10 Apr 2019 - Another f**king Marvel Insult

April 10th, 2019.

Note : The price of admission for this journal is a rant, first. Scroll down for the photos, such as they are.. and a bit of retraction/contextualisation.

Rant Begins :

Dear Disney/ Marvel, I thought it was customary to make sure to get peoples’ money before you insult them, but apparently your arrogance and overconfidence in your latest movie means you feel that’s unnecessary. To which : F**K YOU.

Let’s revisit Marvel’s last couple of movie releases (other than Captain Marvel which was limited to just 80 wristbands) and how they were marketed in London. Thor Ragnarok : No premiere at all. Spider-Man Homecoming : No premiere at all. Fine. But Black Panther : They called it a EUROPEAN PREMIERE - and made it a completely closed event, stars driven in by car. Avengers Infinity War : Completely Closed Event inaccessible to outside fans. So in other words, rather than not having premieres, they’ve started to dangle FAKE events in front of fans, and making them look ‘real’ and ‘grand’ online for marketing purposes. Which to me is worse than having nothing. Avengers premieres and Captain America premieres used to be Awesome.

And for Avengers Endgame? They had an event so closed off that they put up INTERIOR F**KING CURTAINS to prevent photographs being taken by people in the pens set up outside the venue… the same fans who 1 of 2 directors blankly walked past, 2 of 3 actors didn’t even enter via the front entrance, and the third literally walked past without looking up.

Because that’s how you promote a movie : walk right past fans … and inside the venue show less than 1/6 of the runtime of your film to a bunch of competition winners who’ll be so grateful for the table-scraps you threw at them that they’ll excitedly tweet about it and add to the hype machine. So cheap. So disrespectful.

Hey MARVEL - who do you think is a bigger fan : somebody who takes a couple of seconds to enter an online competition form hoping to get lucky, or somebody who actually waits FIVE F**KING HOURS hoping that just F**KING MAYBE a star MIGHT turn right for a second on their way out of a car? I’m not denigrating the people INSIDE the event (hell, call me a sore loser if you want!), but I am questioning the thought processes that went into this.

But… when you all this a “Fan Screening” what the fuck are you getting at?

The thing is: it’s easy to do something “nice” for people who’ll reward you by spouting your ‘purchased’ amazing-ness to the world - but a real test of character is whether you can be bothered to do something nice (even if it takes a few minutes) to people who you don’t benefit from directly.

You, Marvel, are a bunch of Arrogant pricks. You have no concept of who your fans are - you just want their f**king money, and also to project the image that you’re meeting them and care about them… which you’d prefer to imply you’re doing, rather than literally just go ONE F**KING METRE further and actually doing.

Yes, I’m an entitled whiner. But you treated me like I didn’t matter. Again. And you did it in a way that was even more disrespectful than before. Yes, you can buy special effects. You can buy talented actors. You can buy talented craftsmen. You can, and you have, even fucking OUTRIGHT BOUGHT your competition. You can even spend TWO HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS to promote this movie. But you can’t buy class. You can buy the appearance of having class… but today you couldn’t even be bothered to do that.

FUCK YOU. All I know is that I’m not watching your f**king movie. I don’t give my money to people who disrespect me. I have some pride.

And if I offended anyone with what I’ve written, I hope you’re one of the people who deserves it.

<the next morning> And yes… I realise that in writing this that it is much, MUCH more likely to reflect badly on me than Marvel. And yet…. I feel I have to. Or want to. Same thing. I’m upset. Damnit, Scarlett Johansson didn’t even look left (or right)!

Sigh.

Journal:

I got there just after 3pm and managed to get myself into the front row of a pen, a position I’ve chosen because (presciently) even if stars walk in, all    Keira-Knightley-At-The-Aftermath    style, I’ll be able to have some kind of angle of their approach

I got there just after 3pm and managed to get myself into the front row of a pen, a position I’ve chosen because (presciently) even if stars walk in, all Keira-Knightley-At-The-Aftermath style, I’ll be able to have some kind of angle of their approach

Wait… why would the widely- beloved makers of a huge franchise want not one but TWO sniffer dogs at a FAN SCREENING for? Why does a company like that FEAR FANS?

