Stefanie Martini

4 Sep 2018 - The 'Hurricane' UK Premiere

September 4th, 2018.

It's been a little while since the glory of Frightfest (which was barely a week ago). Since then there's only been The "World Premiere" I'm Not Going To Dignify by referring to as an "event". And today's premiere was so small that when I swung by Leicester Square at lunch, there was no evidence it would even take place!

Still, filled with an optimism that makes no sense to me even now, I returned to Leicester Square after work. Here's how it went down:

It's just past 3:30pm, and one of the sweetest sights one can see .... in this case means that they're putting the red carpet entirely INSIDE a cinema for a premiere that's closed to the public. Argh.

It's just past 3:30pm, and one of the sweetest sights one can see .... in this case means that they're putting the red carpet entirely INSIDE a cinema for a premiere that's closed to the public. Argh.

No, they're not putting square of red carpet onto the major walkthrough to Leicester Square and calling that a premiere - yet - but the polished floors of the Vue Cinema behind me probably don't take kindly to knives being used to cut red carpets on them.

No, they're not putting square of red carpet onto the major walkthrough to Leicester Square and calling that a premiere - yet - but the polished floors of the Vue Cinema behind me probably don't take kindly to knives being used to cut red carpets on them.

Oh Frabjous Day : it turns out that the shape is deliberate, and against all likelihood this premiere will have an OUTSIDE component! (stop laughing at me... this is a real premiere).

Oh Frabjous Day : it turns out that the shape is deliberate, and against all likelihood this premiere will have an OUTSIDE component! (stop laughing at me... this is a real premiere).

It's not often I take a photo of every square centimetre of a red carpet (notwithstanding the parts that are inside the cinema) without using a wide-angle lens. But this is it. And this cinema, it's worth pointing out, has a side door that stars can use to bypass the carpet, should they choose.

It's not often I take a photo of every square centimetre of a red carpet (notwithstanding the parts that are inside the cinema) without using a wide-angle lens. But this is it. And this cinema, it's worth pointing out, has a side door that stars can use to bypass the carpet, should they choose.

But enough of the pessimism : this premiere has a List! And it contains five names, one of whom is big enough in Game Of Thrones to ensure the presence of a few fans, and even one or two 'minor' dealers. (The rest are presumably at a nearby hotel that's hosting the 'Crazy Rich Asians' gala. But I don't go to hotels for GALAS... only World Premieres)

But enough of the pessimism : this premiere has a List! And it contains five names, one of whom is big enough in Game Of Thrones to ensure the presence of a few fans, and even one or two 'minor' dealers. (The rest are presumably at a nearby hotel that's hosting the 'Crazy Rich Asians' gala. But I don't go to hotels for GALAS... only World Premieres)

There is nothing unusual to see here. This is how millennials take selfies these days.

There is nothing unusual to see here. This is how millennials take selfies these days.

This event has both a security and military presence. It's possible of course that the clothes are being worn for ornamental reasons (much like me wearing my "LA" cap at premieres might suggest that I am in fact a West Coast rapper, or wearing a beanie suggests I have a sense of style)

This event has both a security and military presence. It's possible of course that the clothes are being worn for ornamental reasons (much like me wearing my "LA" cap at premieres might suggest that I am in fact a West Coast rapper, or wearing a beanie suggests I have a sense of style)

They've put a notification on the VUE that there's a premiere on! (....does this mean there's a premiere on?)

They've put a notification on the VUE that there's a premiere on!
(....does this mean there's a premiere on?)

" If you didn't want them to spot you, you should have dressed down for this event, not up" . Our first arrival to run the gauntlet of C-grade autograph dealers, fans... and me and anybody in range with a mobile phone : is actress Stefanie Martini.

" If you didn't want them to spot you, you should have dressed down for this event, not up". Our first arrival to run the gauntlet of C-grade autograph dealers, fans... and me and anybody in range with a mobile phone : is actress Stefanie Martini.

I'm not a fan of selective desaturation in photos, but with the wild colours being worn by passersby in the background, this photo really wouldn't work any other way. It's a nice dress.

I'm not a fan of selective desaturation in photos, but with the wild colours being worn by passersby in the background, this photo really wouldn't work any other way. It's a nice dress.

Who knew complimenting a girl's dress could earn you a grateful fist-bump? Sadly I can't take Stefanie Martini up on the implied offer as I'm not really capable of fighting my way past five or six guys (one or two who might be security) for it. I'm cowardly and/or stupid like that.

Who knew complimenting a girl's dress could earn you a grateful fist-bump? Sadly I can't take Stefanie Martini up on the implied offer as I'm not really capable of fighting my way past five or six guys (one or two who might be security) for it. I'm cowardly and/or stupid like that.

"OH NO i'm fEELing evER So fAINt. WhO wiLL be bRAVE and ComerESCUe me?"  I think she's calling for my assistance, but then again, she's an actress and when they're really good you can't really tell if they're putting on an act or not. Damnit.

"OH NO i'm fEELing evER So fAINt. WhO wiLL be bRAVE and ComerESCUe me?" I think she's calling for my assistance, but then again, she's an actress and when they're really good you can't really tell if they're putting on an act or not. Damnit.

I think this outrageous flirting between Stefanie Martini and I really needs to stop..... being as purely hypothetical as it is in my mind.

I think this outrageous flirting between Stefanie Martini and I really needs to stop..... being as purely hypothetical as it is in my mind.

