25 Nov - The 'Ralph Breaks the Internet' UK Premiere

November 25th, 2018.

Because it had been rumoured as a 10am start, I made it into London particularly early on Sunday to get a good spot, take some photos and maybe head home to have a free afternoon. But when I got to Curzon Mayfair I quickly learned that the premiere was a 4PM start, and with a wristband #26 I kind of had to stay in town to defend that spot.

Here’s how it went down:

They closed the road, they put up a mural, and I think the embassy across the road even reduced the number of armed guards they had on duty. Perhaps they doubled the number of hidden snipers, though. It’s a Disney premiere, after all.

They closed the road, they put up a mural, and I think the embassy across the road even reduced the number of armed guards they had on duty. Perhaps they doubled the number of hidden snipers, though. It’s a Disney premiere, after all.

“This gear’s kinda heavy. Is miniaturisation going to happen any time soon?”

“This gear’s kinda heavy. Is miniaturisation going to happen any time soon?”

“By the way, have you seen any of these people? The guys at Disney really wants them back in case this one goes well….”  - sadly, Australia’s own Hamish Blake, who plays the voice of ‘Pyro’' in the movie, did not attend.

“By the way, have you seen any of these people? The guys at Disney really wants them back in case this one goes well….” - sadly, Australia’s own Hamish Blake, who plays the voice of ‘Pyro’' in the movie, did not attend.

“I’m sensing…. something. Something I’ve not sensed since….”

“I’m sensing…. something. Something I’ve not sensed since….”

“First we train it to smell out threats, and then we flood the pens with ravenous autograph dealers. I mean…. do we really need the dog at this stage?”

“First we train it to smell out threats, and then we flood the pens with ravenous autograph dealers. I mean…. do we really need the dog at this stage?”

“How do you direct an animated movie with two directors in charge? Well, for one thing both of us gets to claim credit for all the good stuff and blame the other for all the bad decisions. It’s a great way to keep the studio guessing. We’re hoping to take on more directors in future projects”  Rich Moore is one of two directors of this film.

“How do you direct an animated movie with two directors in charge? Well, for one thing both of us gets to claim credit for all the good stuff and blame the other for all the bad decisions. It’s a great way to keep the studio guessing. We’re hoping to take on more directors in future projects” Rich Moore is one of two directors of this film.

“He’s absolutely right about what he said just then. Also completely and ridiculously wrong. See how effective this is?”  - Phil Johnston is this movie’s other director. He and Rich Moore also wrote the story)

“He’s absolutely right about what he said just then. Also completely and ridiculously wrong. See how effective this is?” - Phil Johnston is this movie’s other director. He and Rich Moore also wrote the story)

Sarah Silverman (‘s voice) plays the voice of lead character Vanellope in the movie. Or perhaps the lady behind her ,mirroring her expression, is an insanely talented ventriloquist.

Sarah Silverman (‘s voice) plays the voice of lead character Vanellope in the movie. Or perhaps the lady behind her ,mirroring her expression, is an insanely talented ventriloquist.

“I’m not taking any more questions on how my character’s neck can support the weight of a head that size. Disney has biologists who have written articles on it… and even if I made that up they’ve probably got geneticists working on it for the inevitable live-action remake of this film”

“I’m not taking any more questions on how my character’s neck can support the weight of a head that size. Disney has biologists who have written articles on it… and even if I made that up they’ve probably got geneticists working on it for the inevitable live-action remake of this film”

“With all due respect to you and your implausible hairstyle, I refuse to believe you’re my biggest fan, Sir. My family are very proud of my work”

“With all due respect to you and your implausible hairstyle, I refuse to believe you’re my biggest fan, Sir. My family are very proud of my work”

“Oh, I’m not signing that. Not because I wasn’t in it, because I was; and not because I’m not proud of it, because I am; but I just don’t like that pen you’re forcing me to use”  John C Reilly plays the titular Ralph who breaks the internet and causes millennial douchebags who hang around my local Starbucks to have to order coffee like everyone else rather than stand in the queue just surfing the free wifi. I hope it stays broken, man….

“Oh, I’m not signing that. Not because I wasn’t in it, because I was; and not because I’m not proud of it, because I am; but I just don’t like that pen you’re forcing me to use”
John C Reilly plays the titular Ralph who breaks the internet and causes millennial douchebags who hang around my local Starbucks to have to order coffee like everyone else rather than stand in the queue just surfing the free wifi. I hope it stays broken, man….

If John C Reilly judges you buy the weave of your suit jacket and the colour of your satin tie; and like me you’re wearing a white thinsulate top under a black leather jacket….. you’d better be ready for what happens next.

If John C Reilly judges you buy the weave of your suit jacket and the colour of your satin tie; and like me you’re wearing a white thinsulate top under a black leather jacket….. you’d better be ready for what happens next.

John C Reilly moves on, is what John C Reilly does. (I last photographed him last month at the    “Stan & Ollie” premiere    and prior to that    “Kong : Skull Island”   .

John C Reilly moves on, is what John C Reilly does. (I last photographed him last month at the “Stan & Ollie” premiere and prior to that “Kong : Skull Island”.

