21 Oct - The BFI LFF 'Stan & Ollie' Closing Gala / World Premiere

October 21st, 2018.

Well… it’s finally over! I’ve fought, whined and erred my way though the BFI’s packed programme, ending the twelve days with a total of SEVENTEEN premieres covered (including this one). I missed one premiere because of an event rescheduling, and another because I stupidly walked away from something that looked like nothing… and I did that because the prior night there’d been something that looked like something that ended up being nothing.

And now, just before I get some sleep and post the all-important Red Carpet Monochrome journal, I’ve just got this one left. Here’s how it went down:

It’s Stan and Ollie ! Deep down, I feel I’m probably letting down a whole lot of Septagenarians and Octagenarians when I admit that I can’t really distinguish between Laurel & Hardy and Abbott & Costello. I’m more of a Marx Bros fan myself.

It’s Stan and Ollie ! Deep down, I feel I’m probably letting down a whole lot of Septagenarians and Octagenarians when I admit that I can’t really distinguish between Laurel & Hardy and Abbott & Costello. I’m more of a Marx Bros fan myself.

“You sure you’re getting the hang of the technology, bro?” ”If it was you doing this, we’d still be recording this podcast on gramophone discs and distributing them via parcels sent in the mail. I brought us into the 21st Century” ”You think Stan & Ollie would have ever used the internet? I wanna keep this legit!”

“You sure you’re getting the hang of the technology, bro?”
”If it was you doing this, we’d still be recording this podcast on gramophone discs and distributing them via parcels sent in the mail. I brought us into the 21st Century”
”You think Stan & Ollie would have ever used the internet? I wanna keep this legit!”

Here, back in the present day, things are better. Not only do Movies have sound, but we’ve more or less fought our way out of the “ turn the last book in the series into two movies ” era, past the  “we can turn anything into a cinematic universe”  era to  “these franchises will never end, and when they do we’ll reboot them” .

Here, back in the present day, things are better. Not only do Movies have sound, but we’ve more or less fought our way out of the “turn the last book in the series into two movies” era, past the “we can turn anything into a cinematic universe” era to “these franchises will never end, and when they do we’ll reboot them”.

“Remember how we were just teenagers when this thing started? It’s certainly aged us…. ” I’m not the same person now that I was 12 days ago, that’ for sure.

“Remember how we were just teenagers when this thing started? It’s certainly aged us….” I’m not the same person now that I was 12 days ago, that’ for sure.

“What’s yours got that mine doesn’t have?” ”The internet?” ”This has the internet. It’s right here, next to the coffee machine, the magic 8-ball attachment, and the harmonica add-on.” ”But I look prettier carrying my phone….”

“What’s yours got that mine doesn’t have?”
”The internet?”
”This has the internet. It’s right here, next to the coffee machine, the magic 8-ball attachment, and the harmonica add-on.”
”But I look prettier carrying my phone….”

I was going for a thing….

I was going for a thing….

…. but I’m not really sure

…. but I’m not really sure

… I succeeded.

… I succeeded.

“It was like that when I got here, and that’s all I’m saying.”  For only the second (third?) time this Film Festival, a premiere had a stage, and for the FIRST time people were interviewed FACING the audience. Well…. assuming the audience was in the park, not in the public pen.

“It was like that when I got here, and that’s all I’m saying.” For only the second (third?) time this Film Festival, a premiere had a stage, and for the FIRST time people were interviewed FACING the audience. Well…. assuming the audience was in the park, not in the public pen.

Rufus Jones’ imdb entry is staggeringly long… but because I’ve steadfastly refused to culturally acclimatise myself to UK Culture, I am familiar with next to none of it. He was the voice of ‘The Flying Scotsman’ in several episodes of Thomas The Tank Engine, though, which gives you more of an idea about me than about Rufus Jones, I suspect.

Rufus Jones’ imdb entry is staggeringly long… but because I’ve steadfastly refused to culturally acclimatise myself to UK Culture, I am familiar with next to none of it. He was the voice of ‘The Flying Scotsman’ in several episodes of Thomas The Tank Engine, though, which gives you more of an idea about me than about Rufus Jones, I suspect.

OMG : It’s a 1930s Pop Culture Reference!!!   You Gotta Clap if you Get it!!!

OMG : It’s a 1930s Pop Culture Reference!!! You Gotta Clap if you Get it!!!

“Check it out. That guy over there is wearing a bowler hat and a kilt…. quite frankly he looks ridiculous!”  - John C. Reilly plays Oliver Hardy in this movie.

