28 Nov - The 'Creed II' European Premiere

November 28th, 2018.

And so, for the fourth time in four days, London hosted a premiere - Sunday “Ralph Breaks The Internet”, Monday “Aquaman”, yesterday “Mortal Engines”, and today “Creed II”. And for the second time in two days, it rained heavily (and the rain cleared immediately after the premiere was finished) - hooray.

Tomorrow I intend to get some sleep, but for today here’s how it went down:

 For the first time ever, the red carpet for a premiere at the BFI Imax wasn’t in the circular ring surrounding the cinema, but the usually disused road leading UNDERNEATH to the cinema. No idea why they’ve never done that before : and a pretty good chance for some elevated photos.

For the first time ever, the red carpet for a premiere at the BFI Imax wasn’t in the circular ring surrounding the cinema, but the usually disused road leading UNDERNEATH to the cinema. No idea why they’ve never done that before : and a pretty good chance for some elevated photos.

 A few hours later, it’s dark, and I’ve had a mocha and pumpkin spice muffin from the cafe at the National Theatre (I heartily recommend both, and I’m not paid to say that).

A few hours later, it’s dark, and I’ve had a mocha and pumpkin spice muffin from the cafe at the National Theatre (I heartily recommend both, and I’m not paid to say that).

 Screaming dude on the poster says   “NO MR IMPACT : YOU GOTTA STOP RHYMING ‘YO WITH ‘YO’ - THAT’S NOT ALLOWED!!!”  .

Screaming dude on the poster says “NO MR IMPACT : YOU GOTTA STOP RHYMING ‘YO WITH ‘YO’ - THAT’S NOT ALLOWED!!!”.

  Screaming Poster Sez :    “Stop touching that nerve : it’s agonisingly painful!!”

Screaming Poster Sez : “Stop touching that nerve : it’s agonisingly painful!!”

 Screaming Poster Sez :   “Lady you gotta change that deodourant!!”

Screaming Poster Sez : “Lady you gotta change that deodourant!!”

  “Just gonna stand here waiting for the screaming to start.”  - Our first arrival is Dolph Lundgren, who played Ivan Drago in Rocky IV (and he was also in - and at    the premiere of Aquaman on Monday   ). Sadly, this premiere was not attended by the Silver Vespa himself <tm AlexCatalps / “Michel”> - Sylvester Stallone.

“Just gonna stand here waiting for the screaming to start.”
- Our first arrival is Dolph Lundgren, who played Ivan Drago in Rocky IV (and he was also in - and at the premiere of Aquaman on Monday). Sadly, this premiere was not attended by the Silver Vespa himself <tm AlexCatalps / “Michel”> - Sylvester Stallone.

  “Wait - this might be the first time Dad has done something cool EVER!! I gotta photograph it and instagram it immediately”  Dolph Lundgren was also He-Man in Masters of the Universe (1987), but outside of the Basil Poledouris soundtrack that is a bit of an acquired taste.

“Wait - this might be the first time Dad has done something cool EVER!! I gotta photograph it and instagram it immediately”
Dolph Lundgren was also He-Man in Masters of the Universe (1987), but outside of the Basil Poledouris soundtrack that is a bit of an acquired taste.

  “You want me to record a voice message so you can capture my voice and use it to crack open voice-secured vaults, right?” ”….” ”Because nobody uses voicemail anymore, right?”

“You want me to record a voice message so you can capture my voice and use it to crack open voice-secured vaults, right?”
”….”
”Because nobody uses voicemail anymore, right?”

  “Go on. Ask me Why I’m called That”  For some intriguing (?) reason, according to imdb.com, Florian Munteanu is credited as “Florian “Big Nasty” Munteanu” in the credits of this movie.

“Go on. Ask me Why I’m called That”
For some intriguing (?) reason, according to imdb.com, Florian Munteanu is credited as “Florian “Big Nasty” Munteanu” in the credits of this movie.

  “I could punch you for saying that, even though you actually said nothing, but the point is everyone else doesn’t know that and let’s face it, it would be excellent promotion for this film.”

“I could punch you for saying that, even though you actually said nothing, but the point is everyone else doesn’t know that and let’s face it, it would be excellent promotion for this film.”

  “You’re right. That third ‘Jingle All The Way’ movie would totally work with Sly in the role. Or Jason Statham, I suppose. He’s good too.”  - Dolph Lundgren was in the 2nd, Arnie in the 1st.

“You’re right. That third ‘Jingle All The Way’ movie would totally work with Sly in the role. Or Jason Statham, I suppose. He’s good too.” - Dolph Lundgren was in the 2nd, Arnie in the 1st.

  “Is that a gang sign? Please tell me it’s just a gang sign and you’re not literally going to kill me right here”  - it kind of goes without saying that Florian Munteanu plays the prime (?) antagonist Viktor Drago (Ivan’s son) in this movie.

“Is that a gang sign? Please tell me it’s just a gang sign and you’re not literally going to kill me right here” - it kind of goes without saying that Florian Munteanu plays the prime (?) antagonist Viktor Drago (Ivan’s son) in this movie.

