13 June - The "Ocean's 8" European Premiere

June 13th, 2018.

For the first time in TWO MONTHS, London had a weekday Leicester Square premiere complete with carpets, barriers, security, autograph dealers, large crowds, and an improperly orchestrated single-colour wristband system based on a sequential series of numbers that's been around for over 1500 years.

And I wouldn't be anywhere else. Here's how it went down:

 When I got to Leicester Square at 6:30am today, I was #82 on The List, and told that wristbands would be handed out around 9:00am. Then I learned at 8:30am that wristbands had been handed out since before 8:00am... so I ended up with Wristband #171. There is justice in premiere-going. But not always.

When I got to Leicester Square at 6:30am today, I was #82 on The List, and told that wristbands would be handed out around 9:00am. Then I learned at 8:30am that wristbands had been handed out since before 8:00am... so I ended up with Wristband #171. There is justice in premiere-going. But not always.

 A mere 2.5hours after we were told to be back at Leicester Square for pen loading, I was finally in the pen at the premiere. And... amazingly I had a front-row spot. But was it a GOOD front-row spot? Uh.... more on that.

A mere 2.5hours after we were told to be back at Leicester Square for pen loading, I was finally in the pen at the premiere. And... amazingly I had a front-row spot. But was it a GOOD front-row spot? Uh.... more on that.

  "This list is amazing. AND it's in black'n'white... so classy...."  And given it's an all-female cast and all the music they're playing from the speakers seems to be girl-powah anthems, me and my errant Y-chromosome are just going to stay quiet and keep a low profile.

"This list is amazing. AND it's in black'n'white... so classy...." And given it's an all-female cast and all the music they're playing from the speakers seems to be girl-powah anthems, me and my errant Y-chromosome are just going to stay quiet and keep a low profile.

 I kinda want to meet the girl on the right. I think we'd have a lot in common.... for one thing, I, too, would probably end up being the Antisocial One in the Social Media Pen.

I kinda want to meet the girl on the right. I think we'd have a lot in common.... for one thing, I, too, would probably end up being the Antisocial One in the Social Media Pen.

  "I used to wonder why they put rearview mirrors on this camera... now I'm kinda glad. Those are some pretty nifty shoes."

"I used to wonder why they put rearview mirrors on this camera... now I'm kinda glad. Those are some pretty nifty shoes."

 They are, indeed, some fairly nifty shoes.

They are, indeed, some fairly nifty shoes.

  "I've been assured that standing in front of an unfiltered microwave ray is safe. Why... what have you heard?"

"I've been assured that standing in front of an unfiltered microwave ray is safe. Why... what have you heard?"

 I don't really have a view of the giant red carpet from where I'm standing, and the people in the second, third, and sometimes fourth row would regard any weakness on my part with opportunistic glee. In any event, this is the movie's Director, Gary Ross.

I don't really have a view of the giant red carpet from where I'm standing, and the people in the second, third, and sometimes fourth row would regard any weakness on my part with opportunistic glee. In any event, this is the movie's Director, Gary Ross.

  "Although this is a very cool movie starring some very glamorous women, we do want to reiterate that we do not believe crime is sexy, or in any way something people should engage in".  Really? Then how does that explain my rail franchise Govia Thameslink not having its CEO and Board in jail? (In other news, Olivia Milch and Gary Ross wrote the screenplay for this movie).

"Although this is a very cool movie starring some very glamorous women, we do want to reiterate that we do not believe crime is sexy, or in any way something people should engage in". Really? Then how does that explain my rail franchise Govia Thameslink not having its CEO and Board in jail? (In other news, Olivia Milch and Gary Ross wrote the screenplay for this movie).

  "I just think it's awesome that we can finally have a film about kickass women since that's never been done before".  Wow. It's like everyone already forgot Mad Max Fury Road exists. And was released three years ago. And won five Oscars. And was amazing. (Or that Ghostbusters (2016) was released in 2016.... but it's probably better everyone forgets about that)

"I just think it's awesome that we can finally have a film about kickass women since that's never been done before". Wow. It's like everyone already forgot Mad Max Fury Road exists. And was released three years ago. And won five Oscars. And was amazing. (Or that Ghostbusters (2016) was released in 2016.... but it's probably better everyone forgets about that)

 A look at Gary Ross' imdb page reveals not only that he directed the first movie in the    Hunger Games    franchise, but has been nominated for FOUR Academy Awards - three for writing (including the 1986 movie "Big" starring Tom Hanks) and one for Directing.

