04Apr - Das (or is it 'Die'?) 'Fast & Furious 8' Premiere, Berlin

April 4th, 2017.

So for the third time now (after 2015's Mockingjay Teil2 and this weekend's Die Schluempfe) I find myself in Berlin, photographing a premiere. It was cold, I got there fairly early, and it was over far too quickly, and it was all for three stars from the movie (though by factor of elimination I was mostly there for one).

No regrets a few hours later, my body temperature has mostly returned to normal, and I'm off to Hannover tomorrow. But for today, here's how it went down:

As is customary for premieres in Berlin, the action starts the prior evening, where the diligent German organisers are already laying the carpet, putting up barriers and possibly even pre-recording interviews just to get it all done early. Meanwhile, I'm a bit sad that the movie is being released in Germany with the English title "Fast & Furious 8", as google translate suggests "Die schnell und Wütend 8".

As is customary for premieres in Berlin, the action starts the prior evening, where the diligent German organisers are already laying the carpet, putting up barriers and possibly even pre-recording interviews just to get it all done early.
Meanwhile, I'm a bit sad that the movie is being released in Germany with the English title "Fast & Furious 8", as google translate suggests "Die schnell und Wütend 8".

<translated from the German> "Ideally we'd want to have them towed, but if they belong to Vin Diesel he might get upset, and have you seen the size of his forearms??"

<translated from the German> "Ideally we'd want to have them towed, but if they belong to Vin Diesel he might get upset, and have you seen the size of his forearms??"

The following day:

I'd had my breakfast at Alexanderplatz, done a bit of shopping, had lunch, and got to the Sony Centre just after 1pm. And this was my spot, with a decent view of the posing board and next to the media. There was even a very pretty German lady who indulgently let me practice my broken German with her, so to me the premeire was worth it long before it had a chance to be sub-par.

I'd had my breakfast at Alexanderplatz, done a bit of shopping, had lunch, and got to the Sony Centre just after 1pm. And this was my spot, with a decent view of the posing board and next to the media. There was even a very pretty German lady who indulgently let me practice my broken German with her, so to me the premeire was worth it long before it had a chance to be sub-par.

As I look up at the elongated poster which wishes me a hearty welcome to the premiere, I am struck once again at how this franchise (more than any other) acknowledges the existance, nay pre-eminance, nay superiority, of bald and balding men. And I salute that.

As I look up at the elongated poster which wishes me a hearty welcome to the premiere, I am struck once again at how this franchise (more than any other) acknowledges the existance, nay pre-eminance, nay superiority, of bald and balding men. And I salute that.

<translated from the German> "Do I feel like I'm being objectified for my beauty? Well.. yes. But then again, there's almost no way that's not an implied compliment, plus I'm being paid for it. So who's feeling foolish now?" I gotta start getting sponsorship for this website....

<translated from the German> "Do I feel like I'm being objectified for my beauty? Well.. yes. But then again, there's almost no way that's not an implied compliment, plus I'm being paid for it. So who's feeling foolish now?" I gotta start getting sponsorship for this website....

<translated from the German> "Did one of you two write down what she just said? I need to put that on a t-shirt. Maybe a tight t-shirt, maybe not. I haven't decided"

<translated from the German> "Did one of you two write down what she just said? I need to put that on a t-shirt. Maybe a tight t-shirt, maybe not. I haven't decided"

According to nearby sources, this is possibly a contestant on Germany's Next Top Model. Or, I theorise, a guest on the more niche program "Somebody broke into my house and did this to my favourite sweater - Season 4"

According to nearby sources, this is possibly a contestant on Germany's Next Top Model. Or, I theorise, a guest on the more niche program "Somebody broke into my house and did this to my favourite sweater - Season 4"

I don't know who this is either, but I'm going with "Germany's Slightly Older Version of Justin Bieber" until I find out more.

I don't know who this is either, but I'm going with "Germany's Slightly Older Version of Justin Bieber" until I find out more.

