22 Mar - The 'Batman v Superman : Dawn of Justice' European Premiere

March 22nd, 2016.

Well...this was a big one (so grab a tea, coffee, or redbull for this one). It had everything from the wristbands being handed out one day early, to them being colour-coded to one of eight colours signifying different pens covering not one but TWO cinemas in Leicester Square, to bag checks and metal scans (which would seem redundant since Batman, Superman AND Wonder Woman would be there to keep us safe!)...and that was before it even started!

And testament to the variable amount of smart-ness I bring to these events (?), I figured for this massive premiere that I'd pick the most ridiculous pen on the basis of barely more than "hey, neat wristband colour!!".

So... Purple Pen it was. And all for a movie I've since watched and like about this // much (feel free to read the incoherent rant I've put online here until I go and edit it). The premiere, however, was pretty good. Here's how it went down:

Early morning setup. The posters are about 1.5 times the usual size, but the giant canvases in the background are the real prize, if you can somehow charter a private van to take it home.

Early morning setup. The posters are about 1.5 times the usual size, but the giant canvases in the background are the real prize, if you can somehow charter a private van to take it home.

So here's where I find myself. The question you're probably asking (because it's very (frikkin') fundamental) is : why would I stand here of all places, where giant non-transparent silver staircase sidings will almost certainly block views of the interviews on the main stage on my right? The answer is : they never tell you about the handrails beforehand (and why would actors playing superheroes need guardrails anyway??).... Argh.

So here's where I find myself. The question you're probably asking (because it's very (frikkin') fundamental) is : why would I stand here of all places, where giant non-transparent silver staircase sidings will almost certainly block views of the interviews on the main stage on my right? The answer is : they never tell you about the handrails beforehand (and why would actors playing superheroes need guardrails anyway??).... Argh.

Three hours pass... until:

"Yoyoyoyoyo wassup?? Anybody got anything that rhymes with Batman, Superman, WonderWoman or Lex? On second thought, I don't trust you people yet... maybe don't rhyme stuff with "Lex"" Your friend and mine Mr Impact has arrived, remotely-distant DJ Whatever-Happened-To-Green-Lantern in tow.

"Yoyoyoyoyo wassup?? Anybody got anything that rhymes with Batman, Superman, WonderWoman or Lex? On second thought, I don't trust you people yet... maybe don't rhyme stuff with "Lex"" Your friend and mine Mr Impact has arrived, remotely-distant DJ Whatever-Happened-To-Green-Lantern in tow.

"You can have Ben Affleck, but Henry Cavill is all mine. Actually, you know what? I can't decide. In the meantime, you can have Jesse Eisenberg.."

"You can have Ben Affleck, but Henry Cavill is all mine. Actually, you know what? I can't decide. In the meantime, you can have Jesse Eisenberg.."

"I know y'all didn't come for me, but I'm going to bask in the good vibes you're sending out and pretend they're for me" - tonight's on-stage interviewer will be Alex Zane, but I hold out hope that one the organisers will go crazy and let DJ Impact host, and he'll challenge Judi Dench or Dame Helen Mirren to a rap battle, which will be mental.

"I know y'all didn't come for me, but I'm going to bask in the good vibes you're sending out and pretend they're for me" - tonight's on-stage interviewer will be Alex Zane, but I hold out hope that one the organisers will go crazy and let DJ Impact host, and he'll challenge Judi Dench or Dame Helen Mirren to a rap battle, which will be mental.

It's not about the two guys on the giant poster about to punch each other in the face. No... it's about the lone iPhone high in the background in the gap between the fencing barriers. Good luck holding it steady for the next few hours!

It's not about the two guys on the giant poster about to punch each other in the face. No... it's about the lone iPhone high in the background in the gap between the fencing barriers. Good luck holding it steady for the next few hours!

"Hey Frank! Your hair looks ridiculous.  The fringe in front, I mean : the back looks STELLAR"

"Hey Frank! Your hair looks ridiculous.  The fringe in front, I mean : the back looks STELLAR"

<thinks> : "Given one of these guys can fly under his own power, and the other is a billionaire who could just charter his own private jet....so this Turkish Airlines promo is kind of ill-conceived"

<thinks> : "Given one of these guys can fly under his own power, and the other is a billionaire who could just charter his own private jet....so this Turkish Airlines promo is kind of ill-conceived"

This is not our first major arrival (with all due respect to the lady I've photographed) - it's just a test shot to practice long-range down-carpet shots. Feel free to count how many of these are in this journal from this point on. (the number approximates to zero)

This is not our first major arrival (with all due respect to the lady I've photographed) - it's just a test shot to practice long-range down-carpet shots. Feel free to count how many of these are in this journal from this point on. (the number approximates to zero)

And then, after all the rap, all the freeness, all coming to realise that my choice of pens (despite the gloriously glossy vibrant purple wristband) might be among the worst random decisions I could ever make... it has begun.

