October 16th, 2018.
Trigger warning : there’s a rant at the end of this journal. But before, and during , and somewhat after that, there was also an event on. I already forget what the movie it was for was called because I don’t want to remember. So here’s what I’m reluctant to call a ‘premiere’ because ‘a zoo with a soundtrack to sharpen scythes and plot vengeance by’ is more accurate…. went down:
Meanwhile… Holy sh1t : there’s a video of Def Leppard performing ‘Hysteria’ with TAYLOR SWIFT, guys!!
(this premiere finally/just got better about three hours after it ended)
Oh. Right. I have worthless premiere duties to attend to...
And so.. that was that. Side-note : having a f**king awful time is almost always worse when the photos aren’t entirely awful and you realise that the problem comes from the fact that the 3 hour plus journey to the fractions-of-a-second destination(s) were where the problem was.
Firstly, f**k you BFI; and secondly F**k you to the Security staff you have on your red carpets. When they’re not too busy having trouble working out how number order works with wristbands…. or actively telling people where they absolutely can’t stand so that when you’re forced to leave your space it can immediately be occupied by someone now arbitrarily allowed…. or spending their time blocking photos facing AWAY from the crowd they’re meant to be monitoring… they’re actively allowing a bunch of f**king animal autograph dealers free rein in public pens, with or without wristbands, pushing and shoving people to get yet more sh*t signed.
And yeah, I realise I’m coming off as a whiny entitled a55hole, here. But the problem is several dozen other whiny AND AGGRESSIVE a55holes got everything they wanted from this event, just like they always do, while I didn’t. It’s much easier to suffer on a bad day (which this already was) when you’re not also seeing everyone around you behave like utter pricks, with no consequences, having a grand ol’ time.
As for the BFI? Far be it from me to tell them how to run an event, let alone a festival, but my point would be that it might be better to have NO public pens if you can’t at least work towards ensuring as good an experience as possible for those thinking it might be worth getting into one.
And why? because you’re being JUDGED. Not by me : I’m just some whiny entitled a55hole. But the stars at this premiere didn’t seem to have an awesome time either.
Oh, and specifically to this premiere, maybe don’t pump out an hour of f**king depressing soundtrack from the movie to provide a pall of f**king gloom to accompany an event, no matter how appropriate…??
… but more than that, and separately? Get your festival attendees in line. I’m sure most of them are great, but if Alfonso Cuaron is flying to Italy overnight between a premiere one afternoon and a screentalk the next day and has to reschedule because the flight’s delayed because a two-time oscar winner is flying F**KING RYANAIR; and if Hugh Jackman is stuck on a tarmac because he was filming til 2am or something; and if your premiere guests come late to their own premiere… then clearly the London Film Festival isn’t exactly the first priority for these people. And that’s totally fine, if you’re fine with that.
But I wouldn’t be fine with that.
And maybe I’m wrong about my interpretation of what I’ve seen. But what if I’m not? And what if my experience is not unique, and more important people than me already treat your event with disdain, or a lower priority? Then they might continue to do so based on events like this. Call it a rant or call it some helpful feedback, I don’t care. My website has no prestige to lose, while your festival (potentially) does.
Whatever…… do what you want and I’ll do what I want.
Until next time?
Erm… sure, why the f**k not. My Archive Of Premieres is big enough to easily hide sh1tty premieres in.