"Your tattooist says he can fit you in next Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Saturday. Oh, I'm sorry... he said 'next Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday AND Saturday" (edited to add : I don't know who this is)

"Your tattooist says he can fit you in next Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Saturday. Oh, I'm sorry... he said 'next Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday AND Saturday" (edited to add : I don't know who this is)

"I'm sorry, Madam and Sir. They just don't believe that you two are Charlize Theron and Vin Diesel"

"I'm sorry, Madam and Sir. They just don't believe that you two are Charlize Theron and Vin Diesel"

And finally, after hours of waiting, and having to grapple with the fact that the German equivalent of London's Hakeem Mr Impact is a duo who don't really insist on making you dance or sing for your freeness (and have a lot more tickets and t-shirts to hand out than in London), and puzzling over German youtube and television celebrities, it's finally started!

And finally, after hours of waiting, and having to grapple with the fact that the German equivalent of London's Hakeem Mr Impact is a duo who don't really insist on making you dance or sing for your freeness (and have a lot more tickets and t-shirts to hand out than in London), and puzzling over German youtube and television celebrities, it's finally started!

F. Gary Gray directed this movie, as well as (with thanks to imdb.com) The Italian Job (2003) remake, which due to my current lack of proximity to the United Kingdom, I will happily profess to be far, far FAR superior to the original. (and, sure, it may have something to do with Charlize Theron having been in it)

F. Gary Gray directed this movie, as well as (with thanks to imdb.com) The Italian Job (2003) remake, which due to my current lack of proximity to the United Kingdom, I will happily profess to be far, far FAR superior to the original. (and, sure, it may have something to do with Charlize Theron having been in it)

"If you can't give me one of the TWO event lanyards you're wearing, can you at least let me know where I can get ONE?" - F Gary Gray's suit might be mildly dishtowel-like in design but it provides excellent contrast-detect assistance for my Pentax.

"If you can't give me one of the TWO event lanyards you're wearing, can you at least let me know where I can get ONE?" - F Gary Gray's suit might be mildly dishtowel-like in design but it provides excellent contrast-detect assistance for my Pentax.

<translated from the German> "I think I prefer the Furious over the Fast. If I had to choose a side, I mean" (edited to add : I don't know who this is, or what the sash she's wearing reads)

<translated from the German> "I think I prefer the Furious over the Fast. If I had to choose a side, I mean" (edited to add : I don't know who this is, or what the sash she's wearing reads)

Finally, the sea of humanity parts for an instance, and the still potential future Mrs Charlize Talasch poses for the Paparazzi. Sadly, the sea of humanity, much like many seas, does not stay parted for long.

Finally, the sea of humanity parts for an instance, and the still potential future Mrs Charlize Talasch poses for the Paparazzi. Sadly, the sea of humanity, much like many seas, does not stay parted for long.

"You think I'm pretty? Well.. I do get that a lot. Not as often in German, though, I grant you"

"You think I'm pretty? Well.. I do get that a lot. Not as often in German, though, I grant you"

After this shot, I think about eight trillion photographers all started blocking my view, and the GoPro mostly failed, and the other camera I had on a monopod didn't pick up much that was realiable at 1 frame per 2 seconds

After this shot, I think about eight trillion photographers all started blocking my view, and the GoPro mostly failed, and the other camera I had on a monopod didn't pick up much that was realiable at 1 frame per 2 seconds

"Hey, I remember you from that giant movie poster where you and I are all alone on the left side while everyone else stands on the right" "And that's what you noticed, and not the image of a dozen cars on a snowfield racing away from a nuclear sub in pursuit??"

"Hey, I remember you from that giant movie poster where you and I are all alone on the left side while everyone else stands on the right"
"And that's what you noticed, and not the image of a dozen cars on a snowfield racing away from a nuclear sub in pursuit??"

The only thing my brain is processing right now is that bald guys with leather jackets who wear sunglasses at night can put their arm around Charlize Theron. And I'm not wearing either right now. Thanks, brain.