Wait… why would the widely- beloved makers of a huge franchise want not one but TWO sniffer dogs at a FAN SCREENING for? Why does a company like that FEAR FANS?

Wait… why would the widely- beloved makers of a huge franchise employ somebody called “Cover it Up”? What are they covering up??

Wait… why would the widely- beloved makers of a huge franchise employ somebody called “Cover it Up”? What are they covering up??

Wow. They’re LITERALLY covering up the entire f**king event so that fans outside can’t take photos of anything inside. What the f**k kind of a55ho1es would do that, and WHY? What does it cost them? What does it risk? Why would YOU DO THIS? … unless you’re a some f**king kind of a55holes. That would explain it.

Wow. They’re LITERALLY covering up the entire f**king event so that fans outside can’t take photos of anything inside. What the f**k kind of a55ho1es would do that, and WHY? What does it cost them? What does it risk? Why would YOU DO THIS? … unless you’re a some f**king kind of a55holes. That would explain it.

And now? They’ve put a sign saying that the Guest Entrance is on our side… meaning that not only will the stars enter by the door furthest from me, but I’ll have fans filing in front of me, blocking views. Just like happened for The Aftermath….. well, farq.

And now? They’ve put a sign saying that the Guest Entrance is on our side… meaning that not only will the stars enter by the door furthest from me, but I’ll have fans filing in front of me, blocking views. Just like happened for The Aftermath….. well, farq.

Even holding my camera high-and-blind can’t penetrate the sign, or clear it. F&amp;&amp;king great. Honestly… I’m going to have to move spots. And so I do.  And mere minutes after I do that, they remove the sign.  But I figure I’m still on the correct side, as the guests will be going on by one door, and the stars will need to briefly face in my (new) direction when they enter by the other door.  And then security decide to shuffle EVERYONE - stars and guests, through the guest door I had been in font of, anyway. Not only have I made a mistake (damnit) but their decision meant that half of the carpet and the door it leads to are never even USED fort his premiere…. which is incomprehensible! And really bad luck for me, because it costs me every good shot I would have gotten even at this subpar event, and I’m about to spend over two hours finding this out.

Even holding my camera high-and-blind can’t penetrate the sign, or clear it. F&&king great. Honestly… I’m going to have to move spots. And so I do.

And mere minutes after I do that, they remove the sign.

But I figure I’m still on the correct side, as the guests will be going on by one door, and the stars will need to briefly face in my (new) direction when they enter by the other door.

And then security decide to shuffle EVERYONE - stars and guests, through the guest door I had been in font of, anyway. Not only have I made a mistake (damnit) but their decision meant that half of the carpet and the door it leads to are never even USED fort his premiere…. which is incomprehensible! And really bad luck for me, because it costs me every good shot I would have gotten even at this subpar event, and I’m about to spend over two hours finding this out.

It begins with optimism. Sure, one of the Russo Brothers (Anthony) walks in without stopping or slowing down, but the other (Joe) stops to sign. He is the only person at this premiere who does so.

It begins with optimism. Sure, one of the Russo Brothers (Anthony) walks in without stopping or slowing down, but the other (Joe) stops to sign. He is the only person at this premiere who does so.

Honestly, I found Infinity War boring, and Civil War remains the only Marvel movie I ever walked out of before the end because I stopped caring. But I think Joe Russo is a nice man, and it’s nice that he signed for fans. (I did love Captain America The Winter Soldier, though)

Honestly, I found Infinity War boring, and Civil War remains the only Marvel movie I ever walked out of before the end because I stopped caring. But I think Joe Russo is a nice man, and it’s nice that he signed for fans. (I did love Captain America The Winter Soldier, though)

Scarlett Johansson, on the other hand, does not stop, does not slow, does not look left, and does not look right as she enters the cinema from her car. And Paul Rudd and Chris Hemsworth? I”m not sure how they got in, but it was not even via the front door.