  “You’d better not ever have said, thought, or even been passingly inclined to consider anything negative about me, anyone I know, or anyone who knows anyone I know… or I’ll come up there and extract an apology from you surgically.”  And I suspect Florian Munteanu is not a trained surgeon, either.

“You’d better not ever have said, thought, or even been passingly inclined to consider anything negative about me, anyone I know, or anyone who knows anyone I know… or I’ll come up there and extract an apology from you surgically.”
And I suspect Florian Munteanu is not a trained surgeon, either.

  “As long as you promise me you’ll straighten that horizon in photoshop before uploading it anywhere, I’ll accept the angle you’re shooting with”  It’s Michael B Jordan! And now that I’ve photographed him I might upload/retcon a ‘genuine’ Black Panther premiere journal to supplement the one that London (apparently) had this year.

“As long as you promise me you’ll straighten that horizon in photoshop before uploading it anywhere, I’ll accept the angle you’re shooting with”
It’s Michael B Jordan! And now that I’ve photographed him I might upload/retcon a ‘genuine’ Black Panther premiere journal to supplement the one that London (apparently) had this year.

  “Hey, man. Brexit is your problem, I ain’t gonna help you negotiate that. Also… you voted to leave BEFORE you figured out where you’re going? Interesting choice, there” -  I hypothesise that this is what he said but I should caution that I can’t lip read.

“Hey, man. Brexit is your problem, I ain’t gonna help you negotiate that. Also… you voted to leave BEFORE you figured out where you’re going? Interesting choice, there”
-
I hypothesise that this is what he said but I should caution that I can’t lip read.

  “All right, what is it?” ”Prithee Master, I must inform thee that the goat entrails have spoken, and thou hadst better prepareth….” ”Soothsayers don’t have to talk like that, you know. And seriously - you killed a goat??” ”Actually, No…. I got somebody else to do it….”

“All right, what is it?”
”Prithee Master, I must inform thee that the goat entrails have spoken, and thou hadst better prepareth….”
”Soothsayers don’t have to talk like that, you know. And seriously - you killed a goat??”
”Actually, No…. I got somebody else to do it….”

 Under situations of less rain, I might have stood on the bridge up top and taken longer-range shots, but with the rain I felt it was better to take a central position and keep angles in reserve.

Under situations of less rain, I might have stood on the bridge up top and taken longer-range shots, but with the rain I felt it was better to take a central position and keep angles in reserve.

  “I have to go back? But I just came from that direction…. it’s not elegant is what I’m saying”  Michael B Jordan played the role of (erm…) “Erik Killmonger” in the 2018 US box office champ ‘Black Panther’. If you haven’t seen the movie, the name might give away that he’s the villain.

“I have to go back? But I just came from that direction…. it’s not elegant is what I’m saying”
Michael B Jordan played the role of (erm…) “Erik Killmonger” in the 2018 US box office champ ‘Black Panther’. If you haven’t seen the movie, the name might give away that he’s the villain.

  “You just remembered the movie Fant4stic, didn’t you? Please don’t”

“You just remembered the movie Fant4stic, didn’t you? Please don’t”

  “I’m going easy on you, but when you tell other people about this fist-bump, you’d better big up the amount of pain and bruising it caused, understand?”

“I’m going easy on you, but when you tell other people about this fist-bump, you’d better big up the amount of pain and bruising it caused, understand?”

  “You’d better not break my heart and misidentify this flag” ”…..” ”One of you guys thought ‘Barbados’, didn’t you?”

“You’d better not break my heart and misidentify this flag”
”…..”
”One of you guys thought ‘Barbados’, didn’t you?”

  “You realise that the last big franchise to hit its eighth episode was Star Wars. You reckon your film is better than The Last Jedi?” ”The last thing I scraped off week-old dishes and put in the garbage was better than that film” ”Can I quote you on that?” ”Nope.” ”……” ”It’s still true, though”

“You realise that the last big franchise to hit its eighth episode was Star Wars. You reckon your film is better than The Last Jedi?”
”The last thing I scraped off week-old dishes and put in the garbage was better than that film”
”Can I quote you on that?”
”Nope.”
”……”
”It’s still true, though”

  “You like the colour? You haven’t even seen the rest of the dress yet!”  - Tessa Thompson plays Bianca, Michael B Jordan’s girlfriend’s character, in the movie. She was also Valkyrie in Thor : Ragnarok.

“You like the colour? You haven’t even seen the rest of the dress yet!”
- Tessa Thompson plays Bianca, Michael B Jordan’s girlfriend’s character, in the movie. She was also Valkyrie in Thor : Ragnarok.

  “I’m pretty sure they fell back there somewhere, but if you can’t find my car keys, don’t worry I think they’re letting me use the limo until tomorrow”

“I’m pretty sure they fell back there somewhere, but if you can’t find my car keys, don’t worry I think they’re letting me use the limo until tomorrow”

  “On any other day I’d happily twirl it, but I think the amount of water this dress has soaked up has tripled its weight….”

