12 May - The "Interlude in Prague" "World Premiere"

May 12th, 2017.

The thing about World Premieres is that there's no governing body that decrees that a film premiere is, or isn't, or can, or can't be, a World Premiere. Anything can be a world premiere. Take for example this movie's World Premiere : it wasn't publicised in the Metro, it wasn't listed in any of the four or five websites that usually list London's premieres; there were no barriers and no wristbands; and per wireimage none of the three biggest names on the cast list (including the guy who plays Mozart in a movie starring Mozart) or the Director attended. But it still counts as a World Premiere.

And I was there. Here's how it went down.

Rolled up red carpet. (Not to scale).

Rolled up red carpet. (Not to scale).

"Interlude in Prague". If it does well, rumours are they're planning a prequel movie to this one called "Opening Credits in Crete". Because I hear the weather is awesome there.

"Interlude in Prague". If it does well, rumours are they're planning a prequel movie to this one called "Opening Credits in Crete". Because I hear the weather is awesome there.

The red carpet has (now) been unfurled and a security system the likes of which the Pentagon would sit up and take notice of is starting to be implemented, involving roped barriers, doors occasionally left open and unattended, and That Guy. As these things go, it's slightly more lax than yesterday's King Arthur : Legend of the Sword premiere, which had bag checks and actual physical patdowns

The red carpet has (now) been unfurled and a security system the likes of which the Pentagon would sit up and take notice of is starting to be implemented, involving roped barriers, doors occasionally left open and unattended, and That Guy. As these things go, it's slightly more lax than yesterday's King Arthur : Legend of the Sword premiere, which had bag checks and actual physical patdowns

I suspect that the tickets to this event are laser-etched, hologram-infused and contain security features the likes of which polymer banknotes and dual-metal coins can only dream. But you can also print them out in black'n'white on your inkjet printer at home if you want.

I suspect that the tickets to this event are laser-etched, hologram-infused and contain security features the likes of which polymer banknotes and dual-metal coins can only dream. But you can also print them out in black'n'white on your inkjet printer at home if you want.

Rather optimistically, I've found a spot that will allow me to take photos of the inside of the cinema foyer where all the action (and Ben & Jerry's Icecream) are located.

Rather optimistically, I've found a spot that will allow me to take photos of the inside of the cinema foyer where all the action (and Ben & Jerry's Icecream) are located.

Rather optimistically, I also assume that if any guest worth photographing attends this event, they'll be pretty easy to spot in the crowd that's carefully being channeled into the venue.

Rather optimistically, I also assume that if any guest worth photographing attends this event, they'll be pretty easy to spot in the crowd that's carefully being channeled into the venue.

It's rather fitting that my ultimate standby strategy of 'photograph women who are better looking than average, or carry the vibe of 'I'm Meant To Be Here'', (or both) actually works in this case : turns out that this is actress Charlotte Peters, and she's in this movie!

It's rather fitting that my ultimate standby strategy of 'photograph women who are better looking than average, or carry the vibe of 'I'm Meant To Be Here'', (or both) actually works in this case : turns out that this is actress Charlotte Peters, and she's in this movie!

I'll concede that this would be a slightly weird photo if it didn't turn out to be one of the cast members of this movie. But the alternative to this kind of speculative photography would be.... well... to go home and rethink my life. And where's the fun in that?

I'll concede that this would be a slightly weird photo if it didn't turn out to be one of the cast members of this movie. But the alternative to this kind of speculative photography would be.... well... to go home and rethink my life. And where's the fun in that?

Quick note : I have a policy that if you don't give me basic access to your premiere, then I'm not helping you advertise your alcohol sponsors. For this reason I've taken the time to remove references to the bourbon and gin that sponsor this film from the back wall Ms Peters is posing against. (Incidentally, I'm enjoying a rather spectacular Estonian Vodka while I'm writing this.)

Quick note : I have a policy that if you don't give me basic access to your premiere, then I'm not helping you advertise your alcohol sponsors. For this reason I've taken the time to remove references to the bourbon and gin that sponsor this film from the back wall Ms Peters is posing against. (Incidentally, I'm enjoying a rather spectacular Estonian Vodka while I'm writing this.)

Although I don't actually know who 'Wayne Sleep' is, he was photographed (and tagged) on wireimage.com. But per imdb he has nothing to do with this movie at a cast/crew level. And I do particularly like the semi-orgasmic face of the reflection of the women on the top left of this shot. It's pretty clear she knows and appreciates who Wayne Sleep is.

Although I don't actually know who 'Wayne Sleep' is, he was photographed (and tagged) on wireimage.com. But per imdb he has nothing to do with this movie at a cast/crew level. And I do particularly like the semi-orgasmic face of the reflection of the women on the top left of this shot. It's pretty clear she knows and appreciates who Wayne Sleep is.

"What's going on?" "World Premiere" "For what movie?" "I'd have to look up and to the left to see what's on the screen, but that's more effort than I'm willing to expend right now"

"What's going on?"
"World Premiere"
"For what movie?"
"I'd have to look up and to the left to see what's on the screen, but that's more effort than I'm willing to expend right now"

The face of this man looks at me and says : "Young man, why are you wasting the last vestiges of the youth you still have photographing this event; and don't you think you should wear a bow tie more often?" And it grieves me that I have nothing to say in reply to the face of that man.

The face of this man looks at me and says : "Young man, why are you wasting the last vestiges of the youth you still have photographing this event; and don't you think you should wear a bow tie more often?" And it grieves me that I have nothing to say in reply to the face of that man.

The face of this guy looks at me and says "Hey grandpa, what are you doing here instead of eating porridge at home?". And it grieves me that I'm not allowed to punch the face of that guy, if that is indeed what it said.

The face of this guy looks at me and says "Hey grandpa, what are you doing here instead of eating porridge at home?". And it grieves me that I'm not allowed to punch the face of that guy, if that is indeed what it said.

Wireimage informs me that this is Chloe Paige, but provides little information besides this. Other than the valuable implication that wireimage believes that money can be made by wireimage in offering photos of Chloe Paige for sale.

Wireimage informs me that this is Chloe Paige, but provides little information besides this. Other than the valuable implication that wireimage believes that money can be made by wireimage in offering photos of Chloe Paige for sale.