"I'm bringing cellos back. If they were ever gone, that is" We have our first arrival. And it's a BIG one : composer Hans Zimmer.

"I'm bringing cellos back. If they were ever gone, that is" We have our first arrival. And it's a BIG one : composer Hans Zimmer.

"No, I don't want to hear how you forgot your iPod back in the office". Hans Zimmer scored Man of Steel (as well as all the films in Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy), and I've already bought the soundtrack ahead of the movie, sight unseen (or 'sound unheard' in this case).

"No, I don't want to hear how you forgot your iPod back in the office". Hans Zimmer scored Man of Steel (as well as all the films in Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Trilogy), and I've already bought the soundtrack ahead of the movie, sight unseen (or 'sound unheard' in this case).

Deborah Snyder is one of thirteen producers of this film, but she's actully produced most of her husband's films....and it probably takes about a dozen or more producers to deal with a David S Goyer script anyway. (All of my premiere journals are executively produced by the two potted plants in my apartment).

Deborah Snyder is one of thirteen producers of this film, but she's actully produced most of her husband's films....and it probably takes about a dozen or more producers to deal with a David S Goyer script anyway. (All of my premiere journals are executively produced by the two potted plants in my apartment).

"But I'm Bruce Wayne. This IS my Happy Face." - Ben Affleck has arrived, and he might have been high-fiving and chest-bumping people when my camera was pointed elsewhere.

"But I'm Bruce Wayne. This IS my Happy Face." - Ben Affleck has arrived, and he might have been high-fiving and chest-bumping people when my camera was pointed elsewhere.

"OMG : Henry Cavill just showed up!!! I met him on set of course, but still!!!" Meanwhile, somebody keep an eye on Bowler Hat Dude in the background... he looks interested in quite the opposite way.

"OMG : Henry Cavill just showed up!!! I met him on set of course, but still!!!" Meanwhile, somebody keep an eye on Bowler Hat Dude in the background... he looks interested in quite the opposite way.

I believe this is Ezra Miller, who will play The Flash in upcoming films, assuming this Warners/DC Universe takes off. Which, to be fair, is going to happen no matter how bad these movies are because quality bears no strong correlation to box office in this world.

I believe this is Ezra Miller, who will play The Flash in upcoming films, assuming this Warners/DC Universe takes off. Which, to be fair, is going to happen no matter how bad these movies are because quality bears no strong correlation to box office in this world.

"One of those two clowns is a vigilante freak and the other is an alien menace. I still don't see how I'm the VILLIAN here." Jesse Eisenberg plays the (I'm sure) misunderstood 'hero' Lex Luthor in this film.

"One of those two clowns is a vigilante freak and the other is an alien menace. I still don't see how I'm the VILLIAN here." Jesse Eisenberg plays the (I'm sure) misunderstood 'hero' Lex Luthor in this film.

I think Lex Luthor just realised he forgot the five dollars he still owes me, but is hoping the crazed look on his face will dissuade me from mentioning it.

I think Lex Luthor just realised he forgot the five dollars he still owes me, but is hoping the crazed look on his face will dissuade me from mentioning it.

"I can pay you back the five dollars, but you gotta give me change for a $4million cheque"

"I can pay you back the five dollars, but you gotta give me change for a $4million cheque"

"Don't listen to Lex... he has two assistants carrying suitcases of money with him at all times" This movie's other 0.001%-er, Bruce Wayne, is now on stage.

"Don't listen to Lex... he has two assistants carrying suitcases of money with him at all times" This movie's other 0.001%-er, Bruce Wayne, is now on stage.

"Alex, I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to overshadow your charisma by doing something as minimally awesome as raising my hand in a half-wave. I hope you don't mind...."

"Alex, I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to overshadow your charisma by doing something as minimally awesome as raising my hand in a half-wave. I hope you don't mind...."

"For the purposes of this interview, am I allowed to assume that it's common knowledge that Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same person? And that.. uh.... you as Ben Affleck are a third entirely different and separate person?"

"For the purposes of this interview, am I allowed to assume that it's common knowledge that Bruce Wayne and Batman are the same person? And that.. uh.... you as Ben Affleck are a third entirely different and separate person?"