A look at Gary Ross' imdb page reveals not only that he directed the first movie in the Hunger Games franchise, but has been nominated for FOUR Academy Awards - three for writing (including the 1986 movie "Big" starring Tom Hanks) and one for Directing.

 This photo shows my spot in the pen - sometimes the giant boom camera barely gives me a sliver of an angle to shoot the stage. But sometimes slivers are all you get, and sometimes they're all you need. (Much like alcohol, really. Also feminism.)

This photo shows my spot in the pen - sometimes the giant boom camera barely gives me a sliver of an angle to shoot the stage. But sometimes slivers are all you get, and sometimes they're all you need. (Much like alcohol, really. Also feminism.)

  "The dress was WHITE before I leaned against that posing board over there, damnit"  - the first cast member on stage : Helena Bonham Carter. Her filmography is impressive, and she has two Academy Award nominations... but right now I have no idea when I last photographed her. Other than at this premiere, I mean.

"The dress was WHITE before I leaned against that posing board over there, damnit" - the first cast member on stage : Helena Bonham Carter. Her filmography is impressive, and she has two Academy Award nominations... but right now I have no idea when I last photographed her. Other than at this premiere, I mean.

  "Check it. Steady as a rock. I can totally take over hosting duties for this event, if you want".  although I sadly didn't photograph him, this premiere also saw the return of your friend and mine, DJ Impact and his tame DJ Seven Seas. A lot of things rhyme with "8"... but I believe he was mostly getting others to rap at this event.

"Check it. Steady as a rock. I can totally take over hosting duties for this event, if you want". although I sadly didn't photograph him, this premiere also saw the return of your friend and mine, DJ Impact and his tame DJ Seven Seas. A lot of things rhyme with "8"... but I believe he was mostly getting others to rap at this event.

  "A third Alice in Wonderland live-action movie? Ummm.... I'm backing Oceans 9 and 10 as a higher likelihood, I think"

"A third Alice in Wonderland live-action movie? Ummm.... I'm backing Oceans 9 and 10 as a higher likelihood, I think"

 Ah, the usual polite English sport of autograph collecting, captured here at its most refined. (The crush was much worse when Sandra Bullock got closer to me)

Ah, the usual polite English sport of autograph collecting, captured here at its most refined. (The crush was much worse when Sandra Bullock got closer to me)

 Mandy Kaling was most recently in    "A Wrinke In Time"    which actually had a premiere in London (I say that as if that's somehow rare... because it is), but was also the voice of "Disgust" in Disney/Pixar's    "Inside Out"   , which had a premiere in London but she didn't attend.

Mandy Kaling was most recently in "A Wrinke In Time" which actually had a premiere in London (I say that as if that's somehow rare... because it is), but was also the voice of "Disgust" in Disney/Pixar's "Inside Out", which had a premiere in London but she didn't attend.

  "Gravity? But that was so.... so.... so long ago! Got anything newer for me to sign?"  Sandra Bullock  won an Oscar for that movie.

"Gravity? But that was so.... so.... so long ago! Got anything newer for me to sign?" Sandra Bullock  won an Oscar for that movie.

  "Did that French Guy also say that he 'Luffs' you in a creepy way? I'm beginning to think it might be saying it indiscriminately to everyone...."

"Did that French Guy also say that he 'Luffs' you in a creepy way? I'm beginning to think it might be saying it indiscriminately to everyone...."

 Next up on stage to join the group : Australia's own Cate Blanchett, dual Oscar Winner, and wearer of the pelt of a bird I like to believe she defeated in unarmed hand-to-hand combat. I think I last photographed her twice in 2015, at the London Film Festival premieres of    "Carol"    and    "Truth"

Next up on stage to join the group : Australia's own Cate Blanchett, dual Oscar Winner, and wearer of the pelt of a bird I like to believe she defeated in unarmed hand-to-hand combat. I think I last photographed her twice in 2015, at the London Film Festival premieres of "Carol" and "Truth"

  "It wasn't unarmed combat. That emu had a machete and an attitude. And I wear its feathers as a sign of my respect for its determination to live... and also of my determination to wear its feathers"

"It wasn't unarmed combat. That emu had a machete and an attitude. And I wear its feathers as a sign of my respect for its determination to live... and also of my determination to wear its feathers"

  "Stop calling my dress 'The Pink Ravioli'. That's not what it's called"  - fourth on stage from the cast - Sarah Paulson, and Sarah Paulson's dress, which is being worn by her.

