31 Jan 2019 - The 'Alita : Battle Angel' World Premiere

January 31st, 2019.

Well, it’s another year… and it seems I might just get to do This Hobby Of Mine again. Mainly because the exertions of these events continues to be compatible with the rest of my duties : dating supermodels, solving crimes internationally and running a burgeoning business empire. All that, and I’ve got leftovers in the fridge that I can heat up while doing the photo-editing.

So…. it’s Alita Battle Angel’s World Premiere to start off the year, and here’s how it went down:

First journal photo for the year comes from my new ‘toy’ - a Ricoh Theta 360-degree camera I picked up remarkably cheaply in Japan last time I was there  (“remarkably cheaply” in this case being defined as “we’ve got a new model coming out but this fool doesn’t know that… let’s sell him one of the old ones since he doesn’t know better”)  .

First journal photo for the year comes from my new ‘toy’ - a Ricoh Theta 360-degree camera I picked up remarkably cheaply in Japan last time I was there (“remarkably cheaply” in this case being defined as “we’ve got a new model coming out but this fool doesn’t know that… let’s sell him one of the old ones since he doesn’t know better”) .

The temperature for this one hovered around a balmy 2 degrees celsius, but fortunately I was wearing no less than four layers of clothing : two thermal, one fleecy, one a ski jacket. This isn’t my first rodeo… but it’s worth pointing out my last  actual  rodeo involved mid-thirty degree temperatures and sunburn.

The temperature for this one hovered around a balmy 2 degrees celsius, but fortunately I was wearing no less than four layers of clothing : two thermal, one fleecy, one a ski jacket. This isn’t my first rodeo… but it’s worth pointing out my last actual rodeo involved mid-thirty degree temperatures and sunburn.

“Please don’t disturb me - I hear James Cameron is going to show up and I really want to impress him with my mad camera-wielding skillz” ”Unless you’re dual-wielding handheld 3D cameras there’s almost no chance of that happening, Jack”

“Please don’t disturb me - I hear James Cameron is going to show up and I really want to impress him with my mad camera-wielding skillz”
”Unless you’re dual-wielding handheld 3D cameras there’s almost no chance of that happening, Jack”

“Check it out : it’s me and Robert Rodriguez!!!” ”Where’s Robert Rodriguez?” ”I’m going to composite him in later….”

“Check it out : it’s me and Robert Rodriguez!!!”
”Where’s Robert Rodriguez?”
”I’m going to composite him in later….”

“I don’t drive a family car - I gotta a twin-SEATER / My girlfriend’s real messy but I’m a lot NEATER / If you’re feeling cold maybe buy a new HEATER / Fly into Tokyo - via Haneda or NARITA / Come on all yo’ fools, rhyme something with ALITA !”    - your good friend and mine Mr Impact made close to one (1) of those rhymes as he presided over the warmup portion of the event. Sadly, I had double phone-conference calls scheduled from 8pm and was thus unable to unleash my fearsome rap skillz in aid of freeness at this premiere…

“I don’t drive a family car - I gotta a twin-SEATER / My girlfriend’s real messy but I’m a lot NEATER / If you’re feeling cold maybe buy a new HEATER / Fly into Tokyo - via Haneda or NARITA / Come on all yo’ fools, rhyme something with ALITA !”
- your good friend and mine Mr Impact made close to one (1) of those rhymes as he presided over the warmup portion of the event. Sadly, I had double phone-conference calls scheduled from 8pm and was thus unable to unleash my fearsome rap skillz in aid of freeness at this premiere…

With temperatures nervously eyeing freezing point, the event finally gets underway. As previously stated, I’m wearing four layers of clothing, but that’s on my upper body. Lower body, socks and hands are not quite as warmly attired.

With temperatures nervously eyeing freezing point, the event finally gets underway. As previously stated, I’m wearing four layers of clothing, but that’s on my upper body. Lower body, socks and hands are not quite as warmly attired.

With eyes that large, you can see weird angles and into all kind of uncanny valleys. Still… script by James Cameron, so I’m somewhat optimistic.

With eyes that large, you can see weird angles and into all kind of uncanny valleys. Still… script by James Cameron, so I’m somewhat optimistic.

“What do you mean ‘I can’t read that’? No, of course I can’t read that… it’s facing away from me!”

“What do you mean ‘I can’t read that’? No, of course I can’t read that… it’s facing away from me!”

“Damn straight the robots are taking over. Join us and get that early-mover advantage is my advice…”

“Damn straight the robots are taking over. Join us and get that early-mover advantage is my advice…”

Jon Landau is a producer on this film - he’s produced (among other things) the James Cameron directed    ‘Avatar’    and    ‘Titanic’   , as well as… .erm…. 1990’s Dick Tracy and 1989’s Honey I Shrunk The Kids.

Jon Landau is a producer on this film - he’s produced (among other things) the James Cameron directed ‘Avatar’ and ‘Titanic’, as well as… .erm…. 1990’s Dick Tracy and 1989’s Honey I Shrunk The Kids.

