London Fashion Week 2017.1

February 17th - 21st, 2017

For the last two years, London Fashion Week's Primary 'space' has been a SoHo Carpark intersection. Before that it was the opulence of Somerset House. This year, it's a large and wide pedestrian footpath across from the Australian High Commission, with a Pret at one end, a Construction Zone at the other, and a massive amount of pedestrian traffic.

Hurray for the elegance and artistry of fashion.

I'll see how many days I make it down there for.

DAY 1

Hats? Handbags? Novelty iPad covers? Oversized earrings? Who knows.... but it's fashion (baby)

Hats? Handbags? Novelty iPad covers? Oversized earrings? Who knows.... but it's fashion (baby)

"If you move back closer to that bit of street garbage, my photo will make a statement about something really profound. That'll make it Fashion AND Art, baby" (or fART for short, and yes damnit I'm copyrighting that)

"If you move back closer to that bit of street garbage, my photo will make a statement about something really profound. That'll make it Fashion AND Art, baby" (or fART for short, and yes damnit I'm copyrighting that)

"If you could just look slightly less interested in what people think about you wearing such expensive and exclusive clothing that next to nobody could afford let alone want to wear in public, you'll have captured the essence of my brand perfectly....."

"If you could just look slightly less interested in what people think about you wearing such expensive and exclusive clothing that next to nobody could afford let alone want to wear in public, you'll have captured the essence of my brand perfectly....."

The crush at 'BFC Show Space' is a bit too much (even for somebody like me who is used to public pens at a premiere) so I headed over to Somerset House, where London Fashion Week used to be based.

The crush at 'BFC Show Space' is a bit too much (even for somebody like me who is used to public pens at a premiere) so I headed over to Somerset House, where London Fashion Week used to be based.

"I'm telling you Jack, we can sell these for thousands if we convince people it's fashion and not workwear".

"I'm telling you Jack, we can sell these for thousands if we convince people it's fashion and not workwear".

Sunbeams sold separately.

Sunbeams sold separately.

"I was told that the skirt was still too short."

"I was told that the skirt was still too short."

Square glasses, beret and a DSLR. If this look could be any cooler, I'm going to have to buy myself some square glasses and a beret.

Square glasses, beret and a DSLR. If this look could be any cooler, I'm going to have to buy myself some square glasses and a beret.

As at right now, I can only apologetically restate that this London Fashion Week has thus far failed to provide the expected weirdness and hilarity that could justify me hanging around the self-professed beautiful people. Right now it only looks vaguely stylish in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.

As at right now, I can only apologetically restate that this London Fashion Week has thus far failed to provide the expected weirdness and hilarity that could justify me hanging around the self-professed beautiful people. Right now it only looks vaguely stylish in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable.

"You've changed, Barbara." "I skinned the rabbit myself.... that's how much fashion means to me" "That's not actually what I .... ewwwww"

"You've changed, Barbara."
"I skinned the rabbit myself.... that's how much fashion means to me"
"That's not actually what I .... ewwwww"

"Shhh... can't talk. Updating my fashion blog" "Shhh... can't talk. Updating my instagram"

"Shhh... can't talk. Updating my fashion blog"
"Shhh... can't talk. Updating my instagram"

So that was Day 1. I gotta be honest.... I like the photos, but I miss the madness. Perhaps tomorrow will bring some.

DAY 2

Oh, great. These Asshole protesters are back again. By which I'd like to clarify : I don't object to their views, I object to the PROTESTERS themselves. At a purely base level, they're spouting about a dozen different messages from anti-fur to animal testing to anti-meat to veganism to (if you read the chalk) f**king cannibalism (!), and if they're against Chinese (allegedly) killing dogs, then why they protest outside the Chinese embassy? Their protests are vague and ill-focussed and delivered by insipid malcontents.

And file note : if you're trying to change peoples' minds about something, one way to make absolutely certain your message is lost is by being so obnoxious that all anyone can focus on is what a bunch of annoying assholes you are. Rather than your message, say.

Nice wordplay, though. Kudos. ("Cannibalism Insanity??")

Nice wordplay, though. Kudos.
("Cannibalism Insanity??")

"The noise of the protesters can never drown out how fabulous we look. Also I had six skittles for lunch - I don't think they suffered."

"The noise of the protesters can never drown out how fabulous we look. Also I had six skittles for lunch - I don't think they suffered."

Well... except the Justin Bieber ones. Those ones are dumb.

Well... except the Justin Bieber ones. Those ones are dumb.

"First fur and then Bieber and now this. Why does London Fashion Week have to get so political?"

"First fur and then Bieber and now this. Why does London Fashion Week have to get so political?"

