21 Apr - The 'Cain Hill' WORLD PREMIERE

April 21st, 2017.

In all the time I've photographed premieres in London (some 400 premieres over 10 years) I'd previously only photographed two ('Malice in Wonderland' in 2010 and 'American Mary' in 2013) at the Prince Charles Cinema, which is located just off Leicester Square in London.

And it wasn't just a premiere this time, it was no less than a WORLD premiere (albeit for a movie I hadn't previously heard of). Here's how it went down:

If they're holding a world premiere for a movie called "Cain Hill", they sure are being ninja-sneaky about it.

If they're holding a world premiere for a movie called "Cain Hill", they sure are being ninja-sneaky about it.

Leicester Place is not the same as Leicester Square... but they're in the same cinematic universe, if you like.

Leicester Place is not the same as Leicester Square... but they're in the same cinematic universe, if you like.

It's a world premiere, and it seems to be a horror/slasher film, and the sponsor is "Hello Gorgeous". which makes things both Curiouser and Curiouser. Then again, nobody has been sworn at by security guards, so it's already better than any premiere held for a Disney movie in the last 6months or so since last December's "Rogue One"

It's a world premiere, and it seems to be a horror/slasher film, and the sponsor is "Hello Gorgeous". which makes things both Curiouser and Curiouser. Then again, nobody has been sworn at by security guards, so it's already better than any premiere held for a Disney movie in the last 6months or so since last December's "Rogue One"

"A world premiere without numbered wristbands or people camping out days in advance? I don't get it." I arrived about 45mins before it started, then headed off for a coffee and returned about 15mins before it started, and I've never done that before either.

"A world premiere without numbered wristbands or people camping out days in advance? I don't get it." I arrived about 45mins before it started, then headed off for a coffee and returned about 15mins before it started, and I've never done that before either.

"No, you can't have one of these bags. No, we can't tell you why or what's in them"

"No, you can't have one of these bags. No, we can't tell you why or what's in them"

Whenever I'm at a premiere and not sure of who's in a movie, I look at who the other photographers are shooting. But this premiere? I was one of only two photographers, and the other wasn't from wireimage or getty. So... here's an awesome beard, and I hope it was in the movie

Whenever I'm at a premiere and not sure of who's in a movie, I look at who the other photographers are shooting. But this premiere? I was one of only two photographers, and the other wasn't from wireimage or getty. So... here's an awesome beard, and I hope it was in the movie

"I know the microphone is larger than the camera. Don't you THINK I know??" this man currently represents the entirety of the Media Pen at this premiere. (Sadly this means I can't *quite* boast that my website has a worldwide exclusive on this world premiere)

"I know the microphone is larger than the camera. Don't you THINK I know??" this man currently represents the entirety of the Media Pen at this premiere. (Sadly this means I can't *quite* boast that my website has a worldwide exclusive on this world premiere)

"Are we in the movie? We'll never tell !!" - generally, I figure that people with bow ties are usually in The Movie. (And people who wear shirts without ties are also usually in The Movie).

"Are we in the movie? We'll never tell !!" - generally, I figure that people with bow ties are usually in The Movie. (And people who wear shirts without ties are also usually in The Movie).

Woman Staring Into Middle Distance. (It's a world premiere. Who am I to judge?)

Woman Staring Into Middle Distance. (It's a world premiere. Who am I to judge?)

"Am I in this movie? Well, that depends on what you mean by "movie" and "this" and "am I", really"

"Am I in this movie? Well, that depends on what you mean by "movie" and "this" and "am I", really"

"This is only slightly more painful for me than it looks. So SMILE, damnit!!"

"This is only slightly more painful for me than it looks. So SMILE, damnit!!"

People hugging people usually means they're in the movie. Or perhaps just naturally affectionate in public places. (edited to add : he's the director, Gene Fallaize)

People hugging people usually means they're in the movie. Or perhaps just naturally affectionate in public places. (edited to add : he's the director, Gene Fallaize)

"I'm currently dressed more awesomely than 98% of the people here. What do I do?"

"I'm currently dressed more awesomely than 98% of the people here. What do I do?"

Excitingly, Phill Martin is both at this premiere AND IN THIS MOVIE. In part I know this because I have photographed him before, at the world premiere of the movie-that-didn't-quite-launch-a-thousand-franchises "Pan"

Excitingly, Phill Martin is both at this premiere AND IN THIS MOVIE. In part I know this because I have photographed him before, at the world premiere of the movie-that-didn't-quite-launch-a-thousand-franchises "Pan"

I don't know who this is. Like I said, I usually take my lead from Getty... but at this premiere I effectively AM Getty.

I don't know who this is. Like I said, I usually take my lead from Getty... but at this premiere I effectively AM Getty.

... one of us is probably in this movie, and I don't think it's me.

... one of us is probably in this movie, and I don't think it's me.

I think he's in the movie. And the tie has an executive producer credit.

I think he's in the movie. And the tie has an executive producer credit.

In some weird way, my brain is currently feeling like this costume looks.

In some weird way, my brain is currently feeling like this costume looks.

"What's this movie about? Well... where to start.... Firstly, which movie are we talking about?"

"What's this movie about? Well... where to start.... Firstly, which movie are we talking about?"

I've finally photographed something at this premiere I'm not uncertain about!

I've finally photographed something at this premiere I'm not uncertain about!

"Am I Michael Parr? Well, that kind of depends on what you mean by "Michael" and "Parr", really..."

"Am I Michael Parr? Well, that kind of depends on what you mean by "Michael" and "Parr", really..."

"What do I think about Cain Hill? Aren't they a legal firm or some kind of organic produce distributor?"

"What do I think about Cain Hill? Aren't they a legal firm or some kind of organic produce distributor?"

"Come on, imdb, don't let me down..." , but even the mighty imdb.com's entry for this movie isn't fully populated with images of the cast.

"Come on, imdb, don't let me down..." , but even the mighty imdb.com's entry for this movie isn't fully populated with images of the cast.

"This man... is shorter than me. That's all I've got for now" - I think the shorter guy might be Tony Cook, who is in this film and was also in 'Eastern Promises' and 'Shaun of the Dead'

"This man... is shorter than me. That's all I've got for now" - I think the shorter guy might be Tony Cook, who is in this film and was also in 'Eastern Promises' and 'Shaun of the Dead'

Please don't break my heart and tell me this man isn't in the movie. Or isn't Jeff Bridges. Or an urban samurai assassin wearing maroon velvet. (Or my residual self-image when I'm inside The Matrix.)

Please don't break my heart and tell me this man isn't in the movie. Or isn't Jeff Bridges. Or an urban samurai assassin wearing maroon velvet. (Or my residual self-image when I'm inside The Matrix.)

"I don't care about orientation as long as we're all in there"

"I don't care about orientation as long as we're all in there"

The square meterage of the red carpet at this premiere was small, but it's not every world premiere that has the confidence not to put in place barriers or security staff to keep the hordes of fans and autograph dealers at bay.

The square meterage of the red carpet at this premiere was small, but it's not every world premiere that has the confidence not to put in place barriers or security staff to keep the hordes of fans and autograph dealers at bay.

It's Alex Zane! And in contrast to every other premiere I've photographed him at, he's actually present at this one as a result of Being In This Movie.

It's Alex Zane! And in contrast to every other premiere I've photographed him at, he's actually present at this one as a result of Being In This Movie.

(with thanks to Alexcatalps) : "I've gotta be honest I'm more used to being on the other side of the microphone.... do you mind if I ask You some questions??"

(with thanks to Alexcatalps) : "I've gotta be honest I'm more used to being on the other side of the microphone.... do you mind if I ask You some questions??"

"I believe they're giving out the last of the goodie bags inside, so I bid you all adieu"

"I believe they're giving out the last of the goodie bags inside, so I bid you all adieu"

Meanwhile at the side/rear entrance, some of the cast and crew seem to have assembled. The man on the far right is Ben Mansbridge, I believe (uncredited as 'Constable No.3' in 2012's 'Les Miserables') while the man facing the camera second from the right is director Gene Fallaize.

Meanwhile at the side/rear entrance, some of the cast and crew seem to have assembled. The man on the far right is Ben Mansbridge, I believe (uncredited as 'Constable No.3' in 2012's 'Les Miserables') while the man facing the camera second from the right is director Gene Fallaize.

Rather awesomely, director Gene Fallaize not only directed this film, but also plays the part of " Hollywood Movie Director" in the film.

Rather awesomely, director Gene Fallaize not only directed this film, but also plays the part of " Hollywood Movie Director" in the film.

So... that was that. A pleasant confusion for me to showcase my inability to operate with precision and control in an environment without Paparazzi and Lists Of Attendees to fall back upon. But on the other hand, it was fun, it was small, it was a world premiere, and it didn't feel like me being there was an irritant to the organisers, in the way that that makes cynical commentary easy, such as might be found at the journals for This Disney Premiere, or This Disney Premiere, or This Disney Premiere. I certainly wish this movie well - I hope it makes 1/50th the gross of Beauty & The Beast (which would give it over $20million!)

So... it's another premiere for The Archive Of Premieres... and until next Monday, when I intend to photograph a...uh... Disney Premiere....

Damnit... (...by which I mean : I can't wait!!!)

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals (I'm sometimes more even more accurate!) feel free to follow me on Facebook at premieresdotco, or on Twitter at @berndt2_photo.

 

12 Apr - 'Their Finest' Special Presentation + Warren Beatty

April 12th, 2017.

The movie 'Their Finest' already had its premiere at last year's BFI London Film Festival. However, when it was announced that the film would have a second 'Special Presentation', I figured I might as well head down to the BFI Southbank and see what I found.

Here's how it went down:

Not so much a world premiere, red carpet, wristbands and the finest dealers London has to offer standing three deep with their bodyweight in glossy 8x12s.... but the brick roadway leading to a small side entrance (not pictured) did look slightly more swept of gunk and debris than usual...

Not so much a world premiere, red carpet, wristbands and the finest dealers London has to offer standing three deep with their bodyweight in glossy 8x12s.... but the brick roadway leading to a small side entrance (not pictured) did look slightly more swept of gunk and debris than usual...

"I want the SWAT team on the right, patrolling ninjas over on the left, and three snipers on the rooftops over there" "Sir... we're expecting Gemma Arterton and Bill Nighy" "You're right. Make it eight snipers on the roof over there..."

"I want the SWAT team on the right, patrolling ninjas over on the left, and three snipers on the rooftops over there"
"Sir... we're expecting Gemma Arterton and Bill Nighy"
"You're right. Make it eight snipers on the roof over there..."

"You want my autograph? How lovely....." - Bill Nighy isn't just a nice guy, but he's also been in cinematic franchises as diverse as Underworld and Pirates of the Caribbean.... and I guess there remains the possbility that the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel will also spawn a cinematic universe eventually.

"You want my autograph? How lovely....." - Bill Nighy isn't just a nice guy, but he's also been in cinematic franchises as diverse as Underworld and Pirates of the Caribbean.... and I guess there remains the possbility that the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel will also spawn a cinematic universe eventually.

"Wait... I was in a Harry Potter movie? I don't even remember that...." - Bill Nighy played Minister Rufus Scrimgeour in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part1 (whose premiere I missed, sadly, though I did go to the massive Part2 premiere which he didn't attend)

"Wait... I was in a Harry Potter movie? I don't even remember that...." - Bill Nighy played Minister Rufus Scrimgeour in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part1 (whose premiere I missed, sadly, though I did go to the massive Part2 premiere which he didn't attend)

"Oh, I agree that Kate Beckinsale is very hot in the Underworld films. But you'll recall the first movie was in 2003, and even I was pretty hot then"

"Oh, I agree that Kate Beckinsale is very hot in the Underworld films. But you'll recall the first movie was in 2003, and even I was pretty hot then"

Gemma Arterton ran the gauntlet of dealers and fans with a skill rarely seen outside of competitive sports. Or action-thriller movies.

Gemma Arterton ran the gauntlet of dealers and fans with a skill rarely seen outside of competitive sports. Or action-thriller movies.

At this point I did something I rarely do : I RAN to the main entrance, cut around a few corners and zipped inside to the photographers' pen, hoping that my natural elan and the projected sense of truly *belonging* there (or perhaps a distracted or disinterested security) would allow me to take closer-range photos inside.

In these dangerous times, sadly the suspicion of security must even fall upon people who seek to initiate high fives at events. The last person I know who tried a fist-bump with a star at a premiere got six stitches and a broken jaw....

In these dangerous times, sadly the suspicion of security must even fall upon people who seek to initiate high fives at events. The last person I know who tried a fist-bump with a star at a premiere got six stitches and a broken jaw....

"You like it? My seamstress managed to secure a fantastic discount for purchases above 20 buttons" - Gemma Arterton has been in such movies (and premieres) as Their Finest (the other premiere) and 100 Streets last year and (say) The Boat That Rocked (which also starred Bill Nighy!)

"You like it? My seamstress managed to secure a fantastic discount for purchases above 20 buttons" - Gemma Arterton has been in such movies (and premieres) as Their Finest (the other premiere) and 100 Streets last year and (say) The Boat That Rocked (which also starred Bill Nighy!)

"You're counting buttons, aren't you?"

"You're counting buttons, aren't you?"

I had a fortuitous Paparazzi flash and a shadow recovery function in my editing software! (Also in a mundane sense, I had a camera and time after work to end this event!).

I had a fortuitous Paparazzi flash and a shadow recovery function in my editing software! (Also in a mundane sense, I had a camera and time after work to end this event!).

"Hey, weren't you also in The Boat That Rocked" "Yes, and I was that Rock, Baby"

"Hey, weren't you also in The Boat That Rocked"
"Yes, and I was that Rock, Baby"

"I saw a Vulcan do this on Star Trek once...."

"I saw a Vulcan do this on Star Trek once...."

"And by manipulating the nerves right here I can make her grin in a way that she'll make sure I'll regret later at the afterparty"

"And by manipulating the nerves right here I can make her grin in a way that she'll make sure I'll regret later at the afterparty"

"Honestly, how many photos of us do you all need? We're not even dating!"

