12 Oct 2019 - The BFI LFF 'A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood' Gala

October 12th, 2019.

My day hadn’t started particularly well. Basically, it’s taken me a couple of decades of trying to figure out whether the majority of people are fundamentally selfish f&&king a55holes… or fundamentally decent people. Today I think I’ve drawn my conclusion. So…. if you’re an old lady trying to cross a road sometime in the next few lifetimes, you’re kind of on your own.

But hey, that’s not the fault of THIS premiere. This premiere is all about positivity and happiness. It’s about there being a beautiful day in the neighbourhood. Not sure if we should be teaching kids that kind of fantasy - why not stick to something more grounded like Star Wars?

Anyway - here’s how it went down.

It’s raining. Heavily and consistently. And while the reflections of colour on the pools of water make for interesting lighting, I could do without people asking me what’s going on. It’s literally written on the giant sign, people, even if this photo has overexposed it.

It’s raining. Heavily and consistently. And while the reflections of colour on the pools of water make for interesting lighting, I could do without people asking me what’s going on. It’s literally written on the giant sign, people, even if this photo has overexposed it.

“Is Tom Hanks expected?” ”No.” ”Then why are you all here?”  Actual interchange with a passerby. I need to stop talking with people. Meanwhile, the public pen is now open, but with Tom Hanks not expected, all the Dealers are off presumably stalking Robert Niro, Martin Scorsese and Al Pacino at whatever restaurant, hotel lobby and/or nightclub they’re at.

“Is Tom Hanks expected?”
”No.”
”Then why are you all here?”

Actual interchange with a passerby. I need to stop talking with people. Meanwhile, the public pen is now open, but with Tom Hanks not expected, all the Dealers are off presumably stalking Robert Niro, Martin Scorsese and Al Pacino at whatever restaurant, hotel lobby and/or nightclub they’re at.

“Henry, are you sure you’re good with ingesting this much liquid? You know how you get when you’ve had a few too many…”

“Henry, are you sure you’re good with ingesting this much liquid? You know how you get when you’ve had a few too many…”

“Who are you here to see?” ”Just the director” ”Just the director??” ”Yes, Just the Director” ”<judgemental look>  Actual interchange with a passerby. Look, Sir. If you’ve ever stood in line or in a crowd to watch a bunch of ludicrously overpaid spoiled sportsmen with admittedly fantastic hair then I think we’ve established that it’s okay to be a fan of things. So take your f&&king judgemental attitude and get lost.

“Who are you here to see?”
”Just the director”
”Just the director??”
”Yes, Just the Director”
”<judgemental look>

Actual interchange with a passerby. Look, Sir. If you’ve ever stood in line or in a crowd to watch a bunch of ludicrously overpaid spoiled sportsmen with admittedly fantastic hair then I think we’ve established that it’s okay to be a fan of things. So take your f&&king judgemental attitude and get lost.

I think I lost all sense of equanimity about 6 days into London Film Festival, so sadly as much as I’d like this to be the metaphorical representation of me, it is not.

I think I lost all sense of equanimity about 6 days into London Film Festival, so sadly as much as I’d like this to be the metaphorical representation of me, it is not.

“Tom, I’m standing here in the rain wondering what I’m doing here, and thanks to the comments of random passersby I’m questioning most of the decisions I’ve made in my life that have brought me here today. Also, I suspect nobody will ever watch this video we’re filming - everything’s just memes and gifs anyway.”

“Tom, I’m standing here in the rain wondering what I’m doing here, and thanks to the comments of random passersby I’m questioning most of the decisions I’ve made in my life that have brought me here today. Also, I suspect nobody will ever watch this video we’re filming - everything’s just memes and gifs anyway.”

Marielle Heller is the director of this film, and she looks how I feel. Maybe that judgemental dude from earlier stopped her as she was getting out of her car, saying  “can you believe people are standing around JUST to see the director of this film?”  If so, I can only apologise on behalf of London, Ma’am. Except I won’t because that’s pretty much what people are like. Probably everywhere.

Marielle Heller is the director of this film, and she looks how I feel. Maybe that judgemental dude from earlier stopped her as she was getting out of her car, saying “can you believe people are standing around JUST to see the director of this film?” If so, I can only apologise on behalf of London, Ma’am. Except I won’t because that’s pretty much what people are like. Probably everywhere.

“This is literally as happy as i feel right now, and I believe there should be Truth in Art, okay?”

“This is literally as happy as i feel right now, and I believe there should be Truth in Art, okay?”

“I’m hugging this guy, but it’s really not making me feel a lot better..” ”But it’s making ME feel better.” ”That doesn’t count.”

“I’m hugging this guy, but it’s really not making me feel a lot better..”
”But it’s making ME feel better.”
”That doesn’t count.”

Marielle Heller (,sir) is the director of this movie, and also the excellent    “Can You Ever Forgive Me?”    which had its BFI LFF premiere last year (and for which both Melissa McCarthy and Richard E Grant were Oscar-nominated)

Marielle Heller (,sir) is the director of this movie, and also the excellent “Can You Ever Forgive Me?” which had its BFI LFF premiere last year (and for which both Melissa McCarthy and Richard E Grant were Oscar-nominated)

“This is costing me almost everything I have, emotion-wise. Deal with it.”  The man Marielle Heller is hugging, incidentally, is Jorma Taccone - not just her husband, but a member of the comedy Trio The Lonely Island (and also the voice of Lego Shakespeare in The Lego Movie)

“This is costing me almost everything I have, emotion-wise. Deal with it.”
The man Marielle Heller is hugging, incidentally, is Jorma Taccone - not just her husband, but a member of the comedy Trio The Lonely Island (and also the voice of Lego Shakespeare in The Lego Movie)

“You always know how to cheer me up” ”I’m stealing your wallet.” ”And it was weighing me down….”

“You always know how to cheer me up”
”I’m stealing your wallet.”
”And it was weighing me down….”

“So this weather… you put it on just for me right, just so I could have an authentic London experience?” ”Ummm… yeah. Sure”

“So this weather… you put it on just for me right, just so I could have an authentic London experience?”
”Ummm… yeah. Sure”

“Could you turn the shutter sound on your camera down? I’m trying to enjoy the ambience of the sound of the rain on my umbrella”  All the photos in this journal were taken by the Pentax, not the Nikon, thus represent the quietest I can be. Also, I don’t care about other people, after having experienced the flip-side of it not 2 hours earlier.

“Could you turn the shutter sound on your camera down? I’m trying to enjoy the ambience of the sound of the rain on my umbrella”
All the photos in this journal were taken by the Pentax, not the Nikon, thus represent the quietest I can be. Also, I don’t care about other people, after having experienced the flip-side of it not 2 hours earlier.

Sorry. I’ll think quieter thoughts.

Sorry. I’ll think quieter thoughts.

“I can’t believe they spelled it wrong. Isn’t it s’posed to be    “Anuvva Cool Day in Va Hood”   ?”  (comment stolen/based upon one made by Carlos… so direct your accusations of racial stereotyping to him, and your accusations of theft onto me)

“I can’t believe they spelled it wrong. Isn’t it s’posed to be “Anuvva Cool Day in Va Hood”?”
(comment stolen/based upon one made by Carlos… so direct your accusations of racial stereotyping to him, and your accusations of theft onto me)

So… that was that. And, if I could make it through the next 90 minutes without drinking myself into a stupor or punching a random person on pre-emptive suspicion of them being a complete prick, there was even a second premiere to look forward to…. or, you know…. attend.

Until then!

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