bfi lff

12 Oct - The (BFI LFF) 'Lion' Premiere

October 12th, 2016.

And so, for the eighth day in a row, I'm doing a premiere for London Film Festival (and with the announcement of four (possibly five) premieres in the four days immediately after BFI LFF ends, I could now be only halfway through a series of sixteen consecutive days of premieres, at the conclusion of which I swear I'd better be celebrated by no less than a dinner date with Charlize Theron, otherwise why the hell am I even doing this??

But I'm possibly getting ahead of myself. Here's how it went down (today):

The movie is "Lion" and the search engine product placement is actually embedded into the movie poster as it's also a plot point in the story.

The movie is "Lion" and the search engine product placement is actually embedded into the movie poster as it's also a plot point in the story.

With regard to search engines, I myself recommend  'startpage.com' . It's anonymised and that means companies like Google, Facebook, the NSA and North Korea don't just get my data handed to them on a plate : they have to WORK for it. (and learn to their disappointment that my life is in fact mostly boring!)

With regard to search engines, I myself recommend 'startpage.com'. It's anonymised and that means companies like Google, Facebook, the NSA and North Korea don't just get my data handed to them on a plate : they have to WORK for it. (and learn to their disappointment that my life is in fact mostly boring!)

"Good news everybody. I've checked with the guys from the studio, and the movie's not pronounced like it's in French or Urdu or Kazakh or something weird like that."

"Good news everybody. I've checked with the guys from the studio, and the movie's not pronounced like it's in French or Urdu or Kazakh or something weird like that."

"Do I know how all of this works? Well... I know how SOME of this works. For example... the zippers on my jacket and the buttons on my shirt. I totally know how THOSE work"

"Do I know how all of this works? Well... I know how SOME of this works. For example... the zippers on my jacket and the buttons on my shirt. I totally know how THOSE work"

Iain Canning (left) is one of thirteen producers of varying kinds attached to this film. Angie Fielder (right) is one of the other twelve. I'm not going to say whether one of the two packets of TimTams in my fridge right now is also a producer... but this movie is Australian.

Iain Canning (left) is one of thirteen producers of varying kinds attached to this film. Angie Fielder (right) is one of the other twelve. I'm not going to say whether one of the two packets of TimTams in my fridge right now is also a producer... but this movie is Australian.

Duston O'Halloran and Volker Bertelmann are the two composers of this film's soundtrack. I usually don't have anything amusing to say about movie soundtracks : most of my iTunes library is comprised of scores to music. However... none of them are presently from either Mr O'Halloran or Mr Bertelman.

Duston O'Halloran and Volker Bertelmann are the two composers of this film's soundtrack. I usually don't have anything amusing to say about movie soundtracks : most of my iTunes library is comprised of scores to music. However... none of them are presently from either Mr O'Halloran or Mr Bertelman.

It's Australia's own (Hawaiian-born) Nicole Kidman!

It's Australia's own (Hawaiian-born) Nicole Kidman!

"I loved you in that movie you were in!" "And I loved your hair in that movie you were in"

"I loved you in that movie you were in!"
"And I loved your hair in that movie you were in"

"I've been high-fiving people for so long I've forgotten how this handshake thing works..."

"I've been high-fiving people for so long I've forgotten how this handshake thing works..."

Dev Patel is perhaps still best known for being in 'Slumdog Millionaire", however imdb rather unfairly points out that he was in the much-hated "The Last Airbender". Personally, I think if an actor has been in at least three good movies since being in a movie that bad, imdb should remove it from their list of sins.

Dev Patel is perhaps still best known for being in 'Slumdog Millionaire", however imdb rather unfairly points out that he was in the much-hated "The Last Airbender". Personally, I think if an actor has been in at least three good movies since being in a movie that bad, imdb should remove it from their list of sins.