The identity of the woman staring into the infinite future beyond tonight's trivial frivolities is as yet not known to me but I would follow her paradigm-shifting political views as far as possible to effect true change in this lost country; but apparently the dude staring into the middle distance like "Babe, is that dude selling burritos? -because I could go for a burrito" is Fabrizio Santino

The identity of the woman staring into the infinite future beyond tonight's trivial frivolities is as yet not known to me but I would follow her paradigm-shifting political views as far as possible to effect true change in this lost country; but apparently the dude staring into the middle distance like "Babe, is that dude selling burritos? -because I could go for a burrito" is Fabrizio Santino

I don't know who this is, but it's not likely to be Alexander Skarsgard. Enough so that I'm not going to the trouble of digging out that letter 'a' with the single round dot above it.

I don't know who this is, but it's not likely to be Alexander Skarsgard. Enough so that I'm not going to the trouble of digging out that letter 'a' with the single round dot above it.

Awesomely, it seems that there is a small media crew on the Odeon Leicester Square balcony and they're doing interviews!! As it turns out, they're interviewing the one person from the cast that I've already photographed : Charlotte Peters

Awesomely, it seems that there is a small media crew on the Odeon Leicester Square balcony and they're doing interviews!! As it turns out, they're interviewing the one person from the cast that I've already photographed : Charlotte Peters

I'd like to think that the proprietal satisfaction of the pose of the guy on the right means he's the director or somebody important to this film.... but then I'd also like to think that the work I do has actual value and serves a vital function in the dissemination of cultural richness that improves the lives of thousands if not dozens if not several people around the world.

I'd like to think that the proprietal satisfaction of the pose of the guy on the right means he's the director or somebody important to this film.... but then I'd also like to think that the work I do has actual value and serves a vital function in the dissemination of cultural richness that improves the lives of thousands if not dozens if not several people around the world.

In the absence of anyone better (or prettier) to photograph, I'm somewhat comfortable in turning this journal into a celebration of the photogenic relevance of one lady at a world premiere for a movie that she's in. I've done it before (sort of) for Tom Hiddleston at the premiere of "Only Lovers Left Alive".

In the absence of anyone better (or prettier) to photograph, I'm somewhat comfortable in turning this journal into a celebration of the photogenic relevance of one lady at a world premiere for a movie that she's in. I've done it before (sort of) for Tom Hiddleston at the premiere of "Only Lovers Left Alive".

I don't know who Gemma Oaten is, but thanks to the zealous flashes of the paparazzi interested in photographing her, deleting the two alcohol brands on the backing wall in this photo was much simpler. Shadows confuse the software on my older version of photoshop.

I don't know who Gemma Oaten is, but thanks to the zealous flashes of the paparazzi interested in photographing her, deleting the two alcohol brands on the backing wall in this photo was much simpler. Shadows confuse the software on my older version of photoshop.

The good news : I've found an angle that allows me to photograph people being interviewed on the balcony above me, shooting through glass. The bad news : the interviewees' faces are literally being interfered with by the reflections of the LED lights from the adjacent screens advertising this movie - only if they're facing me.

The good news : I've found an angle that allows me to photograph people being interviewed on the balcony above me, shooting through glass. The bad news : the interviewees' faces are literally being interfered with by the reflections of the LED lights from the adjacent screens advertising this movie - only if they're facing me.

The good news : I've now found an angle that cuts down on LED reflections. The bad news : I'm now getting dappled light through the gaps between leaves creating differing reflections. (I once photographed a Lady Gaga concert whose lighting effects would put epileptics into comas and fry unlucky camera sensors. It was somewhat simpler than shooting this World Premiere)

The good news : I've now found an angle that cuts down on LED reflections. The bad news : I'm now getting dappled light through the gaps between leaves creating differing reflections. (I once photographed a Lady Gaga concert whose lighting effects would put epileptics into comas and fry unlucky camera sensors. It was somewhat simpler than shooting this World Premiere)

"We're young, we're cool, we're all wearing different coloured clothes, and now we just need Marvel and DC to enter into a bidding war for the rights to put us into their cinematic universe"

"We're young, we're cool, we're all wearing different coloured clothes, and now we just need Marvel and DC to enter into a bidding war for the rights to put us into their cinematic universe"

Rather excitingly, I have photographed a second (2nd) person FROM THIS MOVIE at THIS MOVIE'S WORLD PREMIERE!! Samantha Barks, who I've photographed at some Baftas and Oliviers in the past - as well as the (world) premiere of Les Miserables - plays the role of "Josefa Duchek"..

Rather excitingly, I have photographed a second (2nd) person FROM THIS MOVIE at THIS MOVIE'S WORLD PREMIERE!! Samantha Barks, who I've photographed at some Baftas and Oliviers in the past - as well as the (world) premiere of Les Miserables - plays the role of "Josefa Duchek"..

While Samantha Barks attempts to answer whatever question she's being asked, I ponder on how it's possible I might have missed photographing Edmund Kingsley, who is in this film (and its premiere) and would have increased the number of stars from this movie in this journal by 50%.

While Samantha Barks attempts to answer whatever question she's being asked, I ponder on how it's possible I might have missed photographing Edmund Kingsley, who is in this film (and its premiere) and would have increased the number of stars from this movie in this journal by 50%.

But that was it. And with the stars seemingly settled in their seats and being plied with alcohol provided by their sponsors (who are not the Estonian brand Saaremaa which I heartily endorse) all that was left was to photograph some of the well-dressed human props used by stars to pose with and guests to admire:

Elizabethan Ninja Squad 2000. (copyright me 2017 - also, contact me, Marvel, if you're interested)

Elizabethan Ninja Squad 2000. (copyright me 2017 - also, contact me, Marvel, if you're interested)

"Plucking those feathers off live birds is cruel, and I want to reassure you that we didn't do that when we made this hat. We glued the live birds together instead"

"Plucking those feathers off live birds is cruel, and I want to reassure you that we didn't do that when we made this hat. We glued the live birds together instead"

"Watch this movie. Or watch us instead - your choice!"

"Watch this movie. Or watch us instead - your choice!"

"See you in the next instalment of : Elizabethan Ninja Squad 2000"

"See you in the next instalment of : Elizabethan Ninja Squad 2000"

Update : 13th May : I've trawled through my photos and found two more attendees : and both were in the movie!!

