21 Apr - The 'Cain Hill' WORLD PREMIERE

April 21st, 2017.

In all the time I've photographed premieres in London (some 400 premieres over 10 years) I'd previously only photographed two ('Malice in Wonderland' in 2010 and 'American Mary' in 2013) at the Prince Charles Cinema, which is located just off Leicester Square in London.

And it wasn't just a premiere this time, it was no less than a WORLD premiere (albeit for a movie I hadn't previously heard of). Here's how it went down:

If they're holding a world premiere for a movie called "Cain Hill", they sure are being ninja-sneaky about it.

If they're holding a world premiere for a movie called "Cain Hill", they sure are being ninja-sneaky about it.

Leicester Place is not the same as Leicester Square... but they're in the same cinematic universe, if you like.

Leicester Place is not the same as Leicester Square... but they're in the same cinematic universe, if you like.

It's a world premiere, and it seems to be a horror/slasher film, and the sponsor is "Hello Gorgeous". which makes things both Curiouser and Curiouser. Then again, nobody has been sworn at by security guards, so it's already better than any premiere held for a Disney movie in the last 6months or so since last December's "Rogue One"

It's a world premiere, and it seems to be a horror/slasher film, and the sponsor is "Hello Gorgeous". which makes things both Curiouser and Curiouser. Then again, nobody has been sworn at by security guards, so it's already better than any premiere held for a Disney movie in the last 6months or so since last December's "Rogue One"

"A world premiere without numbered wristbands or people camping out days in advance? I don't get it." I arrived about 45mins before it started, then headed off for a coffee and returned about 15mins before it started, and I've never done that before either.

"A world premiere without numbered wristbands or people camping out days in advance? I don't get it." I arrived about 45mins before it started, then headed off for a coffee and returned about 15mins before it started, and I've never done that before either.

"No, you can't have one of these bags. No, we can't tell you why or what's in them"

"No, you can't have one of these bags. No, we can't tell you why or what's in them"

Whenever I'm at a premiere and not sure of who's in a movie, I look at who the other photographers are shooting. But this premiere? I was one of only two photographers, and the other wasn't from wireimage or getty. So... here's an awesome beard, and I hope it was in the movie

Whenever I'm at a premiere and not sure of who's in a movie, I look at who the other photographers are shooting. But this premiere? I was one of only two photographers, and the other wasn't from wireimage or getty. So... here's an awesome beard, and I hope it was in the movie

"I know the microphone is larger than the camera. Don't you THINK I know??" this man currently represents the entirety of the Media Pen at this premiere. (Sadly this means I can't *quite* boast that my website has a worldwide exclusive on this world premiere)

"I know the microphone is larger than the camera. Don't you THINK I know??" this man currently represents the entirety of the Media Pen at this premiere. (Sadly this means I can't *quite* boast that my website has a worldwide exclusive on this world premiere)

"Are we in the movie? We'll never tell !!" - generally, I figure that people with bow ties are usually in The Movie. (And people who wear shirts without ties are also usually in The Movie).

"Are we in the movie? We'll never tell !!" - generally, I figure that people with bow ties are usually in The Movie. (And people who wear shirts without ties are also usually in The Movie).

Woman Staring Into Middle Distance. (It's a world premiere. Who am I to judge?)

Woman Staring Into Middle Distance. (It's a world premiere. Who am I to judge?)

"Am I in this movie? Well, that depends on what you mean by "movie" and "this" and "am I", really"

"Am I in this movie? Well, that depends on what you mean by "movie" and "this" and "am I", really"

"This is only slightly more painful for me than it looks. So SMILE, damnit!!"

"This is only slightly more painful for me than it looks. So SMILE, damnit!!"

People hugging people usually means they're in the movie. Or perhaps just naturally affectionate in public places. (edited to add : he's the director, Gene Fallaize)

People hugging people usually means they're in the movie. Or perhaps just naturally affectionate in public places. (edited to add : he's the director, Gene Fallaize)

"I'm currently dressed more awesomely than 98% of the people here. What do I do?"

"I'm currently dressed more awesomely than 98% of the people here. What do I do?"

Excitingly, Phill Martin is both at this premiere AND IN THIS MOVIE. In part I know this because I have photographed him before, at the world premiere of the movie-that-didn't-quite-launch-a-thousand-franchises "Pan"

Excitingly, Phill Martin is both at this premiere AND IN THIS MOVIE. In part I know this because I have photographed him before, at the world premiere of the movie-that-didn't-quite-launch-a-thousand-franchises "Pan"

I don't know who this is. Like I said, I usually take my lead from Getty... but at this premiere I effectively AM Getty.

I don't know who this is. Like I said, I usually take my lead from Getty... but at this premiere I effectively AM Getty.

... one of us is probably in this movie, and I don't think it's me.

... one of us is probably in this movie, and I don't think it's me.

I think he's in the movie. And the tie has an executive producer credit.

I think he's in the movie. And the tie has an executive producer credit.

In some weird way, my brain is currently feeling like this costume looks.

