21 Mar 2019 - The 'Dumbo (2019)' European Premiere

March 2019.

The European Premiere of a movie called “Dumbo” being held in this country right now is a Brexit joke so tantalisingly simple that I’m going to leave it hanging… and move on. And actually, I hadn’t even planned to be here : I’d made plans to photograph the “UK Premiere” of “Vita & Virginia” at BFI Southbank, but in perhaps yet another bit of foreshadowing, that “UK Premiere” appeared to have had delusions of grandeur it miserably failed to live up to.

So… Curzon Mayfair for Disney, yet again. Here’s how that went down:

So here I am, again on the wrong side of the fence of a Disney event. Fortunately, it only tends to happen at Disney events….. but unfortunately Disney’s deal to buy 20th Century Fox passed yesterday.

So here I am, again on the wrong side of the fence of a Disney event. Fortunately, it only tends to happen at Disney events….. but unfortunately Disney’s deal to buy 20th Century Fox passed yesterday.

“That late-in-life growth spurt sure made my job easier”  - is there some kind of extract you can take for that…. and how illegal / dangerous (/expensive) is it? I’m asking … for a friend…. who shares my first and last name.

“That late-in-life growth spurt sure made my job easier” - is there some kind of extract you can take for that…. and how illegal / dangerous (/expensive) is it? I’m asking … for a friend…. who shares my first and last name.

“White shirt? You really couldn’t have worn ANYTHING more edgy?” ”It’s light salmon, and if I’d gone to BFI Southbank like I’d wanted, it would have been exceedingly edgy”  - it’s Tim Burton, the director of this Disney adaptation (he also directed the live-action    ‘Alice in Wonderland’    back in 2010)

“White shirt? You really couldn’t have worn ANYTHING more edgy?”
”It’s light salmon, and if I’d gone to BFI Southbank like I’d wanted, it would have been exceedingly edgy”

- it’s Tim Burton, the director of this Disney adaptation (he also directed the live-action ‘Alice in Wonderland’ back in 2010)

“I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but as far as Dutch Tilts go, your camerawoman is taking this a bit too far”

“I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but as far as Dutch Tilts go, your camerawoman is taking this a bit too far”

“There’s no way I’m doing a live-action Disney remake of ‘The Aristocats’ no matter what the rumours say, or how much Disney offers to pay me. ‘Basil the Great Mouse Detective’ on the other hand….”

“There’s no way I’m doing a live-action Disney remake of ‘The Aristocats’ no matter what the rumours say, or how much Disney offers to pay me. ‘Basil the Great Mouse Detective’ on the other hand….”

“Mr Farrell, is this the part where if I tell you I love you, you’ll lift me over this barrier and we can be together forever from that point on?” ”Ummm… let me take a few steps back before I answer that”

“Mr Farrell, is this the part where if I tell you I love you, you’ll lift me over this barrier and we can be together forever from that point on?”
”Ummm… let me take a few steps back before I answer that”

“Okay, I defused that situation. Does anyone want me to negotiate a trade deal next?”  - Colin Farrell’s last Disney-related film role was as PL Travers’ father in the Mary Poppins origin story    “Saving Mr Banks”

“Okay, I defused that situation. Does anyone want me to negotiate a trade deal next?”
- Colin Farrell’s last Disney-related film role was as PL Travers’ father in the Mary Poppins origin story “Saving Mr Banks”

For now, Security are okay with me and a couple of other people taking photos over the barriers, but only on the understanding that we NEVER get in the way of any ticket-holders queueing to get into the event. And that queue of ticket-holders grew long, forcing us to move considerably to the left at some stages. (This Is How The Sauce Is Made)

For now, Security are okay with me and a couple of other people taking photos over the barriers, but only on the understanding that we NEVER get in the way of any ticket-holders queueing to get into the event. And that queue of ticket-holders grew long, forcing us to move considerably to the left at some stages. (This Is How The Sauce Is Made)

“I suppose we could try to look a little bit more excited…” ”I certainly couldn’t. Why… what are you holding back??”

“I suppose we could try to look a little bit more excited…”
”I certainly couldn’t. Why… what are you holding back??”

“I’m taking my lead from the director and star… this is as excited as I’m willing to get.”  - I think this is Nico Parker, who is in the film, and either she’s related to actress Thandie Newton somehow, or Thandie Newton might have gotten a bit close in subsequent photos. (edited to add : she’s Thandie Newton’s daughter)

“I’m taking my lead from the director and star… this is as excited as I’m willing to get.” - I think this is Nico Parker, who is in the film, and either she’s related to actress Thandie Newton somehow, or Thandie Newton might have gotten a bit close in subsequent photos. (edited to add : she’s Thandie Newton’s daughter)

“Does anyone’s camera shutter suddenly not make a clicking sound anymore, because mine doesn’t and I’m wondering if that’s normal….”