When you absolutely positively HAVE to photograph director Zack Snyder right now! Mr Snyder directed Man of Steel (not my favourite film but the premiere was good) and Watchmen (which I really liked and the premiere was good)... and also Sucker Punch (which... let's not talk about Sucker Punch).

When you absolutely positively HAVE to photograph director Zack Snyder right now! Mr Snyder directed Man of Steel (not my favourite film but the premiere was good) and Watchmen (which I really liked and the premiere was good)... and also Sucker Punch (which... let's not talk about Sucker Punch).

Director Zack Snyder has arrived in our area, and if there's any chance of me exchanging words with him, I'm wondering.... how do I skirt around the fact that Man of Steel is the only movie in the past DECADE that I walked out of before it ended? (And it wasn't to get more popcorn....)

Director Zack Snyder has arrived in our area, and if there's any chance of me exchanging words with him, I'm wondering.... how do I skirt around the fact that Man of Steel is the only movie in the past DECADE that I walked out of before it ended? (And it wasn't to get more popcorn....)

"Wait... you did WHAT?" The soundtrack was awesome, though. I bought that the next day.

"Wait... you did WHAT?" The soundtrack was awesome, though. I bought that the next day.

"My only regret is that the action scenes didn't seep into both the opening and closing credits as well.." I'm not sure if he's talking about this movie or Man of Steel or conceivably both...

"My only regret is that the action scenes didn't seep into both the opening and closing credits as well.." I'm not sure if he's talking about this movie or Man of Steel or conceivably both...

Actress Holly Hunter won an Oscar for 'The Piano (1994)', but more immediately for photographic purposes it's become necessary to know that she's actually very short. (And no longer wearing the blue dress she arrived wearing).

Actress Holly Hunter won an Oscar for 'The Piano (1994)', but more immediately for photographic purposes it's become necessary to know that she's actually very short. (And no longer wearing the blue dress she arrived wearing).

"Can you get me a ski jacket?... I wanna stay incognito from one photo to the next"

"Can you get me a ski jacket?... I wanna stay incognito from one photo to the next"

Meanwhile, there's a lot to like in this photo : from the scarily intense look on the face of the security dude on the far left, to the person seeminly using a a 1999-era Nokia phone (which if memory serves didn't actually have a camera) on the far right.. and the lovely Amy Adams in the middle.

Meanwhile, there's a lot to like in this photo : from the scarily intense look on the face of the security dude on the far left, to the person seeminly using a a 1999-era Nokia phone (which if memory serves didn't actually have a camera) on the far right.. and the lovely Amy Adams in the middle.

There's never a phone booth around when you want to change costumes, adopt a secret identity, or merely adjust a dress in public.

There's never a phone booth around when you want to change costumes, adopt a secret identity, or merely adjust a dress in public.

"OMG is that ALEX ZANE who's about to interview me? Also I don't know who Alex Zane is"

"OMG is that ALEX ZANE who's about to interview me? Also I don't know who Alex Zane is"

"Oh, look... there's that weasel Bruce Wayne from Gotham running to get his free popcorn" - Well, I guess billionnaires dont' stay rich if they're always buying their OWN popcorn. Also : Amy Adams is alluringly feisty. I... would like to think.

"Oh, look... there's that weasel Bruce Wayne from Gotham running to get his free popcorn" - Well, I guess billionnaires dont' stay rich if they're always buying their OWN popcorn. Also : Amy Adams is alluringly feisty. I... would like to think.

Sadly, for whatever reason or motive, Ben Affleck rushed past us, electing not to sign autographs in our area. That's a pity as I'd actually brought along a photo I took of him at the premiere of Argo in 2012. Next time, maybe. Like, maybe when Ben Affleck is less famous?

Sadly, for whatever reason or motive, Ben Affleck rushed past us, electing not to sign autographs in our area. That's a pity as I'd actually brought along a photo I took of him at the premiere of Argo in 2012. Next time, maybe. Like, maybe when Ben Affleck is less famous?

"I think Ben Affleck signed my picture as a bit of a screw-you to Amy Adams..... is there anything I can do about that?"

"I think Ben Affleck signed my picture as a bit of a screw-you to Amy Adams..... is there anything I can do about that?"

OMG it's Henry Cavill!! The woman to my left looks about eight times giddier than her young son standing next to her. And he's looking pretty excited himself.

OMG it's Henry Cavill!! The woman to my left looks about eight times giddier than her young son standing next to her. And he's looking pretty excited himself.

"Despite being British, I really feel like this background needs an American flag to be waving behind me Alex. Do we have the budget for that?"