In some weird way, my brain is currently feeling like this costume looks.

"What's this movie about? Well... where to start.... Firstly, which movie are we talking about?"

"What's this movie about? Well... where to start.... Firstly, which movie are we talking about?"

I've finally photographed something at this premiere I'm not uncertain about!

I've finally photographed something at this premiere I'm not uncertain about!

"Am I Michael Parr? Well, that kind of depends on what you mean by "Michael" and "Parr", really..." (edited to add : he's not Michael Parr, it's Sam Benjamin, with thanks to Sam Noel-Heath on Facebook!)

"Am I Michael Parr? Well, that kind of depends on what you mean by "Michael" and "Parr", really..."
(edited to add : he's not Michael Parr, it's Sam Benjamin, with thanks to Sam Noel-Heath on Facebook!)

"What do I think about Cain Hill? Aren't they a legal firm or some kind of organic produce distributor?"

"What do I think about Cain Hill? Aren't they a legal firm or some kind of organic produce distributor?"

"Come on, imdb, don't let me down..." , but even the mighty imdb.com's entry for this movie isn't fully populated with images of the cast.

"Come on, imdb, don't let me down..." , but even the mighty imdb.com's entry for this movie isn't fully populated with images of the cast.

"This man... is shorter than me. That's all I've got for now" - I think the shorter guy might be Tony Cook, who is in this film and was also in 'Eastern Promises' and 'Shaun of the Dead'

"This man... is shorter than me. That's all I've got for now" - I think the shorter guy might be Tony Cook, who is in this film and was also in 'Eastern Promises' and 'Shaun of the Dead'

Please don't break my heart and tell me this man isn't in the movie. Or isn't a fantastic looking Jeff Bridges. Or an urban samurai assassin wearing maroon velvet. (Or my residual self-image when I'm inside The Matrix.)

Please don't break my heart and tell me this man isn't in the movie. Or isn't a fantastic looking Jeff Bridges. Or an urban samurai assassin wearing maroon velvet. (Or my residual self-image when I'm inside The Matrix.)

"I don't care about orientation as long as we're all in there"

"I don't care about orientation as long as we're all in there"

The square meterage of the red carpet at this premiere was small, but it's not every world premiere that has the confidence not to put in place barriers or security staff to keep the hordes of fans and autograph dealers at bay.

The square meterage of the red carpet at this premiere was small, but it's not every world premiere that has the confidence not to put in place barriers or security staff to keep the hordes of fans and autograph dealers at bay.

It's Alex Zane! And in contrast to every other premiere I've photographed him at, he's actually present at this one as a result of Being In This Movie.

It's Alex Zane! And in contrast to every other premiere I've photographed him at, he's actually present at this one as a result of Being In This Movie.

(with thanks to Alexcatalps) : "I've gotta be honest I'm more used to being on the other side of the microphone.... do you mind if I ask YOU some questions, ma'am??"

(with thanks to Alexcatalps) : "I've gotta be honest I'm more used to being on the other side of the microphone.... do you mind if I ask YOU some questions, ma'am??"

"I believe they're giving out the last of the goodie bags inside, so I bid you all adieu"

"I believe they're giving out the last of the goodie bags inside, so I bid you all adieu"

Meanwhile at the side/rear entrance, some of the cast and crew seem to have assembled. The man on the far right is Ben Mansbridge, I believe (uncredited as 'Constable No.3' in 2012's 'Les Miserables') while the man facing the camera second from the right is director Gene Fallaize.

Meanwhile at the side/rear entrance, some of the cast and crew seem to have assembled. The man on the far right is Ben Mansbridge, I believe (uncredited as 'Constable No.3' in 2012's 'Les Miserables') while the man facing the camera second from the right is director Gene Fallaize.

Rather awesomely, director Gene Fallaize not only directed this film, but also plays the part of " Hollywood Movie Director" in the film.

Rather awesomely, director Gene Fallaize not only directed this film, but also plays the part of " Hollywood Movie Director" in the film.

"I can't believe we're not getting mobbed by people asking us to sign funko Pop Vynils!!"

"I can't believe we're not getting mobbed by people asking us to sign funko Pop Vynils!!"

So... that was that. A pleasant confusion for me to showcase my inability to operate with precision and control in an environment without Paparazzi and Lists Of Attendees to fall back upon. But on the other hand, it was fun, it was small, it was a world premiere, and it didn't feel like me being there was an irritant to the organisers, in the way that that makes cynical commentary easy, such as might be found at the journals for This Disney Premiere, or This Disney Premiere, or This Disney Premiere. I certainly wish this movie well - I hope it makes 1/50th the gross of Beauty & The Beast (which would give it over $20million!)

So... it's another premiere for The Archive Of Premieres... and until next Monday, when I intend to photograph a...uh... Disney Premiere....

Damnit... (...by which I mean : I can't wait!!!)

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals (I'm sometimes more even more accurate!) feel free to follow me on Facebook at premieresdotco, or on Twitter at @berndt2_photo.