13 Nov - The 'Fantastic Beasts : The Crimes of Grindelwald' Premiere

November 13th, 2018.

After waiting the longest I’ve ever waited for a wristband (with the exception of the Baftas), it only took until approximately ten minutes before this premiere started (and I’d been in a pen for nearly three hours) a day later…. that I abruptly abandoned my spot and took a back-row position for this premiere… probably the biggest one I’ll do in London this year.

Note : the first Fantastic Beasts premiere was certainly huge. It was so big I did colour and monochrome journals for it… this one?

And today was one of those days….. actually it was one of those days where it wasn’t even the worst decision I could have made. Here’s how it went down:

A fortnight earlier: Harry Potter wands in the avenue between St Paul’s and the Millennium Bridge:

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“Not exactly discreet….”

“Not exactly discreet….”

And then, on the day…

It was called the longest carpet in Leicester Square, and that was kind of true. If you took a regular premiere at the Empire, and a regular premiere at the Vue, and had the red (blue) carpet for each AND a third bit of carpet JOINING the two carpets, that’s what this was. And you know the WORST place to be on that carpet. Dead centre - equidistant from both ends.  And guess where I was? Yep. And next to the screaming fans from Brazil.

It was called the longest carpet in Leicester Square, and that was kind of true. If you took a regular premiere at the Empire, and a regular premiere at the Vue, and had the red (blue) carpet for each AND a third bit of carpet JOINING the two carpets, that’s what this was. And you know the WORST place to be on that carpet. Dead centre - equidistant from both ends.

And guess where I was? Yep. And next to the screaming fans from Brazil.

What I do have, though, that the average over-excited mobile-phone-toting Brazilian Harry Potter fan does not, is a camera that can nail this shot of a falling leaf on a single attempt. Coupled with an overall sense of pessimism I take with me everywhere, the two almost cancel each other out.

What I do have, though, that the average over-excited mobile-phone-toting Brazilian Harry Potter fan does not, is a camera that can nail this shot of a falling leaf on a single attempt. Coupled with an overall sense of pessimism I take with me everywhere, the two almost cancel each other out.

Of course there’s always sixth row at the King of Burgers, and a possible view of the stage in the far distance, along with cheap(ish) price/quality food and beverages. And relative warmth.

Of course there’s always sixth row at the King of Burgers, and a possible view of the stage in the far distance, along with cheap(ish) price/quality food and beverages. And relative warmth.

“Yoyoyo… who’s gonna come at me with something that rhymes with ‘Scamander, or ‘Grindelwald’? ” - good news : your friend and mine Mr Impact and his tame DJ PhantastiK Beatz (partial copyright Carlos) were up in this hizzouse', givin’ away freeness at this event. And any deafness caused by manic screaming fans from Brazil constitutes a plausible risk.

“Yoyoyo… who’s gonna come at me with something that rhymes with ‘Scamander, or ‘Grindelwald’?” - good news : your friend and mine Mr Impact and his tame DJ PhantastiK Beatz (partial copyright Carlos) were up in this hizzouse', givin’ away freeness at this event. And any deafness caused by manic screaming fans from Brazil constitutes a plausible risk.

That stage is a LONG way away. And those security guys are tall. And the people in the SECOND pen between me and the stage are no doubt going to want to photograph the stage with their high-held mobile phones, too.

That stage is a LONG way away. And those security guys are tall. And the people in the SECOND pen between me and the stage are no doubt going to want to photograph the stage with their high-held mobile phones, too.

With minutes to go, and to the astonishment of the person behind me, I shifted from a front row spot to a roaming third-row spot, and it paid off immediately : our pen faced side-on to a small interview stage, and first to be interviewed on it is the man who defeated a larger version of the same animal Cate Blanchett slew for her top at    the ‘Oceans 8’ premiere    earlier this year : Ezra Miller!!

With minutes to go, and to the astonishment of the person behind me, I shifted from a front row spot to a roaming third-row spot, and it paid off immediately : our pen faced side-on to a small interview stage, and first to be interviewed on it is the man who defeated a larger version of the same animal Cate Blanchett slew for her top at the ‘Oceans 8’ premiere earlier this year : Ezra Miller!!

“I want you to know that this comes from me to you… and it’s pure and special and true. But it’s not love, my friend, it’s something altogether different. Treasure it always”  - I’m not sure what’s going on here, but I’m glad my camera’s sensor and most of an 80-200mm lens are between me and what’s going on.

“I want you to know that this comes from me to you… and it’s pure and special and true. But it’s not love, my friend, it’s something altogether different. Treasure it always” - I’m not sure what’s going on here, but I’m glad my camera’s sensor and most of an 80-200mm lens are between me and what’s going on.

