21 Aug 2018 - The 'Yardie' UK Premiere

August 21st, 2018.

In an unfortunate misunderstanding yesterday, I chose The Event With The Fabled Director over The Event That Was An Actual Event ... and came away with nothing except regret. But I had a chance to make amends one day later.... and this time I picked The Event That Was An Actual Event.

Here's how it went down:

The BFI Southbank seems to be  hosting a larger than usual amount of events. I suspect this is mostly because the Big Odeon Leicester Square is undergoing construction works that are sadly not expected to be complete until after London Film Festival.

The BFI Southbank seems to be  hosting a larger than usual amount of events. I suspect this is mostly because the Big Odeon Leicester Square is undergoing construction works that are sadly not expected to be complete until after London Film Festival.

The lack of Autograph Dealers at this premiere was apparently mainly due to actress Chloe Moretz being in town to promote "The Miseducation of Cameron Post". Fortunately I've photographed her at the premieres of    "Hugo in 3D"    in 2011 and    "Dark Shadows"    in 2012.

The lack of Autograph Dealers at this premiere was apparently mainly due to actress Chloe Moretz being in town to promote "The Miseducation of Cameron Post". Fortunately I've photographed her at the premieres of "Hugo in 3D" in 2011 and "Dark Shadows" in 2012.

I generally prefer to be in a public pen for premieres, but in this case the alignment of the stage and media meant that the best place to photograph the premiere... was outside the premiere.

I generally prefer to be in a public pen for premieres, but in this case the alignment of the stage and media meant that the best place to photograph the premiere... was outside the premiere.

"She seems happy - no need to tell her she's far too close for that photo to work"  Better known as an actor in such films as "   Thor (eg. The Dark World)"   ,    "Star Trek Beyond"   , and    "Pacific Rim"   ...  Idris Elba is the director of this movie.

"She seems happy - no need to tell her she's far too close for that photo to work" Better known as an actor in such films as "Thor (eg. The Dark World)", "Star Trek Beyond", and "Pacific Rim"...  Idris Elba is the director of this movie.

"Thanks mah peeps! I hope you're not offended by the word "peeps" - I checked the urban dictionary just before I got here and it's still for the most part unobjectionably neutral..."

"Thanks mah peeps! I hope you're not offended by the word "peeps" - I checked the urban dictionary just before I got here and it's still for the most part unobjectionably neutral..."

Stephen Graham (short-ish, centre) has a fairly remarkable imdb entry, including the last two Pirates of the Caribbean movies, 56 episodes of the TV Series 'Boardwalk Empire' and two movies I've been at the premieres of :    "The Damned United"    and    "Blood"   .

Stephen Graham (short-ish, centre) has a fairly remarkable imdb entry, including the last two Pirates of the Caribbean movies, 56 episodes of the TV Series 'Boardwalk Empire' and two movies I've been at the premieres of : "The Damned United" and "Blood".

"I found her.... can I keep her?"  Aml Ameen (in maroon) is in this movie - as is young Myla-Rae Huntchinson-Dunwell whose double hyphenated first-and-second name might actually be cooler than having a single word name like, erm, Cher, or Madonna.

"I found her.... can I keep her?" Aml Ameen (in maroon) is in this movie - as is young Myla-Rae Huntchinson-Dunwell whose double hyphenated first-and-second name might actually be cooler than having a single word name like, erm, Cher, or Madonna.

I just want to assure you, gentle reader, that I'd have photographed Brock Norman Brock even if he wasn't one of the two writers of the screenplay. Because..... he's got the same first name as his last name, and that, I think is ALSO cooler than having a single word name like, erm, Cher, or Madonna.

I just want to assure you, gentle reader, that I'd have photographed Brock Norman Brock even if he wasn't one of the two writers of the screenplay. Because..... he's got the same first name as his last name, and that, I think is ALSO cooler than having a single word name like, erm, Cher, or Madonna.

"I've got the five dollars I owe you.... but you're, like all the way up there and I'm all the way down here"

"I've got the five dollars I owe you.... but you're, like all the way up there and I'm all the way down here"

How awesome is this lady's necklace? It's kind of great. If you were going to drink something while wearing that, it would be out of a chalice, even if it was tea or fruitjuice or a milkshake. (I'm going to get back to photographing relevant attendees now)

How awesome is this lady's necklace? It's kind of great. If you were going to drink something while wearing that, it would be out of a chalice, even if it was tea or fruitjuice or a milkshake. (I'm going to get back to photographing relevant attendees now)

"This is how we clear the stage in MY hood" - Shantol Jackson (in yellow) is in this movie, but the PA keeping the stage clear is sadly not known to me by name.

"This is how we clear the stage in MY hood" - Shantol Jackson (in yellow) is in this movie, but the PA keeping the stage clear is sadly not known to me by name.

Shantol Jackson, possibly being too overcome by the gravity of the movie-board's tag-line.

Shantol Jackson, possibly being too overcome by the gravity of the movie-board's tag-line.

Adnan Mustafa is in this movie, playing the enigmatic character called "Engin" (unless that's "Engine" spelled without a trailing "e"?). His only prior imdb.com credit is as "miscellaneous crew" (ie. "extra") in the movie    "Pan" (2015)   .

Adnan Mustafa is in this movie, playing the enigmatic character called "Engin" (unless that's "Engine" spelled without a trailing "e"?). His only prior imdb.com credit is as "miscellaneous crew" (ie. "extra") in the movie "Pan" (2015).