“Does anyone’s camera shutter suddenly not make a clicking sound anymore, because mine doesn’t and I’m wondering if that’s normal….”

“I’m signed on for at least two sequels - draft titles “Dumbo The Winter Soldier” and “Dumbo Civil War” - or so I’m told. Actually I’m not so sure I was allowed to say that”  - it’s Danny DeVito, arguably still best known for playing The Penguin in Tim Burton’s “Batman Returns”

“I’m signed on for at least two sequels - draft titles “Dumbo The Winter Soldier” and “Dumbo Civil War” - or so I’m told. Actually I’m not so sure I was allowed to say that”
- it’s Danny DeVito, arguably still best known for playing The Penguin in Tim Burton’s “Batman Returns”

“It’s absolutely my intention to hold this pose until I get a hug from Eva Green, and I don’t for a second believe you’d do any different in my position”

“It’s absolutely my intention to hold this pose until I get a hug from Eva Green, and I don’t for a second believe you’d do any different in my position”

“That was definitely a hug for the ages : I hope you all caught that”  - it’s Eva Green - she was the Bond girl Vesper in ‘Casino Royale’, and has been in prior Tim Burton movies such as ‘   Dark Shadows’.

“That was definitely a hug for the ages : I hope you all caught that” - it’s Eva Green - she was the Bond girl Vesper in ‘Casino Royale’, and has been in prior Tim Burton movies such as ‘Dark Shadows’.

And now for a completely different colour…. (edited to add : she’s Lilah Parsons) (edited to add : I don’t know what that is)

And now for a completely different colour…. (edited to add : she’s Lilah Parsons) (edited to add : I don’t know what that is)

“Can you make it out to Colin Farrell? I want to give it to him as a gift…”  - the only other time I photographed Eva Green (besides Dark Shadows) was at the premiere of the little-remembered    “Perfect Sense”    - which was a quiet premiere  because there was a much larger premiere elsewhere. Which I decided to skip. Because of Eva Green’s presence at the smaller one. Obviously.

“Can you make it out to Colin Farrell? I want to give it to him as a gift…”
- the only other time I photographed Eva Green (besides Dark Shadows) was at the premiere of the little-remembered “Perfect Sense” - which was a quiet premiere because there was a much larger premiere elsewhere. Which I decided to skip. Because of Eva Green’s presence at the smaller one. Obviously.

Taking three or four selfies simultaneously is exactly the kind of efficiency gain the industry has been looking for in the past few years.

Taking three or four selfies simultaneously is exactly the kind of efficiency gain the industry has been looking for in the past few years.

“I can tell you right now that unless you can provide proof otherwise, there is no way I was ever associated with a remake of the Arnold Schwarzennegger classic “Total Recall” … as far as I can recall “. I’d be inclined to believe him, but the dress Jessica Biel wore    at that premiere    still scars my nightmares sometimes.

“I can tell you right now that unless you can provide proof otherwise, there is no way I was ever associated with a remake of the Arnold Schwarzennegger classic “Total Recall” … as far as I can recall“. I’d be inclined to believe him, but the dress Jessica Biel wore at that premiere still scars my nightmares sometimes.

“It’s not that I don’t want to answer your question…I just want to use this extended silence so I can hear how Colin answers the follow-up question”

“It’s not that I don’t want to answer your question…I just want to use this extended silence so I can hear how Colin answers the follow-up question”

“I’m still stunned about the revelation that they re-made Total Recall in 2012. Tell me… they never made any Batman movies after 1992, did they?”

“I’m still stunned about the revelation that they re-made Total Recall in 2012. Tell me… they never made any Batman movies after 1992, did they?”

“I do prefer to ask my questions and jot down the answers in shorthand on a notepad, but just this once I’m using a cameraman to record everything you say. I hope this doesn’t offend you.”

“I do prefer to ask my questions and jot down the answers in shorthand on a notepad, but just this once I’m using a cameraman to record everything you say. I hope this doesn’t offend you.”

“X-Men crossover and a raunchy roadtrip comedy with Deadpool? More likely now than before, I guess”

“X-Men crossover and a raunchy roadtrip comedy with Deadpool? More likely now than before, I guess”

So.. that was that. Not the way I prefer to photograph premieres, but for now (and without any expectation that this will be allowed in the future) if I’m allowed to photograph from outside an event, not only does it mean I can add +1 premiere to the Archive of Premieres, it’s also a lot better than nothing. And by a lot I mean ‘slightly’.

Until next time!

For now, feel free to take a gamble and assume I’ll still be in the Ukay to do a few more of these by following me on Facebook or Twitter, or if you’re really committed (and/or pretty) following me to countries that might allow EU passport holders in the future.