“On any other day I’d happily twirl it, but I think the amount of water this dress has soaked up has tripled its weight….”

  “I could deck you from over here. Do you doubt it? You should - I don’t have that much reach”  Brigitte Nielsen was in Rocky IV and reprises her role of Ludmilla in this film. She was also in the 1980s Classic “Cobra”, which features one of the most 1980s of soundtracks of the 1980s.

“I could deck you from over here. Do you doubt it? You should - I don’t have that much reach”
Brigitte Nielsen was in Rocky IV and reprises her role of Ludmilla in this film. She was also in the 1980s Classic “Cobra”, which features one of the most 1980s of soundtracks of the 1980s.

  “Nah, I got heaps of time. Let’s watch your pirated copy of this movie right here and now”

“Nah, I got heaps of time. Let’s watch your pirated copy of this movie right here and now”

  “Pirated copy of what, now?”

“Pirated copy of what, now?”

  “This would be slightly more discreet under a nontransparent umbrella” ”And that’s why I wouldn’t do it under those circumstances”

“This would be slightly more discreet under a nontransparent umbrella”
”And that’s why I wouldn’t do it under those circumstances”

  “I’ll admit Ludmilla II wouldn’t have worked as well, or logically within the canon. But don’t think I didn’t lobby hard for it”

“I’ll admit Ludmilla II wouldn’t have worked as well, or logically within the canon. But don’t think I didn’t lobby hard for it”

  “We were always going to go with Creed II… even if the market research showed 80% of the market don’t understand Roman Numerals anymore”

“We were always going to go with Creed II… even if the market research showed 80% of the market don’t understand Roman Numerals anymore”

  “You were awesome in that movie. Can I get a selfie?” ”Only if you elaborate on the movie….. and maybe not even then”

“You were awesome in that movie. Can I get a selfie?”
”Only if you elaborate on the movie….. and maybe not even then”

  “Nope, not even then. I’m outta here”

“Nope, not even then. I’m outta here”

So… that was that. Four premieres in four days, as well as an Ennio Moriccone concert and a Taika Waitit screentalk. No premieres til late next week, now, which I’m almost glad about. And if the premiere I’m thinking of is actually a Gala, it makes Creed II my last premiere (though not event) of the year.

So with a bit more uncertainty than usual… Until Next Time!

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27 Nov - The 'Mortal Engines' World Premiere

November 27th, 2018.

After yesterday’s ‘Aquaman’ World Premiere, it was just one day later that London had another world premiere…. this one for the (I’m assuming) Young Adult (I’m assuming) series ‘Mortal Engines’. The forecast was for rain…. I just didn’t check that forecast until I got outside this afternoon, and found it was… well…. raining. Hard.

Here’s how it went down:

 The forecast was for stuff falling from the skies, sometimes heavily, throughout the premiere. It failed to mention that it would also churlishly stop more or less the instant the premiere ended.

The forecast was for stuff falling from the skies, sometimes heavily, throughout the premiere. It failed to mention that it would also churlishly stop more or less the instant the premiere ended.

  “I mean… I can’t say for certain, Susan… but I’m pretty sure you’re doing it wrong”

“I mean… I can’t say for certain, Susan… but I’m pretty sure you’re doing it wrong”

  “So if you can rhyme something with ‘Mortal’ and something with ‘Engines’ I can fix you up with some freeness. Bonus points if you can tell me any two of the five production companies involved in this”  Your friend and mine, Hakeem Mr Impact and DJ Portal 2 Vengeance were the warmup act

“So if you can rhyme something with ‘Mortal’ and something with ‘Engines’ I can fix you up with some freeness. Bonus points if you can tell me any two of the five production companies involved in this”
Your friend and mine, Hakeem Mr Impact and DJ Portal 2 Vengeance were the warmup act

 The Captain Phasma prequel was taking some interesting directions ….

The Captain Phasma prequel was taking some interesting directions ….

  “Toughen up, guys. This weather is what we call a warm day in Wellington”  - Philippa Boyens is one of this film’s three screenwriters (the same ones that won an Oscar for The Lord of the Rings’ third instalment The Return of the King.

“Toughen up, guys. This weather is what we call a warm day in Wellington”
- Philippa Boyens is one of this film’s three screenwriters (the same ones that won an Oscar for The Lord of the Rings’ third instalment The Return of the King.

  “Call it speculative young adult fiction if you want, but a London On Wheels might be just the Brexit solution you’re headed towards” (copyright Carlos Vieites)  Compared to most of the possible outcomes…. it’s probably the coolest. And most true to the notion of ‘freedom of movement’

“Call it speculative young adult fiction if you want, but a London On Wheels might be just the Brexit solution you’re headed towards” (copyright Carlos Vieites)
Compared to most of the possible outcomes…. it’s probably the coolest. And most true to the notion of ‘freedom of movement’

  “Some d1ckhead is telling me to stop texting and walking” ”That’d be me.”