"Stop calling my dress 'The Pink Ravioli'. That's not what it's called" - fourth on stage from the cast - Sarah Paulson, and Sarah Paulson's dress, which is being worn by her.

  "Having eight women (and no men) in the Oceans team wasn't deliberate, you know. It was just a 1 in 256 coincidence. And what's the likelihood that the extra person in Oceans 9 will be a Man, I hear you ask? Umm... about 1 in 512, I think..."  (But yes, I am aware that the maths for Oceans 12 is pretty heavily outside the 'coincidental' realm by several orders of magnitude)

"Having eight women (and no men) in the Oceans team wasn't deliberate, you know. It was just a 1 in 256 coincidence. And what's the likelihood that the extra person in Oceans 9 will be a Man, I hear you ask? Umm... about 1 in 512, I think..." (But yes, I am aware that the maths for Oceans 12 is pretty heavily outside the 'coincidental' realm by several orders of magnitude)

  "We're going to need more microphones. This answer is going to sound so much better in Dolby 7.1"

"We're going to need more microphones. This answer is going to sound so much better in Dolby 7.1"

  "Is this really how we're going to decide who's wearing a better top?" "No, of course not. Don't be childish. Because clearly mine's better."

"Is this really how we're going to decide who's wearing a better top?"
"No, of course not. Don't be childish. Because clearly mine's better."

  "Is this really how we're going to decide whether Cate's or Sarah's top is better?" "No, of course not. Because clearly mine's better than either of theirs."

"Is this really how we're going to decide whether Cate's or Sarah's top is better?"
"No, of course not. Because clearly mine's better than either of theirs."

  "Anyway, that's how I assembled my ikea cabinet. It might not work as well on your ikea cabinet if it's a different model, but check out my youtube channel, and it'll lead you through it. Oh, wait. You were asking about the movie?"

"Anyway, that's how I assembled my ikea cabinet. It might not work as well on your ikea cabinet if it's a different model, but check out my youtube channel, and it'll lead you through it. Oh, wait. You were asking about the movie?"

 I kinda want to write a comment about something other than Cate Blanchett's top... but I just keep staring at it. Sarah Paulson does not appear to be happy about that.

I kinda want to write a comment about something other than Cate Blanchett's top... but I just keep staring at it. Sarah Paulson does not appear to be happy about that.

  "I think there's some protesters from PETA who want to talk to you about it" "Like I said, the Emu was armed and gave as good as it got, Sarah. I don't see why they'd be so upset about it."

"I think there's some protesters from PETA who want to talk to you about it"
"Like I said, the Emu was armed and gave as good as it got, Sarah. I don't see why they'd be so upset about it."

  "You like my dress better? Good choice. What do you want me to sign? Cate's Lord of the Rings crap? No problem!"

"You like my dress better? Good choice. What do you want me to sign? Cate's Lord of the Rings crap? No problem!"

 Although Singer Rihanna is on the film, and was on the list of attendees, she hadn't arrived by the time they started inviting people in the pens to leave if they wanted (and I certainly wanted). So meanwhile, here's a photo of composer Daniel Pemberton, who did the excellent score to (say) Danny Boyle's 'Steve Jobs'

Although Singer Rihanna is on the film, and was on the list of attendees, she hadn't arrived by the time they started inviting people in the pens to leave if they wanted (and I certainly wanted). So meanwhile, here's a photo of composer Daniel Pemberton, who did the excellent score to (say) Danny Boyle's 'Steve Jobs'

So... that was that. A premiere in London has certainly been a long time coming... and I'm  glad they had one. And there are two more scheduled in July to hopefully look forward to and add to the Archive of Movie premieres. Rihanna ended up showing up late, but I photographed her at 'Valerian' a couple of years ago and really wanted to get home (as mentioned, my train company sucks, and indeed my train was delayed 20mins when I got there)

Until next time!

ps. If you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or on twitter at berndt2_photo

4 June - The 'Welcome to Curiosity' Premiere

June 4th, 2018.