Luke Davies wrote the screenplay upon which this story was based (the story was in turn based on a real life event that took place) (and that event was based on a concept of linear time and notions of relationship constructs... and so on until I reach the end of this alcoholic drink I'm currently basing much of this journal on)

Luke Davies wrote the screenplay upon which this story was based (the story was in turn based on a real life event that took place) (and that event was based on a concept of linear time and notions of relationship constructs... and so on until I reach the end of this alcoholic drink I'm currently basing much of this journal on)

Rather remarkably in this day and age, Nicole Kidman is not attached to either the Marvel or DC Cinematic universes OR Star Wars OR Game of Thrones.....   .... oh wait. She was Dr Chase Meridian in Batman Forever (1995)

Rather remarkably in this day and age, Nicole Kidman is not attached to either the Marvel or DC Cinematic universes OR Star Wars OR Game of Thrones.....


.... oh wait. She was Dr Chase Meridian in Batman Forever (1995)

Due to insane stupidity on my part, I decided not to bring along the photo I'd taken of Nicole Kidman at  the premiere of Baz Luhrman's Australia (2008) , reasoning that it would be far too busy and stars at this BFI LFF have not been particularly inclined towards signing autographs. Anyway... woulda gotten it signed today if I had. Argh.

Due to insane stupidity on my part, I decided not to bring along the photo I'd taken of Nicole Kidman at the premiere of Baz Luhrman's Australia (2008), reasoning that it would be far too busy and stars at this BFI LFF have not been particularly inclined towards signing autographs. Anyway... woulda gotten it signed today if I had. Argh.

Nicole Kidman, with an expression that says  "Bring The Thing You Want Autographed Today Because Today I Would Have Signed It".  The dude on the right has an expression that more or less mirrors mine right now.

Nicole Kidman, with an expression that says "Bring The Thing You Want Autographed Today Because Today I Would Have Signed It". The dude on the right has an expression that more or less mirrors mine right now.

"Susan... it took hours to have my hair done to look like this, and here you are wearing your hair like that in my presence. It's unacceptable, Susan."

"Susan... it took hours to have my hair done to look like this, and here you are wearing your hair like that in my presence. It's unacceptable, Susan."

"That red beanie you're wearing... I can't really risk looking directly at it. Even in this low light"  - Divian Ladwa is in this movie, and according to imdb despite having a film career dating back to almost a decade, he's not yet there on having his portrait grace their site.

"That red beanie you're wearing... I can't really risk looking directly at it. Even in this low light" - Divian Ladwa is in this movie, and according to imdb despite having a film career dating back to almost a decade, he's not yet there on having his portrait grace their site.

"Wait... they're making even MORE Star Wars films?"

"Wait... they're making even MORE Star Wars films?"

"My hair is stuck in this position no matter how windy it gets".  But like me, you really want to know what's going on with the dude (lady?) in the bottom left corner of this image.

"My hair is stuck in this position no matter how windy it gets". But like me, you really want to know what's going on with the dude (lady?) in the bottom left corner of this image.

The girl on the left is cute, yes. But the lady on the right is angry. And maybe it's worth it finding out why.

The girl on the left is cute, yes. But the lady on the right is angry. And maybe it's worth it finding out why.

"They're calling me 'The Indian Matthew McConaughey? That's kind of neat, I guess..."

"They're calling me 'The Indian Matthew McConaughey? That's kind of neat, I guess..."

"But I was born in London. And my parents are from Kenya. But yes, I've been to India. The nice parts in that country are... nice."

"But I was born in London. And my parents are from Kenya. But yes, I've been to India. The nice parts in that country are... nice."

I don't know who this is, or whether she's in the movie. But I stand by my decision to put this photograph here.

I don't know who this is, or whether she's in the movie. But I stand by my decision to put this photograph here.

Nicole Kidman 7
"The knots on my dress? One's a sheepshank and the other is a half-hitch. Thanks for asking!"

"The knots on my dress? One's a sheepshank and the other is a half-hitch. Thanks for asking!"