“Check it out. That guy over there is wearing a bowler hat and a kilt…. quite frankly he looks ridiculous!” - John C. Reilly plays Oliver Hardy in this movie.

“Was that a gust of wind, or a physical gag that had them rolling in the aisles as little as seventy years ago? I’ll never tell”.  Steve Coogan is best known for being Alan Partridge across several TV Series and I believe even a movie. I’m not British, though, so for me he’s better known for roles in films like “What Maisie Knew” and “Philomena” - he’s very good in both.

“Was that a gust of wind, or a physical gag that had them rolling in the aisles as little as seventy years ago? I’ll never tell”. Steve Coogan is best known for being Alan Partridge across several TV Series and I believe even a movie. I’m not British, though, so for me he’s better known for roles in films like “What Maisie Knew” and “Philomena” - he’s very good in both.

“In unrelated news I have no idea what happened to the hat”  Steve Coogan plays Stan Laurel in this movie.

“In unrelated news I have no idea what happened to the hat”
Steve Coogan plays Stan Laurel in this movie.

“Ten bucks says he’s wearing a backwards baseball cap by the end of the evening, and saying it’s what his character would have wanted….” ”You’re on”

“Ten bucks says he’s wearing a backwards baseball cap by the end of the evening, and saying it’s what his character would have wanted….”
”You’re on”

“Are you touching me? Are you about to touch me? Are you sure you should be doing that? Are you sure it’s safe to hesitate? How do you know I’m not reaching for my handgun right now? How do you know I don’t have psychic powers? Wait… is that even your hand or is it somebody else’s? ”  Jon S. Baird is this film’s director, and I believe I last photographed him at the    premiere of the movie “Filth”.

“Are you touching me? Are you about to touch me? Are you sure you should be doing that? Are you sure it’s safe to hesitate? How do you know I’m not reaching for my handgun right now? How do you know I don’t have psychic powers? Wait… is that even your hand or is it somebody else’s? ” Jon S. Baird is this film’s director, and I believe I last photographed him at the premiere of the movie “Filth”.

Nina Arianda and I share a moment (A moment I don’t really appreciate having happened until I’m back home, about to see what movies she’s been in. Apparently she was in Woody Allen’s ‘Midnight in Paris’,    Florence Foster Jenkins   , and one of my most viewed premiere journals ever (though she didn’t attend) - the one for    ‘The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby : Them’

Nina Arianda and I share a moment (A moment I don’t really appreciate having happened until I’m back home, about to see what movies she’s been in. Apparently she was in Woody Allen’s ‘Midnight in Paris’, Florence Foster Jenkins, and one of my most viewed premiere journals ever (though she didn’t attend) - the one for ‘The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby : Them’

Gotta say, I’m kinda captivated by the “steely determined imminent evil” look on her face. I think we could, nay SHOULD be friends. (Edited to add : call me, Hannah Arterton!)

Gotta say, I’m kinda captivated by the “steely determined imminent evil” look on her face. I think we could, nay SHOULD be friends. (Edited to add : call me, Hannah Arterton!)

“With enough force, those blown air-kisses can kind of sting. But please don’t stop, madam!”

“With enough force, those blown air-kisses can kind of sting. But please don’t stop, madam!”

“No, I had no difficulty telling them apart. After all, they’re not Marvel movies”  Faye Ward didn’t just produce this movie, she also produced    “Wild Rose”    which also had its BFI London Film Festival premiere this year.

“No, I had no difficulty telling them apart. After all, they’re not Marvel movies”
Faye Ward didn’t just produce this movie, she also produced “Wild Rose” which also had its BFI London Film Festival premiere this year.

“Is it composed so that the 50% Sale signs are directly in line with where I’m standing? Well, then : excellent!”

“Is it composed so that the 50% Sale signs are directly in line with where I’m standing? Well, then : excellent!”

“Well… Abbot and Costello met the wolfman, while Laurel and Hardy, they… they…. ummm…” . Yeah.. it’s tricky. I don’t know either.

“Well… Abbot and Costello met the wolfman, while Laurel and Hardy, they… they…. ummm…”. Yeah.. it’s tricky. I don’t know either.

“Are you focusing on the hair or the dress? Either or is fine” - Shirley Henderson plays the wife of Oliver Hardy in this movie, but is arguably (Still?) best known for playing Moaning Myrtle in two Harry Potter films. I last photographed her at the premiere of    “Tale of Tales”

“Are you focusing on the hair or the dress? Either or is fine” - Shirley Henderson plays the wife of Oliver Hardy in this movie, but is arguably (Still?) best known for playing Moaning Myrtle in two Harry Potter films. I last photographed her at the premiere of “Tale of Tales”

“I made the effort and wore a bow tie to this world premiere, Alex… and yet all I see around me is hoodies. Lots and lots of hoodies. What’s the deal with that?”