“No you can’t have my snakeskin jacket. I killed it and skinned it and it would be a betrayal of its will to live to hand it over cheaply”  - Robert Rodriguez is this film’s director (he’s directed such films as “Sin City”, “El Mariachi” and that one “Predators” sequel everyone’s forgotten that I think isn’t half bad.

“No you can’t have my snakeskin jacket. I killed it and skinned it and it would be a betrayal of its will to live to hand it over cheaply” - Robert Rodriguez is this film’s director (he’s directed such films as “Sin City”, “El Mariachi” and that one “Predators” sequel everyone’s forgotten that I think isn’t half bad.

“You see, there’s this ‘Talent Moat’ they put on carpets, and you’ll notice I’m on one side of it and… how best to put this…. you’re not. You’re on the other.”  - Robert Rodriguez was very nice - crossing the talent moat more than once to sign autograph, pose for selfies and (I’m guessing) accept well-deserved compliments on his hat and jacket.

“You see, there’s this ‘Talent Moat’ they put on carpets, and you’ll notice I’m on one side of it and… how best to put this…. you’re not. You’re on the other.” - Robert Rodriguez was very nice - crossing the talent moat more than once to sign autograph, pose for selfies and (I’m guessing) accept well-deserved compliments on his hat and jacket.

“It took six hours to defeat it, Alex. When its skin didn’t turn out to have pinstripes, sure, I was disappointed. But I moved on. Also… what was the question again?”  - This movie had long been one that screenwriter James Cameron had been attached to. But (sigh) James Cameron has dedicated the past decade to releasing a grand total of… erm… zero movies in order to work on <checks> those <rechecks> four Avatar Sequels that they are apparently really going to release. Eventually.

“It took six hours to defeat it, Alex. When its skin didn’t turn out to have pinstripes, sure, I was disappointed. But I moved on. Also… what was the question again?” - This movie had long been one that screenwriter James Cameron had been attached to. But (sigh) James Cameron has dedicated the past decade to releasing a grand total of… erm… zero movies in order to work on <checks> those <rechecks> four Avatar Sequels that they are apparently really going to release. Eventually.

“I didn’t kill an animal to secure the hat, but you’d better believe I’m willing to die to retain it…. just kidding I can give you the name of the shop I bought it from.”

“I didn’t kill an animal to secure the hat, but you’d better believe I’m willing to die to retain it…. just kidding I can give you the name of the shop I bought it from.”

Jennifer Connelly is both very pretty, and currently wearing a dress seemingly inspired by those styrofoam mesh/bags they use in Japan to stop individual fruits from bruising.

Jennifer Connelly is both very pretty, and currently wearing a dress seemingly inspired by those styrofoam mesh/bags they use in Japan to stop individual fruits from bruising.

Christoph Waltz, meanwhile has two Academy Awards to Jennifer Connelly’s one (and James Cameron’s three) - he won best supporting Actor for the two Quentin Tarantino movies    “Inglourious Basterds”    and “   Django Unchained   ”.

Christoph Waltz, meanwhile has two Academy Awards to Jennifer Connelly’s one (and James Cameron’s three) - he won best supporting Actor for the two Quentin Tarantino movies “Inglourious Basterds” and “Django Unchained”.

“So wait…. everyone I’ve seen ties a scarf so that the two ends pass through a central loop, creating a double layer of heat retention. You seem to have gone with some kind of…. tie… thing? Also while I’ve got you up here, what’s Robert Rodriguez like to work with. Is he nice? He seems nice”

“So wait…. everyone I’ve seen ties a scarf so that the two ends pass through a central loop, creating a double layer of heat retention. You seem to have gone with some kind of…. tie… thing? Also while I’ve got you up here, what’s Robert Rodriguez like to work with. Is he nice? He seems nice”

Are you reading an extract from a spec script you’re planning to submit to James Cameron when he gets here?” ”Perhaps, perhaps…. But what if I were to read it in the form of a question you could answer?”

Are you reading an extract from a spec script you’re planning to submit to James Cameron when he gets here?”
”Perhaps, perhaps…. But what if I were to read it in the form of a question you could answer?”

“Are you taking scans of my fingerprints for nefarious purposes or something?”  Robert Rodriguez signs in our area. RIGHT in our area.

“Are you taking scans of my fingerprints for nefarious purposes or something?”
Robert Rodriguez signs in our area. RIGHT in our area.

Christoph Waltz, it turns out (and I have this on very good authority) strongly prefers not to sign blank pieces of paper. I am presently unable to think of a plausible or suitably wacky reason for this.

Christoph Waltz, it turns out (and I have this on very good authority) strongly prefers not to sign blank pieces of paper. I am presently unable to think of a plausible or suitably wacky reason for this.

“You brought a large scale replica of the Titanic to sign? Erm… well… watch out for the freezing weather is all I can say…”

“You brought a large scale replica of the Titanic to sign? Erm… well… watch out for the freezing weather is all I can say…”

Rosa Salazar plays the titular Battle Angel named ‘Alita’ in the film, though she was also in two of those ‘Maze Runner’ movies all the millennials probably now deny having watched and loved

Rosa Salazar plays the titular Battle Angel named ‘Alita’ in the film, though she was also in two of those ‘Maze Runner’ movies all the millennials probably now deny having watched and loved

“So were you wearing eye implants to make your eyes look that big? Or was it a full mask? Or some kind of prosthetic? … or did they maybe shrink your whole body just to make your eyes look proportionally larger? I’m going to keep guessing even if you don’t give me a clue….”