"Honestly, how many photos of us do you all need? We're not even dating!"

"If you want to overstate the extent of our relationship, that's actually fine with me"

"If you want to overstate the extent of our relationship, that's actually fine with me"

.....
............So, that was that, and I was already set to head home when whispers of rumours were held to tell that across town, at the Picturehouse Central, actor/director Warren Beatty would be doing a Q&A. I'd never photographed him before...

Apparently London has an above-ground tube network of busses, and you can use your oyster card to pay the fares on them. Who knew?

Apparently London has an above-ground tube network of busses, and you can use your oyster card to pay the fares on them. Who knew?

So it seemed that the rumours were true : Warren Beatty would be "In Conversation", at something like 7:45pm for an introduction to an 8:30pm screening. The time right now? Just after 7pm.

So it seemed that the rumours were true : Warren Beatty would be "In Conversation", at something like 7:45pm for an introduction to an 8:30pm screening. The time right now? Just after 7pm.

Pens on either side of the Picturehouse Central entranceway were filled with the kind of dealers who would unhesitatingly annihilate you, me, or that kitten over there (not pictured, it's more of a hypothetical kitten) for an autograph of Warren Beatty, or anyone who might show up that they'd also cheerily annihilate you and me and that kitten for.

Pens on either side of the Picturehouse Central entranceway were filled with the kind of dealers who would unhesitatingly annihilate you, me, or that kitten over there (not pictured, it's more of a hypothetical kitten) for an autograph of Warren Beatty, or anyone who might show up that they'd also cheerily annihilate you and me and that kitten for.

Staying away from the Dealer-infested pens seemed the safer option from both an injury and disease point of view, so a spot on the pavement strategically removed from the road to avoid the ire and/or attention of security. And then the waiting began..... not 45mins... but almost 1.5 HOURS.

Staying away from the Dealer-infested pens seemed the safer option from both an injury and disease point of view, so a spot on the pavement strategically removed from the road to avoid the ire and/or attention of security. And then the waiting began..... not 45mins... but almost 1.5 HOURS.

About 10mins after the Q&A was set to start, a car dispenses an elderly man who moves with a sprightness and determination that screams "I have more important things to do than acknowledge you people"

About 10mins after the Q&A was set to start, a car dispenses an elderly man who moves with a sprightness and determination that screams "I have more important things to do than acknowledge you people"

Warren Beatty has been nominated for 13 Oscars in categories as diverse as Acting, Directing and Writing (both original and adapted screenplays) - he's won one (Best Director - Reds(1981), as well as the Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award. And he's about to snub two pens filled with Dealers by not signing autographs for any of them, which is kind of even greater as far as accomplishments go.

Warren Beatty has been nominated for 13 Oscars in categories as diverse as Acting, Directing and Writing (both original and adapted screenplays) - he's won one (Best Director - Reds(1981), as well as the Irving G. Thalberg Memorial Award. And he's about to snub two pens filled with Dealers by not signing autographs for any of them, which is kind of even greater as far as accomplishments go.

Of course, it would be nice to get a direct glimpse, or acknowlegement, from Warren Beatty, even if I wasn't much of a fan of Dick Tracy (1990), the only movie I can currently associate him with.

Of course, it would be nice to get a direct glimpse, or acknowlegement, from Warren Beatty, even if I wasn't much of a fan of Dick Tracy (1990), the only movie I can currently associate him with.

"I'll be back. To catch my limo back to the hotel."

"I'll be back. To catch my limo back to the hotel."

So... that was that. The premiere ('special presentation') for Their Finest was pretty good (though the BFI LFF premiere was more complete and it's here at this link) and pretty easy... the Warren Beatty event for the movie "The Rules Don't Apply" somewhat less so on both counts. But you gotta take the good with the bad every now and then.

And more importantly (?) it's another entry into my Archive of Movie Premieres!

Until next time!

PS. If you want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on Facebook at premieresdotco, or on Twitter at berndt2_photo... or just keep one browser tab open on this website at all times and periodically press refresh to see if anything's changed (that's kind of what I'd do...)

04Apr - Das (or is it 'Die'?) 'Fast & Furious 8' Premiere, Berlin

April 4th, 2017.

So for the third time now (after 2015's Mockingjay Teil2 and this weekend's Die Schluempfe) I find myself in Berlin, photographing a premiere. It was cold, I got there fairly early, and it was over far too quickly, and it was all for three stars from the movie (though by factor of elimination I was mostly there for one).

No regrets a few hours later, my body temperature has mostly returned to normal, and I'm off to Hannover tomorrow. But for today, here's how it went down:

As is customary for premieres in Berlin, the action starts the prior evening, where the diligent German organisers are already laying the carpet, putting up barriers and possibly even pre-recording interviews just to get it all done early. Meanwhile, I'm a bit sad that the movie is being released in Germany with the English title "Fast & Furious 8", as google translate suggests "Die schnell und Wütend 8".

As is customary for premieres in Berlin, the action starts the prior evening, where the diligent German organisers are already laying the carpet, putting up barriers and possibly even pre-recording interviews just to get it all done early.
Meanwhile, I'm a bit sad that the movie is being released in Germany with the English title "Fast & Furious 8", as google translate suggests "Die schnell und Wütend 8".

<translated from the German> "Ideally we'd want to have them towed, but if they belong to Vin Diesel he might get upset, and have you seen the size of his forearms??"

<translated from the German> "Ideally we'd want to have them towed, but if they belong to Vin Diesel he might get upset, and have you seen the size of his forearms??"

The following day:

I'd had my breakfast at Alexanderplatz, done a bit of shopping, had lunch, and got to the Sony Centre just after 1pm. And this was my spot, with a decent view of the posing board and next to the media. There was even a very pretty German lady who indulgently let me practice my broken German with her, so to me the premeire was worth it long before it had a chance to be sub-par.

I'd had my breakfast at Alexanderplatz, done a bit of shopping, had lunch, and got to the Sony Centre just after 1pm. And this was my spot, with a decent view of the posing board and next to the media. There was even a very pretty German lady who indulgently let me practice my broken German with her, so to me the premeire was worth it long before it had a chance to be sub-par.

As I look up at the elongated poster which wishes me a hearty welcome to the premiere, I am struck once again at how this franchise (more than any other) acknowledges the existance, nay pre-eminance, nay superiority, of bald and balding men. And I salute that.

As I look up at the elongated poster which wishes me a hearty welcome to the premiere, I am struck once again at how this franchise (more than any other) acknowledges the existance, nay pre-eminance, nay superiority, of bald and balding men. And I salute that.

<translated from the German> "Do I feel like I'm being objectified for my beauty? Well.. yes. But then again, there's almost no way that's not an implied compliment, plus I'm being paid for it. So who's feeling foolish now?" I gotta start getting sponsorship for this website....

<translated from the German> "Do I feel like I'm being objectified for my beauty? Well.. yes. But then again, there's almost no way that's not an implied compliment, plus I'm being paid for it. So who's feeling foolish now?" I gotta start getting sponsorship for this website....

<translated from the German> "Did one of you two write down what she just said? I need to put that on a t-shirt. Maybe a tight t-shirt, maybe not. I haven't decided"

<translated from the German> "Did one of you two write down what she just said? I need to put that on a t-shirt. Maybe a tight t-shirt, maybe not. I haven't decided"

According to nearby sources, this is possibly a contestant on Germany's Next Top Model. Or, I theorise, a guest on the more niche program "Somebody broke into my house and did this to my favourite sweater - Season 4"

According to nearby sources, this is possibly a contestant on Germany's Next Top Model. Or, I theorise, a guest on the more niche program "Somebody broke into my house and did this to my favourite sweater - Season 4"

I don't know who this is either, but I'm going with "Germany's Slightly Older Version of Justin Bieber" until I find out more.

I don't know who this is either, but I'm going with "Germany's Slightly Older Version of Justin Bieber" until I find out more.

"Your tattooist says he can fit you in next Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Saturday. Oh, I'm sorry... he said 'next Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday AND Saturday" (edited to add : I don't know who this is)

"Your tattooist says he can fit you in next Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Saturday. Oh, I'm sorry... he said 'next Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday AND Saturday" (edited to add : I don't know who this is)

"I'm sorry, Madam and Sir. They just don't believe that you two are Charlize Theron and Vin Diesel"

"I'm sorry, Madam and Sir. They just don't believe that you two are Charlize Theron and Vin Diesel"

And finally, after hours of waiting, and having to grapple with the fact that the German equivalent of London's Hakeem Mr Impact is a duo who don't really insist on making you dance or sing for your freeness (and have a lot more tickets and t-shirts to hand out than in London), and puzzling over German youtube and television celebrities, it's finally started!

And finally, after hours of waiting, and having to grapple with the fact that the German equivalent of London's Hakeem Mr Impact is a duo who don't really insist on making you dance or sing for your freeness (and have a lot more tickets and t-shirts to hand out than in London), and puzzling over German youtube and television celebrities, it's finally started!

F. Gary Gray directed this movie, as well as (with thanks to imdb.com) The Italian Job (2003) remake, which due to my current lack of proximity to the United Kingdom, I will happily profess to be far, far FAR superior to the original. (and, sure, it may have something to do with Charlize Theron having been in it)

F. Gary Gray directed this movie, as well as (with thanks to imdb.com) The Italian Job (2003) remake, which due to my current lack of proximity to the United Kingdom, I will happily profess to be far, far FAR superior to the original. (and, sure, it may have something to do with Charlize Theron having been in it)

"If you can't give me one of the TWO event lanyards you're wearing, can you at least let me know where I can get ONE?" - F Gary Gray's suit might be mildly dishtowel-like in design but it provides excellent contrast-detect assistance for my Pentax.

"If you can't give me one of the TWO event lanyards you're wearing, can you at least let me know where I can get ONE?" - F Gary Gray's suit might be mildly dishtowel-like in design but it provides excellent contrast-detect assistance for my Pentax.

<translated from the German> "I think I prefer the Furious over the Fast. If I had to choose a side, I mean" (edited to add : I don't know who this is, or what the sash she's wearing reads)

<translated from the German> "I think I prefer the Furious over the Fast. If I had to choose a side, I mean" (edited to add : I don't know who this is, or what the sash she's wearing reads)

Finally, the sea of humanity parts for an instance, and the still potential future Mrs Charlize Talasch poses for the Paparazzi. Sadly, the sea of humanity, much like many seas, does not stay parted for long.

Finally, the sea of humanity parts for an instance, and the still potential future Mrs Charlize Talasch poses for the Paparazzi. Sadly, the sea of humanity, much like many seas, does not stay parted for long.

"You think I'm pretty? Well.. I do get that a lot. Not as often in German, though, I grant you"

"You think I'm pretty? Well.. I do get that a lot. Not as often in German, though, I grant you"

After this shot, I think about eight trillion photographers all started blocking my view, and the GoPro mostly failed, and the other camera I had on a monopod didn't pick up much that was realiable at 1 frame per 2 seconds

After this shot, I think about eight trillion photographers all started blocking my view, and the GoPro mostly failed, and the other camera I had on a monopod didn't pick up much that was realiable at 1 frame per 2 seconds

"Hey, I remember you from that giant movie poster where you and I are all alone on the left side while everyone else stands on the right" "And that's what you noticed, and not the image of a dozen cars on a snowfield racing away from a nuclear sub in pursuit??"

"Hey, I remember you from that giant movie poster where you and I are all alone on the left side while everyone else stands on the right"
"And that's what you noticed, and not the image of a dozen cars on a snowfield racing away from a nuclear sub in pursuit??"

The only thing my brain is processing right now is that bald guys with leather jackets who wear sunglasses at night can put their arm around Charlize Theron. And I'm not wearing either right now. Thanks, brain.

The only thing my brain is processing right now is that bald guys with leather jackets who wear sunglasses at night can put their arm around Charlize Theron. And I'm not wearing either right now. Thanks, brain.

"I don't even need the jacket, Bro..."

"I don't even need the jacket, Bro..."

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want a position that's ever so slightly further left than the where you're currently standing.

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want a position that's ever so slightly further left than the where you're currently standing.

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want a position that's ever so slightly further right than the where you're currently standing.

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want a position that's ever so slightly further right than the where you're currently standing.

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want somebody to look up just ever so slightly when walking down stairs. But where safety is not a factor, I can at least console myself with knowing I've photographed Charlize Theron before at the premieres of Hancock, Prometheus and The Gunman, as well as the GQ Awards in 2013.

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want somebody to look up just ever so slightly when walking down stairs. But where safety is not a factor, I can at least console myself with knowing I've photographed Charlize Theron before at the premieres of Hancock, Prometheus and The Gunman, as well as the GQ Awards in 2013.

Some days you just don't feel like writing a caption.

Some days you just don't feel like writing a caption.

Some days you just don't feel like writing a caption 2 (this is how franchises get started)

Some days you just don't feel like writing a caption 2 (this is how franchises get started)

"Don't freak out, but that guy over there wants you to sign something you're probably not expecting" "As long as it's not a live animal or something in an aquarium, I'm game..."

"Don't freak out, but that guy over there wants you to sign something you're probably not expecting"
"As long as it's not a live animal or something in an aquarium, I'm game..."

"The rear spoiler of a Mitsubishi Evo? I'm impressed. Less so if you took it off mine...."

"The rear spoiler of a Mitsubishi Evo? I'm impressed. Less so if you took it off mine...."

"I signed it as Tyreese Gibson. I didn't ask, but I hope that's what you wanted" I've previously photographed Vin Diesel at the premieres of The Last Witch Hunter and Guardians of the Galaxy.

"I signed it as Tyreese Gibson. I didn't ask, but I hope that's what you wanted"
I've previously photographed Vin Diesel at the premieres of The Last Witch Hunter and Guardians of the Galaxy.

"If you'd brought your Nissan Pulsar, I'd maybe have signed it" yeah, but it's right hand drive and parked somewhere in the outskirts of Sydney right now....

"If you'd brought your Nissan Pulsar, I'd maybe have signed it" yeah, but it's right hand drive and parked somewhere in the outskirts of Sydney right now....

