Premieres

28 Nov 2016 - The 'I Am Bolt' World Premiere

November 28th, 2016.

As a species, we've evolved to the point where I can own a 1996 Nissan Pulsar Sedan (red) that can propel me at speeds no gazelle can easily escape from. Unaccountably, then, we still bestow awards and honours at people whose absolute maximum speed is much slower and typically is only achieved running in mostly a straight line on flat ground in a place where gazelles aren't.

The world doesn't make sense, when you think about it.

Still here's how the premiere of 'I Am Bolt' went down:

My dedication and arrival time provided me with a wristband numbered 32, and a front row in a pen representing my third preference. I suppose if I'd made different choices in my life, I might have won enough gold medals to have my own documentary at which I could have had the pen of my choice.

My dedication and arrival time provided me with a wristband numbered 32, and a front row in a pen representing my third preference. I suppose if I'd made different choices in my life, I might have won enough gold medals to have my own documentary at which I could have had the pen of my choice.

"I'm going to be honest, there's only one person on this four-page list that I want to be interviewing. And it's not one of the bandmembers of The Vamps"

"I'm going to be honest, there's only one person on this four-page list that I want to be interviewing. And it's not one of the bandmembers of The Vamps"

"Are you retweeting my tweet or am I retweeting yours?" "Does it involve cats?" "Obviously"

"Are you retweeting my tweet or am I retweeting yours?"
"Does it involve cats?"
"Obviously"

The eyes seem to follow you everywhere you go. Which would be less of a problem if there weren't posters completely encircling this premiere, making you confront the awful reality that you're unlikely to win 9 Olympic gold medals in our lifetime, even if we take up some of the more obscure ones like curling and steeplechase. Or are already Michael Phelps.

The eyes seem to follow you everywhere you go. Which would be less of a problem if there weren't posters completely encircling this premiere, making you confront the awful reality that you're unlikely to win 9 Olympic gold medals in our lifetime, even if we take up some of the more obscure ones like curling and steeplechase. Or are already Michael Phelps.

Jamaican Dancers (nationality not confirmed) at six degrees celsius.

Jamaican Dancers (nationality not confirmed) at six degrees celsius.

For point of reference, I am currently wearing a t-shirt, thermal jumper, and a jacket with an inserted additional inner lining. I'd offer the lady the use of my thinsulate beanie, but it would clash with her ensemble and she'd be forced to declne.

For point of reference, I am currently wearing a t-shirt, thermal jumper, and a jacket with an inserted additional inner lining. I'd offer the lady the use of my thinsulate beanie, but it would clash with her ensemble and she'd be forced to declne.

"I'm not moving until you've composed this shot properly"  - I even reversed it so that the reflection of the burger franchise worked.

"I'm not moving until you've composed this shot properly" - I even reversed it so that the reflection of the burger franchise worked.

Usain Bolt's Manager and best friend from childhood is every bit as relaxed and cheeful as anybody who is Usain Bolt's manager and best friend from childhood would be.

Usain Bolt's Manager and best friend from childhood is every bit as relaxed and cheeful as anybody who is Usain Bolt's manager and best friend from childhood would be.

Fine. My Nissan Pulsar sedan can only *probably* accelerate faster than Usain Bolt over 200m.

Fine. My Nissan Pulsar sedan can only *probably* accelerate faster than Usain Bolt over 200m.

This movie has dual directors - brothers Benjamin and Gabe Turner - who also directed the documentary  'The Class of 92'  about Manchester United's ... uh... Class of 92.

This movie has dual directors - brothers Benjamin and Gabe Turner - who also directed the documentary 'The Class of 92' about Manchester United's ... uh... Class of 92.

"There are four days every year where London's temperature in any way resembles Jamaica's. And none of them occur between October and March"  Usain Bolt's mum and dad - Wellesley and Jennifer Bolt attended the premiere.

"There are four days every year where London's temperature in any way resembles Jamaica's. And none of them occur between October and March" Usain Bolt's mum and dad - Wellesley and Jennifer Bolt attended the premiere.

Jennifer Bolt
"I'm more than twenty years older now, but don't you dare say anything against my shirt"  Team GB's Linford Christie won the 100m sprint Gold medal at the 1992 Barcelona Olympcs.

"I'm more than twenty years older now, but don't you dare say anything against my shirt" Team GB's Linford Christie won the 100m sprint Gold medal at the 1992 Barcelona Olympcs.

Germany's former Tennis #1 Boris Becker said in an interview that nowadays anyone who wins anything is called a 'legend' and an 'icon' to the point where the words are totally devalued and undeserved. He clarified that Usain Bolt's achievements in athletics definitely qualified him for both titles, but didn't opine as to whether my 100% attendance record in my last year of High School entitled me to one or both of those accolades.

