17 Oct - The BFI LFF 'Outlaw King' Premiere

October 17th, 2018.

After yesterday’s bullshit ‘Suspiria’ Premiere, which was so awful I’m still picking errant swearwords off my keyboard, it was a sweet relief to have just a regular, mildly disappointing premiere today. Given the amount of sleep I’m currently on, that’s a level of disappoitment I’m more than comfortable with.

Here’s how it went down:

I’m back on the red carpet, the number of autograph dealers around me was slightly less than yesterday, and pleasingly I’m not feeling the same sense of musical dread coming from the speakers as the day before. It’s raining, though. There is that.

I’m back on the red carpet, the number of autograph dealers around me was slightly less than yesterday, and pleasingly I’m not feeling the same sense of musical dread coming from the speakers as the day before. It’s raining, though. There is that.

“Who is this? Why are you calling me? And why do you keep asking why I’m calling you in a voice that sounds just like mine?? ANSWER ME!! AND STOP SHOUTING AT ME!!”

“Who is this? Why are you calling me? And why do you keep asking why I’m calling you in a voice that sounds just like mine?? ANSWER ME!! AND STOP SHOUTING AT ME!!”

The two German ladies to my left were excited about the prospect of meeting Chris Pine and Aaron Taylor-Johnson. However I really REALLY wanted to photograph actress Florence Pugh, a task which would enable me to bring to a close a years-long outstanding item. I’d missed her on Sunday when she was at a premiere I was unable to attend because… oh, who cares.

The two German ladies to my left were excited about the prospect of meeting Chris Pine and Aaron Taylor-Johnson. However I really REALLY wanted to photograph actress Florence Pugh, a task which would enable me to bring to a close a years-long outstanding item. I’d missed her on Sunday when she was at a premiere I was unable to attend because… oh, who cares.

A quick shot of The List for this event reveals that Florence Pugh is not scheduled to attend, even though she’s one of only four people (and the only woman) on the poster. Damnit… why do German women seem to always get what they want?

A quick shot of The List for this event reveals that Florence Pugh is not scheduled to attend, even though she’s one of only four people (and the only woman) on the poster. Damnit… why do German women seem to always get what they want?

“Well… just tell me if my desperation starts to look in any way uncool”

“Well… just tell me if my desperation starts to look in any way uncool”

“It’s not so much a case of ‘naughty’ or ‘nice’ with regard to the people in that public pen. They’re closer to getting a summons from a war crime tribunal in the Haague than anything from the North Pole”  - i’m not sure who this is, but from a quick glance at imdb.com I’m going to guess James Cosmo, who was in Braveheart, Highlander, Troy.. and this movie. If it’s him.

“It’s not so much a case of ‘naughty’ or ‘nice’ with regard to the people in that public pen. They’re closer to getting a summons from a war crime tribunal in the Haague than anything from the North Pole” - i’m not sure who this is, but from a quick glance at imdb.com I’m going to guess James Cosmo, who was in Braveheart, Highlander, Troy.. and this movie. If it’s him.

“Who are you? And do you know Chris Pine? And do you have his phone number, home address and hotel room for his stay in London? I’m asking…. for a friend” ”And I’m that friend”

“Who are you? And do you know Chris Pine? And do you have his phone number, home address and hotel room for his stay in London? I’m asking…. for a friend”
”And I’m that friend”

“The car’s not stopping! What do we do?” ”Well, it’s either a former Avenger or a Starfleet captain…. what are our options?” ”Get a cheaper director and hope they screw up the franchise?”

“The car’s not stopping! What do we do?”
”Well, it’s either a former Avenger or a Starfleet captain…. what are our options?”
”Get a cheaper director and hope they screw up the franchise?”

“This is how they do high-fives in Hollywood now, I’m told”.  Tony Curran has a long and storied imdb entry which includes an Underworld film, the TV Series ‘24’, six episodes of something called ‘Crazyhead’ and something called ‘two-headed rat bastards’.

“This is how they do high-fives in Hollywood now, I’m told”. Tony Curran has a long and storied imdb entry which includes an Underworld film, the TV Series ‘24’, six episodes of something called ‘Crazyhead’ and something called ‘two-headed rat bastards’.

“No…. I’m still unsteady on fist-bumps. Let’s figure out the Hollywood low-five first, yeah?”

“No…. I’m still unsteady on fist-bumps. Let’s figure out the Hollywood low-five first, yeah?”

“For the record, THIS is how you cast a young Santa Claus”  - David Mackenzie has directed such things as ‘Hell or High Water’… and the relatively obscure (but certainly interesting)    ‘Perfect Sense’    - a premiere where I gave up photographing Milla Jovovich over Eva Green.

“For the record, THIS is how you cast a young Santa Claus” - David Mackenzie has directed such things as ‘Hell or High Water’… and the relatively obscure (but certainly interesting) ‘Perfect Sense’ - a premiere where I gave up photographing Milla Jovovich over Eva Green.