"I didn't kill any animals to make this top. Just a couple of homeless people, plus I polluted a river with the dye-work. But nobody protests that..."

"I didn't kill any animals to make this top. Just a couple of homeless people, plus I polluted a river with the dye-work. But nobody protests that..."

"I'm afraid of heights, Barry. You KNOW that...."

"I'm afraid of heights, Barry. You KNOW that...."

It's not a box for putting things in, it's actually this year's must-have fashion accessory.

It's not a box for putting things in, it's actually this year's must-have fashion accessory.

Wow. It's been this year's must-have fashion accessory for all of five minutes, and now people are already wearing it ironically.

Wow. It's been this year's must-have fashion accessory for all of five minutes, and now people are already wearing it ironically.

"I don't want to tempt fate, but you realise if you get hit by a car it's going to be an amazing way to end the photoshoot"

"I don't want to tempt fate, but you realise if you get hit by a car it's going to be an amazing way to end the photoshoot"

"Guys? I'm not even here for London Fashion Week. So either mug me and get it over with, or let me go."

"Guys? I'm not even here for London Fashion Week. So either mug me and get it over with, or let me go."

"I've been hearing them protest about fur for two hours and I could really go for a burger right about now".

"I've been hearing them protest about fur for two hours and I could really go for a burger right about now".

DAY 3

This Mercedes AMG has been parked in the same spot every day of LFW so far. There's every chance it's simply a prop car.

This Mercedes AMG has been parked in the same spot every day of LFW so far. There's every chance it's simply a prop car.

"Give me anger! You HATE the camera! You DESPISE the camera!! ... okay, now you're making the camera feel bad. Please apologise...."

"Give me anger! You HATE the camera! You DESPISE the camera!! ... okay, now you're making the camera feel bad. Please apologise...."

"help me, London Fashion Week. You're my only hope..."

"help me, London Fashion Week. You're my only hope..."

"I was given to understand there'd be free popcorn?" - sadly in comparison to last year's SoHo ParkingGarage venue, so far there's been nobody handing out free gourmet popcorn or obscure sugary/sugar-free energy drinks at London Fashion Week. Damnit...

"I was given to understand there'd be free popcorn?" - sadly in comparison to last year's SoHo ParkingGarage venue, so far there's been nobody handing out free gourmet popcorn or obscure sugary/sugar-free energy drinks at London Fashion Week. Damnit...

"Where did that guy with the spray-can go??"

"Where did that guy with the spray-can go??"

"The protesters are pretty much targeting anyone wearing fur... or what looks like fur... or might sound or feel like fur. Quite frankly. if you've got better than average hair, it's best to stay away."

"The protesters are pretty much targeting anyone wearing fur... or what looks like fur... or might sound or feel like fur. Quite frankly. if you've got better than average hair, it's best to stay away."

"You really think I'm cute!!? If only I was about 20 years older and you were about 40 years younger..."

"You really think I'm cute!!? If only I was about 20 years older and you were about 40 years younger..."

"We're not models. We're being ironic"

"We're not models. We're being ironic"

And because despite their undeniable enthusiasm the Fur Protesters survive on a diet low in iron and high in self-esteem, I was able to leave London Fashion Week Day 3 before they finished their megaphone test.

DAY 4

"I'm trying to take a photo of that balustrade behind you.... could you please get out of the way??" - London Fashion Week and London Architecture Week should never be allowed to coincide...

"I'm trying to take a photo of that balustrade behind you.... could you please get out of the way??" - London Fashion Week and London Architecture Week should never be allowed to coincide...

"Too much shopping is a relative term, Frank."

"Too much shopping is a relative term, Frank."

The camera strap shows that she shoots Sony while at Fashion Week I tend to shoot Pentax, but you know I think we could still make it work.

The camera strap shows that she shoots Sony while at Fashion Week I tend to shoot Pentax, but you know I think we could still make it work.

"Of course I'm aware I'm casting a perfect silhouette. So much so that if the phone rings I'm not answering it. Not until the sun sets or it clouds over first"

"Of course I'm aware I'm casting a perfect silhouette. So much so that if the phone rings I'm not answering it. Not until the sun sets or it clouds over first"

"I didn't know they were called BICYCLES, Janet. I'm a fashion model. Unless I've used it as a prop or can smoke it, I'm not really interested"

"I didn't know they were called BICYCLES, Janet. I'm a fashion model. Unless I've used it as a prop or can smoke it, I'm not really interested"

"It's art, sure. But it was a really expensive coat before my husband took a sharpie to it"

"It's art, sure. But it was a really expensive coat before my husband took a sharpie to it"

"I could really go for lunch. Two or three calories should see me through til the weekend...."