It might have failed me on the monopod, but the little GoPro did a good job taking up close photos when it started to get very crushed. Although, sitting in my room editing through these photos, I now feel compelled to ask (because I was holding a camera in each hand at that moment): whose hand is that holding Vin Diesel's bicep? And why??

It might have failed me on the monopod, but the little GoPro did a good job taking up close photos when it started to get very crushed. Although, sitting in my room editing through these photos, I now feel compelled to ask (because I was holding a camera in each hand at that moment): whose hand is that holding Vin Diesel's bicep? And why??

I suppose after seeing somebody bring an actual car part to get signed I should be less surprised at seeing a scale model of a green car in the background....

I suppose after seeing somebody bring an actual car part to get signed I should be less surprised at seeing a scale model of a green car in the background....

"If anyone can beat this score on Candy Crush, they can have my ticket to the movie, since clearly they'd deserve it more - peace out!!"

"If anyone can beat this score on Candy Crush, they can have my ticket to the movie, since clearly they'd deserve it more - peace out!!"

And...

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want a position that's ever so slightly on the top floor of a cinema balcony standing next to Charlize Theron.

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want a position that's ever so slightly on the top floor of a cinema balcony standing next to Charlize Theron.

So... that was that. After missing the 5th and 6th Furious premieres, and London not getting one for the 7th, I can now at Fast & Furious 8 to the Archive of Movie Premieres, right next to the premiere journal for Fast & Furious (the fourth one)

Until next time!

ps. if you ever want to know when I've uploaded a premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter at berndt2_photo, and/or facebook at premieresdotco.

02 Apr - "Die Schlümpfe : Das Verlorene Dorf" (Smurfs : The Lost Village) Deutschland Premiere

April 2nd, 2017.

I'm presently on holiday in Germany, and though I was aware that Berlin would be hosting a premiere this Tuesday, a fortuitous Recon to the Sony Centre on Saturday revealed that there was also set to be a premiere for the Smurfs : The Lost Village animated feature.

Obviously, being animated, the voice cast would be German; but equally obviously, I had my equipment handy, and since more or less everything is closed in Berlin on a Sunday, I made my way down there.

Here's how it went down:

I've done one premiere in Berlin before - the one for The Hunger Games : Mockingjay part 2 (aka : Die Tributen von Panem : Mockingjay Teil 2) in 2015 - and once again I was impressed at how organised Berlin is. No numbers, no wristbands, the carpet and pens had been set up by the prior evening, and you could stand wherever you want at whatever time you felt like. (Me? For a 14:00(ish) start I ambled down around 12:30.

I've done one premiere in Berlin before - the one for The Hunger Games : Mockingjay part 2 (aka : Die Tributen von Panem : Mockingjay Teil 2) in 2015 - and once again I was impressed at how organised Berlin is. No numbers, no wristbands, the carpet and pens had been set up by the prior evening, and you could stand wherever you want at whatever time you felt like. (Me? For a 14:00(ish) start I ambled down around 12:30.

<translated from the German> "There sure are a lot of them. And we're absolutely certain they're friendly?"

<translated from the German> "There sure are a lot of them. And we're absolutely certain they're friendly?"

<translated from the German> "I'm here with somebody in the film's target demographic. But I'm not sure what that dude taking a photo of us is doing here". Hey - I grew up on The Smurfs, and since my background is German I'm even comfortable calling them 'Schlümpfe'. (Also, I have a premieres website to feed and London has proven quiet of late.)

<translated from the German> "I'm here with somebody in the film's target demographic. But I'm not sure what that dude taking a photo of us is doing here". Hey - I grew up on The Smurfs, and since my background is German I'm even comfortable calling them 'Schlümpfe'. (Also, I have a premieres website to feed and London has proven quiet of late.)

I don't know who this is, and both wiremage and getty covered this event so I'm kind of stuck with just hoping he's not harrassing that smurf and risking open war between their race and ours. I don't know about you, but a war with the smurfs would not be... um.... particularly smurfy.

I don't know who this is, and both wiremage and getty covered this event so I'm kind of stuck with just hoping he's not harrassing that smurf and risking open war between their race and ours. I don't know about you, but a war with the smurfs would not be... um.... particularly smurfy.

<translated from the German> - "I don't know about you, but if you look at the poster, that "Lost Village" has at least two female smurfs, so Smurfette is going to have some competition for the first time in her life"

<translated from the German> - "I don't know about you, but if you look at the poster, that "Lost Village" has at least two female smurfs, so Smurfette is going to have some competition for the first time in her life"

<translated from the German> "Blonde hair kind of rules, huh?" - Lisa-Marie Koroll, the imdb kindly informs me, is best known for being in 66 episodes of something called "Familie Dr. Kleist" and for being 'Tina' in four movies of what I assume is the 'Bibi and Tina' cinematic universe.

<translated from the German> "Blonde hair kind of rules, huh?" - Lisa-Marie Koroll, the imdb kindly informs me, is best known for being in 66 episodes of something called "Familie Dr. Kleist" and for being 'Tina' in four movies of what I assume is the 'Bibi and Tina' cinematic universe.

I photographed her on the strength of the fact that if nothing else she reminded me of Australia's own Miranda Kerr, but it turns out she's Fata Hasanovic and she was in Germany's Next Top Model in 2016.

I photographed her on the strength of the fact that if nothing else she reminded me of Australia's own Miranda Kerr, but it turns out she's Fata Hasanovic and she was in Germany's Next Top Model in 2016.

Smurfette (aka : " Schlumpfine"  in the German variant of the Smurfs) will not be signing autographs today, owing to what appears to be a tragic lack of opposable thumbs.

Smurfette (aka : " Schlumpfine"  in the German variant of the Smurfs) will not be signing autographs today, owing to what appears to be a tragic lack of opposable thumbs.

<translated from the German> "Calm down. If we can find the right tailor for your jacket quickly enough, nothing may have to be amputated" - by far the largest screams of the day came for Bianca (aka / possibly 'Bibi') Heinicke, who imdb informs me is best known for "Potato Salad (2015)" and the more complicatedly titled animated "Ritter Rost 2 : Das Schrottkomplott (2017)". She provides the voice for "Schlumpflilie" in the movie.

<translated from the German> "Calm down. If we can find the right tailor for your jacket quickly enough, nothing may have to be amputated" - by far the largest screams of the day came for Bianca (aka / possibly 'Bibi') Heinicke, who imdb informs me is best known for "Potato Salad (2015)" and the more complicatedly titled animated "Ritter Rost 2 : Das Schrottkomplott (2017)". She provides the voice for "Schlumpflilie" in the movie.

"I loved you in 'Schrottkomplott!!!!" - I hadn't heard of it until all of about 2mins ago, but 'Schrottkomplott' is currently my new favourite word. I don't even want to know what it means.

"I loved you in 'Schrottkomplott!!!!" - I hadn't heard of it until all of about 2mins ago, but 'Schrottkomplott' is currently my new favourite word. I don't even want to know what it means.

Sadly, the mighty imdb.com professes not to know who 'Slami Slimani' is, but I think the name is great, the crowd seemed to like him a lot, and his habit of wearing his shirt collar up is one I intend to bring back to London for Spring/Summer 2017. He provides the voice of Vanity Smurf in the film.

Sadly, the mighty imdb.com professes not to know who 'Slami Slimani' is, but I think the name is great, the crowd seemed to like him a lot, and his habit of wearing his shirt collar up is one I intend to bring back to London for Spring/Summer 2017. He provides the voice of Vanity Smurf in the film.

I was all set to proclaim that I'd never heard of Axel Stein, but it turns out he's been in two German movies I've watched : "Mann Tut Was Mann Kann" and "Schutzengel" (I do try to watch German movies when I can - it helps keep my lacklustre German a bit less lacking and a bit more lustrous)

I was all set to proclaim that I'd never heard of Axel Stein, but it turns out he's been in two German movies I've watched : "Mann Tut Was Mann Kann" and "Schutzengel" (I do try to watch German movies when I can - it helps keep my lacklustre German a bit less lacking and a bit more lustrous)

<translated from the German> "I don't want to tell you to hurry, but I think I saw that thing on his arm move...."

<translated from the German> "I don't want to tell you to hurry, but I think I saw that thing on his arm move...."

<translated from the German> "I think the shutter is a bit further up and to the left, man...." Once again, I was all set to profess I had no idea who Jasmin Gerat is, but it turns out she was in "Mann Tut Was Mann Kann" with Alex Stein as well as the movie "Kokowääh" which I've also watched. So basically I just have a terrible memory for faces... especially in 3D rather than 2D on a screen. (She's the voice of 'Schlumpfsturm' -Smurfstorm - in the movie)

<translated from the German> "I think the shutter is a bit further up and to the left, man...." Once again, I was all set to profess I had no idea who Jasmin Gerat is, but it turns out she was in "Mann Tut Was Mann Kann" with Alex Stein as well as the movie "Kokowääh" which I've also watched. So basically I just have a terrible memory for faces... especially in 3D rather than 2D on a screen. (She's the voice of 'Schlumpfsturm' -Smurfstorm - in the movie)

<translated from the German> "I was all out of blue stuff to wear. Hope you don't mind" - Rick Kavanian is the voice of 'Hefty' in the movie.

<translated from the German> "I was all out of blue stuff to wear. Hope you don't mind" - Rick Kavanian is the voice of 'Hefty' in the movie.

<translated from the German> " I don't remember them mo-capping me for the film, but the Smurfs' Happy Dance goes something like this" - Iris Berben is the voice of 'Schlumpfhilde' in the movie, and among other things she was also in the movie (but not the premiere of) "Eddie the Eagle" as well as 'Es Kommt Der Tag' which I have actually watched.

<translated from the German> " I don't remember them mo-capping me for the film, but the Smurfs' Happy Dance goes something like this" - Iris Berben is the voice of 'Schlumpfhilde' in the movie, and among other things she was also in the movie (but not the premiere of) "Eddie the Eagle" as well as 'Es Kommt Der Tag' which I have actually watched.

"It's not just because I'm Vanity Smurf, lady. This popped collar is what gives me my mad skillz with the ladiez. At least those ladiez who are cool with being called "The Ladiez", I mean".

"It's not just because I'm Vanity Smurf, lady. This popped collar is what gives me my mad skillz with the ladiez. At least those ladiez who are cool with being called "The Ladiez", I mean".

<translated from the German> "Gargamel doesn't have more hair than me... it's just darker and longer". Not only is Christoph Maria Herbst best known for playing a character with the same first name as me in a TV Series called "Stromberg" (that's his surname) but he was also in - and I really must track this movie down - the voice of Ritter Rost in the movie everyone on this website can't get enough of "Ritter Rost 2 : Das Schrottkomplott"!!

<translated from the German> "Gargamel doesn't have more hair than me... it's just darker and longer". Not only is Christoph Maria Herbst best known for playing a character with the same first name as me in a TV Series called "Stromberg" (that's his surname) but he was also in - and I really must track this movie down - the voice of Ritter Rost in the movie everyone on this website can't get enough of "Ritter Rost 2 : Das Schrottkomplott"!!

<translated from the German> "You're small... but not small enough to be a smurf. So you're safe.."

<translated from the German> "You're small... but not small enough to be a smurf. So you're safe.."

<translated from the German> "Oh, girlfriend, we're going to have to work on your nails. Wait.. which side of your hand am I looking at here?"

<translated from the German> "Oh, girlfriend, we're going to have to work on your nails. Wait.. which side of your hand am I looking at here?"

<translated from the German> "That hat? Well that tall dude in blue with the beard is wearing the red one so I'm going with this" - Heiner Lauterbach isn't merey the voice of the German Papa Smurf, but he's in the movie 'Die Neuen' which is literally loaded on my iphone right now.

<translated from the German> "That hat? Well that tall dude in blue with the beard is wearing the red one so I'm going with this" - Heiner Lauterbach isn't merey the voice of the German Papa Smurf, but he's in the movie 'Die Neuen' which is literally loaded on my iphone right now.

<translated from the German> "Wait... I just gotta quickly recharge my powers before I say :"hey, baby" "

<translated from the German> "Wait... I just gotta quickly recharge my powers before I say :"hey, baby" "

Looking more like Germany's answer to the new Spider-Man Tom Holland, once again it turns out that this is not some random guy, but rather the Tim Oliver Schultz, the German voice of 'Clumsy Smurf' who is also in 'Die Welle' ('The Wave') which I have watched.

Looking more like Germany's answer to the new Spider-Man Tom Holland, once again it turns out that this is not some random guy, but rather the Tim Oliver Schultz, the German voice of 'Clumsy Smurf' who is also in 'Die Welle' ('The Wave') which I have watched.

<translated from the German> "You could take those sunglasses off, you know?" "I'd just as soon remove my own appendix"

<translated from the German>
"You could take those sunglasses off, you know?"
"I'd just as soon remove my own appendix"

<translated from the German> "Thanks for lending him your pocket knife....."

<translated from the German> "Thanks for lending him your pocket knife....."

Prior to doing this journal I honestly thought that the only person at this premiere who I'd actually heard of was actress Nora Tschirner - among other things she was in the excellent "Keinohrhase" and its rather less great sequel "Zweiohrkucken"

Prior to doing this journal I honestly thought that the only person at this premiere who I'd actually heard of was actress Nora Tschirner - among other things she was in the excellent "Keinohrhase" and its rather less great sequel "Zweiohrkucken"

<translated from the German> "Now I know you only really date blue guys, but it's the 21st Century and that kind of racism just doesn't fly any more, Smurfette...especially with me doing your voice now."

<translated from the German> "Now I know you only really date blue guys, but it's the 21st Century and that kind of racism just doesn't fly any more, Smurfette...especially with me doing your voice now."

<translated from the German> "She might have had one too many glasses of obstschnapps and right now she's not feeling quite as .... Smurfy.... as she should"

<translated from the German> "She might have had one too many glasses of obstschnapps and right now she's not feeling quite as .... Smurfy.... as she should"

Lena Gercke is the host of Austria's Next Top Model (that's the country with the Mozart, not the one with the Koalas) and is also the voice of " Schlumpfblüte" ('Smurfblossom') in the movie.

