28 May 2019 - The 'Good Omens' World Premiere

May 28th, 2019.

Although the mathematics are a bit more dicey than “Just Add Them Up (How Hard Can It Be??)” the number of premieres I’ve attended has slowly and steadily been increasing to the point where the rather implausible number of ‘500’ has ultimately come into reach. And today I reached it. If you take away Baftas, GQs, Oliviers, Theatre Awards and Openings, Fashion Weeks, Book Launches, and even Apple Store Events, what’s left is PREMIERES. And today I reached FIVE HUNDRED!

‘Time to retire’, I hear you ask? Probably not. Here’s how it went down:

Quite honestly, I wouldn’t buy a used car from either of these… It’s ‘Good Omens’!! I read the book in High School, which might either indicate my age or my intellectual prowess (given I’ve done 500 premieres over 10+ years without monetising the hobby, it’s probably a little bit of both)

Quite honestly, I wouldn’t buy a used car from either of these…
It’s ‘Good Omens’!! I read the book in High School, which might either indicate my age or my intellectual prowess (given I’ve done 500 premieres over 10+ years without monetising the hobby, it’s probably a little bit of both)

So here’s my spot : I got wristband #14 for this premiere, but because some 200 wristbands were given out online, the long main edge of the “public” pen stretching along the astroturf leading to the stage wasn’t accessible and I had a SECOND-ROW spot. With wristband #14. Which is to say : I might have experience doing premieres, but it doesn’t count for much, and they’re not getting easier.

So here’s my spot : I got wristband #14 for this premiere, but because some 200 wristbands were given out online, the long main edge of the “public” pen stretching along the astroturf leading to the stage wasn’t accessible and I had a SECOND-ROW spot. With wristband #14. Which is to say : I might have experience doing premieres, but it doesn’t count for much, and they’re not getting easier.

“View’s great from here… don’t know what you’re all complaining about!” The stage isn’t just distant, but everything below a certain height will be taken up by the fans of pens that haven’t been filled yet, and everything above a certain height will be obscured by… erm… TREES, specially brought in for the occasion.

“View’s great from here… don’t know what you’re all complaining about!”
The stage isn’t just distant, but everything below a certain height will be taken up by the fans of pens that haven’t been filled yet, and everything above a certain height will be obscured by… erm… TREES, specially brought in for the occasion.

“Either I just photographed the main stage or I remotely turned on the coffee machine at home.. I have no idea how this works”

“Either I just photographed the main stage or I remotely turned on the coffee machine at home.. I have no idea how this works”

“Did I just hear anyone around here say that they ‘wanted’ John Hamm? He’s MINE, you hear?? MINE!!!”

“Did I just hear anyone around here say that they ‘wanted’ John Hamm? He’s MINE, you hear?? MINE!!!”

“Their signs are confusing, not always correctly spelled, and vaguely religious in a way I’m not comfortable with. Do we really have to let them in?”

“Their signs are confusing, not always correctly spelled, and vaguely religious in a way I’m not comfortable with. Do we really have to let them in?”

“Our Pope is cooler than your Pope. And our holy scriptures are written mainly in emojis and hashtags. Get onboard, y’all”. They sang semi-blasphemous hymns on the green astroturf, but they were marginally quieter and more in tune than the LITERAL religious dude with the loud-hailer in the outside Park area telling us we should think about what we’re doing with our lives.

“Our Pope is cooler than your Pope. And our holy scriptures are written mainly in emojis and hashtags. Get onboard, y’all”. They sang semi-blasphemous hymns on the green astroturf, but they were marginally quieter and more in tune than the LITERAL religious dude with the loud-hailer in the outside Park area telling us we should think about what we’re doing with our lives.

Good news : I only have another 2.10 seconds to worry about what I’ve been doing with my life.

Good news : I only have another 2.10 seconds to worry about what I’ve been doing with my life.