"I could really go for lunch. Two or three calories should see me through til the weekend...."

"Wear a helmet for safety? If you had any idea how I'd design it, you'd know it wouldn't be safer."

"Wear a helmet for safety? If you had any idea how I'd design it, you'd know it wouldn't be safer."

"I'm not really sure what I'm looking at here."

"I'm not really sure what I'm looking at here."

"I'm going to stand here for a maximum five, six minutes more. So take these photos while you can. And make sure to hashtag them accurately."

"I'm going to stand here for a maximum five, six minutes more. So take these photos while you can. And make sure to hashtag them accurately."

"I'm running so late I'm basically early...."

"I'm running so late I'm basically early...."

And that? Is the end of another London Fashion Week.

until next time *air kiss* *air kiss*

Feel free to check out my archive of fashion week street photography journals at:

London Fashion Week 2010.1 - fashion?
London Fashion Week 2012.1 - fashion!
London Fashion Week 2013.1 - fashion!!
London Fashion Week 2013.2 - fashion!!!
London Fashion Week 2014.1 - fashion!!!!
London Fashion Week 2015.1 - fashion!!!!!
London Fashion Week 2016.1 - fashion!!!!!!
London Fashion Week 2016.2 - fashion!!!!!!!

You may also feel free to invite me to photograph your runway show(s), swimsuit model(s) or weird cat clothing designs. You know... if you want.

You can also comment on this journal, complain about this journal, ignore this journal or follow me on twitter or facebook to find out whenever I post one of these journals.

The 2017 Elle Style Awards in some kind of doorway

February 13th, 2017.

I thought last year's Elle Style Awards were very cool - insofar as I am somebody capable of making such a judgement. They were held at the Tate Britain and attended by such luminaries as Karlie Kloss, Rosie Huntington-Whitely, Elizabeth Olsen, Noomi Rapace, Liv Tyler and Stella McCartney.

This year? Well, there was a doorway and some branded planter boxes, the event wasn't publicised, and the highest profile award recipient (who is also on the cover of the latest issue of the magazine) didn't deign to attend. It's hard to believe that 24hrs ago I was in the front row photographing The 2017 Baftas.....

Still, here's how it went down:

Feel the glamour. Feel the glitz. (Feel the frostbite.)

Feel the glamour. Feel the glitz. (Feel the frostbite.)

"Hello and welcome to the Elle Style Awards. To celebrate, the operation of this bus stop has been suspended for the duration of the event."

"Hello and welcome to the Elle Style Awards. To celebrate, the operation of this bus stop has been suspended for the duration of the event."

I'm trying to make this look sexy. (edited to add : she's Sam Rollinson, and mostly succeeding under the circumstances)

I'm trying to make this look sexy.
(edited to add : she's
Sam Rollinson, and mostly succeeding under the circumstances)

"I'm at the address. Where is the giant banner? Didn't we organise a giant banner?"

"I'm at the address. Where is the giant banner? Didn't we organise a giant banner?"

<to be identified Later> (Me, Later : Iskra Lawrence.) (Me, even Later : Thanks) (Me, slightly earlier : You're welcome) (what... I've watched Arrival. It's possible)

<to be identified Later>
(Me, Later : Iskra Lawrence.)
(Me, even Later : Thanks)
(Me, slightly earlier : You're welcome) (what... I've watched Arrival. It's possible)

<to be identified later> (edited to add : Maya Jama, which when you say it sounds like it's got to be a fake/ made-up name)

<to be identified later>
(edited to add : Maya Jama, which when you say it sounds like it's got to be a fake/ made-up name)

"February 13th. Every day I wake up and remember : Sadly I'm not Batman"

"February 13th. Every day I wake up and remember : Sadly I'm not Batman"

Some kind of fashion designer? Glasses Model? Rogue Accountant? (edited to add : he's Erdem Moralioglu, which is a name so awesome I refuse to do more research on who it belongs to)

Some kind of fashion designer? Glasses Model? Rogue Accountant?
(edited to add : he's Erdem Moralioglu, which is a name so awesome I refuse to do more research on who it belongs to)

<to be identified later>

<to be identified later>

"Is this cool? It's how I want my album cover to look" - excitingly, I actually know who Ellie Bamber is. Last year alone she was in (and at the premieres of) "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" and "Nocturnal Animals"

"Is this cool? It's how I want my album cover to look" - excitingly, I actually know who Ellie Bamber is. Last year alone she was in (and at the premieres of) "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" and "Nocturnal Animals"

True to form in all (or most things) fashion related, I don't know who this is. But the white-balance on my camera is enjoying the freedom to do whatever it wants in this lighting. (edited to add : Neelam Gill)

True to form in all (or most things) fashion related, I don't know who this is. But the white-balance on my camera is enjoying the freedom to do whatever it wants in this lighting. (edited to add : Neelam Gill)

I don't know who this, but good news : gang signs among the elderly are getting more commonplace.