Lena Gercke is the host of Austria's Next Top Model (that's the country with the Mozart, not the one with the Koalas) and is also the voice of " Schlumpfblüte" ('Smurfblossom') in the movie.

"I can't provide makeup tricks to Smurfette right now, I'm sorry..."

"I can't provide makeup tricks to Smurfette right now, I'm sorry..."

<translated from the German> : "I'm not sure if my character dresses this edgy in the movie, but I'm given to understand she's shorter than me as well?"

<translated from the German> : "I'm not sure if my character dresses this edgy in the movie, but I'm given to understand she's shorter than me as well?"

<translated from the German> "We were never going to show up in blueface for this premiere, bro, regardless of how that bet turned out."

<translated from the German> "We were never going to show up in blueface for this premiere, bro, regardless of how that bet turned out."

If this had been the US premiere, I believe this photo would read (from left to right) : Julia Roberts, Ariel Winter, Rainn Wilson, Ellie Kemper, Tituss Burgess, Michelle Rodriguez, and Jack McBrayer. But their German wouldn't be nearly as good.

If this had been the US premiere, I believe this photo would read (from left to right) : Julia Roberts, Ariel Winter, Rainn Wilson, Ellie Kemper, Tituss Burgess, Michelle Rodriguez, and Jack McBrayer. But their German wouldn't be nearly as good.

<translated from the German> "We hope that even if you're not German, everyone buys the German DVD and puts on English Subtitles". (People still buy DVDs, right?)

<translated from the German> "We hope that even if you're not German, everyone buys the German DVD and puts on English Subtitles". (People still buy DVDs, right?)

<translated from the German> "Well... we could stay here on the Smurfy blue carpet while our eyes slowly adjust to a world without green and red, or we could head in for free popcorn and drinks?"

<translated from the German> "Well... we could stay here on the Smurfy blue carpet while our eyes slowly adjust to a world without green and red, or we could head in for free popcorn and drinks?"

<translated from the German> "Holding it that high is no way to get my good side...."

<translated from the German> "Holding it that high is no way to get my good side...."

So... that was rather great. Not only did I get to have a surprise premiere in Berlin, but I got to photograph quite a lot of actors I've actually seen in German-language movies I've watched.

And it's a first time for me : photographing a non-English speaking premiere in a non-English speaking country. I guess that means it gets added to the "Archive of Premieres", which also includes two Korean language, one Japanese, and one Chinese film (with premieres in London).

Until next time! (Hopefully Tuesday!)

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals (typically in London), feel free to follow me on either facebook at premieresdotco, or twitter at berndt2_photo.

16 Mar - The 'Another Mother's Son' Premiere

March 16th, 2017

It's been over two weeks since my last premiere or event, and what's worse there are currently *zero* scheduled upcoming premieres. So no matter how unknown (or trivial the movie), or how few A-or-close-Listers expected to arrive, attend, or even be in the movie, I guess I was always going to go.

Here's how it went down:

It started with something that has never, EVER happened : I got wristband #1 for a premiere! However, contrary to what you might think, this is an exceedingly *worrying* thing - if I show up around lunchtime and get a wristband with this number, it means that nobody in the prior several hours wanted it more. And even worse, it almost certainly means that London's Autograph dealers have a better event to be at... meaning one I'm not aware of. Damn.

It started with something that has never, EVER happened : I got wristband #1 for a premiere! However, contrary to what you might think, this is an exceedingly *worrying* thing - if I show up around lunchtime and get a wristband with this number, it means that nobody in the prior several hours wanted it more. And even worse, it almost certainly means that London's Autograph dealers have a better event to be at... meaning one I'm not aware of. Damn.

"Another Mother's Son" isn't exactly a move title that rolls off the tongue, or suggests much about what kind of movie it might be. But then in London today there was a screening for the movie "Life" and I'm pretty sure six months from now nobody's going to know what the hell that movie was about.

"Another Mother's Son" isn't exactly a move title that rolls off the tongue, or suggests much about what kind of movie it might be. But then in London today there was a screening for the movie "Life" and I'm pretty sure six months from now nobody's going to know what the hell that movie was about.

Meanwhile, much like me (metaphorically) late birds catch what are probably some very surprised worms.

Meanwhile, much like me (metaphorically) late birds catch what are probably some very surprised worms.

"There are so may people in this movie...." "I think those are just the same three rotated over and over, Gwen..."

"There are so may people in this movie...."
"I think those are just the same three rotated over and over, Gwen..."

"And then the wind blew me back... are you guys even listening to me??" - I don't know who this, but either she was interviewed or tried to be, and I give her credit for both of those things.

"And then the wind blew me back... are you guys even listening to me??" - I don't know who this, but either she was interviewed or tried to be, and I give her credit for both of those things.

"I hope you got my good side! Oh, who am I kidding, all my sides are good...."

"I hope you got my good side! Oh, who am I kidding, all my sides are good...."

"My jacket? No you can't have it. It's cold. That's why I brought it and that's why I'm wearing it" - foolishly I reasoned that since it was mid-March and sunny this morning, that there was no way it could be eight degrees and windy by the evening. (later edited to add : Nicholas Farrell, who is in this movie but never faced in my direction)

"My jacket? No you can't have it. It's cold. That's why I brought it and that's why I'm wearing it" - foolishly I reasoned that since it was mid-March and sunny this morning, that there was no way it could be eight degrees and windy by the evening. (later edited to add : Nicholas Farrell, who is in this movie but never faced in my direction)

I'm not sure who this is or whether he's famous, but I think I saw his hat on the Movie Poster.

I'm not sure who this is or whether he's famous, but I think I saw his hat on the Movie Poster.

I don't know who this is but she and/or the dress were interviewed by The Media.

I don't know who this is but she and/or the dress were interviewed by The Media.

"Wait... I don't know who ANY of these people are. Is it possible that tonight is about filming a movie about a premiere for a fake movie?" Meanwhile, the poster's tag-line "The Strength To Resist. The Courage To Hope" has got to be one of the worst designed and least inspiring focus-grouped tag lines in a while. I'm not even sure what the second part of it means!

"Wait... I don't know who ANY of these people are. Is it possible that tonight is about filming a movie about a premiere for a fake movie?"
Meanwhile, the poster's tag-line "The Strength To Resist. The Courage To Hope" has got to be one of the worst designed and least inspiring focus-grouped tag lines in a while. I'm not even sure what the second part of it means!

I don't know who this is. I don't know what I'm doing here, and incidentally, I wish I'd brought a warmer jacket and beanie combination.

I don't know who this is. I don't know what I'm doing here, and incidentally, I wish I'd brought a warmer jacket and beanie combination.

I don't know who this is (either), but she's prettier than the previous guy, and wearing less clothing than I am, and looking at that guy's holiday snaps like she genuinely cares. Now *that's* acting. (later edited to add : Sophie Skelton, and she's in this movie)

I don't know who this is (either), but she's prettier than the previous guy, and wearing less clothing than I am, and looking at that guy's holiday snaps like she genuinely cares. Now *that's* acting. (later edited to add : Sophie Skelton, and she's in this movie)

You're never going to believe this, but the two guys in this photo are IN THIS MOVIE! It's almost like this is a legitimate premiere for a movie I hadn't heard of until they announced the premiere!

You're never going to believe this, but the two guys in this photo are IN THIS MOVIE! It's almost like this is a legitimate premiere for a movie I hadn't heard of until they announced the premiere!

I don't know who this is, but in every single photo I took of her she was only showing the left side of her face, so I've concluded she's been horribly scarred by some kind of acid attack like Two-Face in Batman. I hope she makes a speedy recovery, though. (edited to add : possibly Izzy Meikle-Small, who is in this movie)

I don't know who this is, but in every single photo I took of her she was only showing the left side of her face, so I've concluded she's been horribly scarred by some kind of acid attack like Two-Face in Batman. I hope she makes a speedy recovery, though. (edited to add : possibly Izzy Meikle-Small, who is in this movie)

"Please don't ask me if I'm happy with my Home & Contents Insurance right now." - Jenny Seagrove isn't just in the centre of the movie poster, but also in this movie!

"Please don't ask me if I'm happy with my Home & Contents Insurance right now." - Jenny Seagrove isn't just in the centre of the movie poster, but also in this movie!

"I see none of you dressed formally for this occasion, opting instead to either stay warm or freeze in casual comfort. Well the joke's on you : this bow tie is thermally insulated" - Julian Kostov is also in this movie.

"I see none of you dressed formally for this occasion, opting instead to either stay warm or freeze in casual comfort. Well the joke's on you : this bow tie is thermally insulated" - Julian Kostov is also in this movie.

"The screaming is mostly coming from over there, from three or four women. And possibly one high-pitched dude" - the reason for the majority of people in the crowd being here is Ronan Keating, who is both a singer and the lead in this film.

"The screaming is mostly coming from over there, from three or four women. And possibly one high-pitched dude" - the reason for the majority of people in the crowd being here is Ronan Keating, who is both a singer and the lead in this film.

"I think they think I'm actor Ewan MacGregor. What do I do? I signed their Star Wars merchandise....."

"I think they think I'm actor Ewan MacGregor. What do I do? I signed their Star Wars merchandise....."

"Check it out. They're showing that Beauty & The Beast live-action money-grab" "Cartoons are so much cuter than live-action when they're taking your money..."

"Check it out. They're showing that Beauty & The Beast live-action money-grab"
"Cartoons are so much cuter than live-action when they're taking your money..."

"I can't actually verify your safety if you step past this barrier, miss" "And you're going to taste my popcorn first too, I assume?" "It's the only way sure. May I recommend the caramel flavour?"

"I can't actually verify your safety if you step past this barrier, miss"
"And you're going to taste my popcorn first too, I assume?"
"It's the only way sure. May I recommend the caramel flavour?"

"What do you mean Batman fought Superman in a movie? Who won???" - as I look down the list of films in Jenny Seagrove's imdb entry, I am struck by the fact that I have literally not watched a single thing she's been in over the last near 35 years.

"What do you mean Batman fought Superman in a movie? Who won???" - as I look down the list of films in Jenny Seagrove's imdb entry, I am struck by the fact that I have literally not watched a single thing she's been in over the last near 35 years.

"And you're sure this is legal? I mean... ethical? I mean.... not actively prevented by the studios involved?"

"And you're sure this is legal? I mean... ethical? I mean.... not actively prevented by the studios involved?"

"I can't actually verify your safety if you step past this barrier, sir" "And you're going to taste my Coke first too, I assume?" "I prefer Doctor Pepper....."

"I can't actually verify your safety if you step past this barrier, sir"
"And you're going to taste my Coke first too, I assume?"
"I prefer Doctor Pepper....."

"Dutch Tilt it! Dutch Tilt it!!!"

"Dutch Tilt it! Dutch Tilt it!!!"

"Can't talk. Being kidnapped. Trying not to panic. Call the police. Struggling to keep my voice calm. No, seriously, call the police. Have a good evening."

"Can't talk. Being kidnapped. Trying not to panic. Call the police. Struggling to keep my voice calm. No, seriously, call the police. Have a good evening."

"Says you still owe him five dollars...." "No way."

"Says you still owe him five dollars...."
"No way."

"I can't guarantee your safety past this barrier, Sir..." "Just buy yourself something from the snack bar for you to try on my behalf" "Right away, Sir"

"I can't guarantee your safety past this barrier, Sir..."
"Just buy yourself something from the snack bar for you to try on my behalf"
"Right away, Sir"

"I think I just saw that thing on top of your jacket move. Yes, I know it's fake fur... that's why I'm so worried...."

"I think I just saw that thing on top of your jacket move. Yes, I know it's fake fur... that's why I'm so worried...."

... and finally:

"But what if nobody even notices me, Barbara? What THEN???"

"But what if nobody even notices me, Barbara? What THEN???"

So... that was that. Not exactly a premiere as auspicious as I might have wanted, given I bore the hallowed "1" wristband for the first and likely only time. And certainly a lot colder.

But it was okay. And even if there are no premieres currently forecast, foretold or prophecied, for now I can put another premiere into the archive of movie premieres, and put forth a link/invitation to follow me on either facebook or follow me on twitter, and bid you adieu.

Until next time!

28 Feb - The 'Kong : Skull Island' European Premiere

February 28th, 2017.

Through a touch of fortune, I was able to get my crazy holographic sparkly wristband for today's Kong Skull Island premiere one day early just by walking past Leicester Square and noting the big stage already in the process of being constructed.

And through an additional touch of fortune, I was able to both skip lunch AND leave work an hour early to get to the premiere and 'defend' my excellent wristband number 29.

And then it got cold. And then it rained. And then the pens got compressed and I lost half of my front row spot.... and then ten minutes into the premiere I walked away from my front row spot and shot from the third row.

Here's how it went down:

Security let us into the pens early, which is excellent insofar as choosing a spot is concerned, but not so much when, three hours later security then alter the pen design in a way that makes your choice (and the three hours spent shivering in the cold and occasional rain) wrong.

Security let us into the pens early, which is excellent insofar as choosing a spot is concerned, but not so much when, three hours later security then alter the pen design in a way that makes your choice (and the three hours spent shivering in the cold and occasional rain) wrong.

"Mirror-app, Mirror-app, on the wall; please reassure me that Hiddleston's tall"

"Mirror-app, Mirror-app, on the wall; please reassure me that Hiddleston's tall"

"You could continue to pretend to be psychic about who's attending, or you could check the other side of the list, which has peoples' face and names on it" Or look at the giant screens all around which are also displaying the expected attendees.

"You could continue to pretend to be psychic about who's attending, or you could check the other side of the list, which has peoples' face and names on it" Or look at the giant screens all around which are also displaying the expected attendees.

"You're not even listening to either of us, are you? You're fantasising about Tom Hiddleston, aren't you?"

"You're not even listening to either of us, are you? You're fantasising about Tom Hiddleston, aren't you?"

"The Ape looks angry, Jerry. He makes me uncomfortable...."

"The Ape looks angry, Jerry. He makes me uncomfortable...."