Sadly, the pretty Stefanie Martini has chosen the glitz and glamour of the inside of the cinema over the gritty reality of Tha Streetz where I dwell... and now I have a bunch of dudes to photograph. By which I should clarify : Milo Gibson, David Blair, and Krystof Hadek.

Sadly, the pretty Stefanie Martini has chosen the glitz and glamour of the inside of the cinema over the gritty reality of Tha Streetz where I dwell... and now I have a bunch of dudes to photograph. By which I should clarify : Milo Gibson, David Blair, and Krystof Hadek.

"No, I'm not the 'M.Gibson' who directed Hacksaw Ridge... but I am the 'M.Gibson' who acted in it. So yeah, you're in luck"  - Milo Gibson, the sixth (!) son of Mel Gibson, is in this movie

"No, I'm not the 'M.Gibson' who directed Hacksaw Ridge... but I am the 'M.Gibson' who acted in it. So yeah, you're in luck" - Milo Gibson, the sixth (!) son of Mel Gibson, is in this movie

"Save yourself, Honey! I don't think they're going to let me go without signing a few Road Warrior, What Women Want and Lethal Weapon 4 DVDs..... even if I had very little to do with any of them"

"Save yourself, Honey! I don't think they're going to let me go without signing a few Road Warrior, What Women Want and Lethal Weapon 4 DVDs..... even if I had very little to do with any of them"

This is possibly less a photo of two-time TV Bafta winning director David Blair (right) as it is the lone outdoor photographer (left), looking shell-shocked at brazen dealer behaviour. I didn't want to break it to him that he's not even getting the dealers' second reserve team at this event.

This is possibly less a photo of two-time TV Bafta winning director David Blair (right) as it is the lone outdoor photographer (left), looking shell-shocked at brazen dealer behaviour. I didn't want to break it to him that he's not even getting the dealers' second reserve team at this event.

"The woman behind me is smore in focus than I am, isn't she? And you're photographing me on a Pentax aren't you? And it's happening even though it's on centre-focus and I'm in the middle of frame, isn't it"  Yes to all three. The Nikon gets to play tomorrow, though. And I can't wait.

"The woman behind me is smore in focus than I am, isn't she? And you're photographing me on a Pentax aren't you? And it's happening even though it's on centre-focus and I'm in the middle of frame, isn't it" Yes to all three. The Nikon gets to play tomorrow, though. And I can't wait.

Sorry King of Burgers, but your logo was a bit too egregious a product placement for the subtle reflection shot I was going for. But I still love you, because although the burgers at Five Guys might be argued to be slightly better, they don't have windows overlooking Leicester Square.

Sorry King of Burgers, but your logo was a bit too egregious a product placement for the subtle reflection shot I was going for. But I still love you, because although the burgers at Five Guys might be argued to be slightly better, they don't have windows overlooking Leicester Square.

"Well... you cut off every avenue of escape, and blocked security from coming to my aid. I should be upset or terrified, but I'm mildly impressed all the same"  - Iwan Rheon is this premiere's biggest draw, having played the memorable Ramsay Bolton across 20 episodes of Game of Thrones.

"Well... you cut off every avenue of escape, and blocked security from coming to my aid. I should be upset or terrified, but I'm mildly impressed all the same" - Iwan Rheon is this premiere's biggest draw, having played the memorable Ramsay Bolton across 20 episodes of Game of Thrones.

"Wait... wait... I have to show you this photo of somebody else looking just as worried for their personal safety as you at another premiere". "Thanks. Nice to know I'm not at all unique in any way".   

"Wait... wait... I have to show you this photo of somebody else looking just as worried for their personal safety as you at another premiere".
"Thanks. Nice to know I'm not at all unique in any way".

 

Security had a chat to the kid on the left (the one whose face is obscured in both this and the prior picture) about his behaviour at the event, but I'd say we've long since established that chats don't work as well as actual disincentives for bad behaviour.  Meanwhile, I'd point out that the lady on the far left was collecting money for the    Royal Airforce Benevolent Fund   .

Security had a chat to the kid on the left (the one whose face is obscured in both this and the prior picture) about his behaviour at the event, but I'd say we've long since established that chats don't work as well as actual disincentives for bad behaviour.  Meanwhile, I'd point out that the lady on the far left was collecting money for the Royal Airforce Benevolent Fund.

"You wanted to photograph me, but you got distracted by the lady in the red, didn't you?"  Well... I was in a vulnerable place having lost my chance with Stefanie Martini and all..... But anyway, Krystof Hádek (behind the dude with the t-shirt and satchel) is in this movie, and also the underrated Scarlett Johansson movie "Under The Skin" and    "Interlude in Prague"

"You wanted to photograph me, but you got distracted by the lady in the red, didn't you?" Well... I was in a vulnerable place having lost my chance with Stefanie Martini and all..... But anyway, Krystof Hádek (behind the dude with the t-shirt and satchel) is in this movie, and also the underrated Scarlett Johansson movie "Under The Skin" and "Interlude in Prague"

I've always said that far too few premieres end with members of the public fist-bumping the organisers to say thank you.

I've always said that far too few premieres end with members of the public fist-bumping the organisers to say thank you.

So... that was a premiere. I was surprised it ended up being as good as it was, even if "as good as it was" meant a kind of open-footpath free-for-all. I guess I'm getting used to more or less anything being possible at premieres these days. Fortunately we're just over a month from the class and style of  BFI London Film Festival.... I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to that, and the +1 additions to the Archive of Premieres it will hopefully mean.

Until next time!

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