29 Jul 2019 - The 'Blinded by the Light' Premiere

July 29th, 2019.

It was just late last week that Curzon Mayfair (the unheralded “Home of Premieres” in London, if numbers count more than just saying it) hosted the ‘Fast & Furious Presents : Hobbs & Shaw’ premiere (previously advertised as a ‘Screening’), and today its ‘Gala’ for ‘Blinded by the Light’ was upgraded to full ‘premiere’ status too. Tomorrow will / should be different - it’s Leicester Square for QT’s Ninth, and Latest.

But for now we’re at Curzon, and here’s how it went down:

In my opinion, eight of the sweetest letters in the English language. Or five, from a certain point of view.

In my opinion, eight of the sweetest letters in the English language.
Or five, from a certain point of view.

“I don’t know why they keep printing out lists at premieres. Aren’t we getting to the point where it’d just be cheaper and more environmentally friendly to just hand out iPads?”

“I don’t know why they keep printing out lists at premieres. Aren’t we getting to the point where it’d just be cheaper and more environmentally friendly to just hand out iPads?”

“What do you mean ‘Leo isn’t coming’? Why not? And don’t tell me it’s because he’s not in the movie - because the question would be why ISN’T he in this movie? — didn’t they ask him? And if they didn’t and he auditioned… well, how would LEO fail an audition??”

“What do you mean ‘Leo isn’t coming’? Why not? And don’t tell me it’s because he’s not in the movie - because the question would be why ISN’T he in this movie? — didn’t they ask him? And if they didn’t and he auditioned… well, how would LEO fail an audition??”

One very exciting (?) element of Curzon Mayfair premieres is that when they fail to shut down the road, you have the opportunity (?) of shooting through and around cars, vans, taxis and even the odd truck. But only once the premiere starts… before that it’s usually easy enough.

One very exciting (?) element of Curzon Mayfair premieres is that when they fail to shut down the road, you have the opportunity (?) of shooting through and around cars, vans, taxis and even the odd truck. But only once the premiere starts… before that it’s usually easy enough.

Oh, look. The premiere appears to be starting.

Oh, look. The premiere appears to be starting.

“Am I pissed off because that woman’s hair is even more blonde than mine? No. Well, Yes. But not only that.”  I don’t (yet) know who this is. (Edited to add : Nell Williams, who is in this movie)

“Am I pissed off because that woman’s hair is even more blonde than mine? No. Well, Yes. But not only that.” I don’t (yet) know who this is. (Edited to add : Nell Williams, who is in this movie)

“It’s much more fun in the non-blonde section…”  It’s even cooler where there’s little or no hair. Just saying.

“It’s much more fun in the non-blonde section…”
It’s even cooler where there’s little or no hair. Just saying.

“What do you mean you didn’t bring the hat that matches my suit jacket? it’s the ONLY one that does!”  I believe this is Frankie Fox, who according to imdb is currently best known for playing the role of “Dazza” in something called “Grandpa’s Great Escape”.

“What do you mean you didn’t bring the hat that matches my suit jacket? it’s the ONLY one that does!”
I believe this is Frankie Fox, who according to imdb is currently best known for playing the role of “Dazza” in something called “Grandpa’s Great Escape”.

“Nice car. How much does one of those cost? Oh, nothing. I just want to know if you’re in a position to be sued if you run over me in that car…”

“Nice car. How much does one of those cost? Oh, nothing. I just want to know if you’re in a position to be sued if you run over me in that car…”

Through-two-side-windows photography.  Because I can.

Through-two-side-windows photography. Because I can.

“Hey, Babes…. have you got that thing I can use to cut off another one of my shirt buttons? YES IT’S AN EMERGENCY!” -  identification of attendee (and name of that thing you can use to cut off another one of his shirt button) pending. (Edited to add : Aaron Phagura - who is in this movie)

“Hey, Babes…. have you got that thing I can use to cut off another one of my shirt buttons? YES IT’S AN EMERGENCY!” - identification of attendee (and name of that thing you can use to cut off another one of his shirt button) pending. (Edited to add : Aaron Phagura - who is in this movie)

“And now you know why I insisted on this red carpet being orange”  - Gurinder Chadha is the director of this movie - as well as movies such as ‘Bend it Like Beckham’ and    ‘Viceroy’s House’.