A car pulls up, and in the event that the occupant of it is not Tom Hiddleston, whoever it is will feel a chill of disapproval they did nothing to deserve but is nonetheless sincere.

A car pulls up, and in the event that the occupant of it is not Tom Hiddleston, whoever it is will feel a chill of disapproval they did nothing to deserve but is nonetheless sincere.

Our first arrival carries a beard the likes of which none of us in the crowd (even those that had checked imdb.com beforehand) quite knew how to grapple with. The beard's owner : director Jordan Vogt-Roberts.

Our first arrival carries a beard the likes of which none of us in the crowd (even those that had checked imdb.com beforehand) quite knew how to grapple with. The beard's owner : director Jordan Vogt-Roberts.

"The beard is magnificent. I must have it. Even if I never actually wear it - it must be mine" - this movie's lead Tom Hiddleston, arguably best known for being Loki in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, arrived earlier to much screeching, cheering and swooning.

"The beard is magnificent. I must have it. Even if I never actually wear it - it must be mine" - this movie's lead Tom Hiddleston, arguably best known for being Loki in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, arrived earlier to much screeching, cheering and swooning.

I last photographed Tom Hiddleston in 2015 at The BFI Luminous Gala and the premiere of "High-Rise" and his presence at this premiere was certainly greeted with the noisiest cheers. I myself am here primarily for actress Brie Larson, who I've never photographed. Hiddleston and The Director's Beard are just a bonus.

I last photographed Tom Hiddleston in 2015 at The BFI Luminous Gala and the premiere of "High-Rise" and his presence at this premiere was certainly greeted with the noisiest cheers. I myself am here primarily for actress Brie Larson, who I've never photographed. Hiddleston and The Director's Beard are just a bonus.

"This man! This man here, and not Robert Downey Jnr is the man who is singlehandedly keeping the Marvel Cinematic Universe afloat. No, I will NOT be quiet, Barbara - he needs to KNOW this!"

"This man! This man here, and not Robert Downey Jnr is the man who is singlehandedly keeping the Marvel Cinematic Universe afloat. No, I will NOT be quiet, Barbara - he needs to KNOW this!"

"Hey, you're that guy who was almost singlehandedly responsible for the alien invasion of New York! Love the jacket, man!". Samuel L Jackson is also part of the Marvel Cinematic Unverse, playing the role of Nick Fury across numerous films including Captain America The Winter Soldier and Captain America Civil War.

"Hey, you're that guy who was almost singlehandedly responsible for the alien invasion of New York! Love the jacket, man!". Samuel L Jackson is also part of the Marvel Cinematic Unverse, playing the role of Nick Fury across numerous films including Captain America The Winter Soldier and Captain America Civil War.

"This hat? It was a gift. From a guy. Sure, I was mugging him for his wallet at the time, but he gave me that hat of his own free will" - John C. Reilly is in this film, though sadly his hat is not.

"This hat? It was a gift. From a guy. Sure, I was mugging him for his wallet at the time, but he gave me that hat of his own free will" - John C. Reilly is in this film, though sadly his hat is not.

"Loki, Son of Odin, please deliver Hiddleston to me..... I know there are other gods I could be praying to, but I feel You're uniquely qualified to grant me this one wish..."

"Loki, Son of Odin, please deliver Hiddleston to me..... I know there are other gods I could be praying to, but I feel You're uniquely qualified to grant me this one wish..."

"I'm not sure I should be looking at that, bro"

"I'm not sure I should be looking at that, bro"

This is Alex Garcia, a producer of the film. I make it a point to photograph producers at premieres, as there's probably a better chance they'll decide my style of photography is uniquely suited to location and production photography (which : it really is) and might offer me a job. Because I could totally do it.

This is Alex Garcia, a producer of the film. I make it a point to photograph producers at premieres, as there's probably a better chance they'll decide my style of photography is uniquely suited to location and production photography (which : it really is) and might offer me a job. Because I could totally do it.

Alison Brie, who won a Best Actress Oscar last year for 'The Room', has arrived. I've not photographed her before, and she's set to play Captain Marvel in the cinematic universse already populated by co-stars Tom Hiddleston and Samuel L Jackson (but not, as yet, a giant ape).

Alison Brie, who won a Best Actress Oscar last year for 'The Room', has arrived. I've not photographed her before, and she's set to play Captain Marvel in the cinematic universse already populated by co-stars Tom Hiddleston and Samuel L Jackson (but not, as yet, a giant ape).

"OMG you're Tom Hiddleston - and also you were in that movie I was in!!"

"OMG you're Tom Hiddleston - and also you were in that movie I was in!!"

"OMG! Tom Hiddleston remembered my name! I mean, we spent months on set together, but one can never truly assume for certain...."

"OMG! Tom Hiddleston remembered my name! I mean, we spent months on set together, but one can never truly assume for certain...."

"So I just woke up one morning and thought 'why don't we do a movie about a giant ape?'. Turns out they'd done that before in 1933 and 2005 and a couple of times in between. But how was I to know? Also, turned out the studio owned the rights, so we were okay...."

"So I just woke up one morning and thought 'why don't we do a movie about a giant ape?'. Turns out they'd done that before in 1933 and 2005 and a couple of times in between. But how was I to know? Also, turned out the studio owned the rights, so we were okay...."

"This lighting is very romantic. I hope you don't mind, I'm subconsciously trying to figure out exactly where I want Brie Larson to stand later on when I interview her."

"This lighting is very romantic. I hope you don't mind, I'm subconsciously trying to figure out exactly where I want Brie Larson to stand later on when I interview her."

John C Reilly actually has an Academy Award nomination to his credit (Best Supporting Actor, Chicago, 2002). His hat, meanwhile, which I'm still somewhat fixated by, allegedly once killed a crocodile by drowning it in its own blood. Or so I hear.

John C Reilly actually has an Academy Award nomination to his credit (Best Supporting Actor, Chicago, 2002). His hat, meanwhile, which I'm still somewhat fixated by, allegedly once killed a crocodile by drowning it in its own blood. Or so I hear.

"....Weren't you in that terrible remake of Ben Hur that sank without a trace last year?"

"....Weren't you in that terrible remake of Ben Hur that sank without a trace last year?"

"That thing I'm pointing at is a distraction from that question you just asked me, Gerry." Toby Kebbell was also (unfortunately) in similarly disastrous box officer performers like "Fant4stic Four" (2015) and "Warcraft : The Beginning" (2016). But he was in Rock'n'Rolla back in 2008 and that was a good film.

"That thing I'm pointing at is a distraction from that question you just asked me, Gerry." Toby Kebbell was also (unfortunately) in similarly disastrous box officer performers like "Fant4stic Four" (2015) and "Warcraft : The Beginning" (2016). But he was in Rock'n'Rolla back in 2008 and that was a good film.

"I watched Warcraft AND Fant4stic AND Ben Hur..... do I get to ask him for a personal apology or refund or something?"

"I watched Warcraft AND Fant4stic AND Ben Hur..... do I get to ask him for a personal apology or refund or something?"

"I'm TRYING to be discreet here, Gerry. It doesn't work if you look at me like you've noticed what I'm doing...."

"I'm TRYING to be discreet here, Gerry. It doesn't work if you look at me like you've noticed what I'm doing...."

"Is it vertical or horizontal video you're not meant to shoot? I keep forgetting"

"Is it vertical or horizontal video you're not meant to shoot? I keep forgetting"

"I know what you're thinking. The beanie and jacket clash slightly. Wel, Sir,you're absolutely right about that. And yet here I am on this stage loving life while you're in the crowd, being crushed, looking up at me in your perfectly matched ensemble". I knew attending London Fashion Week 2017's many streetside congregations would come back to haunt me...

"I know what you're thinking. The beanie and jacket clash slightly. Wel, Sir,you're absolutely right about that. And yet here I am on this stage loving life while you're in the crowd, being crushed, looking up at me in your perfectly matched ensemble". I knew attending London Fashion Week 2017's many streetside congregations would come back to haunt me...

'I thought it might undermine my credibility if I asked for a selfie on-set while we were still shooting, but this is the promotional tour, Tom. May I?" Wow. The director of the film wants a selfie with Tom Hiddleston.

'I thought it might undermine my credibility if I asked for a selfie on-set while we were still shooting, but this is the promotional tour, Tom. May I?" Wow. The director of the film wants a selfie with Tom Hiddleston.

Tom Hiddleston responds to the plaintive pleas of the (female) fans in the pen I'm in. And also ghostly green hands.

Tom Hiddleston responds to the plaintive pleas of the (female) fans in the pen I'm in. And also ghostly green hands.

"You look lovely, beautiful, flawless! Just let me cover up that one spot..."

"You look lovely, beautiful, flawless! Just let me cover up that one spot..."

"I don't really have any questions, Alison. I just want this quiet romantic moment between you, me, and several hundred people to speak for itself"

"I don't really have any questions, Alison. I just want this quiet romantic moment between you, me, and several hundred people to speak for itself"

"I could keep holding that umbrella inside the cinema, and on the way to the hotel, and... like... forever after that, if you like and if it's not too weird?"

"I could keep holding that umbrella inside the cinema, and on the way to the hotel, and... like... forever after that, if you like and if it's not too weird?"

All of a sudden, my urge to pre-emptively hate yet another Marvel frachise entry - one starring Brie Larson - is fading. It's possibly got to do with the dress.

All of a sudden, my urge to pre-emptively hate yet another Marvel frachise entry - one starring Brie Larson - is fading. It's possibly got to do with the dress.

"My wife really wants your autograph. Just make it out to "Gerry", though. That'll be fine"

"My wife really wants your autograph. Just make it out to "Gerry", though. That'll be fine"

I would have like to have taken photos of Tom Hiddleston walking off-stage in our direction, but all of a sudden all the people in our pen spontaneously decided to leave, blocking my view with their umbrellas and sweeping me towards the pen exit like some kind of disapointed tide of estrogen and autograph dealers....

I would have like to have taken photos of Tom Hiddleston walking off-stage in our direction, but all of a sudden all the people in our pen spontaneously decided to leave, blocking my view with their umbrellas and sweeping me towards the pen exit like some kind of disapointed tide of estrogen and autograph dealers....

So... that was that. And frustrating / infuriating though it was to literally lose a front-row spot because of a late and arbitrary decision by Security at the event, it does show one thing I've generally held to be true as a strategy for photographing premieres : Don't Stay Married To Your Spot. Even if it's the front row, don't stay if it's not good. Even if you've 'worked' hard for your spot, staying there when it's crap is not as good as moving elsewhere into a spot you'd never voluntarily have chosen that is now better.

Also there's a movie about a giant ape being released in cinemas. If that's your thing, you should totally go see that. For now, more personally, it means I can go inside, where it's warm, and dry, and put another entry into The Archive of Movie Premieres.

Until next time!

ps. If you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or on twitter at berndt2_photo.

 

 

23 Feb - The 'Beauty and the Beast' premiere you have when you're not having a 'Beauty and the Beast' premiere

February 23rd, 2017.

So for the third time in as many premieres for their movies, the diversified multimedia behemoth that is Disney (2015 Revenues : $US52billion) decided not to have a premiere for one of their movies. First it was Doctor Strange last year, which to be fair was from one of their minor studios called MARVEL, that had a screening without a premiere. The second was an obscure entry into the little known STAR WARS FRANCHISE called "Rogue One", so no harm no foul there. And now for the third time, the little struggling studio is re-making their own public domain appropriation of well known fairy tales in live action form with BEAUTY and the BEAST.

To be fair, when the event was listed as a 'Launch' and the venue as 'Central London - Embargoed', it made sense to presume Disney didn't want me, or fans in general to be at the Odeon Leicester Square, hoping for something to go down.

Here's what went down:

Two hours to go, and instead of a heaving premiere with filled pens, we have sixteen barriers against a wall, some marketing people with a ludicrously convoluted "free" competition on spurious Beauty & The Beast grounds, and all the signage being for the decidedly Family Unfriendly "Fifty Shades Darker". ... it certainly has all the hallmarks of yet another great Disney Event!

Two hours to go, and instead of a heaving premiere with filled pens, we have sixteen barriers against a wall, some marketing people with a ludicrously convoluted "free" competition on spurious Beauty & The Beast grounds, and all the signage being for the decidedly Family Unfriendly "Fifty Shades Darker". ... it certainly has all the hallmarks of yet another great Disney Event!

It's an hour before the screening is set to start, and a huge crowd has gathered for the mere rumour that against all evidence (like lack of carpet, lack of wristbands, lack of outdoor media and security telling us nobody's coming) a premiere might be going on. We're all fools, but of the optimistic kind!

It's an hour before the screening is set to start, and a huge crowd has gathered for the mere rumour that against all evidence (like lack of carpet, lack of wristbands, lack of outdoor media and security telling us nobody's coming) a premiere might be going on. We're all fools, but of the optimistic kind!

There are four Paparazzi inside the Odeon Foyer (far less than you'd assume for a cast that includes Emma Watson, Ian McKellen and the director of Twilight) and there is a List featuring none of the cast. It's looking grim, but crowd spirits remain high. Mostly because by huddling against the blistering wind, we're all keeping warmer than we would be on our own.

There are four Paparazzi inside the Odeon Foyer (far less than you'd assume for a cast that includes Emma Watson, Ian McKellen and the director of Twilight) and there is a List featuring none of the cast. It's looking grim, but crowd spirits remain high. Mostly because by huddling against the blistering wind, we're all keeping warmer than we would be on our own.

You know... it's all fun and games until kids show up who will be crushed not to be able to see Emma Watson and Dan Stevens and Luke Evans, let alone get an autograph or picture. Well done, Disney. You know that your target market is the PARENTS of these kids. And they're at work right now.

You know... it's all fun and games until kids show up who will be crushed not to be able to see Emma Watson and Dan Stevens and Luke Evans, let alone get an autograph or picture. Well done, Disney. You know that your target market is the PARENTS of these kids. And they're at work right now.

In fairness to Disney, having poor peasants look at their social betters and dreaming of joining them one day is part and parcel of the dreams that the company sells. And also, Disney doesn't hate these people as long as they end up buying tickets to see the movie, and later buy the DVD, the soundtrack and the merchandise.