Our first arrival is director Douglas Mackinnon who directed all six episodes of this series. Previously he’s best known for directing the  Sherlock Christmas Special/ finale ‘The Abominable Bride’  - which I managed to photograph a day of filming of back in the day…

Our first arrival is director Douglas Mackinnon who directed all six episodes of this series. Previously he’s best known for directing the Sherlock Christmas Special/ finale ‘The Abominable Bride’ - which I managed to photograph a day of filming of back in the day…

“I can guarantee you I’m not signing that, Ma’am” - it’s John Hamm! I last photographed him last year at the premiere of ‘The Romanoffs’. He plays the Archangel Gabriel in ‘Good Omens’.

“I can guarantee you I’m not signing that, Ma’am” - it’s John Hamm!
I last photographed him last year at the premiere of ‘The Romanoffs’. He plays the Archangel Gabriel in ‘Good Omens’.

“No… I wasn’t in those ‘Naked Gun’ films… you’re thinking of somebody else” Brian Cox’s filmography dates back to the mid-1960s, and includes among (many) other things the role of William Stryker in X-Men2.

“No… I wasn’t in those ‘Naked Gun’ films… you’re thinking of somebody else”
Brian Cox’s filmography dates back to the mid-1960s, and includes among (many) other things the role of William Stryker in X-Men2.

“You can wear your revealing top if you like.. but we have a strict footwear policy at this premiere. The Astroturf carpet requires sneakers” - I was not previously aware of the existence of Mercedes Gower (my fault, not hers, I’m sure) - but she is apparently in this series.

“You can wear your revealing top if you like.. but we have a strict footwear policy at this premiere. The Astroturf carpet requires sneakers” - I was not previously aware of the existence of Mercedes Gower (my fault, not hers, I’m sure) - but she is apparently in this series.

“Yes I was in those Twilight movies. Don’t judge me. Unless you judge me positively, of course” Michael Sheen played some kind of merovingian count in those films, and I’d say he elevated the material by chewing up it, as well as the scenery, in quite a memorable performance. He plays the ‘noble’ Aziraphale in Good Omens.

“Yes I was in those Twilight movies. Don’t judge me. Unless you judge me positively, of course”
Michael Sheen played some kind of merovingian count in those films, and I’d say he elevated the material by chewing up it, as well as the scenery, in quite a memorable performance. He plays the ‘noble’ Aziraphale in Good Omens.

“I like the detail… I’m just depressed that you’re throwing it away after all the effort you went to” Apparently the apples on the trees are real even if the trees themselves are not (I saw them in boxes with hooks/spikes through them in the morning during setup)

“I like the detail… I’m just depressed that you’re throwing it away after all the effort you went to”
Apparently the apples on the trees are real even if the trees themselves are not (I saw them in boxes with hooks/spikes through them in the morning during setup)

David Tennant, former Doctor Who, looks appropriately focussed in view of the fact that dozens of screaming autograph dealers want a piece of him. Or perhaps he’s in character for the role of Crowley, which he plays in Good Omens.

David Tennant, former Doctor Who, looks appropriately focussed in view of the fact that dozens of screaming autograph dealers want a piece of him. Or perhaps he’s in character for the role of Crowley, which he plays in Good Omens.

Over many of the past 499 premieres I’ve used certain stars’ candid expressions to assert that they owe me five dollars. However, for the first time I get the feeling it’s ME who owes David Tennant money. And considerably more than five dollars. Damn… I don’t remember, but he looks pretty adamant about it.

Over many of the past 499 premieres I’ve used certain stars’ candid expressions to assert that they owe me five dollars. However, for the first time I get the feeling it’s ME who owes David Tennant money. And considerably more than five dollars. Damn… I don’t remember, but he looks pretty adamant about it.

“Yes, the dress is structurally sound. I had it signed off by half a dozen engineers before I got here” It’s always worth questioning the pressures motivations of anyone who signs off something, but if Adria Arjona wants to take the risk, apparently at least half a dozen structural engineers, possibly all male, are cool with it.