“You appear to have melted into a puddle. Yeah… that’s more or less what I was going for”

“You appear to have melted into a puddle. Yeah… that’s more or less what I was going for”

“I appreciate the hug, but I’m not really that influential where future casting decisions are made…. by which I mean, I’m right there at the Big Table : keep hugging!!”  - Callum Turner plays Newt Scamander’s brother in the movie.

“I appreciate the hug, but I’m not really that influential where future casting decisions are made…. by which I mean, I’m right there at the Big Table : keep hugging!!” - Callum Turner plays Newt Scamander’s brother in the movie.

“I wanna make sure the trademark for    Fantastic Beats    is in my hands by day’s end. I have an idea for a range of premium Speakers”  It’s JK Rowling! She’s the writer of all the Harry Potter books (including the    6th    and    8th    which I attended), the co(?)-writer of the theatre production of    Harry Potter and the Cursed Child   , and also creator/screenwriter of the    Fantastic Beasts    Series of movies. She’s rich…. I’m guessing.

“I wanna make sure the trademark for Fantastic Beats is in my hands by day’s end. I have an idea for a range of premium Speakers”
It’s JK Rowling! She’s the writer of all the Harry Potter books (including the 6th and 8th which I attended), the co(?)-writer of the theatre production of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, and also creator/screenwriter of the Fantastic Beasts Series of movies. She’s rich…. I’m guessing.

In good news, I’d say JK Rowling clearly thinks my Hufflepuff fanfiction shows literary promise.

In good news, I’d say JK Rowling clearly thinks my Hufflepuff fanfiction shows literary promise.

“Anyway, if I don’t see you, my lawyers will!!”

“Anyway, if I don’t see you, my lawyers will!!”

It’s Eddie Redmayne!! Sure, he’s won an Oscar for portraying Professor Stephen Hawking in    “The Theory of Everything”   , but he’s surely better known for his delivery of  “   I CREATE LIFE!!!!!!    <whisphers> … and I destroy it”  in Jupiter Ascending?

It’s Eddie Redmayne!! Sure, he’s won an Oscar for portraying Professor Stephen Hawking in “The Theory of Everything”, but he’s surely better known for his delivery of I CREATE LIFE!!!!!! <whisphers> … and I destroy it” in Jupiter Ascending?

“Don’t call me Albus. I’m a professor and first names aren’t for you”  - it’s Jude Law! He plays the young(er) Professor Dumbledore in this movie.

“Don’t call me Albus. I’m a professor and first names aren’t for you” - it’s Jude Law! He plays the young(er) Professor Dumbledore in this movie.

“I notice you’re not wearing the knitted beanie with the Pom-pom on top”  Jude Law’s hat doesn’t sort you into a house, but it can make you look cooler. And my beanie is far too heat-generating for mere single-digit London temperatures.

“I notice you’re not wearing the knitted beanie with the Pom-pom on top” Jude Law’s hat doesn’t sort you into a house, but it can make you look cooler. And my beanie is far too heat-generating for mere single-digit London temperatures.

“I loved you in that thing you were in” ”I’m still wearing the hat right now, bro….”

“I loved you in that thing you were in”
”I’m still wearing the hat right now, bro….”

“Ideally, one of us should punch or kiss the other on the carpet and in front of the cameras… you know, generate some controversy for the film that’ll drive even more ticket sales.” ”But we gotta make it look plausible, though….” ”Well, the good news is we’re both actors.”

“Ideally, one of us should punch or kiss the other on the carpet and in front of the cameras… you know, generate some controversy for the film that’ll drive even more ticket sales.”
”But we gotta make it look plausible, though….”
”Well, the good news is we’re both actors.”

It’s true. That stage is VERY distant. And I’m about to have my first attempt at photographing somebody on it.

It’s true. That stage is VERY distant. And I’m about to have my first attempt at photographing somebody on it.

"I just want to stress again : this is not part of the DC Cinematic Universe. You can safely see this film"


"I just want to stress again : this is not part of the DC Cinematic Universe. You can safely see this film"

"If I close my eyes, all the screaming people disappear. Why didn’t anyone tell me??”  In news closer to where I’m standing, it’s Zoe Kravitz! She was in, among other things, the awesome Mad Max Fury Road.

"If I close my eyes, all the screaming people disappear. Why didn’t anyone tell me??”
In news closer to where I’m standing, it’s Zoe Kravitz! She was in, among other things, the awesome Mad Max Fury Road.

“You know that thing that happens when you really want to say something to somebody standing right in front of you at a huge event? Well, that’s happening right now….” ”… and are you going to finish that sentence?” ”I might not…”

“You know that thing that happens when you really want to say something to somebody standing right in front of you at a huge event? Well, that’s happening right now….”
”… and are you going to finish that sentence?”
”I might not…”

Sadly this is as good a shot of Thea Lamb as I was able to get : she faced away from me/us while on stage, and kept a profile angle upon leaving the stage before disappearing into the throng on the blue carpet. She plays Young Leta in the movie.

