25 Apr 2019 - The 'Long Shot' Premiere

April 25th, 2019.

It was just yesterday that the Curzon Mayfair hosted the premiere for the twelve-syllable behemoth “Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil, And Vile”…. and just one day later, it’s two syllables and no road closure for the premiere of a movie starring probably my favourite actress, and a co-star and director I’ve heard of but never previously photographed.

Here’s how it went down:

A regular shot from The Nikon gets processed through my 360-degree Theta editing suite and…. not a bad result. Taken en route to the premiere, once again held not at the self-proclaimed “Home Of Premieres” in Leicester Square, but a cinema that’s outgunned it by 6-2 so far this year : Curzon Mayfair.

A regular shot from The Nikon gets processed through my 360-degree Theta editing suite and…. not a bad result. Taken en route to the premiere, once again held not at the self-proclaimed “Home Of Premieres” in Leicester Square, but a cinema that’s outgunned it by 6-2 so far this year : Curzon Mayfair.

It’s a lot quieter today than yesterday, when the road was closed down and carpeted, and mothers, daughters and grandmothers gathered to cheer the mightiest of all the Efrons. Today, road traffic will literally be able to drive through, blocking all views across the road. That’s where the Dealers are. And hence, where I am NOT.

It’s a lot quieter today than yesterday, when the road was closed down and carpeted, and mothers, daughters and grandmothers gathered to cheer the mightiest of all the Efrons. Today, road traffic will literally be able to drive through, blocking all views across the road. That’s where the Dealers are. And hence, where I am NOT.

If this is garbage truck is being hired by New Line to Run D on Ms Charlize Theron for this premiere, I might almost believe there’s no chance between us, despite her being longterm single and me being… well… let’s just say “between supermodels” at the moment, and not quibble about the who’s and lengths of time we’re talking.

If this is garbage truck is being hired by New Line to Run D on Ms Charlize Theron for this premiere, I might almost believe there’s no chance between us, despite her being longterm single and me being… well… let’s just say “between supermodels” at the moment, and not quibble about the who’s and lengths of time we’re talking.

“I’m betting heavy odds that James Franco shows up at this premiere, along with Seth Rogen. Sure, he has nothing to do with this movie, but then neither do I and I’M here” . It’s flawless reasoning as far as I’m concerned.

“I’m betting heavy odds that James Franco shows up at this premiere, along with Seth Rogen. Sure, he has nothing to do with this movie, but then neither do I and I’M here”.
It’s flawless reasoning as far as I’m concerned.

Man on left :  “I used to have hair like that. They told me it was ill-suited to architecture….”  Erm… sure. That’s my excuse too. Meanwhile : it’s CHARLIZE THERON!

Man on left : “I used to have hair like that. They told me it was ill-suited to architecture….”
Erm… sure. That’s my excuse too. Meanwhile : it’s CHARLIZE THERON!

I photographed Charlize Theron at my very first premiere in London, for    “Hancock” back in 2008   , and as I approach the magic PREMIERE #500, it’s very nice that I can photograph her again….. and honestly none of these thoughts run through my head at all when I’m looking at Charlize Theron.

I photographed Charlize Theron at my very first premiere in London, for “Hancock” back in 2008, and as I approach the magic PREMIERE #500, it’s very nice that I can photograph her again….. and honestly none of these thoughts run through my head at all when I’m looking at Charlize Theron.

It’s not necessarily exactly the expression I was hoping for where eye-contact is concerned, but in the absence of being laughed at by a random Filipino master-chef……  I’m sorry I forgot where that sentence was going……

It’s not necessarily exactly the expression I was hoping for where eye-contact is concerned, but in the absence of being laughed at by a random Filipino master-chef…… I’m sorry I forgot where that sentence was going……

“……. is it wrong that I have nothing to say right now, but am willing to let this sentence run on and on until I think of something?”  - it’s Seth Rogen! I’ve never previously photographed him, and thought he was very good in such movies as Neighbours (the first, not second), Steve Jobs, and even Zack and Miri Make a Porno

“……. is it wrong that I have nothing to say right now, but am willing to let this sentence run on and on until I think of something?” - it’s Seth Rogen! I’ve never previously photographed him, and thought he was very good in such movies as Neighbours (the first, not second), Steve Jobs, and even Zack and Miri Make a Porno

The man at left is director Jonathan Levine - I’ve also never photographed him, and I really liked both the movies “50/50” (which Seth Rogen was also in) and the Zombie Rom-com “Warm Bodies”.