From 12th April to 4th June, London's premieres have been nothing more than a giant T-Rex, free cheese toasties on a Sunday morning...  and the TV Baftas. It's a drought the likes of which I don't think London's ever suffered through, and it's not exactly like we're expecting The Rains anytime soon. That's why, when the documentary "McQueen" had a premiere announced for today, I decided I'd definitely go. And when it turned out there were no barriers, fans, red carpet or dealers outside the Empire/Cineworld.... I stayed anyway.

.... and here's how something else entirely went down:

(ADVANCE NOTICE : AS AT THE TIME OF UPLOADING I DON'T KNOW WHO ANY OF THESE PEOPLE ARE!!)

 Heading towards the Empire Cinema, which had a security presence but no sign of any fans or carpet or barriers, a chance glance left-wards revealed.... an unexpected crowd, and paparazzi flashes coming from the PRINCE CHARLES Cinema!

Heading towards the Empire Cinema, which had a security presence but no sign of any fans or carpet or barriers, a chance glance left-wards revealed.... an unexpected crowd, and paparazzi flashes coming from the PRINCE CHARLES Cinema!

 You need to understand : there are numerous websites dedicated to promoting movies and announcing premieres in London. Just about all of them had "McQueen" listed and that was a *nothing* premiere. And here, all of a sudden : a premiere that's a REAL premiere, unannounced and yet perfectly formed.

You need to understand : there are numerous websites dedicated to promoting movies and announcing premieres in London. Just about all of them had "McQueen" listed and that was a *nothing* premiere. And here, all of a sudden : a premiere that's a REAL premiere, unannounced and yet perfectly formed.

 Sorry, optimistic bottom-left paparazzi.... but the next person posing in front of that board will NOT be as good looking as the person in front of you....

Sorry, optimistic bottom-left paparazzi.... but the next person posing in front of that board will NOT be as good looking as the person in front of you....

  "Did the guy writing that comment say what he just said, or did he merely write it down?" "I don't know... I wasn't listening"

"Did the guy writing that comment say what he just said, or did he merely write it down?"
"I don't know... I wasn't listening"

  "How can I get my looks of disdain to look so.... so.. .disdainful??"

"How can I get my looks of disdain to look so.... so.. .disdainful??"

  "Capes? Capes are totally back in. Until Edna Mode from The Incredibles tells us that they're not once again, I mean"

"Capes? Capes are totally back in. Until Edna Mode from The Incredibles tells us that they're not once again, I mean"

 Paparazzi on right :  "Must... adjust.... Facebook.... privacy... settings....."

Paparazzi on right : "Must... adjust.... Facebook.... privacy... settings....."

 Not only do I not know who any of these people are, even the vast majority (ie. all) of the sponsors on the posing board are entirely unknown to me. (though I do find the reference to "taffy boy" somewhat soothing as compared to the aggressiveness of "shooting tiger")

Not only do I not know who any of these people are, even the vast majority (ie. all) of the sponsors on the posing board are entirely unknown to me. (though I do find the reference to "taffy boy" somewhat soothing as compared to the aggressiveness of "shooting tiger")

 I feel like I should know who this is. If only because he looks like he'd be pretty angry if I admitted I didn't. So... moving right along...

I feel like I should know who this is. If only because he looks like he'd be pretty angry if I admitted I didn't. So... moving right along...

  "No I will not look where you tell me, and no I will not say 'cheese' if you ask me, and if you make one smart comment about my spiffing blue tie I'll have you shot. That said, thanks for coming here to help us promote our film. We appreciate it."

"No I will not look where you tell me, and no I will not say 'cheese' if you ask me, and if you make one smart comment about my spiffing blue tie I'll have you shot. That said, thanks for coming here to help us promote our film. We appreciate it."

  "You can either stop there or get closer and give me a high-five. I'm easy either way"  True comment : I actually don't know whose hand that is. It doesn't match the skin colour of the guy on the right, and I think the guy on the left is using his left hand to steady his camera. And it's not my hand either...