Bonus Attendee #1 : The lady waiting patiently in line wearing a dress that screams "I ain't waitin' in line for NOBODY' is Klara Issova, who is in this movie.

Bonus Attendee #1 : The lady waiting patiently in line wearing a dress that screams "I ain't waitin' in line for NOBODY' is Klara Issova, who is in this movie.

Bonus Attendee #2 : The left side of Edmund Kingsley's face is in this movie... and without having seen it I'm going to assume the right side also features.

Bonus Attendee #2 : The left side of Edmund Kingsley's face is in this movie... and without having seen it I'm going to assume the right side also features.

So... even though that was slightly more perplexing than fun, the extent of its perplexing-ness was high enough that there was some merit in it overall. I just wish it had been a 'real' premiere where might have been able to take some better photos. (I know, I know -it wasn't set up for the likes of me.... but, still. Would've been nice for there to have been better access). Although I shouldn't complain : as at now (three days later) this journal has had more views than the ones for Alien : Covenant and King Arthur : Legend of the Sword COMBINED.

So I would never deny it access to the hallowed halls of my archive of movie premieres, where it can confuse and bemuse myriads of people in the years to come... unless Squarespace's next inane update/upgrade somehow accidentally autotranslates it into Urdu or Sanskrit or Pirate or Hieroglyphs or something. But until then...

Until next time!

ps. if you ever want to know when I'm just sober enough to upload one of these journals, feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or on twitter at berndt2_photo, or just hang out here on this website, pressing the refresh button obsessively to see if I've added anything (nb. after this Sunday's TV Baftas it looks to be fairly quiet...)

11 May - The 'King Arthur : Legend of the Sword' Premiere

May 11th, 2017.

London's last premiere was small and enjoyable ('Jawbone' on Monday), but this one was considerably larger. I was fortunate enough to get a very low-number wristband to it, because I happened to watch a movie the day before at the cinema hosting the premiere just as they were setting up the table o' wristbands. And then, one day later, I returned with cameras in tow..... and....

"What the world needs now, as we head into transhumanism, the failure of capitalism, the rise of fake news and the increasing ubiquity of mass-monitoring and mass-marketing is a story where a dude pulls a knife out of a rock and starts punching people because he's destined to"

"What the world needs now, as we head into transhumanism, the failure of capitalism, the rise of fake news and the increasing ubiquity of mass-monitoring and mass-marketing is a story where a dude pulls a knife out of a rock and starts punching people because he's destined to"

Well, I'm on board for that. Here's how it went down:

"I don't know why people keep saying mirrorless cameras are light compared to DSLRs. I basically need to wear weighted shoes to stop mine from floating away..."

"I don't know why people keep saying mirrorless cameras are light compared to DSLRs. I basically need to wear weighted shoes to stop mine from floating away..."

"Next time would it kill you to send up some packets of crisps and some lagers?" The high-tech screen never was fully fixed for the premiere, though an artful use of screensaver-style graphics covered the flaw fairly easy.

"Next time would it kill you to send up some packets of crisps and some lagers?" The high-tech screen never was fully fixed for the premiere, though an artful use of screensaver-style graphics covered the flaw fairly easy.

Note to Disney's lawyers : the blue glow on the sword is not meant to suggest, imply, or remind anyone of a lightsaber, like, in any way.

Note to Disney's lawyers : the blue glow on the sword is not meant to suggest, imply, or remind anyone of a lightsaber, like, in any way.

A row of velvet-rope barriers to create a barrier between ordinary ticketholders and the movie's stars being interviewed on the red carpet which also has the effect of blocking crowd views of those same stars being interviewed, and stops them easily signing autographs. Frankly, I think we're six months from having fully-excavated Talent Moats to divide the stars from the commoners.

A row of velvet-rope barriers to create a barrier between ordinary ticketholders and the movie's stars being interviewed on the red carpet which also has the effect of blocking crowd views of those same stars being interviewed, and stops them easily signing autographs. Frankly, I think we're six months from having fully-excavated Talent Moats to divide the stars from the commoners.

Director Guy Ritchie's Jacket/Trouser colour combination is quite Pete Weller-ian in its similarity to Monday's "Jawbone" Premiere. I've previously photographed Ritchie at the premieres of 'RockNRolla', 'Sherlock Holmes (2009)' and - strangely- the documentary 'African Cats'

Director Guy Ritchie's Jacket/Trouser colour combination is quite Pete Weller-ian in its similarity to Monday's "Jawbone" Premiere. I've previously photographed Ritchie at the premieres of 'RockNRolla', 'Sherlock Holmes (2009)' and - strangely- the documentary 'African Cats'

"The guy over there says you owe him five dollars because he didn't like 'Man from U.N.C.L.E.' His story checks out, but he doesn't have a receipt...."

"The guy over there says you owe him five dollars because he didn't like 'Man from U.N.C.L.E.' His story checks out, but he doesn't have a receipt...."

"This is all historically accurate to the time. From the shades to the scarf to the wooden board with the birdie symbol to the heavy metal music I assume they play throughout the film". I have no idea who Dougie Poynter is, or whether he's right about any of these things.

"This is all historically accurate to the time. From the shades to the scarf to the wooden board with the birdie symbol to the heavy metal music I assume they play throughout the film". I have no idea who Dougie Poynter is, or whether he's right about any of these things.

I think this is Hugh Robb, who plays the role of Arthur (age 11) in the film, which also has actors playing him at ages 2, 6, 19, and 'age of Charlie Hunnam'.

I think this is Hugh Robb, who plays the role of Arthur (age 11) in the film, which also has actors playing him at ages 2, 6, 19, and 'age of Charlie Hunnam'.

"Well, obviously we're hoping that this starts a series of parallel multi-age simultaneous prequels in an ongoing Athurian cinematic universe" "That, and we want a Batman crossover!!"

"Well, obviously we're hoping that this starts a series of parallel multi-age simultaneous prequels in an ongoing Athurian cinematic universe"
"That, and we want a Batman crossover!!"

"I struck out with both William and Harry, but you're sure even with the title he's not actually in line to the throne?" "I think he's American, sadly...."

"I struck out with both William and Harry, but you're sure even with the title he's not actually in line to the throne?"
"I think he's American, sadly...."