Photo concept : copyright    CarlosVieites   .

Photo concept : copyright CarlosVieites.

All Human Interactions and, probably, in the future concepts of Love : copyright Disney.

All Human Interactions and, probably, in the future concepts of Love : copyright Disney.

“Is the man in the hat with the moustache an above-average specimen of human malehood? Umm… I don’t know for sure, but I suppose I could take a guess….”

“Is the man in the hat with the moustache an above-average specimen of human malehood? Umm… I don’t know for sure, but I suppose I could take a guess….”

“… but there’s a guy with a website over here, wearing a fetching RockJock <tm> beanie….”.  The warmth of that beanie is greatly exaggerated, but it is always nice to see Gal Gadot. I’ve photographed her twice before : as a surprise guest at    “The Last Witch Hunter”,    and at    “Batman v Superman : Dawn of Justice”   .

“… but there’s a guy with a website over here, wearing a fetching RockJock <tm> beanie….”. The warmth of that beanie is greatly exaggerated, but it is always nice to see Gal Gadot. I’ve photographed her twice before : as a surprise guest at “The Last Witch Hunter”, and at “Batman v Superman : Dawn of Justice”.

“… those guys over there want to photograph you for money, as opposed to the people in the public pen, the loud majority of whom want your autograph…. also for money. But as you know Disney is here to promote their movie… for money. So it’s a complex financial symbiosis that’s going on here tonight.” ”….” ”… and the photographers are over there.”

“… those guys over there want to photograph you for money, as opposed to the people in the public pen, the loud majority of whom want your autograph…. also for money. But as you know Disney is here to promote their movie… for money. So it’s a complex financial symbiosis that’s going on here tonight.”
”….”
”… and the photographers are over there.”

“It is not pronounced Gadoh. And it’s not Gah-DOTT either. The ‘T’ at the end is a lighter, softer T. I don’t know why I’m telling you this as I don’t really want you to shout out my name to me correctly or incorrectly, ever or in the future, but there you go”.  As somebody who owns a name I deliberately don’t even introduce myself correctly as, my issues are broader than Gal Gadot’s, but I do sympathise.

“It is not pronounced Gadoh. And it’s not Gah-DOTT either. The ‘T’ at the end is a lighter, softer T. I don’t know why I’m telling you this as I don’t really want you to shout out my name to me correctly or incorrectly, ever or in the future, but there you go”.
As somebody who owns a name I deliberately don’t even introduce myself correctly as, my issues are broader than Gal Gadot’s, but I do sympathise.

“See, if you look at his arms, they’re way beyond biologically implausible. This poor man’s spine, nor his heart, could ever support such limbs. He must live in constant pain…”

“See, if you look at his arms, they’re way beyond biologically implausible. This poor man’s spine, nor his heart, could ever support such limbs. He must live in constant pain…”

“Okay, yes, you pronounced “Wonder Woman” correctly. That’s a start.”  Whether you’re legally allowed to call her that is another matter, but if it’s a Disney premiere and Disney own Marvel and you shout out a DC Comics character, I admire your moxie.

“Okay, yes, you pronounced “Wonder Woman” correctly. That’s a start.” Whether you’re legally allowed to call her that is another matter, but if it’s a Disney premiere and Disney own Marvel and you shout out a DC Comics character, I admire your moxie.

The public pen at this premiere was only about two-deep, but when Gal Gadot signed in my area it suddenly became four-deep and breathing (even outside the actress’ undeniable beauty) became quite difficult. Did I score a much-valued autograph? Perhaps.

The public pen at this premiere was only about two-deep, but when Gal Gadot signed in my area it suddenly became four-deep and breathing (even outside the actress’ undeniable beauty) became quite difficult. Did I score a much-valued autograph? Perhaps.

I’ve mainly put this photo of John C Reilly into this journal so that nobody can point out that I’ve got more photos of Gal Gadot in this journal than either of the two lead stars combined. This is now no longer mathematically the case.

I’ve mainly put this photo of John C Reilly into this journal so that nobody can point out that I’ve got more photos of Gal Gadot in this journal than either of the two lead stars combined. This is now no longer mathematically the case.

but…. but…. how will facebook monetise all they know about me if the internet is broken? How will Russia know what I had for breakfast? How will North Korea be able to leverage all my profiled biases for blackmail? And how will I know how much other people also hate the Star Wars Sequel trilogy? It can’t be allowed to happen!!

but…. but…. how will facebook monetise all they know about me if the internet is broken? How will Russia know what I had for breakfast? How will North Korea be able to leverage all my profiled biases for blackmail? And how will I know how much other people also hate the Star Wars Sequel trilogy? It can’t be allowed to happen!!

And so… that was a premiere. The first of four in FOUR consecutive days that I’m attempting to get myself to. Tomorrow will be the most difficult, Tuesday likely the most disappointing, and Wednesday the riskiest. And I for one, can’t wait ….. til Thursday!

Until next time!

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Archive of Premieres : here
Last three premieres : Surviving Christmas with the Relatives, Fantastic Beasts the Crimes of Grindelwald, Bohemian Rhapsody.