"Despite being British, I really feel like this background needs an American flag to be waving behind me Alex. Do we have the budget for that?"

"Bruce Wayne? Nice guy. Weak handshake though. Although everyone has a weak handshake to Superman Alex, if you catch my drift"

"Bruce Wayne? Nice guy. Weak handshake though. Although everyone has a weak handshake to Superman Alex, if you catch my drift"

"Vigilante behaviour is wrong, Alex. How would we be as a planet if people took the law into their own hands.... fighting for Truth, Justice and invading whatever country they want on whatever pretext they have in what I assume is still laughingly referred to as The American Way? Also, I'm British."

"Vigilante behaviour is wrong, Alex. How would we be as a planet if people took the law into their own hands.... fighting for Truth, Justice and invading whatever country they want on whatever pretext they have in what I assume is still laughingly referred to as The American Way? Also, I'm British."

Gal Gadot is one of the few people I've seen who can be equal parts stunning and intimidating wearing a dress like this. I mean... Ben Affleck maybe could also manage the feat, but I don't really want to see that.

Gal Gadot is one of the few people I've seen who can be equal parts stunning and intimidating wearing a dress like this. I mean... Ben Affleck maybe could also manage the feat, but I don't really want to see that.

I've only photographed Gal Gadot once before, when she was Vin Diesel's guest at the premiere of The Last Witch Hunter last year, and where him hugging her signified a material space time continuum breach as it meant DC's WonderWoman was hugging Marvel's Groot. If that destroyed any galaxies it fortunately wasn't ours.

I've only photographed Gal Gadot once before, when she was Vin Diesel's guest at the premiere of The Last Witch Hunter last year, and where him hugging her signified a material space time continuum breach as it meant DC's WonderWoman was hugging Marvel's Groot. If that destroyed any galaxies it fortunately wasn't ours.

"Don't, Clark! Bruce might see" "I want him to see.." "Actually I saw him going back for a second helping of free popcorn.. so smooch away"

"Don't, Clark! Bruce might see"
"I want him to see.."
"Actually I saw him going back for a second helping of free popcorn.. so smooch away"

Henry Cavill looks pretty much like I'd imagine how somebody who just kissed Gal Gadot would look.

Henry Cavill looks pretty much like I'd imagine how somebody who just kissed Gal Gadot would look.

"So... you just kissed Henry Cavill. Please don't break my heart and tell me it was magical, because I just had him up here and I didn't avail myself of the opportunity"

"So... you just kissed Henry Cavill. Please don't break my heart and tell me it was magical, because I just had him up here and I didn't avail myself of the opportunity"

"It was kind of awesome, actually...." "Forget I asked. "

"It was kind of awesome, actually...."
"Forget I asked. "

Meanwhile, in front of me, the expresion on face of Security guard on right says : "Sometimes when he gets into his Awesome Pose he can stand like this for up to ten minutes". It's pretty awesome. Also, file note to self this photo needs an American flag background. If I've got the budget.

Meanwhile, in front of me, the expresion on face of Security guard on right says : "Sometimes when he gets into his Awesome Pose he can stand like this for up to ten minutes". It's pretty awesome. Also, file note to self this photo needs an American flag background. If I've got the budget.

Although there's never been much evidence of any particular kind of male charisma emanating from me in the past year(s)/decade(s)..... just this once I feel like there might be. Evidence certainly suggests Gal Gadot will be heading over to our pen now, possibly for reasons of me. Or whoever is currently standing in the space I'm occupying. Which is me.

Although there's never been much evidence of any particular kind of male charisma emanating from me in the past year(s)/decade(s)..... just this once I feel like there might be. Evidence certainly suggests Gal Gadot will be heading over to our pen now, possibly for reasons of me. Or whoever is currently standing in the space I'm occupying. Which is me.

And for the sake of drama, this is where I'm ending the journal. Feel free to assume whatever happened next is whatever you think happened next. (That's certainly what I intend to do).

And for the sake of drama, this is where I'm ending the journal. Feel free to assume whatever happened next is whatever you think happened next. (That's certainly what I intend to do).

 

So that? Was pretty much that. And Purple Pen ended up being The Little Pen That Could. And so yes, it definitely joins the fun and mayhem of my Archive of Movie Premieres, where it can join the premiere of Man of Steel by being nowhere near it alphabetically.

Until next time! - I've already got my ticket to the 70mm presentation. It should be big! (And it was. Was it GOOD, though? Uh... no. No it wasn't.)

PS. If you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook by clicking here

Until next time!