I don't know who this, but good news : gang signs among the elderly are getting more commonplace.

Riz Ahmed was at yesterday's Baftas and at the premiere (or-whatever-the-thing-they-did-for-Rogue-One-was-but-I-hated it) for Rogue One last year.

Riz Ahmed was at yesterday's Baftas and at the premiere (or-whatever-the-thing-they-did-for-Rogue-One-was-but-I-hated it) for Rogue One last year.

Excitingly (but also crushingly as it shows how old I am) I know who Debbie Harry is. I don't know style, though - so I didn't know pink camouflage was a thing until right now.

Excitingly (but also crushingly as it shows how old I am) I know who Debbie Harry is. I don't know style, though - so I didn't know pink camouflage was a thing until right now.

"Let me go one step further... how many of you have PARENTS who are too young to remember me?"

"Let me go one step further... how many of you have PARENTS who are too young to remember me?"

I don't know who this is, but the hair is amazing *note : my threshold for hair amazingness is fairly low. (edited to add : Henry Holland)

I don't know who this is, but the hair is amazing *note : my threshold for hair amazingness is fairly low. (edited to add : Henry Holland)

"This is style, people! Check my invite to the event. It's proof!" Excitingly, we've now hit the third (fourth?) person at this event that I recognise : Beth Ditto is (was?) the lead singer of the band Gossip.

"This is style, people! Check my invite to the event. It's proof!" Excitingly, we've now hit the third (fourth?) person at this event that I recognise : Beth Ditto is (was?) the lead singer of the band Gossip.

Pretty and as yet Unknown. In my limited field of knowledge, that is. (edited to add : Izzy Bizu, and the analyst in me just can't help being awed by the fact that 3/8ths of the letters in her full name are the letter 'z'!)

Pretty and as yet Unknown. In my limited field of knowledge, that is.
(edited to add : Izzy Bizu, and the analyst in me just can't help being awed by the fact that 3/8ths of the letters in her full name are the letter 'z'!)

Some dude, and also unkown. I could check wireimage.com but right now I'm tiiiired, and I'm not paid enough to do go that extra distance right now.

Some dude, and also unkown. I could check wireimage.com but right now I'm tiiiired, and I'm not paid enough to do go that extra distance right now.

I don't know who this is, but I'm impressed by my own composition of this shot. And some days that's enough to make getting out of bed worthwhile. (edited to add : Alice Della)

I don't know who this is, but I'm impressed by my own composition of this shot. And some days that's enough to make getting out of bed worthwhile. (edited to add : Alice Della)

People were shouting out "Alexandra", but then people were shouting out a lot of things, including "What do you mean 'this bus stop is not operational??' ". (edited to add : Arizona Muse)

People were shouting out "Alexandra", but then people were shouting out a lot of things, including "What do you mean 'this bus stop is not operational??' ". (edited to add : Arizona Muse)

Side-view of Actress Thandie Newton. She declined to pose for the Paparazzi (I was in their pen as the entry requirements amounted to "you have a camera? okay, then...." and by the end of the night that had extended to 'you have a mobile phone with a camera? okay, then...")

Side-view of Actress Thandie Newton. She declined to pose for the Paparazzi (I was in their pen as the entry requirements amounted to "you have a camera? okay, then...." and by the end of the night that had extended to 'you have a mobile phone with a camera? okay, then...")

Probably the biggest named attendee of the evening (sorry, Riz Ahmed!) was fashion designer Vivienne Westwood. According to the mighty wikipedia, she was named British Designer of the Year in 1990, 1991 and 2006 - and I was massively impressed when I saw she'd been name-checked withinin the world of the latest Final Fantasy game (XV) as the wedding dress designer of the lead female.

Probably the biggest named attendee of the evening (sorry, Riz Ahmed!) was fashion designer Vivienne Westwood. According to the mighty wikipedia, she was named British Designer of the Year in 1990, 1991 and 2006 - and I was massively impressed when I saw she'd been name-checked withinin the world of the latest Final Fantasy game (XV) as the wedding dress designer of the lead female.

"Lady Lunafreya? Nice kid. Wonder whatever happened to her..."

"Lady Lunafreya? Nice kid. Wonder whatever happened to her..."