Sadly this is as good a shot of Thea Lamb as I was able to get : she faced away from me/us while on stage, and kept a profile angle upon leaving the stage before disappearing into the throng on the blue carpet. She plays Young Leta in the movie.

“And so I said    “Niffler? But I hardly even know her ! ”    Oh, how we laughed….” ”Well… you laughed. We all looked at you like you were odd.”

“And so I said “Niffler? But I hardly even know her ! ” Oh, how we laughed….”
”Well… you laughed. We all looked at you like you were odd.”

“You fought your way past dozens and dozens of screaming Harry Potter fan just to get me to autograph your Jupiter Ascending poster? You’re so brave that, inspired by that bravery, I’m going to refuse. What do you say to that?”

“You fought your way past dozens and dozens of screaming Harry Potter fan just to get me to autograph your Jupiter Ascending poster? You’re so brave that, inspired by that bravery, I’m going to refuse. What do you say to that?”

“Good movie. I wasn’t in it, but happy to sign it.”

“Good movie. I wasn’t in it, but happy to sign it.”

I’m not sure who this is, but (a) she was interviewed, and (b) the cast listing for this premiere runs DEEEEEP.

I’m not sure who this is, but (a) she was interviewed, and (b) the cast listing for this premiere runs DEEEEEP.

“Have you checked imdb, or the movie’s cast and crew listing? Everyone on the carpet right now barely covers the number of digital effects artists on this film”  - this is potentially Victoria Yeates, who is in this movie as the enigmatically/unhelpfully named “Bunty”.

“Have you checked imdb, or the movie’s cast and crew listing? Everyone on the carpet right now barely covers the number of digital effects artists on this film” - this is potentially Victoria Yeates, who is in this movie as the enigmatically/unhelpfully named “Bunty”.

“Was the hat in the background once a fantastic beast? Or even a fairly adequate one? I’m not sure how to feel about it, but now i can’t look at it”

“Was the hat in the background once a fantastic beast? Or even a fairly adequate one? I’m not sure how to feel about it, but now i can’t look at it”

Not sure who this is, but between the screaming Brazilian fans, the screaming Chinese fans, and the screaming French fans, somebody screamed when he passed by.

Not sure who this is, but between the screaming Brazilian fans, the screaming Chinese fans, and the screaming French fans, somebody screamed when he passed by.

“OMG It’s Johnny Depp!!!!! … no, not that guy in the prior photo, but he’s coming! HE’S COMING!!!” -  this is Alison Sudol, who plays Queenie Goldstein in this (   and the prior   ) movie.

“OMG It’s Johnny Depp!!!!! … no, not that guy in the prior photo, but he’s coming! HE’S COMING!!!” - this is Alison Sudol, who plays Queenie Goldstein in this (and the prior) movie.

“Johnny!! Depp!! I Swear he’s coming!!!”

“Johnny!! Depp!! I Swear he’s coming!!!”

"I need a new assistant. She's more cheerful than I am, and I'm CHEERFUL ENOUGH"

"I need a new assistant. She's more cheerful than I am, and I'm CHEERFUL ENOUGH"

“And you’re absolutely certain shoulder pads are back? Because I was out and about during London Fashion Week and I honestly didn’t see them”  - in any event, Poppy Corby-Tuech is in this film.

“And you’re absolutely certain shoulder pads are back? Because I was out and about during London Fashion Week and I honestly didn’t see them” - in any event, Poppy Corby-Tuech is in this film.

This is not Johnny Depp, this is director Terry Gilliam. Who did not direct this movie, but did direct ‘Don Quixote’ which had a premiere at BFI London Film Festival last month. I didn’t photograph him at that premiere, but I did photograph him at the premiere of    Widows,    which he ALSO didn’t direct. It’s not complicated… just convoluted.

This is not Johnny Depp, this is director Terry Gilliam. Who did not direct this movie, but did direct ‘Don Quixote’ which had a premiere at BFI London Film Festival last month. I didn’t photograph him at that premiere, but I did photograph him at the premiere of Widows, which he ALSO didn’t direct. It’s not complicated… just convoluted.

“Hello, screaming fans. And hello NON-screaming fans standing next to screaming fans.”

“Hello, screaming fans. And hello NON-screaming fans standing next to screaming fans.”

“Keep hugging me, man. I’m six down, three to go!”  It’s David Yates! He directed the last four Harry Potter movies, the first two Fantastic Beasts movies, AND has been confirmed as director of the NEXT three Fantastic Beasts movies.