“Some d1ckhead is telling me to stop texting and walking”
”That’d be me.”

 This well-dressed and nobody’s asking for his autograph? I’d ask just so I can google his tailor.

This well-dressed and nobody’s asking for his autograph? I’d ask just so I can google his tailor.

 I haven’t seen anybody pose so confidently and yet with such potential instability. The man responsible : this movie’s male lead Robert Sheehan.

I haven’t seen anybody pose so confidently and yet with such potential instability. The man responsible : this movie’s male lead Robert Sheehan.

 The prior photo was a bit of an aberration : this is the view into the main ‘posing’ area that I got for the most part…. even when guests and ticketholders WEREN’T walking in front of it.

The prior photo was a bit of an aberration : this is the view into the main ‘posing’ area that I got for the most part…. even when guests and ticketholders WEREN’T walking in front of it.

  “No. I’m tired of being told to turn right….”  - Leila George is in this movie.

“No. I’m tired of being told to turn right….” - Leila George is in this movie.

 It’s Australia’s own Hugo Weaving! Across nearly 500 premieres over ten years…. I’ve never previously had even an opportunity to photograph him. And given he’s been in everything from Lord of the Rings to The Matrix Trilogy, the Transformers films to Captain America… and of course V for Vendetta. In other words : he’s a big name to ‘get’… and a big name to fail to get an autograph from at an under-attended, uncrowded premiere

It’s Australia’s own Hugo Weaving! Across nearly 500 premieres over ten years…. I’ve never previously had even an opportunity to photograph him. And given he’s been in everything from Lord of the Rings to The Matrix Trilogy, the Transformers films to Captain America… and of course V for Vendetta. In other words : he’s a big name to ‘get’… and a big name to fail to get an autograph from at an under-attended, uncrowded premiere

  “I had more hair in the Matrix? Well, that was my residual self-image, boy”  I have all kinds of trouble with my flowing windswept blonde hair in the Matrix. So much so that it’s almost a relief to return to the real world.

“I had more hair in the Matrix? Well, that was my residual self-image, boy”
I have all kinds of trouble with my flowing windswept blonde hair in the Matrix. So much so that it’s almost a relief to return to the real world.

  “The Magic Pudding? An Australian classic. You should totally track it down”  - Hugo Weaving provided the voice of Bill Barnacle in that film, which I’m very certain you’ve never heard of.

“The Magic Pudding? An Australian classic. You should totally track it down” - Hugo Weaving provided the voice of Bill Barnacle in that film, which I’m very certain you’ve never heard of.

  “Oh yeah: I was the guy in the mask in that! Totally forgot” . Sadly, Hugo Weaving’s large bodyguard/attendant/soothsayer/stylist/investment strategist in the foreground blocked him from more or less signing anywhere EXCEPT the dealer area, where he was buffeted by more and more things to be signed by the same people. Damnit.

“Oh yeah: I was the guy in the mask in that! Totally forgot”.
Sadly, Hugo Weaving’s large bodyguard/attendant/soothsayer/stylist/investment strategist in the foreground blocked him from more or less signing anywhere EXCEPT the dealer area, where he was buffeted by more and more things to be signed by the same people. Damnit.

  “They certainly seem to like that Matrix fellow. How much money did HIS movie make?” ”Less than yours, Dear” ”That’s right. They ALL made less than the one I was in…. “  Stephen Lang is best known for being in    James Cameron’s “Avatar”    which despite Disney’s purchase of Marvel and Star Wars remains the highest grossing movie of all time.

“They certainly seem to like that Matrix fellow. How much money did HIS movie make?”
”Less than yours, Dear”
”That’s right. They ALL made less than the one I was in…. “

Stephen Lang is best known for being in James Cameron’s “Avatar” which despite Disney’s purchase of Marvel and Star Wars remains the highest grossing movie of all time.

 It’s New Zealand’s own Peter Jackson! He directed The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies,a and I missed out on getting his autograph by just one (1) person back in 2009 at the premiere of    “The Lovely Bones”

It’s New Zealand’s own Peter Jackson! He directed The Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies,a and I missed out on getting his autograph by just one (1) person back in 2009 at the premiere of “The Lovely Bones”

 Just to make things more challenging : the front element of the Nikon is now so waterlogged that it’s focussing on the raindrops rather than the people in front of it. I’d wipe it with something dry, but not much that I’m wearing constitutes “something dry” right now.

Just to make things more challenging : the front element of the Nikon is now so waterlogged that it’s focussing on the raindrops rather than the people in front of it. I’d wipe it with something dry, but not much that I’m wearing constitutes “something dry” right now.

 The Nikon valiantly shoots past the greasy streaks my sleeve has put on the lens, as she appraoches the stage to be interviewed and be asked, I’m guessing, what &lt;insert name of member of cast and/or crew&gt; was like to work with. I’m guessing they were lovely.