“I made the effort and wore a bow tie to this world premiere, Alex… and yet all I see around me is hoodies. Lots and lots of hoodies. What’s the deal with that?”

Jeff Pope wrote the screenplay for the movie (and also co-wrote ‘Philomena” with Steve Coogan, for which they were both Oscar nominated). And though it’s subtle, he’s also wearing a bow-tie. I’m not wearing a hoodie, exactly. Or rather I’m wearing a hoodie, but I’m wearing a jacket on top of it. Which, weirdly, also has a hood.

Jeff Pope wrote the screenplay for the movie (and also co-wrote ‘Philomena” with Steve Coogan, for which they were both Oscar nominated). And though it’s subtle, he’s also wearing a bow-tie. I’m not wearing a hoodie, exactly. Or rather I’m wearing a hoodie, but I’m wearing a jacket on top of it. Which, weirdly, also has a hood.

“I’m usually pretty good with ad-lib comedy, but all I’ve got right now is “you’re really short, aren’t you?” Come back in 20 minutes and I’ll have something better for you….”

“I’m usually pretty good with ad-lib comedy, but all I’ve got right now is “you’re really short, aren’t you?” Come back in 20 minutes and I’ll have something better for you….”

Director Edgar Wright, Day 1 of BFI LFF. I think that, like me, he was younger, and sprightlier back then.

Director Edgar Wright, Day 1 of BFI LFF. I think that, like me, he was younger, and sprightlier back then.

Director Edgar Wright, Day 12 of BFI LFF. And right now I feel like E.W. and I have been through The 5h1t together…

Director Edgar Wright, Day 12 of BFI LFF.
And right now I feel like E.W. and I have been through The 5h1t together…

I don’t know who this is, but if like me she’s done every day of this London Film Festival I’m both surprised I missed her, and impressed that she’s held up so well.

I don’t know who this is, but if like me she’s done every day of this London Film Festival I’m both surprised I missed her, and impressed that she’s held up so well.

“You gotta put the hat back on, Bro. The kids expect it.” ”Those kids are probably in their nineties now…….”

“You gotta put the hat back on, Bro. The kids expect it.”
”Those kids are probably in their nineties now…….”

“I don’t really want to ask…. but dude, can I borrow your beret until I get my bowler hat back?”

“I don’t really want to ask…. but dude, can I borrow your beret until I get my bowler hat back?”

“Okay… the bow ties on the cast are starting to make us all feel bad…. and I felt good when I stepped out of my front door this afternoon, Rufus. I really did.”

“Okay… the bow ties on the cast are starting to make us all feel bad…. and I felt good when I stepped out of my front door this afternoon, Rufus. I really did.”

“Steven, I heard you have something to say about the hat you’re holding?” “Yes. This hat technically isn’t mine, but let’s just say I needed it more than the person it belonged to. For… legal reasons. Important legal reasons.”

“Steven, I heard you have something to say about the hat you’re holding?”
“Yes. This hat technically isn’t mine, but let’s just say I needed it more than the person it belonged to. For… legal reasons. Important legal reasons.”

“Anyway, watch our movie. It’s pretty great. Also : wear a hat when it’s sunny, as it protects you from the sun’s harmful rays. Or when it’s cold, as it keeps your head warm. Or when it’s raining, as it keeps your head dry. Come to think of it, I have no idea why these things went out of fashion… they’re incredibly versatile across so many weather types.”

“Anyway, watch our movie. It’s pretty great. Also : wear a hat when it’s sunny, as it protects you from the sun’s harmful rays. Or when it’s cold, as it keeps your head warm. Or when it’s raining, as it keeps your head dry. Come to think of it, I have no idea why these things went out of fashion… they’re incredibly versatile across so many weather types.”

So.. that was that. 17 premieres in 12 days to add to The Archive of Premieres, a total lack of sleep, somewhere between 2 and 3 friendships compromised…. and it’s Sunday so I’ve got a full working week to look forward to… and I think that should be relaxing.

Until next time!

ps. If you ever want to know when I post one of these journals (and, in the case of BFI London Film Festival, chart my psychological unraveling), feel free to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or on twitter at berndt2_photo.

“Is BFI LFF really over? But… what are we going to do for the next 353 days til the next one?”  I for one plan to spend my time forgetting much of what happened at this one.

“Is BFI LFF really over? But… what are we going to do for the next 353 days til the next one?”
I for one plan to spend my time forgetting much of what happened at this one.