“Keep hugging me, man. I’m six down, three to go!” It’s David Yates! He directed the last four Harry Potter movies, the first two Fantastic Beasts movies, AND has been confirmed as director of the NEXT three Fantastic Beasts movies.

"I'll pose while you do render a charcoal live sketch of me, sure..."

"I'll pose while you do render a charcoal live sketch of me, sure..."

Apparently Jamie Campbell-Bower’s character in the movie constitutes a spoiler, so I’m just going to wildly theorise that he plays Luke Skywalker.

Apparently Jamie Campbell-Bower’s character in the movie constitutes a spoiler, so I’m just going to wildly theorise that he plays Luke Skywalker.

““From here, everyone from about half the carpet length onwards all look like tiny ants…” ”Cinema ticket buying ants?” ”I certainly hope so!”

““From here, everyone from about half the carpet length onwards all look like tiny ants…”
”Cinema ticket buying ants?”
”I certainly hope so!”

"You do realise the crowds you're trying to block are on the OTHER side of me?"   A thousand mobile phones go up in one hand, and pieces of paper to be signed in the other - it’s Johnny Depp!

"You do realise the crowds you're trying to block are on the OTHER side of me?"
A thousand mobile phones go up in one hand, and pieces of paper to be signed in the other - it’s Johnny Depp!

“I’m pretty sure Ms Rowling said you weren’t allowed to endorse fanfiction anymore, Johnny” ”I’ll endorse it if I like it, Trevor”

“I’m pretty sure Ms Rowling said you weren’t allowed to endorse fanfiction anymore, Johnny”
”I’ll endorse it if I like it, Trevor”

“I’m not sure I like this one, Trevor. Can you take a look at it and make the appropriate changes by tomorrow?” ”I’m a security guy, Johnny. I don’t do screenplays”

“I’m not sure I like this one, Trevor. Can you take a look at it and make the appropriate changes by tomorrow?”
”I’m a security guy, Johnny. I don’t do screenplays”

“I’m almost afraid to ask my next guest up here any question at all…. can you just keep screaming crazily for another three or four minutes?”

“I’m almost afraid to ask my next guest up here any question at all…. can you just keep screaming crazily for another three or four minutes?”

Confusion reins, and Katherine Waterston, who plays Tina Goldstein in the movie, has arrived. The look of confusion on the face of the dude on the right is similar, but I don’t know who he is.

Confusion reins, and Katherine Waterston, who plays Tina Goldstein in the movie, has arrived. The look of confusion on the face of the dude on the right is similar, but I don’t know who he is.

“Alright, I’ll sign your stuff. But I should warn you, I’m a natural lefthander so this could get messy”

“Alright, I’ll sign your stuff. But I should warn you, I’m a natural lefthander so this could get messy”

“Sorry about the moustache I drew on you…. but if it’s any consolation it does suit you!”

“Sorry about the moustache I drew on you…. but if it’s any consolation it does suit you!”

“She’s right. It does suit you, ma’am”

“She’s right. It does suit you, ma’am”

“This man! This… this… MAN, man!!!” ”…..” ”I’m sorry, I forgot the question”  It’s Dan Fogler - the only main person I missed on stage and interviewing and (possibly) signing. Primarily because he’s fairly short. And by sheer coincidence, he’s standing on the part of the stage closest to tall people in the foreground blocking shots.

“This man! This… this… MAN, man!!!”
”…..”
”I’m sorry, I forgot the question”
It’s Dan Fogler - the only main person I missed on stage and interviewing and (possibly) signing. Primarily because he’s fairly short. And by sheer coincidence, he’s standing on the part of the stage closest to tall people in the foreground blocking shots.

“OMG - you guys are in the Burger King!!! I would totally rather join you instead of going to that lame afterparty they’re going to force me to go to and drink expensive champagne at”

“OMG - you guys are in the Burger King!!! I would totally rather join you instead of going to that lame afterparty they’re going to force me to go to and drink expensive champagne at”

So…. I’m guessing they’re not staying to watch the movie?

So…. I’m guessing they’re not staying to watch the movie?

And so… that was that. it was big, it was hard to photograph and given all the weird colour issues I might sit down and do a Redcarpet Monochrome Journal before too long!

Until…..next time?

“Is it a wand? Is it a mobile telephone? either way, it’s totally magic.”

“Is it a wand? Is it a mobile telephone? either way, it’s totally magic.”

If you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or twitter at berndt2_photo. As you can see by me putting such invitations at the bottom of a fifty photo journal, I’m keeping it an exclusive club for cool people only.

More at : my archive of movie premieres. It’s not quite at 500 premieres yet, but it is close to 600 events of all kinds.