The Nikon valiantly shoots past the greasy streaks my sleeve has put on the lens, as she appraoches the stage to be interviewed and be asked, I’m guessing, what <insert name of member of cast and/or crew> was like to work with. I’m guessing they were lovely.

  “Quite lovely, actually. And by that I mean the weather everywhere I’ve been in the last six months. Right here and now? Not so much”

“Quite lovely, actually. And by that I mean the weather everywhere I’ve been in the last six months. Right here and now? Not so much”

 And….. just like eight years ago, but this time because of a large personal assistant / psychic guide / fashion consultant / human mountain, I once again missed out on getting Peter Jackson’s autograph by just one (1) person when I put down the camera moments after taking this shot. Siiiigh. I know he’s from New Zealand and I’m from Australia… but REALLY?? Damn.

And….. just like eight years ago, but this time because of a large personal assistant / psychic guide / fashion consultant / human mountain, I once again missed out on getting Peter Jackson’s autograph by just one (1) person when I put down the camera moments after taking this shot. Siiiigh. I know he’s from New Zealand and I’m from Australia… but REALLY?? Damn.

  “But none of you are young girls? What on earth do I have to offer you, and why DO you want my autograph?”  - Robert Sheehan is no doubt somebody your teenage daughter of has as a poster on her wall (or… hologram on her iCube or whatever teenage girls have now)

“But none of you are young girls? What on earth do I have to offer you, and why DO you want my autograph?” - Robert Sheehan is no doubt somebody your teenage daughter of has as a poster on her wall (or… hologram on her iCube or whatever teenage girls have now)

  “You have a thing with Alex Zane?” ”yeah.. .is that a problem?” ”As long as you’re not looking at the look on my face, absolutely not”

“You have a thing with Alex Zane?”
”yeah.. .is that a problem?”
”As long as you’re not looking at the look on my face, absolutely not”

 Robert Sheehan’s shoes might be slightly more stylish than my ‘dangerous on slippery ground’ Sketchers… but I’m pretty sure they’re just as waterlogged.

Robert Sheehan’s shoes might be slightly more stylish than my ‘dangerous on slippery ground’ Sketchers… but I’m pretty sure they’re just as waterlogged.

 We shared a moment over our waterlogged shoes, and it was quite the entirely uncomfortable, sodden thing.

We shared a moment over our waterlogged shoes, and it was quite the entirely uncomfortable, sodden thing.

  “He’s going to ask you what it was like to work with Peter Jackson. It sounds like a trick question, but it’s not.”  - Christian Rivers is the director of this movie, and is previously best known for his art department roles in Peter Jackson-directed films like King Kong, The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit(ses)

“He’s going to ask you what it was like to work with Peter Jackson. It sounds like a trick question, but it’s not.” - Christian Rivers is the director of this movie, and is previously best known for his art department roles in Peter Jackson-directed films like King Kong, The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit(ses)

  “HE WAS AWESOME TO WORK WITH - HE’S A TRUE GENTLEMAN!!!” ”I’m just the guy holding your umbrella, Sir. And Alex was asking about Leila George”

“HE WAS AWESOME TO WORK WITH - HE’S A TRUE GENTLEMAN!!!”
”I’m just the guy holding your umbrella, Sir. And Alex was asking about Leila George”

  “Nothing personal, yeah?”  Eh. ‘Nothing personal’ is typically just code for ‘I don’t care enough abouty you to give a specific crap’. And I’m just an entitled whiner. I’m still not even grateful for all the hard work Disney put into those star wars sequels…. (where was I? getting wet and mad at a mortal engines premiere?)

“Nothing personal, yeah?” Eh. ‘Nothing personal’ is typically just code for ‘I don’t care enough abouty you to give a specific crap’. And I’m just an entitled whiner. I’m still not even grateful for all the hard work Disney put into those star wars sequels…. (where was I? getting wet and mad at a mortal engines premiere?)

  “The guy with the umbrella is doing that thing again, isn’t he? I love it”  The Umbrella Guy had an annoying habit of holding the umbrella between the subject and the light source causing a shadow to fall on the face of the person being interviewed.

“The guy with the umbrella is doing that thing again, isn’t he? I love it”
The Umbrella Guy had an annoying habit of holding the umbrella between the subject and the light source causing a shadow to fall on the face of the person being interviewed.

  “Little to the left. No, your left. Actually, both of our lefts. Or the opposite. And don’t mention Avatar again”  - I think it might be a bit of a spoiler for imdb.com to state that Stephen Lang is in the next FOUR Avatar sequels. You know… given his character freaking DIED in the first one?

“Little to the left. No, your left. Actually, both of our lefts. Or the opposite. And don’t mention Avatar again” - I think it might be a bit of a spoiler for imdb.com to state that Stephen Lang is in the next FOUR Avatar sequels. You know… given his character freaking DIED in the first one?