Scarlett Johansson, on the other hand, does not stop, does not slow, does not look left, and does not look right as she enters the cinema from her car. And Paul Rudd and Chris Hemsworth? I”m not sure how they got in, but it was not even via the front door.

And that’s it. You’d have to be a complete f**king idiot to wait some 30mins for the interviews to finish and the screening to start, and THEN another 45mins for the screenings to finish, and THEN another 30mins or so when the pens aren’t dismantled wondering whether things might change and whether the stars might stop, or sign, or even leave via the front entrance. And of course I’m a complete f* *king idiot, so I stay. And then they start dismantling the interior…..

“And I bet you’re still wondering how we got Rudd and Hemsworth in and out …”

“And I bet you’re still wondering how we got Rudd and Hemsworth in and out …”

“You realise you can’t blame me for what’s happening, because I’m an inanimate object made of cardboard, right?”

“You realise you can’t blame me for what’s happening, because I’m an inanimate object made of cardboard, right?”

About 2hours after walking in, Scarlett Johansson walks out. I think she was even faster in leaving than she was arriving. Oh, and the asshole blocking my shot here? He’s standing in the disabled pen even though he’s not disabled. He just felt like going in because he could and nobody stopped him. You really bring out the best in people, Marvel.

About 2hours after walking in, Scarlett Johansson walks out. I think she was even faster in leaving than she was arriving. Oh, and the asshole blocking my shot here? He’s standing in the disabled pen even though he’s not disabled. He just felt like going in because he could and nobody stopped him. You really bring out the best in people, Marvel.

Paul Rudd. The only shot I have of him that isn’t blurry (he glanced infinitesimally in our direction, almost guiltily, en route to his limo) - shot through darkened glass. He was paused at the door waiting to the limo to arrive, like he was a plane being launched from an aircraft carrier.

Paul Rudd. The only shot I have of him that isn’t blurry (he glanced infinitesimally in our direction, almost guiltily, en route to his limo) - shot through darkened glass. He was paused at the door waiting to the limo to arrive, like he was a plane being launched from an aircraft carrier.

And finally Chris Hemsworth. The only person to look in our direction for any length of time (though it’s not like he stopped or slowed down) - and he’s what I’m calling a fellow Aussie, which is, well.. I’m not quite going to say “nice”, but by the standards of this event… is pretty nice..

And finally Chris Hemsworth. The only person to look in our direction for any length of time (though it’s not like he stopped or slowed down) - and he’s what I’m calling a fellow Aussie, which is, well.. I’m not quite going to say “nice”, but by the standards of this event… is pretty nice..

So… that was that. If I gave the impression that I think it was a good idea for me to attempt to photograph this event, then I’ve gone seriously wrong in the journal!

I’m not going to bother suggesting you follow me on facebook or twitter : this journal is negative even by my cynical standards, and if you like this level of anger, I’d prefer you didn’t follow me (maybe just kinda.. told me to chill or something), and if you don’t then my battle will probably be to stop me from unfollowing me!

But I assure you that’s less hurtful than anything Marvel perpetrated to ‘fans’ who were merely ‘not lucky enough to be privileged’ today.

Final note : just wanna clarify - I don’t blame the stars, or security, for what they decided to do or not do : I’m blaming MARVEL - the company that organised this. THIS is how they decided to promote a movie that will probably make $2billion in box office alone from their….. “fans”. Which included the ones outside, who for the most part just wanted to celebrate the movie being released.

ROFL - somebody wore a JUSTICE LEAGUE t-shirt to the Avengers Endgame event. That’s pretty awesome - kudos, bro!

ROFL - somebody wore a JUSTICE LEAGUE t-shirt to the Avengers Endgame event. That’s pretty awesome - kudos, bro!