“And now you know why I insisted on this red carpet being orange” - Gurinder Chadha is the director of this movie - as well as movies such as ‘Bend it Like Beckham’ and ‘Viceroy’s House’.

“Okay, I’ll cross - but if I’m hit by any car it had better be a Mercedes or Higher.” . BMW or higher is my personal threshold, but this IS Mayfair, London. And Gurinder Chadha crosses the road to sign autographs (the only attendee brave enough to do so!)

“Okay, I’ll cross - but if I’m hit by any car it had better be a Mercedes or Higher.”.
BMW or higher is my personal threshold, but this IS Mayfair, London. And Gurinder Chadha crosses the road to sign autographs (the only attendee brave enough to do so!)

“Wait, guys… I’ll pose in a second, but first I need to find out why Babes is upset with me" ”Could it have something to do with you continuing to call me “Babes” after I’ve told you to stop?” ”That seems unlikely…”

“Wait, guys… I’ll pose in a second, but first I need to find out why Babes is upset with me"
”Could it have something to do with you continuing to call me “Babes” after I’ve told you to stop?”
”That seems unlikely…”

“This is going to come out wrong, but I’m going to ask it anyway : do you mind if I use your dress as a cape? I forgot mine in the back of the limo…”  Vivek Kalra (if this be he) is the male lead in this film.

“This is going to come out wrong, but I’m going to ask it anyway : do you mind if I use your dress as a cape? I forgot mine in the back of the limo…”
Vivek Kalra (if this be he) is the male lead in this film.

“Of course I was talking to you and not the DIRECTOR - can’t you see that red totally wouldn’t work with this ensemble?”

“Of course I was talking to you and not the DIRECTOR - can’t you see that red totally wouldn’t work with this ensemble?”

“Sigh. Some days you just can’t get a cape….”

“Sigh. Some days you just can’t get a cape….”

“The pattern on this top is trademarked, so I’d prefer if you don’t photograph it. My midriff is still having its paperwork finalised, so you’re probably safe with that.”  Always prepare for fame, is my advice (copyright : me). (Also : don’t piss off Disney (copyright : me)) (edited to add : Heida Reed, not in this movie, but apparently in something called  ‘Poldark’ )

“The pattern on this top is trademarked, so I’d prefer if you don’t photograph it. My midriff is still having its paperwork finalised, so you’re probably safe with that.”
Always prepare for fame, is my advice (copyright : me). (Also : don’t piss off Disney (copyright : me)) (edited to add : Heida Reed, not in this movie, but apparently in something called ‘Poldark’)

“The quality is good, but I’d prefer my portrait in landscape format like that other guy is doing.”  I believe this is Meera Ganatra, who is in this film. (And in related news, I wish Wireimage.com would load photos from this premiere so I can ID attendees and not look like I have no idea what I’m doing)

“The quality is good, but I’d prefer my portrait in landscape format like that other guy is doing.”
I believe this is Meera Ganatra, who is in this film. (And in related news, I wish Wireimage.com would load photos from this premiere so I can ID attendees and not look like I have no idea what I’m doing)

“Dutch Tilt portrait photography? That reeks of desperation, in my view”

“Dutch Tilt portrait photography? That reeks of desperation, in my view”

“People keep hugging each other and I have no idea if they even know each other! What do I do??”

“People keep hugging each other and I have no idea if they even know each other! What do I do??”

People keep hugging each other. Once that might have made me slightly uncomfortable, but that was before I found out about    “The Hug Song”    by Splash’N Boots.. Now I feel like I should have photographed more people hugging… (edited to add : Man On Right is Kulvinder Ghir, who is in this movie)

People keep hugging each other. Once that might have made me slightly uncomfortable, but that was before I found out about “The Hug Song” by Splash’N Boots.. Now I feel like I should have photographed more people hugging…
(edited to add : Man On Right is Kulvinder Ghir, who is in this movie)

“Kinda feel like I need a hug right now…”  Sorry Lady, but I’m not crossing the road at a Curzon Mayfair premiere. Not on the day before a Quentin Tarantino premiere, at any rate.