“The jacket isn’t fur, it’s actually a kind of soy. Yes, it’s true, you can skin soybeans. It’s excruciating for the soy, but it’s actually technically vegan ”. Excitingly, I managed to learn via imdb.com that this is Gillian Berrie, one of this film’s eight (8) producers.

“The jacket isn’t fur, it’s actually a kind of soy. Yes, it’s true, you can skin soybeans. It’s excruciating for the soy, but it’s actually technically vegan”. Excitingly, I managed to learn via imdb.com that this is Gillian Berrie, one of this film’s eight (8) producers.

Of the movie’s six male producers, I’m going with this being Danny McGrath. Though I’m basing this on the yellow tie, mainly.

Of the movie’s six male producers, I’m going with this being Danny McGrath. Though I’m basing this on the yellow tie, mainly.

“Is my name Billy? Timmy? Why are you asking these questions?”  I don’t know who this is, but he was induced to sign autographs. And the dealers aren’t entirely indiscriminate.

“Is my name Billy? Timmy? Why are you asking these questions?” I don’t know who this is, but he was induced to sign autographs. And the dealers aren’t entirely indiscriminate.

“I’m wearing a vest, and you’re not. That means I don’t even need to pull rank to win this argument”  - it’s Chris Pine! He’s best known for being Captain Kirk in the JJ-Abramsverse Star Trek movies (ie. the ones in    2009   ,    2013    and    2016   )

“I’m wearing a vest, and you’re not. That means I don’t even need to pull rank to win this argument” - it’s Chris Pine! He’s best known for being Captain Kirk in the JJ-Abramsverse Star Trek movies (ie. the ones in 2009, 2013 and 2016)

I’m kind of equally mesmerised by Chris Pine’s piercing blue eyes as I am by that blurry finger seemingly gently touching the skin of the corner of his eye….

I’m kind of equally mesmerised by Chris Pine’s piercing blue eyes as I am by that blurry finger seemingly gently touching the skin of the corner of his eye….

“And so he stuck out his finger and he gently touched me. I don’t know what to make of it. Is it legal? Did it mean something? How can I answer questions about this movie until MY questions on this are answered?”

“And so he stuck out his finger and he gently touched me. I don’t know what to make of it. Is it legal? Did it mean something? How can I answer questions about this movie until MY questions on this are answered?”

“I was only in one of those movies, you know. And you can kind of see that as an implied spoiler…. for a movie made in 2015 ”. Aaron Taylor Johnson’s only Avengers outing was in    Age of Ultron   …. though his character still exists (played by another actor) in the X-Men films.

“I was only in one of those movies, you know. And you can kind of see that as an implied spoiler…. for a movie made in 2015”. Aaron Taylor Johnson’s only Avengers outing was in Age of Ultron…. though his character still exists (played by another actor) in the X-Men films.

“Nono… don’t worry. I’ll watch the full clip. I have plenty of time”  - along with playing Kick-Ass in the Kick-Ass films and John Lennon in the BFI LFF premiereing    “Nowhere Boy”    back in 2009, he’s married to director Sam Taylor Johnson who (among other things) directed the first    “Fifty Shades of Grey”    movie.

“Nono… don’t worry. I’ll watch the full clip. I have plenty of time” - along with playing Kick-Ass in the Kick-Ass films and John Lennon in the BFI LFF premiereing “Nowhere Boy” back in 2009, he’s married to director Sam Taylor Johnson who (among other things) directed the first “Fifty Shades of Grey” movie.

“Low-five me, Bruv!” ”That’s not how they do it in Hollywood, Babe” -  I have no idea who this is

“Low-five me, Bruv!”
”That’s not how they do it in Hollywood, Babe” -
I have no idea who this is

“Side-five me, Bruv!” ”That’s not how they do it in Hollywood either, Babe”  - no idea who this is either. (edited to add : Jamie Pigott, actor… aka  “@jampig1”  on twitter)

“Side-five me, Bruv!”
”That’s not how they do it in Hollywood either, Babe”
- no idea who this is either.
(edited to add : Jamie Pigott, actor… aka “@jampig1” on twitter)

“OMG i’ve got him in front of the 50% Sale sign!! Take a photo already!!!”  - those signs are certainly the unintentional highlight of this festival.

“OMG i’ve got him in front of the 50% Sale sign!! Take a photo already!!!” - those signs are certainly the unintentional highlight of this festival.

“Aaron Taylor Johnson isn’t THAT good-looking, Liz….” ”….” ”You’re on a date with ME, Liz…” ”…..” ”Well, what am I supposed to do, then??”

“Aaron Taylor Johnson isn’t THAT good-looking, Liz….”
”….”
”You’re on a date with ME, Liz…”
”…..”
”Well, what am I supposed to do, then??”

So, that was that. Eight days down, Four days to go…. and maybe I’ll get some sleep before then, who know? For now it’s +1 for the Archive of Premieres, links to facebook here and twitter here, and a comfortable bed less than twenty paces from where I’m sitting.

Until next time!

…. and a moment’s silence for the missing Florence Pugh. Where wert thou, Lady Macbeth?

…. and a moment’s silence for the missing Florence Pugh. Where wert thou, Lady Macbeth?