I liked composing the stage so it said "No King"... but sadly the lighting had changed by the time Charlie Hunnam was on stage.

I liked composing the stage so it said "No King"... but sadly the lighting had changed by the time Charlie Hunnam was on stage.

I'd never heard of Geoff Bell before, even though his imdb entry is considerable in length, and includes "2nd Lieutenant Frobb" in Rogue One, so he probably has his own action figures, a comic tie-in backstory and a lifetime of Star Wars convention money to look forward to.

I'd never heard of Geoff Bell before, even though his imdb entry is considerable in length, and includes "2nd Lieutenant Frobb" in Rogue One, so he probably has his own action figures, a comic tie-in backstory and a lifetime of Star Wars convention money to look forward to.

"The strict Security Guard Code prevents me from actually touching you directly, but I've been practicing my Force Guiding powers in my off-time...."

"The strict Security Guard Code prevents me from actually touching you directly, but I've been practicing my Force Guiding powers in my off-time...."

"Ties? They're so 1972..." Neil Maskell plays the evocatively named "Back Lack" in the film. His list of roles in the imdb is very impressive, but I'm drawn to him playing the role of Henry VIII in something called "Drunk History : UK" which I feel I should have been / be watching.

"Ties? They're so 1972..." Neil Maskell plays the evocatively named "Back Lack" in the film. His list of roles in the imdb is very impressive, but I'm drawn to him playing the role of Henry VIII in something called "Drunk History : UK" which I feel I should have been / be watching.

"I thought ties were so 1968. What did I miss in those four years??" Aiden Gillen is probably best known for being in (at the time of writing) 35 episodes each of the TV Shows "The Wire" and "Game of Thrones"

"I thought ties were so 1968. What did I miss in those four years??" Aiden Gillen is probably best known for being in (at the time of writing) 35 episodes each of the TV Shows "The Wire" and "Game of Thrones"

"If I'm honest, the snakes on your clothes are equal parts enticing and scary..... and I'm saying that as somebody who played the role of "CIA Op" in The Dark Knight Rises"

"If I'm honest, the snakes on your clothes are equal parts enticing and scary..... and I'm saying that as somebody who played the role of "CIA Op" in The Dark Knight Rises"

Lionel Wigram is one of five people credited with the story and/or screenplay of this movie, none of whom, incidentally, date back to medieval times.

Lionel Wigram is one of five people credited with the story and/or screenplay of this movie, none of whom, incidentally, date back to medieval times.

"I'm not wearing a swimsuit - I'm totally out of character" Jacqui Ainsley is both Married To Director Guy Ritchie and plays Lady Of The Lake in this film.

"I'm not wearing a swimsuit - I'm totally out of character" Jacqui Ainsley is both Married To Director Guy Ritchie and plays Lady Of The Lake in this film.

"His hair is better than mine, and he's in this film. I'm kind of jealous enough that I don't feel like asking him any questions...."- Craig McGinlay is in this film. And his hair is quite lustrous.

"His hair is better than mine, and he's in this film. I'm kind of jealous enough that I don't feel like asking him any questions...."- Craig McGinlay is in this film. And his hair is quite lustrous.

"The hair? I'm very proud of it. Also, Guy Ritchie was awesome to work with"

"The hair? I'm very proud of it. Also, Guy Ritchie was awesome to work with"

"Me? Onstage? What purpose would that serve? McGinlay's hair is better than mine, and David Beckham has just arrived and his is even better!" - director Guy Ritchie declined to go up on stage to be interviewed but it's probable that he enjoyed working with Guy Ritchie and looks forward to his next project.

"Me? Onstage? What purpose would that serve? McGinlay's hair is better than mine, and David Beckham has just arrived and his is even better!" - director Guy Ritchie declined to go up on stage to be interviewed but it's probable that he enjoyed working with Guy Ritchie and looks forward to his next project.

Katie McGrath is best known for playing the assistant to Bryce Dallas Howard's character in Jurassic World, whose (spoiler) death is so disproportionately horrifying and undeserved it basically becomes a form of black comedy in that film.

Katie McGrath is best known for playing the assistant to Bryce Dallas Howard's character in Jurassic World, whose (spoiler) death is so disproportionately horrifying and undeserved it basically becomes a form of black comedy in that film.

The man, the myth, the myriad of branded fragrances ...David Beckham apparently has 15 lines of dialogue as the character 'Trigger' in the movie.

The man, the myth, the myriad of branded fragrances ...David Beckham apparently has 15 lines of dialogue as the character 'Trigger' in the movie.

"I'm contractually obliged to say I'm wearing one of my own fragrances, called 'beyond forever' " "Isn't that... like... not a particularly meaningful name for a fragrance, or a series of words looking to make sense?" "My accountants strongly disagree on both counts, Edith"

"I'm contractually obliged to say I'm wearing one of my own fragrances, called 'beyond forever' "
"Isn't that... like... not a particularly meaningful name for a fragrance, or a series of words looking to make sense?"
"My accountants strongly disagree on both counts, Edith"

"Buy my fragrance. Or one of the other three I have. Or one of my wife's. Or don't wash at all"

"Buy my fragrance. Or one of the other three I have. Or one of my wife's. Or don't wash at all"

"Just to let you know, my lawyers will be contacting your lawyers with a takedown notice to remove this unauthorised photo of me in 5, 4, 3, 2, .... about now"

"Just to let you know, my lawyers will be contacting your lawyers with a takedown notice to remove this unauthorised photo of me in 5, 4, 3, 2, .... about now"

David Beckham having cleverly avoided signing autographs, posing for selfies, or risking random paternity suits from the crowd, our next guest on stage is Poppy Delevingne, who plays the role of the improbably named "Igraine" in the film.

David Beckham having cleverly avoided signing autographs, posing for selfies, or risking random paternity suits from the crowd, our next guest on stage is Poppy Delevingne, who plays the role of the improbably named "Igraine" in the film.

"No, I assure you that you're the first person to put an "M" in front of the character's name as a joke. Yes, I'm flirting with you. Otherwise I'd say you're about the forty-third"

"No, I assure you that you're the first person to put an "M" in front of the character's name as a joke. Yes, I'm flirting with you. Otherwise I'd say you're about the forty-third"

"I'm not sure what to do. On the one hand, it's clearly broken. On the other, people are taking even more photos than before..."