Germany's former Tennis #1 Boris Becker said in an interview that nowadays anyone who wins anything is called a 'legend' and an 'icon' to the point where the words are totally devalued and undeserved. He clarified that Usain Bolt's achievements in athletics definitely qualified him for both titles, but didn't opine as to whether my 100% attendance record in my last year of High School entitled me to one or both of those accolades.

"Take a photo of us all taking selfies : it's so meta it'll break the internet"  - I think most telco networks are built to avoid precisely this kind of infinite logic loop.

"Take a photo of us all taking selfies : it's so meta it'll break the internet" - I think most telco networks are built to avoid precisely this kind of infinite logic loop.

"What's it like being Usain Bolt? Well... I'm tall...."

"What's it like being Usain Bolt? Well... I'm tall...."

"So... do you ever wake up at night and wonder 'Could I have run even faster?' ?" "Not until tonight, I think..."

"So... do you ever wake up at night and wonder 'Could I have run even faster?' ?"
"Not until tonight, I think..."

"We've got to stop her asking questions like that. It'll detract from the documentary..."

"We've got to stop her asking questions like that. It'll detract from the documentary..."

"I love you, man. Also, I'm not currently reaching for the wallet in your jacket's breast pocket..."

"I love you, man. Also, I'm not currently reaching for the wallet in your jacket's breast pocket..."

I was able to shift location slightly to get a rear/side view of the interview stage. My preferred pen, diagonally opposite was only open for people who arrived late, didn't queue and timed their entry perfectly to get the view, autographs, and a free wristband to see the film.

I was able to shift location slightly to get a rear/side view of the interview stage. My preferred pen, diagonally opposite was only open for people who arrived late, didn't queue and timed their entry perfectly to get the view, autographs, and a free wristband to see the film.

"Which of my nine gold medals is my favourite? Well... they're all kind of special, and they all weight much the same..."

"Which of my nine gold medals is my favourite? Well... they're all kind of special, and they all weight much the same..."

"And give it up for that man over there : if he'd truly cared about views on his website he'd have started a website of cat videos almost a decade ago and sat back and waited for the money and fame to roll in..."

"And give it up for that man over there : if he'd truly cared about views on his website he'd have started a website of cat videos almost a decade ago and sat back and waited for the money and fame to roll in..."

"I'm happy to sign and pose for everybody.... mostly because I'm guessing they won't start the screening without me"  - and indeed he did because indeed they wouldn't.

"I'm happy to sign and pose for everybody.... mostly because I'm guessing they won't start the screening without me" - and indeed he did because indeed they wouldn't.

"Well... time to warm up that hand and try to remember how to do my autograph"

"Well... time to warm up that hand and try to remember how to do my autograph"

If you knew how cold it is right now and how far along into balding territory I am at my age, you'd know I am entirely incapable of making fun of this hairstyle right now.

If you knew how cold it is right now and how far along into balding territory I am at my age, you'd know I am entirely incapable of making fun of this hairstyle right now.

Team GB's Mo Farah won both the 5000m and 10000m Gold medals at the London 2012 and Rio 2016 Olympics. Also the tie looks great, the suit looks slick and he's wearing baldness better than I am. In other words, I should hate him immensely, but oddly I don't at all.

Team GB's Mo Farah won both the 5000m and 10000m Gold medals at the London 2012 and Rio 2016 Olympics. Also the tie looks great, the suit looks slick and he's wearing baldness better than I am. In other words, I should hate him immensely, but oddly I don't at all.

Hannah Cockroft won 2 Paralympic gold medals in London in 2012, and then followed this up wtih three more gold medals in Rio this year. I am typically much less successful at activities requiring me to sit down. Or stand up. Or walk if I'm honest.

Hannah Cockroft won 2 Paralympic gold medals in London in 2012, and then followed this up wtih three more gold medals in Rio this year. I am typically much less successful at activities requiring me to sit down. Or stand up. Or walk if I'm honest.

"Wanna watch this video? I don't want to spoil anything, but it'll only take 9.58 seconds of your time..."

"Wanna watch this video? I don't want to spoil anything, but it'll only take 9.58 seconds of your time..."

"And you're sure I'm not endorsing any product, service or political stance by signing this?"

"And you're sure I'm not endorsing any product, service or political stance by signing this?"

So... that was that. Another premiere, another cold night, and another entry into the Archive of Movie Premieres. There are still one or two events this year before I call time on 2016 and take serious stock to determine whether this website needs a revamp with added kittens and the like. But for now it's...

Until next time!

ps. if you want to know whenever I post a new premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook at premieresdotco. (or both!)

1 Nov - 'The Crown' Netflix Series World Premiere

November 1st, 2016.