"You can either stop there or get closer and give me a high-five. I'm easy either way" True comment : I actually don't know whose hand that is. It doesn't match the skin colour of the guy on the right, and I think the guy on the left is using his left hand to steady his camera. And it's not my hand either...

  "Your awesome man-bun disgusts and appalls me" "Why else do you think I kept it?"

"Your awesome man-bun disgusts and appalls me"
"Why else do you think I kept it?"

  "I already asked him if I could have his beret when he's done with it, so don't bother asking"

"I already asked him if I could have his beret when he's done with it, so don't bother asking"

 "I'm holding my camera high and blind above the paparazzi rather than shooting through them) and somehow I've achieved celebrity eye-contact! (By which I mean : my camera has)

"I'm holding my camera high and blind above the paparazzi rather than shooting through them) and somehow I've achieved celebrity eye-contact! (By which I mean : my camera has)

  "Once again we both look awesome" "Shut up, baby. I know it"

"Once again we both look awesome"
"Shut up, baby. I know it"

  "Yes, I absolutely understand that you need that beret to look cool more than I do. But I asked first... what can I say?"

"Yes, I absolutely understand that you need that beret to look cool more than I do. But I asked first... what can I say?"

  "You there! You're awesome! And now that the smalltalk is concluded, let me tell you how you're going to pose!"

"You there! You're awesome! And now that the smalltalk is concluded, let me tell you how you're going to pose!"

 Two paparazzi in front of me, and I get the eye-contact. (Or, yes you're right... once again, the Pentax gets the eye-contact while I'm just here being the clown who pushes the buttons)

Two paparazzi in front of me, and I get the eye-contact. (Or, yes you're right... once again, the Pentax gets the eye-contact while I'm just here being the clown who pushes the buttons)

  "Whatever it is you dropped, let me assure you that under no circumstances should you bend down in front of the paparazzi in an attempt to pick it up. Also, I think it's just a bloodstained five pence piece"

"Whatever it is you dropped, let me assure you that under no circumstances should you bend down in front of the paparazzi in an attempt to pick it up. Also, I think it's just a bloodstained five pence piece"

  "Are we in this movie? Well... we're in A movie. Which movie are YOU talking about?"

"Are we in this movie? Well... we're in A movie. Which movie are YOU talking about?"

  "The seamstress assured me that the pattern would make me more streamlined and reduce drag over a quarter mile..."

"The seamstress assured me that the pattern would make me more streamlined and reduce drag over a quarter mile..."

  "No, seriously. I saw Spider-Man do this, and I'm at least as tall as he is so this should totally work..."

"No, seriously. I saw Spider-Man do this, and I'm at least as tall as he is so this should totally work..."

  "Just humour him and say you believe him... it'll make it all easier"

"Just humour him and say you believe him... it'll make it all easier"

 Totally my favourite all-male acapella group. Unless it turns out they're nuclear physics laureates in which case.... you know... they totally rock then, too.

Totally my favourite all-male acapella group. Unless it turns out they're nuclear physics laureates in which case.... you know... they totally rock then, too.

  "Ya want me to look all innocent and guileless? Okay, wait... let me just put my broker on hold..."

"Ya want me to look all innocent and guileless? Okay, wait... let me just put my broker on hold..."

 ...

...

  "Hey baby, hey baby, hey.... no, not you. The hey baby behind you.... yeah, you"

"Hey baby, hey baby, hey.... no, not you. The hey baby behind you.... yeah, you"

  "Left Shoulda! Right Shoulda! ... I don't care, just look over ANY shoulda!!"

"Left Shoulda! Right Shoulda! ... I don't care, just look over ANY shoulda!!"

  "Truth be told, I only actually know who one of these two women is...."

"Truth be told, I only actually know who one of these two women is...."

  "You're going to have to compliment one of us.... just choose already. "

"You're going to have to compliment one of us.... just choose already."

 Woohoo!!

Woohoo!!

So... that was that. Not the premiere London needed, or necessarily even deserved, but I'm glad I was there . Apparently the director and writer of 'McQueen' did show up at The Empire, but that's not where I ended up being. And I still get to add a new premiere to the Archive of Premieres.