So.. that was that. I'm not going to lie, I've had better, more inspiring events I've photographed, but rarely so soon after an event that was as massive as yesterday's Baftas, and perhaps more disappointing in comparison to the event itself in the prior year. And the non-attendance of Emma Watson, after all the promotion of her front cover and being an inspiration, was puzzling.

Still... as a precursor to London Fashion week, it serves a purpose. And since I was burning numerous calories while standing outside in the blistering cold, I probably lost some weight. And most of us, myself included,  can afford to lose some weight.

And it's another one for the Archive of Movie premieres, the next event of which will be an *actual* premiere.

Until next time!

Btw : if you want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on Facebook, Twitter, or in person but I'm a fast walker and have boring hobbies.

The 2016 British Fashion Awards

December 5th, 2016.

As this year draws to a close, I'm slowly running out of events to photograph. I said 'no' to BIFA yesterday - the British Independent Film Awards - because, basically, f**k BIFA (except when we're talking about the British Independent Freight Association : those guys f**king rock).

But fashion? Baby, Fashion is what I do! (when I'm not wearing off-brand jumpers, no-name jeans, and the cheapest Nikes that sweatshop labour can buy that is)

And this year, like last year, I made it to the British Fashion Awards (meaning : some distance therefrom). Here's how it went down:

Unlike last year, when they were held in some theatre whose name escapes me, this year the British Fashion Awards were held in the opulence, grandeur, and "can't you see that British Fashion is struggling in these hard and austerity-riddled times?" Royal Albert Hall.

Unlike last year, when they were held in some theatre whose name escapes me, this year the British Fashion Awards were held in the opulence, grandeur, and "can't you see that British Fashion is struggling in these hard and austerity-riddled times?" Royal Albert Hall.

If this is fashion designer Jean Paul Gaultier, then woohoo, I've photographed fashion designer Jean-Paul Gaultier. If it's not... then damnit I arrived too late to photograph Jean Paul Gaultier. (edited to add : he's not Jean Paul Gaultier)

If this is fashion designer Jean Paul Gaultier, then woohoo, I've photographed fashion designer Jean-Paul Gaultier. If it's not... then damnit I arrived too late to photograph Jean Paul Gaultier.
(edited to add : he's not Jean Paul Gaultier)

"This thing? Oh, it achieved sentience hours ago. It's currently hacking into the NSA and flirting with the cute A.I. they've got stored there..."

"This thing? Oh, it achieved sentience hours ago. It's currently hacking into the NSA and flirting with the cute A.I. they've got stored there..."

I don't know about you, but at any given venue I go to, I always look for signs with arrows pointing towards wherever Public Access is Not.

I don't know about you, but at any given venue I go to, I always look for signs with arrows pointing towards wherever Public Access is Not.

In what might become a running theme for tonight, I have no idea who this is. Or why they'd kill so many baby birds to make that dress. (edited to ad : Natalie Massenet)(additionally edited to add : who?)

In what might become a running theme for tonight, I have no idea who this is. Or why they'd kill so many baby birds to make that dress. (edited to ad : Natalie Massenet)(additionally edited to add : who?)

"These people on the list? They're all more famous than me, and will be wearing less clothing in these winter temperatures than I am right now.... so who's the fool?"

"These people on the list? They're all more famous than me, and will be wearing less clothing in these winter temperatures than I am right now.... so who's the fool?"

"... I'm not sure I assembled this dress correctly..."

"... I'm not sure I assembled this dress correctly..."

"It doesn't matter if you don't know who I am, just so long as you photograph my necklace swishing stylishly. My whole ensemble depends on it"

"It doesn't matter if you don't know who I am, just so long as you photograph my necklace swishing stylishly. My whole ensemble depends on it"

"I don't care how many of your damn metal detectors my dress is setting off. This isn't about safety and security, you brutes : this is about ART!" (edited to add : I think this might be Cheryl Cole?)

"I don't care how many of your damn metal detectors my dress is setting off. This isn't about safety and security, you brutes : this is about ART!" (edited to add : I think this might be Cheryl Cole?)

"Please ask me Who I'm wearing. Also : please don't convert this photo into black'n'white or else you'll make them cry"

"Please ask me Who I'm wearing. Also : please don't convert this photo into black'n'white or else you'll make them cry"

Oh, damnit. I just photographed frikkin' Jaden Smith. (How could I let this happen? I used to be COOL)

Oh, damnit. I just photographed frikkin' Jaden Smith.
(How could I let this happen? I used to be COOL)

"Bare shoulders and this thing with my sleeves are totally 2019! ...what do you mean "I'm Early"?"