In fairness to Disney, having poor peasants look at their social betters and dreaming of joining them one day is part and parcel of the dreams that the company sells. And also, Disney doesn't hate these people as long as they end up buying tickets to see the movie, and later buy the DVD, the soundtrack and the merchandise.

We have an actual celebrity! It's Philip Schofield, and outside of seeming to recall his daughter shamelessly flirting with me at a premiere years ago (which I'm not entirely sure I'm lying about), I don't know much about him.

We have an actual celebrity! It's Philip Schofield, and outside of seeming to recall his daughter shamelessly flirting with me at a premiere years ago (which I'm not entirely sure I'm lying about), I don't know much about him.

It's Ronan Keating!! Apparently there's an upcoming premiere (a 'real' premiere I mean) that he's set to attend, so I'll save quirky commentary for photos presumably less quirky than this.

It's Ronan Keating!! Apparently there's an upcoming premiere (a 'real' premiere I mean) that he's set to attend, so I'll save quirky commentary for photos presumably less quirky than this.

"I don't know what you're complaining about. Disney loves ME! As long as I keep blogging positive things about everything Disney-related, I'll keep getting free tickets to stuff!". Ah... that's possibly where I've been going so very wrong.....is it too late to say that I loved 'Zootopia'? (it was actually very good!)

"I don't know what you're complaining about. Disney loves ME! As long as I keep blogging positive things about everything Disney-related, I'll keep getting free tickets to stuff!". Ah... that's possibly where I've been going so very wrong.....is it too late to say that I loved 'Zootopia'? (it was actually very good!)

"What's going on?" "Can't say?" "Who's showing up?" "Can't say" "Is there anything you can say?" "Yes...  Leonardo DiCaprio probably isn't showing up" "Why... is he in this movie?" "Can't say"

"What's going on?"
"Can't say?"
"Who's showing up?"
"Can't say"
"Is there anything you can say?"
"Yes...  Leonardo DiCaprio probably isn't showing up"
"Why... is he in this movie?"
"Can't say"

I get the feeling that if I want the kind of access I'd need to take photos at closed / restricted events like this, I should probably befriend somebody like her. That, and possibly not write articles about how I walked out of Disney/Marvel movies like Civil War, and how much I disliked the cowardice of Disney's The Force Awakens.... and generally how much I dislike Disney outside of their animated stuff.

I get the feeling that if I want the kind of access I'd need to take photos at closed / restricted events like this, I should probably befriend somebody like her. That, and possibly not write articles about how I walked out of Disney/Marvel movies like Civil War, and how much I disliked the cowardice of Disney's The Force Awakens.... and generally how much I dislike Disney outside of their animated stuff.

A car pulls up! And out steps...... !!!!!! Nobody related to this movie. It's great drama but with minimal payoff outside the cathartic.

A car pulls up! And out steps...... !!!!!! Nobody related to this movie. It's great drama but with minimal payoff outside the cathartic.

What's actually kind of heartbreaking is that every one of these people are looking and pointing their cameras the wrong way, because everything that is going to happen will happen inside and out of their field of view.

What's actually kind of heartbreaking is that every one of these people are looking and pointing their cameras the wrong way, because everything that is going to happen will happen inside and out of their field of view.

"Just kowtow to the might of Disney's awesomeness already, and you could be in here with us!!" -yeah, I'll keep my dignity for now, thanks.

"Just kowtow to the might of Disney's awesomeness already, and you could be in here with us!!" -yeah, I'll keep my dignity for now, thanks.

So basically, the main reason I stayed where I was in spite of the evidence that the screening had started, and that nobody would be coming, and that they'd closed the doors of the Odeon, was that therewere still professional photographers inside, who while few in number, were still at their posts. Clearly they were convinced it was worth staying, and since they get paid for their work, they were backing their money with their time. In other words, if they weren't moving, I wasn't moving.

And, amazingly, at 7:30pm, there was movement from behind the screening room doors.

There's movement from inside the cinema, the photographers get ready, and out walks : Luke Evans! I last photographed him at the 2017 Baftas a few weeks ago and I have just enough motivation to go onto imdb.com to find out he plays Gaston in the film.

There's movement from inside the cinema, the photographers get ready, and out walks : Luke Evans! I last photographed him at the 2017 Baftas a few weeks ago and I have just enough motivation to go onto imdb.com to find out he plays Gaston in the film.

I'm a pretty big fan of actress Emma Thompson (who I photographed much better at premieres like Walking on Sunshine and Men in Black III), but my spiritual equivalent at this premiere is the lady on the right, whose unimpressed expression pretty much grimly mirrors mine towards Disney right now.

I'm a pretty big fan of actress Emma Thompson (who I photographed much better at premieres like Walking on Sunshine and Men in Black III), but my spiritual equivalent at this premiere is the lady on the right, whose unimpressed expression pretty much grimly mirrors mine towards Disney right now.

The wonderful Ian McKellen joins the throng, but the small space where the full cast is about to assemble is swamped by security, attendants, PAs and generally anyone who can block people from outside getting photos of what's happening inside. It's almost like I'm not supposed to be here (I'm pretty slow at catching onto subtle hints...)

The wonderful Ian McKellen joins the throng, but the small space where the full cast is about to assemble is swamped by security, attendants, PAs and generally anyone who can block people from outside getting photos of what's happening inside. It's almost like I'm not supposed to be here (I'm pretty slow at catching onto subtle hints...)

Bill Condon is probably (still) best known for directing the two concluding halves of the Twilight Breaking Dawn saga, showing that obviously the ability to direct a human girl falling in love with an animal is a good thing to have on your resume.

Bill Condon is probably (still) best known for directing the two concluding halves of the Twilight Breaking Dawn saga, showing that obviously the ability to direct a human girl falling in love with an animal is a good thing to have on your resume.

Emma Watson has appeared, and it seems that the screams from the crowd outside (the vast VAST majority of whom can not even see her) alone are enough to create a concussion wave I'm having difficulting holding my camera steady through.

Emma Watson has appeared, and it seems that the screams from the crowd outside (the vast VAST majority of whom can not even see her) alone are enough to create a concussion wave I'm having difficulting holding my camera steady through.

I don't know who the kid is, and/but talented though he might be, I'm concerned that the entire cast and crew have somewhat folded themselves around Emma Watson in some kind of photography-proof protective cordon. I try to remember that much as it might seem like it, Disney (and by extension the universe) doesn't know enough about me to care enough to hate me, and this is just random bad luck.

I don't know who the kid is, and/but talented though he might be, I'm concerned that the entire cast and crew have somewhat folded themselves around Emma Watson in some kind of photography-proof protective cordon. I try to remember that much as it might seem like it, Disney (and by extension the universe) doesn't know enough about me to care enough to hate me, and this is just random bad luck.

My mind draws a blank as to who this is. I think it's because even when converted into black'n'white, the thin scarf he's wearing is quite magnificent.

My mind draws a blank as to who this is. I think it's because even when converted into black'n'white, the thin scarf he's wearing is quite magnificent.

"Come on! Let's make this photoshoot sexier! I saw posters for Fifty Shades Darker outside!"

"Come on! Let's make this photoshoot sexier! I saw posters for Fifty Shades Darker outside!"

"Protect Belle! At all costs!! Oh, wait I'm the villain this film.... forget her, let's all go for pizza!!"

"Protect Belle! At all costs!! Oh, wait I'm the villain this film.... forget her, let's all go for pizza!!"

"I can run a pretty mean D on all the outdoor photographers, but I'm not handling snipers from elevated positions. I draw the line at that". Ian McKellen, along with being Gandalf across all the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit films, was also in the quirky but enjoyable "Mr Holmes", directed by Bill Condon.

"I can run a pretty mean D on all the outdoor photographers, but I'm not handling snipers from elevated positions. I draw the line at that". Ian McKellen, along with being Gandalf across all the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit films, was also in the quirky but enjoyable "Mr Holmes", directed by Bill Condon.

What do you know. I've snapped Emma Watson. So... you know.... I guess I win... something?

What do you know. I've snapped Emma Watson. So... you know.... I guess I win... something?

There's something about this photo I kind of like. The expression is natural, the pose is natural, the movement around her is frozen nicely.... And I'm going to be repeating my mantra "Blurry, therefore Art" until even I'm fully convinced by my repetition.

There's something about this photo I kind of like. The expression is natural, the pose is natural, the movement around her is frozen nicely.... And I'm going to be repeating my mantra "Blurry, therefore Art" until even I'm fully convinced by my repetition.

I'm also going to claim that high-ISO and staggering amount of shadow recovery necessitated by shooting through glass in low light is an artistic statement. (I sure am glad I've previously photographed Emma Watson at such events as "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows", "My Week With Marilyn" and more recently Darren Aronofsky' "Noah".)

I'm also going to claim that high-ISO and staggering amount of shadow recovery necessitated by shooting through glass in low light is an artistic statement.
(I sure am glad I've previously photographed Emma Watson at such events as "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows", "My Week With Marilyn" and more recently Darren Aronofsky' "Noah".)

"I like the dress..... it's not for sale?"

"I like the dress..... it's not for sale?"

"Where did the rest of the cast suddenly go? Did I hear somebody say they were going for Pizza??"

"Where did the rest of the cast suddenly go? Did I hear somebody say they were going for Pizza??"

Whenever a beautiful actress and I make eye-contact, I usually imply that the camera between us is somehow not present, and the memory of an intimate moment shared between us somehow turns up as a photo. But this look between Emma Watson and I suggests that if we're ever crossing paths in a dark alleyway, I should be very concerned.

Whenever a beautiful actress and I make eye-contact, I usually imply that the camera between us is somehow not present, and the memory of an intimate moment shared between us somehow turns up as a photo. But this look between Emma Watson and I suggests that if we're ever crossing paths in a dark alleyway, I should be very concerned.

I really like this photo. Forgetting all the people in the way and spoiling the background... this is a good shot. Everything about the moment is right, and it's only everything about the event, the and the circumstances that is wrong. (I might disable comments in this journal just to ensure no dissenting views are posted!)

I really like this photo. Forgetting all the people in the way and spoiling the background... this is a good shot. Everything about the moment is right, and it's only everything about the event, the and the circumstances that is wrong. (I might disable comments in this journal just to ensure no dissenting views are posted!)

Why sure, Disney. I'd love to give you more of my money in exchange for you remaking your own movies with slight variations.

Why sure, Disney. I'd love to give you more of my money in exchange for you remaking your own movies with slight variations.

So... that was that. I came away with something, but I also came away with having seen yet another event that showcased the huge gulf between the multibillion dollar all-encompassing business side of Disney and the part where they actually want to celebrate their releases with fans. To clarify, I'm not for one moment saying Disney *owes* fans a premiere. It doesn't. But if it's flying everyone to London, putting them up at hotels, driving them to cinemas to introduce the movie, and having them photographed in the foyer.... but STILL NOT having a premiere, then it seems very clear that the one ingredient that Disney does not want to have access to what's going on is anyone who is non-paying, non-competition-winning, non-blogging, and not directly-promoting, person with no benefit to Disney.

So if you're not helping to fuel that, then you're not really welcome**.

But hey, I'm just some whiny guy. I got a couple of photos for my Archive of Movie Premieres. I didn't lose out too much.

Until next time!!

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** final thoughts : it's very hard to write something opinionated, at length, at close to midnight, when I've been up since 5am, and knowing I have to be up at 5am again tomorrow. The only way I can do it is because I care : not (just) about premieres, but about movies. I watched over 1 movie per day last year (!) and am more or less on track to do it again. I love film, and being able to take photographs at premieres is an amazing thing I get to do. And/but when I see a company the size of DISNEY, with their power and their wealth and their all-encompassing cultural ownership, kind of shrug at fans because the accountants are counting the thousands of dollars of cost among the BILLIONS of dollars in revenue that the company makes, it reinforces to me the suspicion that the divide between the Art of Film and the Business of Show is growing very much wider. And that's not a good thing. Rant out. Peace.

21 Feb - The 'Viceroy's House' Premiere

February 21st, 2017.

With the left side of my mouth still mostly numb following a 2hr long dental procedure (don't ask....) hours before, somehow the idea of heading down to Curzon Mayfair immediately afterwards still didn't seem entirely crazy. But then I am who I and I do what I do... and anyway, it was either this or see what the fifth and final day of London Fashion Week 2017AW had to offer..

Here's how it went down:

As previously noted (and posted about for the last four days) London Fashion Week is on right now. So just for now I'm actually noticing little things like miniature pompoms hanging off the bottom of trousers worn under a dress/jacket.

As previously noted (and posted about for the last four days) London Fashion Week is on right now. So just for now I'm actually noticing little things like miniature pompoms hanging off the bottom of trousers worn under a dress/jacket.

The Curzon Mayfair can be quite the tricky and unpleasant venue to photograph premieres, but when they close down the street and lay down a red carpet, it's much more pleasant even if a whole bunch of white vans and taxis need to find another shortcut through Mayfair, and the presence and questionable hygiene of autograph dealers threaten property values for people living in the area.

The Curzon Mayfair can be quite the tricky and unpleasant venue to photograph premieres, but when they close down the street and lay down a red carpet, it's much more pleasant even if a whole bunch of white vans and taxis need to find another shortcut through Mayfair, and the presence and questionable hygiene of autograph dealers threaten property values for people living in the area.

"You've heard of Downton Abbey? From the stuff you've brought to get signed and your general deameanour I wouldn't have picked you all as the types" - Hugh Bonneville is right insofar as I'm concerned. I haven't gotten around to watching it yet, and it's been on since 2010.

"You've heard of Downton Abbey? From the stuff you've brought to get signed and your general deameanour I wouldn't have picked you all as the types" - Hugh Bonneville is right insofar as I'm concerned. I haven't gotten around to watching it yet, and it's been on since 2010.

"You should watch it. It's great. Also this movie, I should add, which I'm here to promote". Hugh Bonneville was also in such movies (and premieres) as "The Monuments Men" and "Paddington"

"You should watch it. It's great. Also this movie, I should add, which I'm here to promote". Hugh Bonneville was also in such movies (and premieres) as "The Monuments Men" and "Paddington"

"Sorry about that. Ever since I turned my phone to silent mode, the ringtone has switched to a blazing inferno of light. Or I've inherited magic. I hope it's magic."