'Yardie' is Everaldo Creary's fourth imdb.com credit, two of the others being the awesome-sounding "Better Mus' Come" and "Me & Mi Kru".... and the third being the rather plain-sounding "Small Island"

'Yardie' is Everaldo Creary's fourth imdb.com credit, two of the others being the awesome-sounding "Better Mus' Come" and "Me & Mi Kru".... and the third being the rather plain-sounding "Small Island"

"The exact placement of every one of the splatter dots on my jacket has been registered with the UNESCO as a world heritage site of unique cultural significance, fools!" . Which is more or less what I unsuccessfully claim whenever I'm forced to clean my apartment for any reason.

"The exact placement of every one of the splatter dots on my jacket has been registered with the UNESCO as a world heritage site of unique cultural significance, fools!". Which is more or less what I unsuccessfully claim whenever I'm forced to clean my apartment for any reason.

"I can bless couples, perform civil services and in extreme cases assist with exorcisms, but I'd kind of appreciate it if you kept your questions to things relating to this movie..."

"I can bless couples, perform civil services and in extreme cases assist with exorcisms, but I'd kind of appreciate it if you kept your questions to things relating to this movie..."

Jumayn Hunter is in this movie, and also played the fantastically named "Hi-Hatz" in the underrated little British scifi/horror "Attack The Block" (2011). Frankly, if I ever played a character called "Hi-Hatz" in any movie, I'd insist I be called that in EVERY movie, Elizabethan Costume Drama, ill-advised Chinese Martial Arts Movie, or whatever.

Jumayn Hunter is in this movie, and also played the fantastically named "Hi-Hatz" in the underrated little British scifi/horror "Attack The Block" (2011). Frankly, if I ever played a character called "Hi-Hatz" in any movie, I'd insist I be called that in EVERY movie, Elizabethan Costume Drama, ill-advised Chinese Martial Arts Movie, or whatever.

"You can get closer if you want to take this photo - I'm almost 80% certain security won't crash-tackle you as a Threat"  Akin Gazi is in this movie, and like many in the cast has some quite surprising imdb.com credits - he was "Auror 3" in Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them, "Interrogator on Monitor" in the Oscar-winning "Zero Dark Thirty" and... well.... "Saad" in    "The Devil's Double"    - a movie I was at the premiere of.

"You can get closer if you want to take this photo - I'm almost 80% certain security won't crash-tackle you as a Threat" Akin Gazi is in this movie, and like many in the cast has some quite surprising imdb.com credits - he was "Auror 3" in Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them, "Interrogator on Monitor" in the Oscar-winning "Zero Dark Thirty" and... well.... "Saad" in "The Devil's Double" - a movie I was at the premiere of.

Duramaney Kamara (in the floral-ish jacket) has two imdb.com credits, both in 2018, for this movie and "What Happened To Evie". And, as mentioned just now, he has a floral-ish jacket.

Duramaney Kamara (in the floral-ish jacket) has two imdb.com credits, both in 2018, for this movie and "What Happened To Evie". And, as mentioned just now, he has a floral-ish jacket.

Photographer at left be all :  "Hey, could you guys TRY to act more like a family??"  And Aml Ameen be all :  "We're barely talking to each other, passive-aggressively seething and laying the groundwork for years of resentment... .we couldn't be acting MORE like a family"

Photographer at left be all : "Hey, could you guys TRY to act more like a family??"
And Aml Ameen be all : "We're barely talking to each other, passive-aggressively seething and laying the groundwork for years of resentment... .we couldn't be acting MORE like a family"

Some days you miss photographing Thandie Newton for the second day in a row. Other days? You don't. True story.

Some days you miss photographing Thandie Newton for the second day in a row. Other days? You don't. True story.

I don't know who this is, but whenever I sit down to do    "quotes for the poster" on this website   , I metaphorically get into a mindspace where I look exactly like this gentleman. (Edited to add : he's Martin Stellman - this movie's other screenwriter)

I don't know who this is, but whenever I sit down to do "quotes for the poster" on this website, I metaphorically get into a mindspace where I look exactly like this gentleman. (Edited to add : he's Martin Stellman - this movie's other screenwriter)

"I'm not tucking my shirt in - the aesthetics of my whole look would be ruined if I did that. Also.... I dont want anyone to see the belt I'm wearing"  Johann Myers is in this movie in some capacity, but imdb.com isn't entirely clear on how.

"I'm not tucking my shirt in - the aesthetics of my whole look would be ruined if I did that. Also.... I dont want anyone to see the belt I'm wearing" Johann Myers is in this movie in some capacity, but imdb.com isn't entirely clear on how.

"Yeah, I've seen the belt that Johann is wearing. And I don't wanna talk about it."

"Yeah, I've seen the belt that Johann is wearing. And I don't wanna talk about it."

"The hand-gestures are an integral part of my answer to this question, so I hope your listeners are being provided with an ample description. Anyway... I gotta go."

"The hand-gestures are an integral part of my answer to this question, so I hope your listeners are being provided with an ample description. Anyway... I gotta go."

Not exactly eye-contact, but I'll take it

Not exactly eye-contact, but I'll take it

Sheldon Shepherd is in this movie, but imdb oddly provides no name for his character, AND reveals an eight-year gap between his role in this movie and the last one before it ("Better Mus' Come"). A dash of mystery, dreadlocks, and an enigmatic pair of sunglasses... this is how legends are made.

Sheldon Shepherd is in this movie, but imdb oddly provides no name for his character, AND reveals an eight-year gap between his role in this movie and the last one before it ("Better Mus' Come"). A dash of mystery, dreadlocks, and an enigmatic pair of sunglasses... this is how legends are made.

So... weird though it might have been, it was certifiably a premiere, and another +1 for The Archive. It wasn't all easy, though. I had to justify my spot and my camera on my perch overlooking the event, which is something I don't have to do very often and is almost always unpleasant when it happens, since being right is not the same as being liked. But these are "Tha Strugglez" I'll one day write songs, or perhaps thougthful haikus about....

... until next time!

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