"Bare shoulders and this thing with my sleeves are totally 2019!
...what do you mean "I'm Early"?"

I don't know who these people are, I don't know what colour their hair is, and in related news, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here.

I don't know who these people are, I don't know what colour their hair is, and in related news, I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here.

"What do you mean this isn't the queue for KFC?"

"What do you mean this isn't the queue for KFC?"

I heard people shout out "Amber!!" but I think the haircolour is more of a burnt russet, actually.

I heard people shout out "Amber!!" but I think the haircolour is more of a burnt russet, actually.

"That man behind us is wearing an orange-coloured hooodie, Gerald. Did you hear me? ORANGE."

"That man behind us is wearing an orange-coloured hooodie, Gerald. Did you hear me? ORANGE."

(Man at right): "I'm edgier than you, Manson. I've brushed my hair, flossed my teeth and clipped my nails with things that are edgier...."

(Man at right): "I'm edgier than you, Manson. I've brushed my hair, flossed my teeth and clipped my nails with things that are edgier...."

"Buy my new album : it's classic jazz!!" Marilyn Manson may indeed have lost a bit of edge. Or maybe my hearing at this distance isn't entirely reliable.

"Buy my new album : it's classic jazz!!" Marilyn Manson may indeed have lost a bit of edge. Or maybe my hearing at this distance isn't entirely reliable.

People across from me were screaming out for "David!!", but that's a pretty common name, and not particularly helpful. But it's all I have for now.

People across from me were screaming out for "David!!", but that's a pretty common name, and not particularly helpful. But it's all I have for now.

"Oh, this thing? I just threw it on. I do my housework wearing it..."

"Oh, this thing? I just threw it on. I do my housework wearing it..."

I don't know who this is, but if it's you (or her agent) I'd be happy to have a second, third and possibly fourth attempt at taking better photos at a distance about 19/20ths closer than I'm standing from her right now.

I don't know who this is, but if it's you (or her agent) I'd be happy to have a second, third and possibly fourth attempt at taking better photos at a distance about 19/20ths closer than I'm standing from her right now.

....and for the next 300 frames, this is the closest that model Karlie Kloss faced in my direction. The chances of her scoring a special, hard-to-get St Albans Christmas card from me right now are slim, pending a heartfelt apology.

....and for the next 300 frames, this is the closest that model Karlie Kloss faced in my direction. The chances of her scoring a special, hard-to-get St Albans Christmas card from me right now are slim, pending a heartfelt apology.

Some three hundred frames later, and I'm pretty glad the battery life on the Nikon is still coping with the framerate I'm asking of it. Sadly, space on the memory card is nowhere near as infinite, and I've had to downgrade the image sizes I'm shooting. Sigh.

Some three hundred frames later, and I'm pretty glad the battery life on the Nikon is still coping with the framerate I'm asking of it. Sadly, space on the memory card is nowhere near as infinite, and I've had to downgrade the image sizes I'm shooting. Sigh.

I've never seen a Bugatti Veyron in the 'wild' before...

I've never seen a Bugatti Veyron in the 'wild' before...

"It's actually got remarkable thermal properties. The inside of the Mercedes I just stepped out of, I mean. The dress I'm wearing, on the other hand... it does nothing."

"It's actually got remarkable thermal properties. The inside of the Mercedes I just stepped out of, I mean. The dress I'm wearing, on the other hand... it does nothing."

"That jacket looks hideous but it's warm and I'm cold. It's almost like there's a downside to being young and beautiful". This message brought to you by somebody who is older and warmer.

"That jacket looks hideous but it's warm and I'm cold. It's almost like there's a downside to being young and beautiful". This message brought to you by somebody who is older and warmer.

Th first photo from this event that I really like : Eva Herzigova, in black'n'white.

Th first photo from this event that I really like : Eva Herzigova, in black'n'white.

The first time I photographed Jenna Coleman was at the Titanic in 3D premiere back in 2012, right here at the Royal Albert Hall. She seems to be looking -if anything- slightly younger now.

The first time I photographed Jenna Coleman was at the Titanic in 3D premiere back in 2012, right here at the Royal Albert Hall. She seems to be looking -if anything- slightly younger now.

Assistant : "The bill for the portable wind-generator is catastrophic" Model : "It's worth every penny, Gerald. Don't you dare turn it off. EVER" - this is possibly one of the members of the band 'The Saturdays' (are they still relevant?)

Assistant : "The bill for the portable wind-generator is catastrophic"
Model : "It's worth every penny, Gerald. Don't you dare turn it off. EVER" - this is possibly one of the members of the band 'The Saturdays' (are they still relevant?)