In amongst the 400-odd premieres in The Archive Of Premieres, TV Series don't feature very often. I can think of one very small and low-key (the one for the Doctor Who Season 8 launch), and one very large and distant (the one for Season 5 of Game of Thrones last year). And now, a third - the world premiere for the Netflix Series 'The Crown'.

Here's how it went down:

TV Series don't get premieres often, and this one has a carpet, a Leicester Square location, Corgis (refer below) and although not pictured in this journal, it even had bestowed upon it the dulcet rhyming tones of Hakeem Mr Impact and tame DJ Order of Succession.

TV Series don't get premieres often, and this one has a carpet, a Leicester Square location, Corgis (refer below) and although not pictured in this journal, it even had bestowed upon it the dulcet rhyming tones of Hakeem Mr Impact and tame DJ Order of Succession.

"Your hat looks ridiculous...." "....." "And the jaunty angle it sits at is entirely unbecoming" ".............." "Anyway, good day, Ma'am"  -- and there go all three of my favourite pickup lines.

"Your hat looks ridiculous...."
"....."
"And the jaunty angle it sits at is entirely unbecoming"
".............."
"Anyway, good day, Ma'am"

-- and there go all three of my favourite pickup lines.

"I left my compact back in the limo but I'm too embarrassed to get my armed guard to turn around. I'm guessing The Queen wouldn't think twice..."  - our host and interviewer for the night arrives.

"I left my compact back in the limo but I'm too embarrassed to get my armed guard to turn around. I'm guessing The Queen wouldn't think twice..." - our host and interviewer for the night arrives.

"You look cute, but leave a mess on this carpet and nobody will be pleased..." - awww... somebody brought a corgi!

"You look cute, but leave a mess on this carpet and nobody will be pleased..." - awww... somebody brought a corgi!

Somebody has put a GoPro onto a corgi, and depending on the quality of its online journal it might not be A.I. or cheap South Koreans who finally drive me out of the 'free online / non-ad-revenue supported' entertainment website business....

Somebody has put a GoPro onto a corgi, and depending on the quality of its online journal it might not be A.I. or cheap South Koreans who finally drive me out of the 'free online / non-ad-revenue supported' entertainment website business....

"The Corgi seemed optimistic it could handle this, but I had opposable thumbs and managed to hold onto it...."

"The Corgi seemed optimistic it could handle this, but I had opposable thumbs and managed to hold onto it...."

Cat design iphone cover. I probably should put more cat pictures into my journals - capture that all important  "I don't care about premieres but I love cat pictures"  demographic I'm probably 2-4yrs behind the rest of the internet in exploiting.

Cat design iphone cover. I probably should put more cat pictures into my journals - capture that all important "I don't care about premieres but I love cat pictures" demographic I'm probably 2-4yrs behind the rest of the internet in exploiting.

Claire Foy plays the young 25yr old Queen Elizabeth II in 'The Crown', but as at right now (two days before the show's release) she's still best known for being in the Nic Cage movie 'Season of the Witch'

Claire Foy plays the young 25yr old Queen Elizabeth II in 'The Crown', but as at right now (two days before the show's release) she's still best known for being in the Nic Cage movie 'Season of the Witch'

Jared Harris was spectacular as Professor Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes : Game of Shadows, and there's a decent chance no matter how adaptible he is to a his role in this series, I'll still think of King George VI as a criminal mastermind somehow.

Jared Harris was spectacular as Professor Moriarty in Sherlock Holmes : Game of Shadows, and there's a decent chance no matter how adaptible he is to a his role in this series, I'll still think of King George VI as a criminal mastermind somehow.

"If I touch him, it'll change everything.... but can I take the risk?"  the man approximately one and a half centimetres from possibly having his life changed is director Stephen Daldry who has three Oscar nominations for best to his name, for Billy Elliot (2000), The Hours (2002) and The Reader (2008).

"If I touch him, it'll change everything.... but can I take the risk?" the man approximately one and a half centimetres from possibly having his life changed is director Stephen Daldry who has three Oscar nominations for best to his name, for Billy Elliot (2000), The Hours (2002) and The Reader (2008).

"This man. Don't trust him. Was a villain in a movie once and it's just not worth the risk..."  - Matt Smith is a former Doctor Who and he plays Queen Elizabeth II's husband Prince Phillip in the series. I last photographed him earlier this year at the premiere of  'Pride and Prejudice and Zombies'

"This man. Don't trust him. Was a villain in a movie once and it's just not worth the risk..." - Matt Smith is a former Doctor Who and he plays Queen Elizabeth II's husband Prince Phillip in the series. I last photographed him earlier this year at the premiere of 'Pride and Prejudice and Zombies'

"It's true. I might possibly be James Hillier. Wait for wireimage or getty to update. In the meantime... enjoy the premiere like I'm enjoying the view from up here" . Hurry up and update already, internet resources...