"I'm not sure what to do. On the one hand, it's clearly broken. On the other, people are taking even more photos than before..."

"No, young lady. I'M Charlie Hunnam. People are always getting us confused, damnit..." (Action hero Jason Statham and I have the same problem)

"No, young lady. I'M Charlie Hunnam. People are always getting us confused, damnit..." (Action hero Jason Statham and I have the same problem)

"It's ME! I will gratefully accept your cheers and applause for another few minutes." Charlie Hunnam plays the role of Arthur in the movie, and I've previously photographed him at the premieres of 'Pacific Rim' in 2013, and earlier this year at 'The Lost City of Z'

"It's ME! I will gratefully accept your cheers and applause for another few minutes." Charlie Hunnam plays the role of Arthur in the movie, and I've previously photographed him at the premieres of 'Pacific Rim' in 2013, and earlier this year at 'The Lost City of Z'

"Pocket watches are totally making a comeback. And all you have to do to have your own is to cut the wrist straps off your regular watch and attach a chain. Or... do something weird with your iPhone that will probably void its warranty...."

"Pocket watches are totally making a comeback. And all you have to do to have your own is to cut the wrist straps off your regular watch and attach a chain. Or... do something weird with your iPhone that will probably void its warranty...."

"Well, this is a Warner Bros film so yeah, I guess I could show up in the Justice League if they decide to go that way" - And I for one can't wait for the next bizarre installment in the increasingly convoluted abomination that is the DCU. Not to watch it, mind you...

"Well, this is a Warner Bros film so yeah, I guess I could show up in the Justice League if they decide to go that way" - And I for one can't wait for the next bizarre installment in the increasingly convoluted abomination that is the DCU. Not to watch it, mind you...

So... that was another premiere. Despite the waiting and the crowds and the unfriendly layout and the people milling on the carpet, and Guy Ritchie not going on stage and David Beckham not signing autographs and Charlie Hunnam being mobbed by autograph dealers.... I forget where this sentence is going. But I was there, and I took some photos. And though I may do another one tomorrow, for today it's another entry into the Archive of Movie premieres.

Until next time!

ps. if you ever want to find out whenever I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or on twitter at berndt2_photo, or on this website (I guess... do people still use RSS feeds?).

"Anyway, watch this movie. Even if, yes, violence is bad. So if you're going to fight, use words. But don't hurt peoples' feelings. Because that's bad. Basically.... be good people, watch our movie, and be comfortable with the dichotomy. Peace, out"

"Anyway, watch this movie. Even if, yes, violence is bad. So if you're going to fight, use words. But don't hurt peoples' feelings. Because that's bad. Basically.... be good people, watch our movie, and be comfortable with the dichotomy. Peace, out"

08 May - The 'Jawbone' Premiere

May 8th, 2017.

It was a dull, dour, grey and cold winter day (in mid-spring) in London for the first premiere for a movie about a body part I can remember covering. And rather than the glitz and glamour and excessively noisy street-buskers of Leicester Square, this one was at the more subdued and refined BFI Southbank, for the boxing movie 'Jawbone'.

Here's how it went down:

Premiere. T-Minus 2.5hrs. It's not exactly a Disney-sized premiere... by which I mean this is an actual premiere, with actual public access and no snipers on rooftops making sure non-blogging, non-ticketholding, non-publicity-generating losers can't get within miles of the event or its stars.

Premiere. T-Minus 2.5hrs. It's not exactly a Disney-sized premiere... by which I mean this is an actual premiere, with actual public access and no snipers on rooftops making sure non-blogging, non-ticketholding, non-publicity-generating losers can't get within miles of the event or its stars.

Premiere. T-Minus 1.5hrs. They have a carpet, and they have fans (?), and they have an assemblage of photographers. (I, meanwhile have a perch on a bridge and an appointment with a bottle of pre-premiere cider. Because that's how seriously I'm taking this. Also the cider was delicious)

Premiere. T-Minus 1.5hrs. They have a carpet, and they have fans (?), and they have an assemblage of photographers. (I, meanwhile have a perch on a bridge and an appointment with a bottle of pre-premiere cider. Because that's how seriously I'm taking this. Also the cider was delicious)

"Is it wrong that I don't know who any of these people are? I mostly photograph swimsuit models while most of these people are male and bald or balding" - Hey, I'M male and bald or balding.

"Is it wrong that I don't know who any of these people are? I mostly photograph swimsuit models while most of these people are male and bald or balding" - Hey, I'M male and bald or balding.

"Writer AND Actor but NOT Director. Let's see anyone but Quentin Tarantino get even close to THAT!" - Johnny Harris is, indeed both the writer of the film and plays a role in it. (I, of course, write, direct and edit these premiere journals, while Michael Fassbender plays me in real life)

"Writer AND Actor but NOT Director. Let's see anyone but Quentin Tarantino get even close to THAT!" - Johnny Harris is, indeed both the writer of the film and plays a role in it. (I, of course, write, direct and edit these premiere journals, while Michael Fassbender plays me in real life)

Random (?) attendee : actor Nick Frost. Also, random presence on random attendee : a red beard on actor Nick Frost.

Random (?) attendee : actor Nick Frost. Also, random presence on random attendee : a red beard on actor Nick Frost.

"Don't touch me there. I'm long retired from professional boxing, but the body remembers how to defend itself automatically and I can't be held responsible for that if it happens." - Barry McGuigan was a former WBA Featherweight champion.

"Don't touch me there. I'm long retired from professional boxing, but the body remembers how to defend itself automatically and I can't be held responsible for that if it happens." - Barry McGuigan was a former WBA Featherweight champion.

"A Tango? Here? Now? Well.. they did go to the trouble of laying a carpet..."

"A Tango? Here? Now? Well.. they did go to the trouble of laying a carpet..."

"Yes, I was in Rogue One A Star Wars Story. Which means that the cowards at Redbubble.com will remove any picture you post of me - even taken at this premiere - because Disney owns my likeness in association with everything I do, anywhere, in anything, forever". Sorry, but it's still a sore point. Also, screw you Redbubble.

"Yes, I was in Rogue One A Star Wars Story. Which means that the cowards at Redbubble.com will remove any picture you post of me - even taken at this premiere - because Disney owns my likeness in association with everything I do, anywhere, in anything, forever".
Sorry, but it's still a sore point. Also, screw you Redbubble.