 I was one to the right of the guy whose face is in the top right hand corner. And he got his item signed by Hugo Weaving. Me? Autograph-less. Only Gal Gadot cared enough to sign my Moleskine journal. And yes, I realise that makes me the ultimate winner here :)

I was one to the right of the guy whose face is in the top right hand corner. And he got his item signed by Hugo Weaving. Me? Autograph-less. Only Gal Gadot cared enough to sign my Moleskine journal. And yes, I realise that makes me the ultimate winner here :)

  “Yeah… signed for a couple of ‘em. Left the rest wanting. It’s what we do, Alex”  It’s certainly some kind of thing.

“Yeah… signed for a couple of ‘em. Left the rest wanting. It’s what we do, Alex”
It’s certainly some kind of thing.

 The enigmatically named Korean singer ‘Jihae’ has certainly brought out the best in Umbrella Guy. That shadow is also being captured by the INTERVIEW CAMERA that’s broadcasting this interview, bro! Think three-dimensionally, man : it’s the 21st Century!

The enigmatically named Korean singer ‘Jihae’ has certainly brought out the best in Umbrella Guy. That shadow is also being captured by the INTERVIEW CAMERA that’s broadcasting this interview, bro! Think three-dimensionally, man : it’s the 21st Century!

 According to the ever-useful imdb.com, Jihae is best otherwise known for being in 12 episodes of the National Geographic series ‘Mars’, something I’m more aware of the soundtrack of than the series, but that’s how twitter’s algorithm has profiled me…

According to the ever-useful imdb.com, Jihae is best otherwise known for being in 12 episodes of the National Geographic series ‘Mars’, something I’m more aware of the soundtrack of than the series, but that’s how twitter’s algorithm has profiled me…

 Hera Hilmar is both Icelandic and the lead in this movie. The shadow on her face, in case you’re interested, is migrating inevitably rightwards

Hera Hilmar is both Icelandic and the lead in this movie. The shadow on her face, in case you’re interested, is migrating inevitably rightwards

 A hairswish and neck-twist a day keeps the umbrella shadow at bay. Briefly.

A hairswish and neck-twist a day keeps the umbrella shadow at bay. Briefly.

  “Robert said that about me? That’s so sweet! But only if it was unprompted. Otherwise it’s just base politeness, and I won’t stand for that”

“Robert said that about me? That’s so sweet! But only if it was unprompted. Otherwise it’s just base politeness, and I won’t stand for that”

so.. that was that. My shoes were waterlogged, my cameras waterlogged, and water had fortunately only penetrated through two of my four upper layers and one of my lower layers. I’ve done three premieres in three days, and tomorrow is set to be the fourth. but it’ll be tough : it’s not as central as these, and arguably cast-wise it’s the biggest.

Until next time? If not tomorrow then possibly perhaps once or twice more next month…

For now it’s +1 to the Archive of Premieres, and the hope that I will one day soon have more genuine twitter followers than persons-with-primarily-mysterious-Indonesian-political-agendas-who-started-following-me-for-some-reason. That’ll be nice. As for facebook? Eh… those journals get me hardly any links, and all their advertising is based on profiling of me that is basically insulting. (It’s always nice to be misunderstood by an ‘advanced’ algorithm)

26 Nov - The 'Aquaman' World Premiere

November 26th, 2018.

I only got home at midnight tonight (whereas for yesterdays Ralph Breaks The Internet premiere yesterday I was in BED by 10pm)… so much of this journal is/was ‘the best I can do by 1am for a 5am alarm I’m committing to get up for. And there’s also another premiere the next day AND one the day after that.

But you don’t care about that. Like everyone, you care about the DC Cinematic Universe’s latest addition: Aquaman (?). Here’s how it went down:

   It’s from the people who brought you all your favourite DC Cinematic Universe Movies, like &lt;insert any movie other than ‘Wonder Woman’&gt; !!!

It’s from the people who brought you all your favourite DC Cinematic Universe Movies, like <insert any movie other than ‘Wonder Woman’> !!!

  Yarrrr… she be a fine carpet, placid and blue … but sadly I’ll not be walkin’ upon ye, or be anywhere near ye. I’ve got an 8pm appointment at North Greenwich (Ennio Moriccone concert, ticket purchased months ago). What to do…..

Yarrrr… she be a fine carpet, placid and blue… but sadly I’ll not be walkin’ upon ye, or be anywhere near ye. I’ve got an 8pm appointment at North Greenwich (Ennio Moriccone concert, ticket purchased months ago). What to do…..

 While I pondered my options, I found a spot in a nearby cafe that just happened to be overlooking part of the proceedings. The cappuccino was excellent and the pistachio cheesecake outstanding, incidentally.

While I pondered my options, I found a spot in a nearby cafe that just happened to be overlooking part of the proceedings. The cappuccino was excellent and the pistachio cheesecake outstanding, incidentally.

  “Well, it’s a strangely metal-gloved arm holding a trident coming out of the ocean… it weird if the dog DIDN’T find it a bit suspicious…”

“Well, it’s a strangely metal-gloved arm holding a trident coming out of the ocean… it weird if the dog DIDN’T find it a bit suspicious…”

 When you find the exact pose, angle and lighting for that selfie with Jason Momoa and you just ain’t movin’ for anyone or any reason until that happens.