“So were you wearing eye implants to make your eyes look that big? Or was it a full mask? Or some kind of prosthetic? … or did they maybe shrink your whole body just to make your eyes look proportionally larger? I’m going to keep guessing even if you don’t give me a clue….”

“Is it a spoiler if I tell him about how digital effects work?”

“Is it a spoiler if I tell him about how digital effects work?”

“No, honestly, I’m not in the least bit cold….. …… …….. ………. And I’m an Oscar winning actress, andTHAT’S why you believe me! And… of course I’m freaking cold!”

“No, honestly, I’m not in the least bit cold…..
……
…….. ……….
And I’m an Oscar winning actress, andTHAT’S why you believe me! And… of course I’m freaking cold!”

Jennifer Connelly has decided that she will answer those questions quickly, rather than linger on stage in what I’m loosely going to call “a dress”

Jennifer Connelly has decided that she will answer those questions quickly, rather than linger on stage in what I’m loosely going to call “a dress”

“Of course, any similarity between my spec script and the basic plot of Titanic is purely coincidental, and I’m fairly sure James Cameron will never notice…”

“Of course, any similarity between my spec script and the basic plot of Titanic is purely coincidental, and I’m fairly sure James Cameron will never notice…”

“The Girl behind you says she’s your biggest fan and knows what hotel you’re staying and looks forward to meeting you later this evening … that’s not creepy, right? Also, for legal reasons I just want to point out that Mad Jared who splices our camera feeds is pretty slow and my notes might refer to the girl we showed before this girl, … or the guy we show up next”  - Keean Johnson is in this film, and only partially as worried as he maybe should be.

“The Girl behind you says she’s your biggest fan and knows what hotel you’re staying and looks forward to meeting you later this evening … that’s not creepy, right? Also, for legal reasons I just want to point out that Mad Jared who splices our camera feeds is pretty slow and my notes might refer to the girl we showed before this girl, … or the guy we show up next”
- Keean Johnson is in this film, and only partially as worried as he maybe should be.

“It’s suddenly become too cold to ask questions, so I’m going to cut you a break. How about you ask yourself any question you want, and then you answer it. How does that work for you?”

“It’s suddenly become too cold to ask questions, so I’m going to cut you a break. How about you ask yourself any question you want, and then you answer it. How does that work for you?”

Yukito Kishiro is the creator of the manga upon which Alita Battle Angel was based. If his beret has a name, I am not presently able to determine what it is.

Yukito Kishiro is the creator of the manga upon which Alita Battle Angel was based. If his beret has a name, I am not presently able to determine what it is.

“Glad y’all showed up. Anyone wanna lend me a beanie? A single glove? Anything at all to keep me even slightly warm? “  Dua Lipa is a…. I’m going to say singer?

“Glad y’all showed up. Anyone wanna lend me a beanie? A single glove? Anything at all to keep me even slightly warm? “ Dua Lipa is a…. I’m going to say singer?

“Alex, if you don’t do the gentlemanly thing and offer me your jacket, I’m going to do the gentlemanly thing and threaten to shoot you”

“Alex, if you don’t do the gentlemanly thing and offer me your jacket, I’m going to do the gentlemanly thing and threaten to shoot you”

“I get the feeling she meant that… fortunately she was far too cold to hold the gun steady….Also, it’s James Cameron everybody!!!”

“I get the feeling she meant that… fortunately she was far too cold to hold the gun steady….Also, it’s James Cameron everybody!!!”

“I hope you haven’t brought me a spec script, Alex. I strongly prefer to write, produce and direct my own….”

“I hope you haven’t brought me a spec script, Alex. I strongly prefer to write, produce and direct my own….”

“Well, it’s not so much a spec script as a script that I’ve written that I’m also happy to produce and direct if you give it your blessing….. and maybe if you were to bankroll it to the tune of a couple hundred million….”

“Well, it’s not so much a spec script as a script that I’ve written that I’m also happy to produce and direct if you give it your blessing….. and maybe if you were to bankroll it to the tune of a couple hundred million….”

“Mom, if you’re watching this that tattoo on my arm is totally digital. TOTALLY DIGITAL. Peace, Out!”

“Mom, if you’re watching this that tattoo on my arm is totally digital. TOTALLY DIGITAL. Peace, Out!”

So… that was that. Premiere #1 for the year, Premiere #484 all-time… and let’s see how much time remains on the clock before this stops. There’s another one this weekend, and the Baftas the following weekend if I can somehow secure a wristband based on their “we’re handing out even LESS wristbands this year!!!” philosophy…

But that’s another issue for another time. For now, it’s +1 for the Archive of Premieres…. as well as my traditional invite for all-comers to feel free to follow me on twitter or facebook if you ever want to know when I post one of these things (or at times note the 5- or 10- year anniversary of a premiere I went to).

Until next time!