Actor Ray Winstone arrives, accompanied by a wife so age-inappropriate it turns out to be his daughter, Ellie Rae Winstone. (I last photographed him at the premiere of 'The Gunman' a few years ago now)

Actor Ray Winstone arrives, accompanied by a wife so age-inappropriate it turns out to be his daughter, Ellie Rae Winstone. (I last photographed him at the premiere of 'The Gunman' a few years ago now)

"And those gills at the back of your suit jacket : do they help you breathe, or move through the air any faster??" - despite my presence at numerous London Fashion Weeks since 2010, I've come to the conclusion that I still don't really understand fashion.

"And those gills at the back of your suit jacket : do they help you breathe, or move through the air any faster??" - despite my presence at numerous London Fashion Weeks since 2010, I've come to the conclusion that I still don't really understand fashion.

"I was going to frown, but my name IS Smiley". And I'm not even slightly drunk when typing that. I last photographed Michael Smiley at the premiere of Free Fire at London Film Festival 2016.

"I was going to frown, but my name IS Smiley". And I'm not even slightly drunk when typing that. I last photographed Michael Smiley at the premiere of Free Fire at London Film Festival 2016.

"This man to my left, at this premiere, at this venue, in this temperature, with this windchill factor, needs a hat. But I hasten to add that he's not having mine. I'm using mine to keep my head warm and to look fabulous".

"This man to my left, at this premiere, at this venue, in this temperature, with this windchill factor, needs a hat. But I hasten to add that he's not having mine. I'm using mine to keep my head warm and to look fabulous".

Ray Winstone : "You could give him your beanie, young man?". Me : "But... but... I'm using it keep my head warm and to look fabulous!" (it has a white vertical stripe on dark blue)

Ray Winstone : "You could give him your beanie, young man?".
Me : "But... but... I'm using it keep my head warm and to look fabulous!" (it has a white vertical stripe on dark blue)

"A sombrero, Ray. That's what I really want"

"A sombrero, Ray. That's what I really want"

"It's like I don't even know you anymore, bro".

"It's like I don't even know you anymore, bro".

"But enough about that man and his hatlessness. You'll notice mine's awesome and that my tie has a tie-pin"

"But enough about that man and his hatlessness. You'll notice mine's awesome and that my tie has a tie-pin"

"I have nothing against the fur coat or the colour you're wearing, but it's distracting people from my hat, my tie and my tie-pin... and that's clearly unacceptable"

"I have nothing against the fur coat or the colour you're wearing, but it's distracting people from my hat, my tie and my tie-pin... and that's clearly unacceptable"

"I'm going to stand here until you admit you have no idea what colour I'm wearing underneath the coat"

"I'm going to stand here until you admit you have no idea what colour I'm wearing underneath the coat"

"Wait. None of y'all are going to be stealing my soul using your cameras? Because last time that happened it took ages for me to get it back..."

"Wait. None of y'all are going to be stealing my soul using your cameras? Because last time that happened it took ages for me to get it back..."

"I saw somebody do this in a movie once. Though offhand I can no longer remember if it was from a martial arts film or a musical....."

"I saw somebody do this in a movie once. Though offhand I can no longer remember if it was from a martial arts film or a musical....."

"I'm not being creepy, Michael. I just really, really, REALLY like your silk cravat. And I'll really, really, REALLY do anything to get it"

"I'm not being creepy, Michael. I just really, really, REALLY like your silk cravat. And I'll really, really, REALLY do anything to get it"

Meanwhile, if you think I'm captivated by that man's scarf, you clearly haven't (yet) seen the amazing, nay unbelievable man-bun on the head of the man on the left. And with that, this premiere has just entered the next phase of its compelling strangeness.

Meanwhile, if you think I'm captivated by that man's scarf, you clearly haven't (yet) seen the amazing, nay unbelievable man-bun on the head of the man on the left. And with that, this premiere has just entered the next phase of its compelling strangeness.

OMG and then an ice-cream van showed up at a premiere, and ordinarily I'd just make that up but here's a photo.

OMG and then an ice-cream van showed up at a premiere, and ordinarily I'd just make that up but here's a photo.

Meanwhile, here's Man With Amazing Hair/Man-Bun Man (subsequently identified as Luke J.I. Smith) and Woman Whose Hat Looks Like A Sinking Boat (identification pending).

Meanwhile, here's Man With Amazing Hair/Man-Bun Man (subsequently identified as Luke J.I. Smith) and Woman Whose Hat Looks Like A Sinking Boat (identification pending).

And then Paul Weller from 'The Jam' (1976-82), 'The Style Council' (1983-89) and 'That Jacket With Those Trousers' (2017) showed up.

And then Paul Weller from 'The Jam' (1976-82), 'The Style Council' (1983-89) and 'That Jacket With Those Trousers' (2017) showed up.

"I'll shake hands, but not with eye-contact. Obviously you understand why...." (Appropriately, Paul Weller gets the film's "Music By" credit)

"I'll shake hands, but not with eye-contact. Obviously you understand why...." (Appropriately, Paul Weller gets the film's "Music By" credit)

"I'm just going to stand here, getting a cheap tan from the flashguns of your camera gear.... unless you're not using incandescent bulbs or phosphorus powder anymore?"

"I'm just going to stand here, getting a cheap tan from the flashguns of your camera gear.... unless you're not using incandescent bulbs or phosphorus powder anymore?"

"Fine, go ahead and make yourself look cooler while diminishing my coolness by posting us together on twitter".

"Fine, go ahead and make yourself look cooler while diminishing my coolness by posting us together on twitter".

So... that was actually rather enjoyable. I also enjoyed last week's "Alien Covenant" World Premiere, but this was fun and less stressful. Apparently there's another two premieres this week (and the TV Baftas on Sunday), so I'd better go home, get some sleep, and charge those metaphorical (and literal) batteries, and update my Archive of Movie Premieres.

Until next time!

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, and/or insult people who do (or don't) wear hats, feel free to follow me on facebook at 'premieresdotco' or on twitter at @berndt2_photo.