When you find the exact pose, angle and lighting for that selfie with Jason Momoa and you just ain’t movin’ for anyone or any reason until that happens.

  “Is it real, you ask? Well, that depends on what your definition of ‘is’, ‘it’, and ‘real’ is. But it’s yes to at least two of those…”

“Is it real, you ask? Well, that depends on what your definition of ‘is’, ‘it’, and ‘real’ is. But it’s yes to at least two of those…”

  “Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Actually… it almost certainly isn’t that guy”

“Look! Up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Actually… it almost certainly isn’t that guy”

  “Security? I don’t know these people and they’re showing much more familiarity than I’m comfortable with”

“Security? I don’t know these people and they’re showing much more familiarity than I’m comfortable with”

  “No, I will not give a high-five to a man with such a cryptic ring configuration. Explain what it means first” -  it’s Jason Momoa : the titular Aquaman himself. I assume he hitched his seahorse outside a nearby saloon (or Lego Store) and ambled onto the carpet leaving wet bootprints in his wake.

“No, I will not give a high-five to a man with such a cryptic ring configuration. Explain what it means first” - it’s Jason Momoa : the titular Aquaman himself. I assume he hitched his seahorse outside a nearby saloon (or Lego Store) and ambled onto the carpet leaving wet bootprints in his wake.

  “Yeah, but imma keep callin’ it a fork anyway. You gonna stop me?” ”….” ”I thought not”

“Yeah, but imma keep callin’ it a fork anyway. You gonna stop me?”
”….”
”I thought not”

  “You can ask me any question you like, bro. As long as it’s not about the man-bun. Your hairstyle disqualifies you from asking”

“You can ask me any question you like, bro. As long as it’s not about the man-bun. Your hairstyle disqualifies you from asking”

  “By having a higher leg cut I can stay dry in shallow water. See? I did come dressed in theme!!”  I have no idea who this is, but I’m comfortable with the colour, even if my camera’s white-balance remains wary.

“By having a higher leg cut I can stay dry in shallow water. See? I did come dressed in theme!!”
I have no idea who this is, but I’m comfortable with the colour, even if my camera’s white-balance remains wary.

  “The look of disdainful disinterest on the face of the lady on my left is challenging my self-image, and in a world of sycophantic yes-men and yes-women, it’s refreshing”

“The look of disdainful disinterest on the face of the lady on my left is challenging my self-image, and in a world of sycophantic yes-men and yes-women, it’s refreshing”

  “High five? I’m from Hollywood, bro. That’s not how we do them there”  It’s Patrick Wilson! His last superhero outing was    ‘Watchmen’ in 2009   … or perhaps ‘Stoker’ if like me you kind of over-like that movie.

“High five? I’m from Hollywood, bro. That’s not how we do them there”
It’s Patrick Wilson! His last superhero outing was ‘Watchmen’ in 2009… or perhaps ‘Stoker’ if like me you kind of over-like that movie.

  “Staying hydrated. So very important”  - I was actually disproportionately pleased to have taken a photo of Jason Momoa taking a sip of water, but then Amber Heard hadn’t shown up yet….

“Staying hydrated. So very important” - I was actually disproportionately pleased to have taken a photo of Jason Momoa taking a sip of water, but then Amber Heard hadn’t shown up yet….

 If you only take one photo of Amber Heard framed by light-beams while wearing a shower-cap, why not (a) make it this one, or

If you only take one photo of Amber Heard framed by light-beams while wearing a shower-cap, why not (a) make it this one, or

 (b) perhaps this one? Or even more, if the opportunity allows? (I checked my watch at this point, and for another twenty five minutes… it allows)

(b) perhaps this one? Or even more, if the opportunity allows?
(I checked my watch at this point, and for another twenty five minutes… it allows)

  “No pressure, but each of these rhinestones was hand-carved and is insured for $25,000. And we went with the No Excess plan….”

“No pressure, but each of these rhinestones was hand-carved and is insured for $25,000. And we went with the No Excess plan….”

  “I assume this means you think I’m pretty?” -  I’ve photographed Amber Heard at such premieres as    ‘Mortdecai’   , (briefly)    ‘Black Mass’   , and    'Magic Mike XXL’   . And even though I photographed the stunning    Gal Gadot yesterday   … yeah, Amber Heard is pretty.

“I assume this means you think I’m pretty?” - I’ve photographed Amber Heard at such premieres as ‘Mortdecai’, (briefly) ‘Black Mass’, and 'Magic Mike XXL’. And even though I photographed the stunning Gal Gadot yesterday… yeah, Amber Heard is pretty.

  “If I can’t get eye-contact from Amber Heard I might as well hang myself right here and now” ”But she hasn’t even come to our part yet” ”I can’t take that risk, Frank….”

“If I can’t get eye-contact from Amber Heard I might as well hang myself right here and now”
”But she hasn’t even come to our part yet”
”I can’t take that risk, Frank….”