“Yes, the dress is structurally sound. I had it signed off by half a dozen engineers before I got here”
It’s always worth questioning the pressures motivations of anyone who signs off something, but if Adria Arjona wants to take the risk, apparently at least half a dozen structural engineers, possibly all male, are cool with it.

“So far, so good!” Adria Arjona is previously best known for her role in the sequel “Pacific Rim : Uprising” which was pretty bad, but then she wasn’t wearing anything as well structurally designed in that movie. Just a giant sophisticated mechanical robot with high-tech weaponry.

“So far, so good!”
Adria Arjona is previously best known for her role in the sequel “Pacific Rim : Uprising” which was pretty bad, but then she wasn’t wearing anything as well structurally designed in that movie. Just a giant sophisticated mechanical robot with high-tech weaponry.

Lourdes Faberes plays the role of…. erm… “Pollution” in Good Omens. That lady who wore the garbage bins at the  TV Baftas a few weeks ago  might have done a better job, but I’ll concede Lourdes Faberes looks better in her dress than the other lady did in hers (though that lady’s seagull/dustbin hat was great)

Lourdes Faberes plays the role of…. erm… “Pollution” in Good Omens. That lady who wore the garbage bins at the TV Baftas a few weeks ago might have done a better job, but I’ll concede Lourdes Faberes looks better in her dress than the other lady did in hers (though that lady’s seagull/dustbin hat was great)

The original “Good Omens” was published in 1990, and was written by Neil Gaiman and the late Terry Pratchett - but this premiere does have one “Terry” present, in the form of director Terry Gilliam.

The original “Good Omens” was published in 1990, and was written by Neil Gaiman and the late Terry Pratchett - but this premiere does have one “Terry” present, in the form of director Terry Gilliam.

“That guy out there were the loud hailer was asking you to rethink your life and all you could think was how much you preferred DJ Impact? I … think that’s a problem you might need to work through, bro”

“That guy out there were the loud hailer was asking you to rethink your life and all you could think was how much you preferred DJ Impact? I … think that’s a problem you might need to work through, bro”

It’s Neil Gaiman!! I’ve read Good Omens and American Gods, and was impressed by and felt very inferior after attempting to work through the complexities of his “Sandman” series. Still… I captured him mid-air on a lens with a zoom too big to fit his legs of the top of his hair, so I’m (kind of) winning.

It’s Neil Gaiman!! I’ve read Good Omens and American Gods, and was impressed by and felt very inferior after attempting to work through the complexities of his “Sandman” series. Still… I captured him mid-air on a lens with a zoom too big to fit his legs of the top of his hair, so I’m (kind of) winning.

David Tennant… is kinda/maybe threatening me? About the money I owe him? But for what? (and more importantly, perhaps, how much??)

David Tennant… is kinda/maybe threatening me? About the money I owe him? But for what? (and more importantly, perhaps, how much??)

“Of course if your camera is this wide it’s going to risk a lot of strain on your spine, so be careful” Hmm.. that’s why I wear 2 + 2x0.5 cameras to premieres these days.

“Of course if your camera is this wide it’s going to risk a lot of strain on your spine, so be careful”
Hmm.. that’s why I wear 2 + 2x0.5 cameras to premieres these days.

“Miriam, I told you if you’re going to wear that dress you can’t wear your usual expression” I don’t know who any of these three people are, but apparently I missed three kids from Good Omens at one point. Maybe they just grow up so fast…

“Miriam, I told you if you’re going to wear that dress you can’t wear your usual expression”
I don’t know who any of these three people are, but apparently I missed three kids from Good Omens at one point. Maybe they just grow up so fast…

David Tennant briefly signs, and I just want to say that I am standing in the middle of this view and not one of these hands in the photo are mine. It shouldn’t be possible… but it is. And I’m happy because those hands are protecting me from the possible wrath of David Tennant.

David Tennant briefly signs, and I just want to say that I am standing in the middle of this view and not one of these hands in the photo are mine. It shouldn’t be possible… but it is. And I’m happy because those hands are protecting me from the possible wrath of David Tennant.