04 May - The 'Alien Covenant' Global Premiere

May 4th, 2017

There's been a bit of a lull in premieres in London for the past few weeks. Sure, the studio with the Mouse's Ears flew all the cast of Guardians of The Galaxy Vol2 all the way to London, put them up in hotels, booked a venue, hired security, put in place barriers... but then they had their cars drive directly into a side-gate without so much as lowering their windows, let alone slowing down. Thanks, Disney.

So perhaps it's fate that today, on Disney's May The Fourth Star Wars Day, another franchise had its world premiere in London.

Here's how it went down:

"Well, it's no Sistine Chapel, but when we're finished with it, it's going to have more goo and slime than Leonardo ever dreamed of..."

"Well, it's no Sistine Chapel, but when we're finished with it, it's going to have more goo and slime than Leonardo ever dreamed of..."

"Yo, everyone. We've got a little lost kid looking for his mother. Goes by the name of 'Wallace'. Or maybe he's just hissing at me"

"Yo, everyone. We've got a little lost kid looking for his mother. Goes by the name of 'Wallace'. Or maybe he's just hissing at me"

Officiating over the warmup festivities at this premiere (and apologising to angry mothers) was your good friend and mine Hakeem Mr Impact and DJ Xenomorph

Officiating over the warmup festivities at this premiere (and apologising to angry mothers) was your good friend and mine Hakeem Mr Impact and DJ Xenomorph

"They should put red crosses over all the actors whose characters didn't make it out of this movie alive. Just so we'd know what kind of questions might offend them..."

"They should put red crosses over all the actors whose characters didn't make it out of this movie alive. Just so we'd know what kind of questions might offend them..."

Along with the majority of cast and some kind of four-wheeled Audi moon buggy (?), this premiere also featured a number of 'famous' (?) online bloggers, hosts and 'influencers'. Which sucks, because how does this website with its almost dozen views weekly, not count as a key influencer in the valuable 'skeptical ba5tard' demographic?

Along with the majority of cast and some kind of four-wheeled Audi moon buggy (?), this premiere also featured a number of 'famous' (?) online bloggers, hosts and 'influencers'. Which sucks, because how does this website with its almost dozen views weekly, not count as a key influencer in the valuable 'skeptical ba5tard' demographic?

Benedict Wong may possibly be best known as some kind of Librarian in the Disney/Marvel movie 'Doctor Strange', but he was also (spoiler) one of the last people to die in this movie's predecessor film, 'Prometheus'

Benedict Wong may possibly be best known as some kind of Librarian in the Disney/Marvel movie 'Doctor Strange', but he was also (spoiler) one of the last people to die in this movie's predecessor film, 'Prometheus'

"I'm a Prometheus Force Ghost in THIS movie!"

"I'm a Prometheus Force Ghost in THIS movie!"

Sadly, Australia's own Tess Haubrich (who is in this movie and might even wear this shiny dress and that awesome hairstyle in it) was not interviewed on stage, and therefore this was the only plausible photograph of her..

Sadly, Australia's own Tess Haubrich (who is in this movie and might even wear this shiny dress and that awesome hairstyle in it) was not interviewed on stage, and therefore this was the only plausible photograph of her..

"Is the lady behind me still doing that thing? Please tell her to stop" - Benjamin Rigby was previously in (but possibly not at the premiere of) the movie "Lion" and plays the possibly-named-for-copyright-infringement-avoidance character of "Ledward" in Alien Covenant.

"Is the lady behind me still doing that thing? Please tell her to stop" - Benjamin Rigby was previously in (but possibly not at the premiere of) the movie "Lion" and plays the possibly-named-for-copyright-infringement-avoidance character of "Ledward" in Alien Covenant.

"A sickly green tint on every photo in the journal because this is an Alien premiere? Sir Ridley might not, but I approve!"

"A sickly green tint on every photo in the journal because this is an Alien premiere? Sir Ridley might not, but I approve!"

Meanwhile, I really can't provide cynical commentary on the phenomenon of Awesome Online Influencer Lady - the clasp of her selfie-stick contains a mini-Hasbro Hoverboard from Back to the Future part2. Which is very cool (very cool).

Meanwhile, I really can't provide cynical commentary on the phenomenon of Awesome Online Influencer Lady - the clasp of her selfie-stick contains a mini-Hasbro Hoverboard from Back to the Future part2. Which is very cool (very cool).

"And then I felt these claws.... or were they pincers? ... fingers? prostheses? Anyway around my throat. It was either an Alien or it was Ridley and he was unhappy about something. I can't remember. What was the question again? - Demian Bichir, along with being in this movie, was most recently in (but not at the premiere of "The Hateful Eight")

"And then I felt these claws.... or were they pincers? ... fingers? prostheses? Anyway around my throat. It was either an Alien or it was Ridley and he was unhappy about something. I can't remember. What was the question again? - Demian Bichir, along with being in this movie, was most recently in (but not at the premiere of "The Hateful Eight")

"OMG your lower jaw detaches like an Alien! Oh, those are your dentures. Sorry, ma'am" - the awesomely named Uli Leukefu was, according to imdb.com, (which is never wrong in such things) in three episodes of Australian Idol back in 2004!

"OMG your lower jaw detaches like an Alien! Oh, those are your dentures. Sorry, ma'am" - the awesomely named Uli Leukefu was, according to imdb.com, (which is never wrong in such things) in three episodes of Australian Idol back in 2004!

"I'm not going to stand over there. It's clearly a trap"

"I'm not going to stand over there. It's clearly a trap"

"This guy over here remembers me from back when I was blue... and I'm not talking psychologically" - Billy Crudup is arguably best known for being Doctor Manhattan in what I will argue is one of only three of director Zack Snyder's movies that didn't suck : "Watchmen" (2009)

"This guy over here remembers me from back when I was blue... and I'm not talking psychologically" - Billy Crudup is arguably best known for being Doctor Manhattan in what I will argue is one of only three of director Zack Snyder's movies that didn't suck : "Watchmen" (2009)

"It was digitally enhanced. But not by much. And I'm not saying how much"

"It was digitally enhanced. But not by much. And I'm not saying how much"

"I said not THAT much. And that's why I ain't signing it"

"I said not THAT much. And that's why I ain't signing it"

"I didn't scream like a little girl in fear like they're showing in that trailer. They dubbed me. With a little girl's voice. They can do that with technology, Edith" - Danny McBride's imdb.com filmography includes the fact that he played the voice of 'Honey Mustard' in the animated 'Sausage Party'

"I didn't scream like a little girl in fear like they're showing in that trailer. They dubbed me. With a little girl's voice. They can do that with technology, Edith" - Danny McBride's imdb.com filmography includes the fact that he played the voice of 'Honey Mustard' in the animated 'Sausage Party'

"My eyebrow won't go any higher than that, bro... take the photo already"

"My eyebrow won't go any higher than that, bro... take the photo already"

"I'm not slowing down or stopping. I'm currently working on another movie as I'm walking to the stage" - I've photographed the highly prolific Sir Ridley Scott at premieres as diverse as those for 'The Counselor', 'The Martian', 'Exodus Gods and Kings' and even the original 'Prometheus' back in 2012.