The only thing my brain is processing right now is that bald guys with leather jackets who wear sunglasses at night can put their arm around Charlize Theron. And I'm not wearing either right now. Thanks, brain.

"I don't even need the jacket, Bro..."

"I don't even need the jacket, Bro..."

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want a position that's ever so slightly further left than the where you're currently standing.

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want a position that's ever so slightly further left than the where you're currently standing.

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want a position that's ever so slightly further right than the where you're currently standing.

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want a position that's ever so slightly further right than the where you're currently standing.

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want somebody to look up just ever so slightly when walking down stairs. But where safety is not a factor, I can at least console myself with knowing I've photographed Charlize Theron before at the premieres of Hancock, Prometheus and The Gunman, as well as the GQ Awards in 2013.

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want somebody to look up just ever so slightly when walking down stairs. But where safety is not a factor, I can at least console myself with knowing I've photographed Charlize Theron before at the premieres of Hancock, Prometheus and The Gunman, as well as the GQ Awards in 2013.

Some days you just don't feel like writing a caption.

Some days you just don't feel like writing a caption.

Some days you just don't feel like writing a caption 2 (this is how franchises get started)

Some days you just don't feel like writing a caption 2 (this is how franchises get started)

"Don't freak out, but that guy over there wants you to sign something you're probably not expecting" "As long as it's not a live animal or something in an aquarium, I'm game..."

"Don't freak out, but that guy over there wants you to sign something you're probably not expecting"
"As long as it's not a live animal or something in an aquarium, I'm game..."

"The rear spoiler of a Mitsubishi Evo? I'm impressed. Less so if you took it off mine...."

"The rear spoiler of a Mitsubishi Evo? I'm impressed. Less so if you took it off mine...."

"I signed it as Tyreese Gibson. I didn't ask, but I hope that's what you wanted" I've previously photographed Vin Diesel at the premieres of The Last Witch Hunter and Guardians of the Galaxy.

"I signed it as Tyreese Gibson. I didn't ask, but I hope that's what you wanted"
I've previously photographed Vin Diesel at the premieres of The Last Witch Hunter and Guardians of the Galaxy.

"If you'd brought your Nissan Pulsar, I'd maybe have signed it" yeah, but it's right hand drive and parked somewhere in the outskirts of Sydney right now....

"If you'd brought your Nissan Pulsar, I'd maybe have signed it" yeah, but it's right hand drive and parked somewhere in the outskirts of Sydney right now....

It might have failed me on the monopod, but the little GoPro did a good job taking up close photos when it started to get very crushed. Although, sitting in my room editing through these photos, I now feel compelled to ask (because I was holding a camera in each hand at that moment): whose hand is that holding Vin Diesel's bicep? And why??

It might have failed me on the monopod, but the little GoPro did a good job taking up close photos when it started to get very crushed. Although, sitting in my room editing through these photos, I now feel compelled to ask (because I was holding a camera in each hand at that moment): whose hand is that holding Vin Diesel's bicep? And why??

I suppose after seeing somebody bring an actual car part to get signed I should be less surprised at seeing a scale model of a green car in the background....

I suppose after seeing somebody bring an actual car part to get signed I should be less surprised at seeing a scale model of a green car in the background....

"If anyone can beat this score on Candy Crush, they can have my ticket to the movie, since clearly they'd deserve it more - peace out!!"

"If anyone can beat this score on Candy Crush, they can have my ticket to the movie, since clearly they'd deserve it more - peace out!!"

And...

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want a position that's ever so slightly on the top floor of a cinema balcony standing next to Charlize Theron.

You know, some days, and not even every day, you would want a position that's ever so slightly on the top floor of a cinema balcony standing next to Charlize Theron.

So... that was that. After missing the 5th and 6th Furious premieres, and London not getting one for the 7th, I can now at Fast & Furious 8 to the Archive of Movie Premieres, right next to the premiere journal for Fast & Furious (the fourth one)

Until next time!

ps. if you ever want to know when I've uploaded a premiere journal, feel free to follow me on twitter at berndt2_photo, and/or facebook at premieresdotco.