“Kinda feel like I need a hug right now…”
Sorry Lady, but I’m not crossing the road at a Curzon Mayfair premiere. Not on the day before a Quentin Tarantino premiere, at any rate.

“Yes, I’m in this movie, but I don’t have a ticket. But somebody told me that this was the password to get in"  My personal go-to is “Jaruut Sent Me.” I live in hope. (edited to add : the lady on the left is Krupa Pattani, 106 episodes of Hollyoakes, but not in this movie)

“Yes, I’m in this movie, but I don’t have a ticket. But somebody told me that this was the password to get in" My personal go-to is “Jaruut Sent Me.” I live in hope. (edited to add : the lady on the left is Krupa Pattani, 106 episodes of Hollyoakes, but not in this movie)

“I’m sure if I were to look behind me, the placement of that guy on the poster would be just about perfect”  Possibly. Also : Possibly in this movie. (Edited to add : Amanda Clapham, not in this movie but apparently in 383 episodes of ‘Hollyoakes’)

“I’m sure if I were to look behind me, the placement of that guy on the poster would be just about perfect”
Possibly. Also : Possibly in this movie. (Edited to add : Amanda Clapham, not in this movie but apparently in 383 episodes of ‘Hollyoakes’)

“The better camera is typically on the other side, but don’t let that stop you….”  possibly Sonali Shah.

“The better camera is typically on the other side, but don’t let that stop you….”
possibly Sonali Shah.

“If you wanna go with the Dutch Tilt and that’s your first instinct, I say go with it. And absolutely do it if you can work that guy’s hat into the background…”

“If you wanna go with the Dutch Tilt and that’s your first instinct, I say go with it. And absolutely do it if you can work that guy’s hat into the background…”

“Security Man says he’s looking after that vital letter “N” on the wall, but that guy over there says he might help you track down the Starfleet communicator somebody callously ripped off your shirt” ”I have no idea what you’re talking about”  (Edited to add : Archie Panjabi : not in this movie)

“Security Man says he’s looking after that vital letter “N” on the wall, but that guy over there says he might help you track down the Starfleet communicator somebody callously ripped off your shirt”
”I have no idea what you’re talking about”
(Edited to add : Archie Panjabi : not in this movie)

<identification pending> <location of Starfleet communicator pending> (edited to add : Archie Panjabi, who has been in such movies as ‘San Andreas’ and ‘A Good Year’ and TV Series The Good Wife)

<identification pending>
<location of Starfleet communicator pending>
(edited to add : Archie Panjabi, who has been in such movies as ‘San Andreas’ and ‘A Good Year’ and TV Series The Good Wife)

“I’ve tried holding it down but the dress just refuses to co-operate. Fortunately my boyfriend’s shirt will distract most of you…. right? RIGHT?”  The main reason I recognise Victoria Clay is because I photographed her at the    ‘Welcome to Curiosity’ premiere    last year.

“I’ve tried holding it down but the dress just refuses to co-operate. Fortunately my boyfriend’s shirt will distract most of you…. right? RIGHT?” The main reason I recognise Victoria Clay is because I photographed her at the ‘Welcome to Curiosity’ premiere last year.

“Leo’s DEFINITELY not coming? Well… that’s a pity, of course…”

“Leo’s DEFINITELY not coming? Well… that’s a pity, of course…”

So, that was that. A bit light on detail and identification of attendees at time of uploading but I’ll make sure to discreetly smuggle in corrective narrative at a later time in a way that’s hopefully mostly invisible.

Until next time (hopefully tomorrow!), it’s +1 for the Archive of premieres, and a traditional invitation to follow me on facebook at premieresdotco, or twitter at berndt2_photo. if you aren’t already. But why not recommend me to friends? or confuse your enemies? The motivation is unimportant.