"I'm not slowing down or stopping. I'm currently working on another movie as I'm walking to the stage" - I've photographed the highly prolific Sir Ridley Scott at premieres as diverse as those for 'The Counselor', 'The Martian', 'Exodus Gods and Kings' and even the original 'Prometheus' back in 2012.

"I'm thinking of making two more Prometheus sequels, two Alien prequels and a parallelquel to the third sequel. That, and maybe a couple of romantic comedies...."

"I'm thinking of making two more Prometheus sequels, two Alien prequels and a parallelquel to the third sequel. That, and maybe a couple of romantic comedies...."

"Anyone want to take this question? I believe he's going to ask me what it was like to work with Ridley Scott...."

"Anyone want to take this question? I believe he's going to ask me what it was like to work with Ridley Scott...."

Meanwhile, in the world of making friends and influencing people... I will admit that Cute Online Influence Lady's spidery/face-hugger inspired ?necklace? is quite impressive and she's wearing it well.

Meanwhile, in the world of making friends and influencing people... I will admit that Cute Online Influence Lady's spidery/face-hugger inspired ?necklace? is quite impressive and she's wearing it well.

"It's pronouned 'Jussie Smollett'. None of the letters are silent" - Jussie Smollett is in this movie, prior to which he was possibly best known for being in the 1994 Elijah Wood / Bruce Willis movie 'North' which I can't really remember.

"It's pronouned 'Jussie Smollett'. None of the letters are silent" - Jussie Smollett is in this movie, prior to which he was possibly best known for being in the 1994 Elijah Wood / Bruce Willis movie 'North' which I can't really remember.

"I took the mike off that DJ guy. He wasn't using it to rhyme...." - Michael Fassbender played the role of the android 'David' in 'Prometheus' and although I'm trying to avoid too many spoilers before I see the film, apparently he plays the role of 'Walter' in this one.

"I took the mike off that DJ guy. He wasn't using it to rhyme...." - Michael Fassbender played the role of the android 'David' in 'Prometheus' and although I'm trying to avoid too many spoilers before I see the film, apparently he plays the role of 'Walter' in this one.

"Why yes, I AM a dream to work with. Oh, wait... you were asking me about working with Ridley"

"Why yes, I AM a dream to work with. Oh, wait... you were asking me about working with Ridley"

"And so I was like.... we're in International Waters so yes, while it's not technically legal, it's also not technically illegal..."- Michael Fassbender was most recently in 'Assassins Creed' but I've photographed him at premieres like 'The Light Between Oceans (2016)', and the (I think) hugely underrated 'Steve Jobs (2015)' which Katherine Waterston (right) was also in.

"And so I was like.... we're in International Waters so yes, while it's not technically legal, it's also not technically illegal..."- Michael Fassbender was most recently in 'Assassins Creed' but I've photographed him at premieres like 'The Light Between Oceans (2016)', and the (I think) hugely underrated 'Steve Jobs (2015)' which Katherine Waterston (right) was also in.

"And then you got out of the car at this premiere and people were shouting 'sign for us, Michael' and 'pose for a selfie with us, Michael' and 'Be the godfather of my child, Michael'... and some of those were your CO-STARS, Michael...."

"And then you got out of the car at this premiere and people were shouting 'sign for us, Michael' and 'pose for a selfie with us, Michael' and 'Be the godfather of my child, Michael'... and some of those were your CO-STARS, Michael...."

"The dress? It's impractical for fighting aliens, but when they see it they do sometimes slow down to admire the weave pattern...." Katherine Waterston was also in (and at the premiere of) 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' last year.

"The dress? It's impractical for fighting aliens, but when they see it they do sometimes slow down to admire the weave pattern...." Katherine Waterston was also in (and at the premiere of) 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' last year.

"Girls kissing. I know, right??"

"Girls kissing. I know, right??"

"I didn't get my mobile phone out in time. Can you do it again?"

"I didn't get my mobile phone out in time. Can you do it again?"

"No, don't take my hand and help me down the stairs... hand me a flame thrower."

"No, don't take my hand and help me down the stairs... hand me a flame thrower."

And so, that was that. A pretty good premiere, especially when measured by the standards of companies who are much bigger, much wealther, and elect not to have them when going 95% of the way to having them when they don't have them. So.... big thanks to Twentieth Century Fox for keeping the dream alive!

Oh, and weirdly, just as it was time to go (and just like he'd done back in 2012 at the premiere of 'Prometheus'), Tom Hardy showed up!

Tom Hardy is looking at me. And I'm looking a Tom Hardy. And we've made a connection. And I loved him in Mad Max Fury Road. And with that chance, that moment, that connection, I just want to stare into his dreamy eyes as I softly ask him: "Hey, do you have Charlize Theron's phone number? She was also great in Mad Max Fury Road!"

Tom Hardy is looking at me. And I'm looking a Tom Hardy. And we've made a connection. And I loved him in Mad Max Fury Road. And with that chance, that moment, that connection, I just want to stare into his dreamy eyes as I softly ask him: "Hey, do you have Charlize Theron's phone number? She was also great in Mad Max Fury Road!"

"Fine. I'll sign your cap. But I'm keeping the lid on the sharpie"

"Fine. I'll sign your cap. But I'm keeping the lid on the sharpie"

So... that was kind of a fun premiere, and (finally) another one for The Archive of Movie Premieres.

Until next time!

ps. if you ever want to find out when I post one of these premieres (or would like me to photograph your premiere or event or motion picture) feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or on twitter at berndt2_photo.