I don't know who this is, but the name on the necklace is "Bebe". (I had to look closely. For... clues, you understand)

I don't know who this is, but the name on the necklace is "Bebe". (I had to look closely. For... clues, you understand)

Model Jourdan Dunn is so tall I had to improvise.

Model Jourdan Dunn is so tall I had to improvise.

"You're totally allowed to drape an untied tie over the top of a bow-tie. Nobody says you're not" - this is actor Domhnall Gleeson, best known for being in Ex Machina (or that Star Wars Reboot movie from last year that everyone has sadly failed to forget).

"You're totally allowed to drape an untied tie over the top of a bow-tie. Nobody says you're not" - this is actor Domhnall Gleeson, best known for being in Ex Machina (or that Star Wars Reboot movie from last year that everyone has sadly failed to forget).

"You're not being subtle. Also, you GAVE me that necklace" - former supermodel Twiggy.

"You're not being subtle. Also, you GAVE me that necklace" - former supermodel Twiggy.

I don't know who this is, but I'm liking the jumper enough that I would possibly stop short of offering her my jacket for although it's warm, it's also black and rather unstylish in comparison.

I don't know who this is, but I'm liking the jumper enough that I would possibly stop short of offering her my jacket for although it's warm, it's also black and rather unstylish in comparison.

I believe this is model Erin O'Connor, and I also believe that's a look of disdain aimed at me that might penetrate beyond just my immediate life choices.

I believe this is model Erin O'Connor, and I also believe that's a look of disdain aimed at me that might penetrate beyond just my immediate life choices.

"Ovah Mah Left Shouldah Dahlin'? That's all you have to say, here in 2016??" - Abigail Clancy

"Ovah Mah Left Shouldah Dahlin'? That's all you have to say, here in 2016??"
- Abigail Clancy

In terms of total volume of screams and pleas of autograph dealers, Gigi Hadid was possibly the winner on the evening. I have no idea who she is, but the fact that she declined to sign autographs speaks highly of her.

In terms of total volume of screams and pleas of autograph dealers, Gigi Hadid was possibly the winner on the evening. I have no idea who she is, but the fact that she declined to sign autographs speaks highly of her.

"Left Shoulda? Very well identified, random street photographer..."

"Left Shoulda? Very well identified, random street photographer..."

Anna Wintour has been editor-in-chief of Vogue ever since Seoul, South Korea hosted the Summer Olympic Games.

Anna Wintour has been editor-in-chief of Vogue ever since Seoul, South Korea hosted the Summer Olympic Games.

Salma Hayek has shown up recently at events as disparate as the "I Am Bolt" premiere last week and the 2016 Evening Standard Theatre Awards. I also photographed her earlier this year at the premiere of "Tale of Tales" a movie she's in.

Salma Hayek has shown up recently at events as disparate as the "I Am Bolt" premiere last week and the 2016 Evening Standard Theatre Awards. I also photographed her earlier this year at the premiere of "Tale of Tales" a movie she's in.

"He's still doing that creepy thing behind me isn't he? Damn... pretty sure my people asked his people to tell him to stop. And they were holding baseball bats when they did so" (editd to add : Lily Donaldson, Victoria's Secret Model)

"He's still doing that creepy thing behind me isn't he? Damn... pretty sure my people asked his people to tell him to stop. And they were holding baseball bats when they did so"
(editd to add : Lily Donaldson, Victoria's Secret Model)

"And you're absolutely sure that maroon capes are in? Because I'm taking an awful risk, Damian" - Jard Leto is the current incarnation of DC's villainous Joker, and I last photographed him wearing something very green at the premiere of Suicide Squad.

"And you're absolutely sure that maroon capes are in? Because I'm taking an awful risk, Damian" - Jard Leto is the current incarnation of DC's villainous Joker, and I last photographed him wearing something very green at the premiere of Suicide Squad.

"This is a military uniform, people. I'm not telling you which part of the armed forces, but you may assume they're the most fabulous one"

"This is a military uniform, people. I'm not telling you which part of the armed forces, but you may assume they're the most fabulous one"

It's really late as I'm posting these, and I just skipped past posting a photo of model Lara Stone to bring you this gentleman. And I have no idea who he is. (edited to add : designer Ralph Lauren - woohoo, a good random catch!)

It's really late as I'm posting these, and I just skipped past posting a photo of model Lara Stone to bring you this gentleman. And I have no idea who he is.
(edited to add : designer Ralph Lauren - woohoo, a good random catch!)