"Sorry about that. Ever since I turned my phone to silent mode, the ringtone has switched to a blazing inferno of light. Or I've inherited magic. I hope it's magic."

"You sould take some photos of the scaffolding work on our right, too. It's exquisite"

"You sould take some photos of the scaffolding work on our right, too. It's exquisite"

The look of somebody who just realised that the somebody who owes somebody five dollars might actually have shown up at this premiere. (Gurinder Chadha directed this movie, and is probably still best known for directing a young Keira Knightley in 'Bend it like Beckham' in 2002)

The look of somebody who just realised that the somebody who owes somebody five dollars might actually have shown up at this premiere. (Gurinder Chadha directed this movie, and is probably still best known for directing a young Keira Knightley in 'Bend it like Beckham' in 2002)

"OMG - he is GORGEOUS. Wait.... did I say that out loud?" "Yes, ma'am" "Excellent. And is his girlfriend within earshot?" "Yes, ma'am" "Excellent"

"OMG - he is GORGEOUS. Wait.... did I say that out loud?"
"Yes, ma'am"
"Excellent. And is his girlfriend within earshot?"
"Yes, ma'am"
"Excellent"

"She says you're gorgeous. You gotta leverage that, bruv" Manish Dayal is in this movie, and was also the male lead opposite Helen Mirren in "The Hundred Foot Journey" which I thought was a very enjoyable movie.

"She says you're gorgeous. You gotta leverage that, bruv"
Manish Dayal is in this movie, and was also the male lead opposite Helen Mirren in "The Hundred Foot Journey" which I thought was a very enjoyable movie.

"You think I'm pretty? Well, I think you're... uh.... well, you're here so you're obviously punctual?" - Lily Travers is in this film, and was also in (but possibly not at the premiere of) "Kingsman : The Secret Service", and in (as well as at the premiere of) "Me Before You" at this same location last year.

"You think I'm pretty? Well, I think you're... uh.... well, you're here so you're obviously punctual?" - Lily Travers is in this film, and was also in (but possibly not at the premiere of) "Kingsman : The Secret Service", and in (as well as at the premiere of) "Me Before You" at this same location last year.

Actress Huma Qureshi's imbd film credits sounds like a delicious buffet of movie's I've never heard of, let alone seen, including: "Jolly LLB 2", "Highway Ek Selfie Aarpar", "X : Past is Present" and "Luv Shuv Tey Chicken Khurana"

Actress Huma Qureshi's imbd film credits sounds like a delicious buffet of movie's I've never heard of, let alone seen, including: "Jolly LLB 2", "Highway Ek Selfie Aarpar", "X : Past is Present" and "Luv Shuv Tey Chicken Khurana"

It took me about three times looking at this image before I realised Huma Qureshi's arm isn't actually that long and her hands not actually that big, and she's not patting some dude in the crowd on the head.

It took me about three times looking at this image before I realised Huma Qureshi's arm isn't actually that long and her hands not actually that big, and she's not patting some dude in the crowd on the head.

"No, I'm just an assistant : I can't sign autographs while on duty. I have been deputised to sign as Huma Qureshi, though. It's a completely different signature, mind you...."

"No, I'm just an assistant : I can't sign autographs while on duty. I have been deputised to sign as Huma Qureshi, though. It's a completely different signature, mind you...."

"You're right. Even I find my cheeky smile delightful. This selfie is really with the guy behind us, by the way."

"You're right. Even I find my cheeky smile delightful. This selfie is really with the guy behind us, by the way."

"Insouciant? I don't even know the meaning of the word". Meanwhile, I can't say with 100% certainty whose finger is pointing (vaguely) in my direction : hers or his.

"Insouciant? I don't even know the meaning of the word". Meanwhile, I can't say with 100% certainty whose finger is pointing (vaguely) in my direction : hers or his.

"We gotta keep up this mirroring thing we've got going. It's crazy-effective" - the man on the right is Darshan Jariwala, while the man on the left presumably works locally and is not a twin/double.

"We gotta keep up this mirroring thing we've got going. It's crazy-effective" - the man on the right is Darshan Jariwala, while the man on the left presumably works locally and is not a twin/double.

"You with the camera up top. Either your lens cap is on or your autofocus isn't working" - Gillian Anderson was the main drawcard for dealers at this event - she was in The X-Files and (for example) Johnny English Reborn, both of whose premieres she attended.

"You with the camera up top. Either your lens cap is on or your autofocus isn't working" - Gillian Anderson was the main drawcard for dealers at this event - she was in The X-Files and (for example) Johnny English Reborn, both of whose premieres she attended.

"If you drew that portrait of me, I'm impressed. If it's a random stick-figure instead... then I'm slightly less impressed"

"If you drew that portrait of me, I'm impressed. If it's a random stick-figure instead... then I'm slightly less impressed"

Girl at Right : "I'm not going to take your photo... I'm going to record this moment with my eyes and store it organically in memory and never forget it". For now, it's safer and less likely to be hacked into than your average cloud storage service.

Girl at Right : "I'm not going to take your photo... I'm going to record this moment with my eyes and store it organically in memory and never forget it". For now, it's safer and less likely to be hacked into than your average cloud storage service.

"Is there any direction I can turn where I won't be faced by strangeness?" - well, my face only looks like that because of the residual anaesthetic. But no, not really.

"Is there any direction I can turn where I won't be faced by strangeness?" - well, my face only looks like that because of the residual anaesthetic. But no, not really.

"You're photographing the scaffolding instead of me -- did Hugh put you up to that??"

"You're photographing the scaffolding instead of me -- did Hugh put you up to that??"

"I say let's leave it there and call it "art" " - I don't know who this is, but I like her style.

"I say let's leave it there and call it "art" " - I don't know who this is, but I like her style.

"Your shoulders are broad enough to block decent photographic deals, but I'm quite taken by them". Still don't know who she is, and/but annoyed by who he is.

"Your shoulders are broad enough to block decent photographic deals, but I'm quite taken by them". Still don't know who she is, and/but annoyed by who he is.

"It's actually not a scarf. It's an oversize novelty tie that I didn't have time to properly assemble, so I ran with it.... and here I am.". It's London Fashion Week. I'll take 500 in all colours.

"It's actually not a scarf. It's an oversize novelty tie that I didn't have time to properly assemble, so I ran with it.... and here I am.". It's London Fashion Week. I'll take 500 in all colours.

"I know it's been around for decades, but that Minesweeper game sure is addictive..."

"I know it's been around for decades, but that Minesweeper game sure is addictive..."

So... that was that. Premieres on either side of four consecutive days of London Fashion week, and there are two more scheduled next week (and another dentist visit in a fortnight, in case you're interested). And of course it's another entry for the Archive of Movie Premieres, too.

Until next time!

ps. If you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter (@berndt2_photo), or on facebook (premieresdotco).

 

16 Feb - The 'The Lost City of Z' Premiere

February 16th, 2017.

After no premieres in the first four (five?) weeks since I've been back in London, I'm now at 2 premieres, the Baftas and Elle Style Awards, and London Fashion Week Starts tomorrow. Plus I arguably have a 9(ish)-to-5(ish) job which has nothing to do with photography. I'd like to add that I'm also simultaneously dating multiple models, but that sentence would be conspicuously more untrue than the other two.

Still... what's that? A premiere at the British Museum? Sign me up for that. Here's how it went down:

It's the British Museum, holder of a whole bunch of other peoples' stuff from a time before laws banning people from stealing other peoples' stuff were signed but crucially not made retrospective!! (honestly, thoug - it's a great museum)

It's the British Museum, holder of a whole bunch of other peoples' stuff from a time before laws banning people from stealing other peoples' stuff were signed but crucially not made retrospective!! (honestly, thoug - it's a great museum)

"Wait... I don't want to panic anyone, but is this movie called 'The Lost City of N'? Because if it's not then I might have some bad news...."

"Wait... I don't want to panic anyone, but is this movie called 'The Lost City of N'? Because if it's not then I might have some bad news...."

Our first arrival is Charlie Hunnam, best known for the show Sons of Anarchy, or/but because I don't really watch TV, Guillermo Del Toro's "Pacific Rim". Weirdly, after that premiere back in 2013 I had to rush off for an appointment.... at the British Museum where this premiere is.

Our first arrival is Charlie Hunnam, best known for the show Sons of Anarchy, or/but because I don't really watch TV, Guillermo Del Toro's "Pacific Rim". Weirdly, after that premiere back in 2013 I had to rush off for an appointment.... at the British Museum where this premiere is.

I would like you to know that I'm currently standing in the front row of a pen and both of my hands are holding the camera while this is going on.

I would like you to know that I'm currently standing in the front row of a pen and both of my hands are holding the camera while this is going on.

"I'm not sure why you need my bank details, but okay...."

"I'm not sure why you need my bank details, but okay...."

Our next arrival is actress Sienna Miller, who I missed photographing earlier this year as I missed the premiere of "Live By Night", but I have previously photographed at the premieres of "Burnt (2015)", "High-Rise (2015)" and "Foxcatcher (2014)"

Our next arrival is actress Sienna Miller, who I missed photographing earlier this year as I missed the premiere of "Live By Night", but I have previously photographed at the premieres of "Burnt (2015)", "High-Rise (2015)" and "Foxcatcher (2014)"

"And just think.... I'm signing a photo of me while somebody else is taking a photo of me signing a photo of me. And when that's done, you're going to sell that signed photo of me and the Paparazzi are going to sell a photo of me signing the photo of me that you're going to sell". I, meanwhile am still puzzling over how to monetise this website without running ads, and my best bet is that Disney will buy it so that I stop insulting Marvel and Star Wars....

"And just think.... I'm signing a photo of me while somebody else is taking a photo of me signing a photo of me. And when that's done, you're going to sell that signed photo of me and the Paparazzi are going to sell a photo of me signing the photo of me that you're going to sell". I, meanwhile am still puzzling over how to monetise this website without running ads, and my best bet is that Disney will buy it so that I stop insulting Marvel and Star Wars....

I last photographed actor Tom Holland at the 2017 Baftas on Sunday, and now here I am a few days later, losing a staredown with the guy.

I last photographed actor Tom Holland at the 2017 Baftas on Sunday, and now here I am a few days later, losing a staredown with the guy.

Tom Holland's attendance at this premiere was so unexpected that the autograph dealers right next to me, who are all exceedingly good at what they do, were entirely without anything Spider-Man related for him to sign because he wasn't meant to be there. I'd feel bad for them if they were nicer people.

Tom Holland's attendance at this premiere was so unexpected that the autograph dealers right next to me, who are all exceedingly good at what they do, were entirely without anything Spider-Man related for him to sign because he wasn't meant to be there. I'd feel bad for them if they were nicer people.

Reporter at right : "I think he's trying to avoid me, gentle viewers, but my plan is to get Sienna Miller to crash-tackle him to the ground." It's an as-yet not fully formed plan, but it will be spectacular if it comes off"

Reporter at right : "I think he's trying to avoid me, gentle viewers, but my plan is to get Sienna Miller to crash-tackle him to the ground." It's an as-yet not fully formed plan, but it will be spectacular if it comes off"

Sienna Miller might be too busy admiring Charlie Hunnam to crash-tackle Tom Holland.

Sienna Miller might be too busy admiring Charlie Hunnam to crash-tackle Tom Holland.

"I'm sorry sir but we can't allow your son to see the degree of worshipful fawning over Charlie Hunnam that's taking place at this event...." -Director James Gray has arrived and pretty accurately scoped out the mood of the premiere.

"I'm sorry sir but we can't allow your son to see the degree of worshipful fawning over Charlie Hunnam that's taking place at this event...." -Director James Gray has arrived and pretty accurately scoped out the mood of the premiere.

"I'd like nothing more than grab Charlie Hunnam and put him right in front of you, but I just can't. And I said that to my wife several times while filming this movie, too"

"I'd like nothing more than grab Charlie Hunnam and put him right in front of you, but I just can't. And I said that to my wife several times while filming this movie, too"

"OMG - I was in those movies, wasn't I?" - Robert Pattinson, also sometimes known as R-Patz, is arguably best known for being in the first and last twilight movies (well played, imdb.com) - but also as Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

"OMG - I was in those movies, wasn't I?" - Robert Pattinson, also sometimes known as R-Patz, is arguably best known for being in the first and last twilight movies (well played, imdb.com) - but also as Cedric Diggory in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

"Whatever happened to whatsername? I don't know, and I have no idea who you're talking about. You want me to sign this or not?"

"Whatever happened to whatsername? I don't know, and I have no idea who you're talking about. You want me to sign this or not?"

Proof of the universe's inherent unfairness : (1) the d1ckheads at my privatised train franchise took 1hr to get me home in a journey that takes barely 20mins to do; and (2) of all the people I get this close to take this kind of photo of, it's R-Patz and not (say) Charlize Theron, Scarlett Johansson, or Emma Stone.

Proof of the universe's inherent unfairness : (1) the d1ckheads at my privatised train franchise took 1hr to get me home in a journey that takes barely 20mins to do; and (2) of all the people I get this close to take this kind of photo of, it's R-Patz and not (say) Charlize Theron, Scarlett Johansson, or Emma Stone.

Sienna Miller seems unaccoutably happy that it's R-Patz and I that have made a connection. Well, that makes one of us.

Sienna Miller seems unaccoutably happy that it's R-Patz and I that have made a connection. Well, that makes one of us.

"It's okay, dude. You don't have to match my expression. I intend to photoshop R-Patz digitally into your place and my expresion will make a whole lot of sense then"

"It's okay, dude. You don't have to match my expression. I intend to photoshop R-Patz digitally into your place and my expresion will make a whole lot of sense then"

Actor Harry Melling is actually in this movie, and is even better known for playing the role of Dudley Dursley across five Harry Potter films.

Actor Harry Melling is actually in this movie, and is even better known for playing the role of Dudley Dursley across five Harry Potter films.