"A  'Paddington'  Cinematic Universe'? Yeah.. it'd work. But a  'Stoker' -based Cinematic universe would be pretty awesome"

"A 'Paddington' Cinematic Universe'? Yeah.. it'd work. But a 'Stoker'-based Cinematic universe would be pretty awesome"

"Blurry, therefore Art, huh? Yeah, I buy it"

"Blurry, therefore Art, huh? Yeah, I buy it"

So... that was Day 8.

Needless to say, the linear nature of time means Day 9, Day 10, Day 11 and Day 12 are still in the future, as is the likelihood of me getting a good night's sleep any time soon!

Until then, I've got another entry for my Archive of Movie premieres, and a bit of space left on my memory cards for tomorrow.

ps. If you ever want to know when I post a premiere journal, feel free to follow me on Facebook... or follow me on Twitter.... but don't follow me when I'm leaving a premiere. That's kind of creepy. (though I do get lonely sometimes...)

11 Oct - The (BFI LFF) 'The Birth of a Nation' premiere

October 11th, 2016.

After SEVEN DAYS of premieres (and another seven days to go), it's surprising I'm still managing to maintain the ability to mechanically press a button and give the impression of being a motivated photographer. The grammar and the meandering nature of some of the sentences I've been writing are a different matter, though. And today, it was another premiere (or in this case technically a 'headline gala'.

Here's how it went down:

We're going to need a bigger operating theatre.  (this is literally the best thing I could come up with after looking at the words 'birth' 'of' 'a' and 'nation')

We're going to need a bigger operating theatre.
(this is literally the best thing I could come up with after looking at the words 'birth' 'of' 'a' and 'nation')

The Internet paints a rather inconsistent view of this film, with a 78% fresh rating (with an average rating of 7.2) on rottentomatoes contrasting with an average rating of 5.5 on imdb.com. My Magic 8-Ball gives it a rating of   'ask again later'

The Internet paints a rather inconsistent view of this film, with a 78% fresh rating (with an average rating of 7.2) on rottentomatoes contrasting with an average rating of 5.5 on imdb.com. My Magic 8-Ball gives it a rating of 'ask again later'

Cooler than you. Probably.

Cooler than you. Probably.

"The longer I stand here the less cool I look. And I am very interested in looking cool"  - the implausibly yet awesomely named Ozwald Boateng and Guest.

"The longer I stand here the less cool I look. And I am very interested in looking cool" - the implausibly yet awesomely named Ozwald Boateng and Guest.

"Hold it. Hold it. There. I've now focussed on Canada"

"Hold it. Hold it. There. I've now focussed on Canada"

"Is that.... sheet metal??"  - Gabrielle Union is arguably still best known for Bad Boys II (2003), and is also in this movie. Meanwhile, according to wikipedia, commonly used steel sheet metal ranges from 30 gauge to about 7 gauge.

"Is that.... sheet metal??" - Gabrielle Union is arguably still best known for Bad Boys II (2003), and is also in this movie. Meanwhile, according to wikipedia, commonly used steel sheet metal ranges from 30 gauge to about 7 gauge.

"Yes, the dress is great : but remember who's wearing it, yeah?"

"Yes, the dress is great : but remember who's wearing it, yeah?"

"Compliment my dress, or compliment me. It's your choice, but the dress is an inanimate object and can't really feel happy"

"Compliment my dress, or compliment me. It's your choice, but the dress is an inanimate object and can't really feel happy"

"My character's name is Will. No he doesn't have a surname. Or a mobile phone number. That's because the movie is set in the early 1800s. That's so long ago that people still had dialup internet back then, I believe" -  Chike Okonkwo is in this movie, and was also in  'The Program', which was part of last year's BFI London Film Festival

"My character's name is Will. No he doesn't have a surname. Or a mobile phone number. That's because the movie is set in the early 1800s. That's so long ago that people still had dialup internet back then, I believe" - Chike Okonkwo is in this movie, and was also in 'The Program', which was part of last year's BFI London Film Festival

"And y'all really ARE fans of The Lone Ranger? Well I'm shocked and pleased in equal amounts..."  - Armie Hammer played  the titular Lone Ranger in the film of that name , and was also both of the Winkelvoss twins in 'The Social Network'

"And y'all really ARE fans of The Lone Ranger? Well I'm shocked and pleased in equal amounts..." - Armie Hammer played the titular Lone Ranger in the film of that name, and was also both of the Winkelvoss twins in 'The Social Network'

"Watch out for the one photographer. He wears a backwards baseball cap - they're NEVER that cool"  - Armie Hammer's +1 at this event was his wife actress Elizabeth Chambers.