"It's true. I might possibly be James Hillier. Wait for wireimage or getty to update. In the meantime... enjoy the premiere like I'm enjoying the view from up here". Hurry up and update already, internet resources...

Peter Morgan has been nominated for two Oscars for writing - both for best adapated and best original screenplays for 'Frost/Nixon' and 'The Queen', and he also wrote  'Rush'  and  'The Damned United'  - both excellent films - as well as this series.

Peter Morgan has been nominated for two Oscars for writing - both for best adapated and best original screenplays for 'Frost/Nixon' and 'The Queen', and he also wrote 'Rush' and 'The Damned United' - both excellent films - as well as this series.

"A follow up series covering other Royalty? You want me to direct some sort of Kardashian biopic, don't you?"

"A follow up series covering other Royalty? You want me to direct some sort of Kardashian biopic, don't you?"

Eileen Atkins' imdb.com credits date back to the late 1950s - and she now gets to add one episode of playing Queen Mary in this series to that list.

Eileen Atkins' imdb.com credits date back to the late 1950s - and she now gets to add one episode of playing Queen Mary in this series to that list.

"Truth be told every actor secretly wants to play either a Marvel supervillain or a Sith Lord, and so do I... but your chances drop if you ever mention it out loud..."

"Truth be told every actor secretly wants to play either a Marvel supervillain or a Sith Lord, and so do I... but your chances drop if you ever mention it out loud..."

"That's where I want the statue of myself built. No, you don't have to demolish the Burger King, just build around it..."

"That's where I want the statue of myself built. No, you don't have to demolish the Burger King, just build around it..."

"Oh, I agree. There are better burger places. But none closer"

"Oh, I agree. There are better burger places. But none closer"

"That hypothetical statue of Jared Harris they're not building over near the Burger King looks hideous, just so you know...."  - Victoria Hamilton played Queen Victoria in the 2001 Telemovie 'Victoria and Albert' and in 'The Crown' she plays the role of the Queen Mother.

"That hypothetical statue of Jared Harris they're not building over near the Burger King looks hideous, just so you know...." - Victoria Hamilton played Queen Victoria in the 2001 Telemovie 'Victoria and Albert' and in 'The Crown' she plays the role of the Queen Mother.

"Me? Nervous? Of course not! I play a character who commands an Empire in this show!" "Yeah, but the Empire isn't up here with you, and the character you play lives in a palace just a short drive from here"

"Me? Nervous? Of course not! I play a character who commands an Empire in this show!"
"Yeah, but the Empire isn't up here with you, and the character you play lives in a palace just a short drive from here"

"Oh dear. And the character I play lives in that same palace. I might need to keep my answers short..."

"Oh dear. And the character I play lives in that same palace. I might need to keep my answers short..."

"Zis French Akzent Vill Confuze and Delight...?"

"Zis French Akzent Vill Confuze and Delight...?"

"Matt wants us to kiss in order to cause a distraction, and also because we're costars who play sisters in the film. But mostly as a distraction, I think..."  - Vanessa Kirby plays the Queen's sister Princess Margaret in the series.

"Matt wants us to kiss in order to cause a distraction, and also because we're costars who play sisters in the film. But mostly as a distraction, I think..." - Vanessa Kirby plays the Queen's sister Princess Margaret in the series.

"I'm not sure it worked as a distraction... perhaps if you tried it again?"

"I'm not sure it worked as a distraction... perhaps if you tried it again?"

"I get the feeling there might have been a further ulterior motive behind all that"  - Vanessa Kirby was also in (but not at the premiere of) this year's  'Me Before You'

"I get the feeling there might have been a further ulterior motive behind all that" - Vanessa Kirby was also in (but not at the premiere of) this year's 'Me Before You'

"What was it like playing The Queen? Well, I did have some notes and coins printed with my face on the back until the police came around and explained how forgery is a crime. I'm gathering The Queen hasn't had that happen to her...."

"What was it like playing The Queen? Well, I did have some notes and coins printed with my face on the back until the police came around and explained how forgery is a crime. I'm gathering The Queen hasn't had that happen to her...."

Posed shot. I don't do a lot.

Posed shot. I don't do a lot.

"An ongoing Queen Elizabeth Cinematic Universe? Well.... I suppose I could be part of that. Does she get superpowers at any point?"

"An ongoing Queen Elizabeth Cinematic Universe? Well.... I suppose I could be part of that. Does she get superpowers at any point?"

So... that was that, and it was rather good. It also represents a rare situation where I photographed both the actors playing certain roles AND their real world counterparts (The Queen, Prince Philip and Princess Margaret at Trooping The Colour) in the same year.... and that's something.

And of course it's another entry into The Archive of Movie Premieres.

Until next time!

PS. If you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, please feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, and/or on twitter @berndt2_photo, or just hang around the homepage of this website from time to time and see if anything changes there, I guess?