And tomorrow.... is another day.

Until next time!

ps. If you ever want to know when I post one of these journals (and that's pretty rare these days but why not be brave/optimistic?), feel free to follow me on Facebook and/or on Twitter.

  COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE FINISH RENOVATING THE ODEON SO THAT WE CAN HAVE PREMIERES IN LONDON AGAIN??

COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE FINISH RENOVATING THE ODEON SO THAT WE CAN HAVE PREMIERES IN LONDON AGAIN??

24 May - 'We Don't Need No Stinkin' Jurassic Park Sequel Premiere Anyway'

May 24th, 2018.

What now seems like 65 million years ago, London used to get movie premieres. They roamed Leicester Square in what seemed like neverending herds, so much so that I plonked down real cash money for the domain name "premieres.co" and everything. Then, for reasons theorised to range from 'Brexit' to 'Dealers' to 'Disney's Accountants Ran The Numbers And Figured Out Something', something changed. Premieres are rare now, verging on, dare one say it, extinct.

So when somebody puts a giant T-Rex near Tower Bridge to quietly photograph a couple of stars in front of early in the morning without inviting fans, before hurriedly shuttling them off to <wherever> and the T-Rex remains in place and is still there in the afternoon.... I quietly shed a tear for once was, and head down there after work.

Here's how it went down:

  "Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard? Here earlier. Delicious. Both of them"

"Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard? Here earlier. Delicious. Both of them"

 As you can see, there are some tiny orange lights beneath the stone meant to simulate (I'm guessing) lava. Clearly, whoever is promoting this movie spared no expense. They did however forget to put in place *ANY* signage identifying the movie anywhere. Well done, movie studio / promotion company!!

As you can see, there are some tiny orange lights beneath the stone meant to simulate (I'm guessing) lava. Clearly, whoever is promoting this movie spared no expense. They did however forget to put in place *ANY* signage identifying the movie anywhere. Well done, movie studio / promotion company!!

  "Awww.... Chris Pratt is so cute. And since he was possibly standing right here less than 6 hours ago, I feel so much closer to him than I would otherwise... " Premieres are truly magical, while I feel like random secret press photocalls have all the cool factor of a card-trick done poorly.

"Awww.... Chris Pratt is so cute. And since he was possibly standing right here less than 6 hours ago, I feel so much closer to him than I would otherwise..." Premieres are truly magical, while I feel like random secret press photocalls have all the cool factor of a card-trick done poorly.

 Just in case you wanted to know, Oscar Fauna was the movie's cinematographer. Which movie? I don't know for sure, since there's no marketing or signage anywhere around. So let's just call the movie being promoted   "Reptile Zoo VII"   for now.

Just in case you wanted to know, Oscar Fauna was the movie's cinematographer. Which movie? I don't know for sure, since there's no marketing or signage anywhere around. So let's just call the movie being promoted "Reptile Zoo VII" for now.

 J.A.Bayona directed a movie about a giant stick that had the voice of Liam Neeson once, I seem to recall. It even had a London Film Festival premiere. Not sure why I'm mentioning it, though.

J.A.Bayona directed a movie about a giant stick that had the voice of Liam Neeson once, I seem to recall. It even had a London Film Festival premiere. Not sure why I'm mentioning it, though.

  "Dodgson! We got Dodgson here!!"  (see? nobody cares....) Meanwhile, I swear I literally heard somebody ask what the dinosaur was for and some guy replied  "I *think* there's a new Jurassic Park movie coming out" . There probably is. Not sure when, not sure where, not sure what it's called.... but the last one did well, so it makes sense there'd be a sequel.... I hope they have a premiere for it when it comes out. That'd be sweet.

"Dodgson! We got Dodgson here!!" (see? nobody cares....)
Meanwhile, I swear I literally heard somebody ask what the dinosaur was for and some guy replied "I *think* there's a new Jurassic Park movie coming out". There probably is. Not sure when, not sure where, not sure what it's called.... but the last one did well, so it makes sense there'd be a sequel.... I hope they have a premiere for it when it comes out. That'd be sweet.