 …. every now and then I can’t immediately think of a comment for a photo. All I’ve got is   “nice hat?”   but even behind the pane of glass I’m behind, I don’t want to make a bad impression.

…. every now and then I can’t immediately think of a comment for a photo. All I’ve got is “nice hat?” but even behind the pane of glass I’m behind, I don’t want to make a bad impression.

  “I come dressed like this and you wear what you’re wearing that?  I’ve temporarily forgotten the name of the character Amber Heard plays in the movie… I think it doesn’t matter.

“I come dressed like this and you wear what you’re wearing that?
I’ve temporarily forgotten the name of the character Amber Heard plays in the movie… I think it doesn’t matter.

  “I thought we’d specially trained those lobsters to carry my dress’ train on the carpet?? …. well, WAKE THEM!!”

“I thought we’d specially trained those lobsters to carry my dress’ train on the carpet??
…. well, WAKE THEM!!”

 Is it more important to get (yet another) shot of Amber Heard, or catch the director of the film in focus in a rare moment of exuberance? I… stand by my decision.

Is it more important to get (yet another) shot of Amber Heard, or catch the director of the film in focus in a rare moment of exuberance? I… stand by my decision.

  “Don’t even try hand signals with me, dude”  Director James Wan looks all of nineteen years old.  “Azn Genes, baby”  is how one of my (Asian) friends once put it. Me and my vaguely Romanian / Balkan ancestors will get back to you…

“Don’t even try hand signals with me, dude”
Director James Wan looks all of nineteen years old. “Azn Genes, baby” is how one of my (Asian) friends once put it. Me and my vaguely Romanian / Balkan ancestors will get back to you…

  “What character do I play in the film? I don’t know… I was mostly wearing dots and standing in front of a green-screen. Maybe a forgetful blue tang called Dory? Or an overly paternal clownfish looking for his son Nemo? The cheque cleared, though, so this movie’s Awesome.”

“What character do I play in the film? I don’t know… I was mostly wearing dots and standing in front of a green-screen. Maybe a forgetful blue tang called Dory? Or an overly paternal clownfish looking for his son Nemo? The cheque cleared, though, so this movie’s Awesome.”

  “I’m putting my name onscreen as having directed a DC movie and you call my HAIRSTYLE ‘brave’??”

“I’m putting my name onscreen as having directed a DC movie and you call my HAIRSTYLE ‘brave’??”

  “What happened to the guy whose hand had the crazy ring configuration?”  It’s composer Rupert Gregson-Williams!! He also composed the excellent score to last year’s “Wonder Woman”. Assuming it’s not illegal where you are, go onto youtube and listen to    “We Are All To Blame”    -it’s not just true, it’s a great track.

“What happened to the guy whose hand had the crazy ring configuration?”
It’s composer Rupert Gregson-Williams!! He also composed the excellent score to last year’s “Wonder Woman”. Assuming it’s not illegal where you are, go onto youtube and listen to “We Are All To Blame” -it’s not just true, it’s a great track.

  “Even the composer scored a full high-five invitation and you’re barely giving me two fingers? What’s that all about?”

“Even the composer scored a full high-five invitation and you’re barely giving me two fingers? What’s that all about?”

  “Well… we tried to get the dolphins to sing in unison and that didn’t work because they were out of the water and in some distress, so we tried to sink the orchestra so they were underwater and that didn’t work so well either….. in the end we made a compromise”

“Well… we tried to get the dolphins to sing in unison and that didn’t work because they were out of the water and in some distress, so we tried to sink the orchestra so they were underwater and that didn’t work so well either….. in the end we made a compromise”

  “I think he thinks they’re asking him questions about the fourth film in the Expendables franchise” ”But they haven’t made one….” ”That’s what makes it so interesting….”

“I think he thinks they’re asking him questions about the fourth film in the Expendables franchise”
”But they haven’t made one….”
”That’s what makes it so interesting….”

  “If this makes me look like I’m auditioning for a gender-swapped Joker role, I will never forgive you…”

“If this makes me look like I’m auditioning for a gender-swapped Joker role, I will never forgive you…”

  “… but if I get the role I might.”

“… but if I get the role I might.”

  “The Dress kind of goes where it wants…. but okay if it wants to go over here, I’ll follow”

“The Dress kind of goes where it wants…. but okay if it wants to go over here, I’ll follow”

So… that was that. At 6:45pm I headed off to the Northern Line to get to the Jubilee Line and zip across to North Greenwich and the O2 for the Ennio Moriccone concert…. where they let me take in my 40Megapixel Huawei phone, my full-frame 36Megapixel Pentax…. but confiscated my fisheye lens 12Megapixel GOPRO because (and I quote) “it’s a recording device”. Morons.

But the point is : I did a World Premiere and a Final London Concert conducted by a 90 year old film scoring legend.

 It was excellent, it goes without saying.

It was excellent, it goes without saying.

Until next time!

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