"Watch out for the one photographer. He wears a backwards baseball cap - they're NEVER that cool" - Armie Hammer's +1 at this event was his wife actress Elizabeth Chambers.

"There is NO WAY they're planning a franchise of films based on Birth of a Nation. Teething troubles of a nation, potty training of a nation, puberty of a nation and so on? Ridiculous. I won't do it.".  At the end of the day, every studio wants a franchise and a cinematic universe more than they want a meaningful story of human dignity...

"There is NO WAY they're planning a franchise of films based on Birth of a Nation. Teething troubles of a nation, potty training of a nation, puberty of a nation and so on? Ridiculous. I won't do it.". At the end of the day, every studio wants a franchise and a cinematic universe more than they want a meaningful story of human dignity...

"Air High-Five! I loved you in  Mirror, Mirror  dude!" - that movie remains pretty much the only film by director 'Tarsem' that didn't make me want to throw numerous heavy things at lonely fragile things. I thought it was (surprisingly) delightful.

"Air High-Five! I loved you in Mirror, Mirror dude!" - that movie remains pretty much the only film by director 'Tarsem' that didn't make me want to throw numerous heavy things at lonely fragile things. I thought it was (surprisingly) delightful.

"This game can keep young kids amused for hours. Or some autograph dealers for weeks. Which one are you?"

"This game can keep young kids amused for hours. Or some autograph dealers for weeks. Which one are you?"

"You want me to sign as writer, director AND star of the film? Three distinct autographs, you mean? Okay..."  - Nate Parker did/does indeed write, direct and star in this movie.

"You want me to sign as writer, director AND star of the film? Three distinct autographs, you mean? Okay..." - Nate Parker did/does indeed write, direct and star in this movie.

"No, I'm not signing it as Producer as well. I'm all out of signature variants..."

"No, I'm not signing it as Producer as well. I'm all out of signature variants..."

"As long as nobdy mentions 'Red Tails' all will be well."  I certainly won't be. Not until I'm safely home and have access to the internet movie database.

"As long as nobdy mentions 'Red Tails' all will be well." I certainly won't be. Not until I'm safely home and have access to the internet movie database.

"Armie's already inside and probably demolishing the popcorn stand as we speak, so I'm going to go inside now"

"Armie's already inside and probably demolishing the popcorn stand as we speak, so I'm going to go inside now"

"Y'all can fit the sign into frame from where you're standing, right?"

"Y'all can fit the sign into frame from where you're standing, right?"

"Force push!!! Yeah, I can do that. Disney's lawyers can't sue EVERYBODY, right?"  I'm given to understand that they absolutely can.

"Force push!!! Yeah, I can do that. Disney's lawyers can't sue EVERYBODY, right?" I'm given to understand that they absolutely can.

So... that was that, and it's another premiere for The Archive of Movie Premieres, to which some ten have been added in the past week, including but not limited to ones my sleep-deprived mind can currently vaguely remember, like...uh "Arrival" yesterday with Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner and "A Monster Calls" last week with Sigourney Weaver. And... uh... "Elle" with Paul Verhoeven and "Bleed like this" with Miles Teller and Aaron Eckhart and "American Honey". And there were others. Several and/or many others.

Until... tomorrow! (and the day after that! and that! and that! and the closing night!). Or so I intend.

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these (whether legible or otherwise), feel free to follow me on facebook, or follow me on twitter here.