 Chris Pratt is possibly best known for being Starlord in the Guardians of the Galaxy films, the second one of which did not have a London premiere. And neither did Avengers Infinity War. And neither did Black Panther. And neither did Deadpool2. Not even Fifty Shades Freed had a premiere in London this year. Nor Justice League or Wonder Woman (not even that "God's Not Dead II" movie....). They just keep flying the stars in, putting them in hotels, ferrying them to talk shows and screenings, and flying them out again. Sigh..... it's like we (and by extension 'I') don't matter.

Chris Pratt is possibly best known for being Starlord in the Guardians of the Galaxy films, the second one of which did not have a London premiere. And neither did Avengers Infinity War. And neither did Black Panther. And neither did Deadpool2. Not even Fifty Shades Freed had a premiere in London this year. Nor Justice League or Wonder Woman (not even that "God's Not Dead II" movie....). They just keep flying the stars in, putting them in hotels, ferrying them to talk shows and screenings, and flying them out again. Sigh..... it's like we (and by extension 'I') don't matter.

 Bryce Dallas Howard, meanwhile, and entirely randomly, actually, was in both 'The Help' and .... wow.... a couple of movies in the Twilight Saga back in the day. Who knew?

Bryce Dallas Howard, meanwhile, and entirely randomly, actually, was in both 'The Help' and .... wow.... a couple of movies in the Twilight Saga back in the day. Who knew?

 Hilariously, either these two women helping people take photos of themselves in front of the T-Rex were random volunteers who just happened to be wearing khaki, or Universal could only afford to fly the director and three big-name stars all the way to London, put them up in hotels, drive them around, give them meals, fly them to Berlin and Madrid.... but could NOT spring for a single badge or patch of the movie's name for these two women to wear.  Keep sparing that expense, Universal!!

Hilariously, either these two women helping people take photos of themselves in front of the T-Rex were random volunteers who just happened to be wearing khaki, or Universal could only afford to fly the director and three big-name stars all the way to London, put them up in hotels, drive them around, give them meals, fly them to Berlin and Madrid.... but could NOT spring for a single badge or patch of the movie's name for these two women to wear.

Keep sparing that expense, Universal!!

 The movie (let's call it "some movie") had seven producers, three of which (randomly) are Steven Spielberg, Colin Trevorrow, and ... um..... Thomas Tull.

The movie (let's call it "some movie") had seven producers, three of which (randomly) are Steven Spielberg, Colin Trevorrow, and ... um..... Thomas Tull.

 On the other hand, instead of watching yet another blockbuster (yawn) movie, why not consider spending some time supporting live arts like.... erm... this street theatre thing instead? It could be quite inspirational and enlightening.

On the other hand, instead of watching yet another blockbuster (yawn) movie, why not consider spending some time supporting live arts like.... erm... this street theatre thing instead? It could be quite inspirational and enlightening.

  "Forsooth.... thou didst breathe upon me and the stench it doth resemble that of yon carnivore lizard king"

"Forsooth.... thou didst breathe upon me and the stench it doth resemble that of yon carnivore lizard king"

 And remember, movie fans and movie studios of the world : London IS OPEN!!!! ... for drinks.

And remember, movie fans and movie studios of the world : London IS OPEN!!!!
... for drinks.

So... that was that. A premiere that wasn't, but what the hell I'm bored and this might get more views than my 'Quotes from the Poster' section, which struggles to get even a fraction of the number of views I assume videos with titles like "check out my leprosy" and "urban dung beetle time lapse part 3" get.

But whatever. Promote your movies how you want. I'll just be sitting here by myself... talking to myself.

Until next time!! (as long as there's a next time!)

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Archive of Premieres : here
... I used to have an instagram...

  "What about that third Independence Day movie? Are they still making that? Any chance I can get a role in it? I know Jeff Goldblum, damnit!!"   And just because if I don't nobody will, remember : "Reptile Zoo VII" is in cinemas sometime probably relatively soon, with a home video release sometime after that. Check your local Blockbuster for rental release dates....

"What about that third Independence Day movie? Are they still making that? Any chance I can get a role in it? I know Jeff Goldblum, damnit!!"

And just because if I don't nobody will, remember : "Reptile Zoo VII" is in cinemas sometime probably relatively soon, with a home video release sometime after that. Check your local Blockbuster for rental release dates....