"The tiara? I stole it off some six year old girl. I deserved it more than she did, especially considering how little of a fight she put up...." - Pixie Lott

"The tiara? I stole it off some six year old girl. I deserved it more than she did, especially considering how little of a fight she put up...." - Pixie Lott

"This dress is classy and muted, so just make sure if I'm standing anywhere near somebody wearing something obscenely coloured like neon yellow, that you crop them out of the picture, yeah?" Uh... sure.

"This dress is classy and muted, so just make sure if I'm standing anywhere near somebody wearing something obscenely coloured like neon yellow, that you crop them out of the picture, yeah?" Uh... sure.

Guy at far left : "Hey - how come none of you girls are tweeting and snapchatting photos of me? I can totally Fashion!!" - I feel ya, bro.

Guy at far left : "Hey - how come none of you girls are tweeting and snapchatting photos of me? I can totally Fashion!!" - I feel ya, bro.

Actor Douglas Booth - still best known for being in the Wachowski Siblings' Jupiter Ascending. He's going to need a starring role in a Tarantino or Christopher Nolan movie to depose that film from the #1 on his imdb's credits, I feel.

Actor Douglas Booth - still best known for being in the Wachowski Siblings' Jupiter Ascending. He's going to need a starring role in a Tarantino or Christopher Nolan movie to depose that film from the #1 on his imdb's credits, I feel.

I don' t know who this is, but if she walks past again I'd offer her my jacket (even or especially now that I'm back at home at my laptop typing this).

I don' t know who this is, but if she walks past again I'd offer her my jacket (even or especially now that I'm back at home at my laptop typing this).

Donnatella Versace is worth about US$2.3 billion and has an annual salary in the region of half a billion euros, which is nice. I believe her surname is pronounced "Ver-Sayce". I heard it in a movie once.

Donnatella Versace is worth about US$2.3 billion and has an annual salary in the region of half a billion euros, which is nice. I believe her surname is pronounced "Ver-Sayce". I heard it in a movie once.

"Obviously I want you to look, stare and photograph. Do you think I'd be wearing this thing in this kind of weather if I wanted to be ignored??" - Nicole Scherzinger, along with various bits of string.

"Obviously I want you to look, stare and photograph. Do you think I'd be wearing this thing in this kind of weather if I wanted to be ignored??" - Nicole Scherzinger, along with various bits of string.

"This is my new pose. Yes, I know it's good.... I just haven't given it a name yet...."

"This is my new pose. Yes, I know it's good.... I just haven't given it a name yet...."

"That zebra had a unique pattern.... but it would never have survived in the wild long..." (edited to add : NOT a random attendee, but rather Hamish Bowles) (please don't ask me who Hamish Bowles is... I'm not that much into fashion. Or paintballing)

"That zebra had a unique pattern.... but it would never have survived in the wild long..."
(edited to add : NOT a random attendee, but rather Hamish Bowles) (please don't ask me who Hamish Bowles is... I'm not that much into fashion. Or paintballing)

A car stops so close to the red carpet it might as well have left tyre tracks on it.... and out comes Lady Gaga, not wearing a dress made out of meat or bees or a boardgame from the 1950s.

A car stops so close to the red carpet it might as well have left tyre tracks on it.... and out comes Lady Gaga, not wearing a dress made out of meat or bees or a boardgame from the 1950s.

"A choice of singing a song for assembled fans outside versus snacking on free canapes inside? I'm going to do what I think y'all would do in my place...."

"A choice of singing a song for assembled fans outside versus snacking on free canapes inside? I'm going to do what I think y'all would do in my place...."

Photographer Mario Testino took model Rosie Huntington-Whitely to be his date to last year's British Fashion Awards.... and this year it's Kate Moss. I'll be honest, I can't quite claim to have the same level of mad dating skillz, or a tuxedo that sharp.

Photographer Mario Testino took model Rosie Huntington-Whitely to be his date to last year's British Fashion Awards.... and this year it's Kate Moss. I'll be honest, I can't quite claim to have the same level of mad dating skillz, or a tuxedo that sharp.

And then it was more or less time to leave, and to offer whatever combination of blood, goats and firstborns required to get public transport to take me home in a way that some third world countries might call 'reliable' (big f**k you, as always, to my privatised train company 'Govia').

And then it was more or less time to leave, and to offer whatever combination of blood, goats and firstborns required to get public transport to take me home in a way that some third world countries might call 'reliable' (big f**k you, as always, to my privatised train company 'Govia').

So.... that was that, and it was something, and it brings to a close my year in Fashion - covering the Elle Style Awards, and both London Fashion Week 2016.1 and 2016.2 Until next time!

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals (fashion, awards, or more typically movie premieres) feel free to follow me on Facebook at premieresdotco, or on Twitter at @berndt2_photo (or both).