I don’t know who this is, but if I let you all know that I’ve just bought a ten gallon hat, that’ll be the sign for you to buy me a tie just like his my birthday. I need it.

I don’t know who this is, but if I let you all know that I’ve just bought a ten gallon hat, that’ll be the sign for you to buy me a tie just like his my birthday. I need it.

“I haven’t had lunch, but I hear they’re giving away popcorn at the screening” Yusuf Gatewood plays the role of “FAMINE” in Good Omens.

“I haven’t had lunch, but I hear they’re giving away popcorn at the screening”
Yusuf Gatewood plays the role of “FAMINE” in Good Omens.

“Guys, I don’t want to alarm you, but I just realised that the back of my hands look NOTHING like the front of my hands.” - I don’t know who this is, but the realisation is real.

“Guys, I don’t want to alarm you, but I just realised that the back of my hands look NOTHING like the front of my hands.” - I don’t know who this is, but the realisation is real.

“I figured it out. Turns out one’s left and one’s right. It’s all okay” - further identification and explanation pending.

“I figured it out. Turns out one’s left and one’s right. It’s all okay”
- further identification and explanation pending.

“Everything’s for sale, Judy. EVERYTHING” Miranda Richardson plays the role of Madame Tracy in ‘Good Omens’ but is possibly best known (albeit not to the imdb) for playing the role of the reporter Rita Skeeter in two Harry Potter films.

“Everything’s for sale, Judy. EVERYTHING”
Miranda Richardson plays the role of Madame Tracy in ‘Good Omens’ but is possibly best known (albeit not to the imdb) for playing the role of the reporter Rita Skeeter in two Harry Potter films.

“I was smiling all throughout The Crying Game. I consider that a blessing” Miranda Richardson was in that movie (1990) as well as something called “Spinning into Butter” and “Puffball : The Devil’s Eyeball” in 2007. She’s also been nominated for two Oscars.. but not for any of those three roles.

“I was smiling all throughout The Crying Game. I consider that a blessing”
Miranda Richardson was in that movie (1990) as well as something called “Spinning into Butter” and “Puffball : The Devil’s Eyeball” in 2007. She’s also been nominated for two Oscars.. but not for any of those three roles.

“Nothing. Just don’t want to be photographed by a mobile phone being held up by somebody we don’t know and can’t see”

“Nothing. Just don’t want to be photographed by a mobile phone being held up by somebody we don’t know and can’t see”

“You realise you’re only getting a fraction of my dress by holding it like that, right?” In case it’s relevant, Adria Arjona plays something/someone called “Anathema Device” in Good Omens.

“You realise you’re only getting a fraction of my dress by holding it like that, right?”
In case it’s relevant, Adria Arjona plays something/someone called “Anathema Device” in Good Omens.

“Just because it’s foreshadowed doesn’t make it a successfully implemented character arc, and only hack writers would claim otherwise!!”. I guess somebody else has finished watching Game of Thrones Season 8, too…

“Just because it’s foreshadowed doesn’t make it a successfully implemented character arc, and only hack writers would claim otherwise!!”.
I guess somebody else has finished watching Game of Thrones Season 8, too…

“Thanks for the compliments, and thanks for under-dressing in comparison to me - I really appreciate it”

“Thanks for the compliments, and thanks for under-dressing in comparison to me - I really appreciate it”

“If you can angle it so that you get those blaspheming nuns in frame, one or both of us might go to hell but it’ll really balance the composition a lot better…”

“If you can angle it so that you get those blaspheming nuns in frame, one or both of us might go to hell but it’ll really balance the composition a lot better…”

So…that was that 500 premieres, second row with wristband #14, Squarespace somehow disabling the ability to use italics and bold font in photo comments (even though the icons are selectable), and I’m up almost two hours past bedtime for a 5am alarm for work tomorrow.

Regrets? Only that I can’t think of anything more fun to do than this, and that’s (a) because it’s still fun, and (b) because I think I have a fairly limited imagination. And because that’s unlikely to change anytime soon…

UNTIL NEXT TIME!

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