"OMG you're even taller than the other guy!!"

"OMG you're even taller than the other guy!!"

"And then my agent said "No, Charlie, it's NOT a Zombie movie in spite of what the title implies. I was still going to get paid, but I wasn't going to be using a chainsaw or shotgun". Charlie Hunnam puts on a brave face.

"And then my agent said "No, Charlie, it's NOT a Zombie movie in spite of what the title implies. I was still going to get paid, but I wasn't going to be using a chainsaw or shotgun". Charlie Hunnam puts on a brave face.

"This will only go on the flag of our new Republic if we all look ahead into the optimistic future, Sienna...."

"This will only go on the flag of our new Republic if we all look ahead into the optimistic future, Sienna...."

Once again, a connection between R-Patz, and the only emotion in play is Charlie Hunnam being unaccountably jealous. If I'm going wrong somewhere in the vibes I send out, somebody needs to tell me precisely what I need to do to reverse those.

Once again, a connection between R-Patz, and the only emotion in play is Charlie Hunnam being unaccountably jealous. If I'm going wrong somewhere in the vibes I send out, somebody needs to tell me precisely what I need to do to reverse those.

"Hey - you were in that awesome movie about fighting robots!!" "No, that was Real Steel. I was in the fairly good movie about fighting robots." A late, and seemingly random attendee : Rami Malek, of Mr Robot fame.

"Hey - you were in that awesome movie about fighting robots!!"
"No, that was Real Steel. I was in the fairly good movie about fighting robots."

A late, and seemingly random attendee : Rami Malek, of Mr Robot fame.

"Sure I could sign what you're holding, but the look on my face says perhaps I won't"

"Sure I could sign what you're holding, but the look on my face says perhaps I won't"

"Anybody want this pen? I've been using it to sign Tom Holland's autograph all evening"

"Anybody want this pen? I've been using it to sign Tom Holland's autograph all evening"

"We searched their bags going IN, but shouldn't we be searching them on the way OUR? You know, in case someone stole that huge Easter Island statue they got in there?"

"We searched their bags going IN, but shouldn't we be searching them on the way OUR? You know, in case someone stole that huge Easter Island statue they got in there?"

And so... that was rather fun. Apparently it's based on a true story, doesn't feature zombies, and there's scope for at least 25 prequels based on letters of the alphabet not yet appended to cities.... so that's nice. I for one will now head back to the office, pick up my work stuff and get to the train station to find that my train has been cancelled, and the next one delayed by 20mins. If you live in a city or country that hasn't privatised its railways yet, I would advise issuing credible threats of violence against politicians that are greater than or at least equal in scope to the dumptrucks filled with cash and false assurances of competence provided by commercial organisations. But that's a side-note. For now this premiere means I can put another entry into the Archive of Movie Premieres, and that's not a bad thing.

Until next time!

ps. if you want to find out whenever I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or on twitter at berndt2_photo. And if you're a rail company apologising for the inconvenience, feel free to use the same pre-recorded pre-programmed robotic woman that your f**king predecessors also used. It feels really genuine in a way that only paying somebody else to apologise on your behalf possibly can be.

09 Feb - The 'Fifty Shades Darker' Premiere

February 9th, 2017.

It's my first premiere of 2017, and my first premiere since the 5h1t-fest that was Disney's fan-inclusive event to promote Rogue One last year. And today my mood at the thought of doing this for another year took an immediate hit at the realisation that the same security that defend democracy and/or Tom Cruise at events has still not managed to deal with the stress of counting with whole numbers when it came to giving out wristbands.

In other words, welcome to 2017. Here's how the first premiere of the year went... erm...down.

I'll give the organisers of this premiere one bit of early kudos : Grey Wristbands. Appropriate.

I'll give the organisers of this premiere one bit of early kudos : Grey Wristbands. Appropriate.

When I did the journal for the first Fifty Shades of Grey premiere, I prided myself on making the images slightly desaturated and blue-tinged. With this one being 'Darker' I'm not sure whether I can push that aesthetic and still have a legible premiere.

When I did the journal for the first Fifty Shades of Grey premiere, I prided myself on making the images slightly desaturated and blue-tinged. With this one being 'Darker' I'm not sure whether I can push that aesthetic and still have a legible premiere.

In other words, if you thought the wristband methodology of this event was bad, wait'll you see what they're doing with wristbands for The Baftas this weekend....

In other words, if you thought the wristband methodology of this event was bad, wait'll you see what they're doing with wristbands for The Baftas this weekend....

Fifty Shades fans. Feel the love. (the temperature at this premiere was approximately zero degrees celsius with occasional mild sleet)

Fifty Shades fans. Feel the love.
(the temperature at this premiere was approximately zero degrees celsius with occasional mild sleet)

"Hang on Jerry. I think this is what the kids look like when they're feeling ecstatic these days.... let me get a few more shots for the highlights package...."

"Hang on Jerry. I think this is what the kids look like when they're feeling ecstatic these days.... let me get a few more shots for the highlights package...."

Good news for fans of cool rhymez, beatz and freeness(z) - your friend and mine Hakeem Mr Impact and DJ "I got 99 shades but grey ain't one" presided over the warmup segment of this premiere. He might have rhymed "in the air" with "like you just don't care" but maybe this was his first event of the year too.

Good news for fans of cool rhymez, beatz and freeness(z) - your friend and mine Hakeem Mr Impact and DJ "I got 99 shades but grey ain't one" presided over the warmup segment of this premiere. He might have rhymed "in the air" with "like you just don't care" but maybe this was his first event of the year too.

"I think he might have also rhymed "World" with "Girl". Is there somebody we can file a complaint with?"

"I think he might have also rhymed "World" with "Girl". Is there somebody we can file a complaint with?"

"And you're absolutely sure it's meant to be making that humming noise??" our first arrival is director James Foley, who is arguably (still) best known for directing Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)

"And you're absolutely sure it's meant to be making that humming noise??" our first arrival is director James Foley, who is arguably (still) best known for directing Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)

"I'm not saying it's cold, but I am saying I know what Dakota planned to wear to this event and I'm now not sure that's advisable" - I myself am wearing a glamorous ensemble of four different upper thermal layers, two lower layers and a thermal beanie. But no gloves. 'Cause I'm hardcore.

"I'm not saying it's cold, but I am saying I know what Dakota planned to wear to this event and I'm now not sure that's advisable" - I myself am wearing a glamorous ensemble of four different upper thermal layers, two lower layers and a thermal beanie. But no gloves. 'Cause I'm hardcore.

I don't know who this is, but the three very different expressions on the faces of the people behind me make me even more intrigued than I'd normally be.

I don't know who this is, but the three very different expressions on the faces of the people behind me make me even more intrigued than I'd normally be.

"What is the meaning of THIS!!?" I'm slightly less insulted by this affront to decency than that Fifty Shades of Grey actually did well enough at the box office to garner a sequel. I did end up ultimately watching it and was surprised at how unexpectedly boring it was for most of its runtime.

"What is the meaning of THIS!!?" I'm slightly less insulted by this affront to decency than that Fifty Shades of Grey actually did well enough at the box office to garner a sequel. I did end up ultimately watching it and was surprised at how unexpectedly boring it was for most of its runtime.

"The movie hasn't even been released yet - how do you have it on your phone already??" Oh, wait. That's the trailer on youtube.

"The movie hasn't even been released yet - how do you have it on your phone already??" Oh, wait. That's the trailer on youtube.

Rita Ora is in this movie, but sadly elected not to linger (or do an on-carpet interview) in the area. In her defence, those water droplets hovering in the air come in at about zero degrees celsius. In the defence of fans and the studio, she is meant to be promoting a movie (I'm doing MY bit)

Rita Ora is in this movie, but sadly elected not to linger (or do an on-carpet interview) in the area. In her defence, those water droplets hovering in the air come in at about zero degrees celsius. In the defence of fans and the studio, she is meant to be promoting a movie (I'm doing MY bit)

"Wait. Is nobody photographing me because I'm wearing too many layers? Do I need to take off more layers??"

"Wait. Is nobody photographing me because I'm wearing too many layers? Do I need to take off more layers??"

Author E.L.James famously wrote a piece of erotic Twilight Fanfiction and did a last-minute find-and-replace to turn it into a non-copyright-contravening bestseller that has now been turned into two (soon to be three) movies. I meanwhile have struggled to leverage many of my finer bits of Excel Modelling into a similar mathematical empire, but I remain hopeful.

Author E.L.James famously wrote a piece of erotic Twilight Fanfiction and did a last-minute find-and-replace to turn it into a non-copyright-contravening bestseller that has now been turned into two (soon to be three) movies. I meanwhile have struggled to leverage many of my finer bits of Excel Modelling into a similar mathematical empire, but I remain hopeful.

It's not so much people on the red carpet blocking shots of stars that I mind (though I do mind that in this case it's Dakota Johnson) it's when they're doing it becauase they're distracted by their freaking mobile phones. Hey, a55holes : your friends' instagram pictures of dinner will be just as boring if you look at them once you're seated or driving home....

It's not so much people on the red carpet blocking shots of stars that I mind (though I do mind that in this case it's Dakota Johnson) it's when they're doing it becauase they're distracted by their freaking mobile phones. Hey, a55holes : your friends' instagram pictures of dinner will be just as boring if you look at them once you're seated or driving home....

Jamie Dornan, the male lead and titular "Grey" in "Fifty Shades of..." is currently too busy to register the pitch and gist of your particular screams of fandom, ladies, but he might get around to it later if he has a chance.

Jamie Dornan, the male lead and titular "Grey" in "Fifty Shades of..." is currently too busy to register the pitch and gist of your particular screams of fandom, ladies, but he might get around to it later if he has a chance.

Meanwhile, author E.L.James is signing in our area and a lot of the members of the fairer sex I'm surrounded by turn out to be a little bit more violently inclined than I'd expected.

Meanwhile, author E.L.James is signing in our area and a lot of the members of the fairer sex I'm surrounded by turn out to be a little bit more violently inclined than I'd expected.

"No, you can't just take one of my stories and do a find-and-replace to turn it into a zombie romance. That's cheating!!"

"No, you can't just take one of my stories and do a find-and-replace to turn it into a zombie romance. That's cheating!!"

"Would it be creepy if I said I loved how that one strand of hair hangs down the left side of your cheek so eloquently and how I wish I had hair like that?" "Ummm... probably. Want me to sign this?"

"Would it be creepy if I said I loved how that one strand of hair hangs down the left side of your cheek so eloquently and how I wish I had hair like that?"
"Ummm... probably. Want me to sign this?"

Despite the best efforts of the people around me to all simultaneously jump up and hold up their mobile phones at once, I manage to take a proper photo of Dakota Johnson. I last (sort of) managed that feat at last year's premiere for 'How To Be Single'

Despite the best efforts of the people around me to all simultaneously jump up and hold up their mobile phones at once, I manage to take a proper photo of Dakota Johnson. I last (sort of) managed that feat at last year's premiere for 'How To Be Single'

"I still haven't told my parents I'm in these films. They think it's Dakota Fanning...."

"I still haven't told my parents I'm in these films. They think it's Dakota Fanning...."

Although they could as easily be hieroglyphs, cyrillic or a radical new numbering system being devised by Security for upcoming premieres, it seems that the tattoo on the back of Dakota Johnson's neck reads "bmor". Not sure that's helpful, but you're welcome.

Although they could as easily be hieroglyphs, cyrillic or a radical new numbering system being devised by Security for upcoming premieres, it seems that the tattoo on the back of Dakota Johnson's neck reads "bmor". Not sure that's helpful, but you're welcome.

"I suppose I could sign one or two things since you're all asking so loudly and threateningly in a way that symbolises your amazingly enthusiastic love for this series..."

"I suppose I could sign one or two things since you're all asking so loudly and threateningly in a way that symbolises your amazingly enthusiastic love for this series..."

Pentax 31mm f1.8. The Nikon is my premiere mainstay camera and takes 90%+ of the photos at premieres. But every now and then the portrait lens on the 'other' camera nails one. It's mostly a probability thing

Pentax 31mm f1.8. The Nikon is my premiere mainstay camera and takes 90%+ of the photos at premieres. But every now and then the portrait lens on the 'other' camera nails one. It's mostly a probability thing

"One of them touched me, Lisa. Can we have them deported or something?"

"One of them touched me, Lisa. Can we have them deported or something?"

"And then you were like, OMG... Actually, I guess I should pretend I haven't seen you naked in these films.... How are you, by the way?"

"And then you were like, OMG... Actually, I guess I should pretend I haven't seen you naked in these films.... How are you, by the way?"

"Sorry about the beard, ladies. But as you'll appreciate it's cold out". I myself last shaved on Tueday for much the same reason, and I guess I feel compelled to also apologise to The Ladiez.

"Sorry about the beard, ladies. But as you'll appreciate it's cold out". I myself last shaved on Tueday for much the same reason, and I guess I feel compelled to also apologise to The Ladiez.

"You should definitely watch this movie on Valentines Day. Or failing that, Easter. Or failing that... pick any special day, or not-so-special day. Basically as long as you're buying a ticket I/we don't care all that much"

"You should definitely watch this movie on Valentines Day. Or failing that, Easter. Or failing that... pick any special day, or not-so-special day. Basically as long as you're buying a ticket I/we don't care all that much"

"Does your mobile phone have shake reduction, low-light noise reduction and a flash capable of working at that distance? Well... good luck I suppose."

"Does your mobile phone have shake reduction, low-light noise reduction and a flash capable of working at that distance? Well... good luck I suppose."

So... that was that. First premiere back, my first new entry into the Archive of Movie Premieres right next to the journal for the original "Fifty Shades of Grey" premiere, and regardless of how it is, it'll be my one practice round before the most important (?) event of the year - the 2017 Baftas - this weekend. Holy crap, every year I get to the queue earlier and get a worse number than the year before.

Pray for me.

Until next time!

ps. If you want to know whenever I post and/or whine in a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on either Facebook (at premieresdotco) or Twitter (at berndt2_photo). You can also comment below, tell all your friends about me, or just generally be a nice person if you want. I won't judge.