The man at left is director Jonathan Levine - I’ve also never photographed him, and I really liked both the movies “50/50” (which Seth Rogen was also in) and the Zombie Rom-com “Warm Bodies”.

Amazingly, I’m not shooting through Taxis, Minivans and .. I dunno, Tractors at this point. I am, however, briefly using my Pentax for a few wide shots… until it informs me that it’s memory card is full….. without switching automatically to the SD card in the second slot that contains space for 480 more photos, which it is absolutely set to do. Sigh… thanks, Pentax.

Amazingly, I’m not shooting through Taxis, Minivans and .. I dunno, Tractors at this point. I am, however, briefly using my Pentax for a few wide shots… until it informs me that it’s memory card is full….. without switching automatically to the SD card in the second slot that contains space for 480 more photos, which it is absolutely set to do. Sigh… thanks, Pentax.

The new arrival at left is one of the film’s ELEVEN producers (James Weaver)… however I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen are also producers of this film.

The new arrival at left is one of the film’s ELEVEN producers (James Weaver)… however I’d be remiss if I didn’t point out that Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen are also producers of this film.

“Moments ago I had Charlize Theron’s arm entwined in mine…. whatever you’ve got to tell me had better important in comparison…..”  I think if I had my arm entwined in Charlize Theron’s I’d tolerate being informed of Alien Invasions and Zombie Apocalypses, and that’s about it. And even then my first move afterwards would be to grab Charlize Theron….

“Moments ago I had Charlize Theron’s arm entwined in mine…. whatever you’ve got to tell me had better important in comparison…..” I think if I had my arm entwined in Charlize Theron’s I’d tolerate being informed of Alien Invasions and Zombie Apocalypses, and that’s about it. And even then my first move afterwards would be to grab Charlize Theron….

“What’s going on… and does it affect our access to the popcorn stand?”

“What’s going on… and does it affect our access to the popcorn stand?”

“The key to asking a woman out on a date is to ask for ONE…. and then negotiate down from there if you have to. Does that strategy work? Let’s just say Yes., for the sake of keeping our conversation short”  I’m writing this down. It’s good stuff.

“The key to asking a woman out on a date is to ask for ONE…. and then negotiate down from there if you have to. Does that strategy work? Let’s just say Yes., for the sake of keeping our conversation short”
I’m writing this down. It’s good stuff.

So far passing traffic has only been an intermittent problem, but my strategy when Charlize Theron leaves the cinema involves me being willing to run either left or right, use a step-stool I have handy, or push traffic out of the way using my mad Jedi powers, if it turns out I have them.

So far passing traffic has only been an intermittent problem, but my strategy when Charlize Theron leaves the cinema involves me being willing to run either left or right, use a step-stool I have handy, or push traffic out of the way using my mad Jedi powers, if it turns out I have them.

“About a third of you guys are getting me mixed up with Jonah Hill, but that’s okay - he and I have An Agreement. Besides, I do really like Get Him To The Greek and those Jump Street films”

“About a third of you guys are getting me mixed up with Jonah Hill, but that’s okay - he and I have An Agreement. Besides, I do really like Get Him To The Greek and those Jump Street films”

Seth Rogen Poster :  “Just exactly how many Taylor Swift songs does one iPod need??”

Seth Rogen Poster : “Just exactly how many Taylor Swift songs does one iPod need??”

I’ve been trying to avoid explicitly saying that with some luck with focus and exposure, I might actually be able to… well… nail a Long Shot at this premiere. And here, for better or worse, for euphemism or not, it is.

I’ve been trying to avoid explicitly saying that with some luck with focus and exposure, I might actually be able to… well… nail a Long Shot at this premiere. And here, for better or worse, for euphemism or not, it is.

… pretty happy with this one.

… pretty happy with this one.

“It was nice of him to offer me his cowboy hat…. but my stylist would have killed me” … that’s also why I intuitively didn’t offer Charlize Theron the beanie I was wearing. It wouldn’t have worked, style-wise.

“It was nice of him to offer me his cowboy hat…. but my stylist would have killed me”… that’s also why I intuitively didn’t offer Charlize Theron the beanie I was wearing. It wouldn’t have worked, style-wise.

I was a bit sad that Charlize Theron didn’t look in my direction before entering the car, like she did for the Paparazzi to my right…. but the more I look at this shot, the less certain I am that it’s friendly.

I was a bit sad that Charlize Theron didn’t look in my direction before entering the car, like she did for the Paparazzi to my right…. but the more I look at this shot, the less certain I am that it’s friendly.

“Hold on… I’ll get in the car in a moment…”  They say the only thing cooler than hanging around with Charlize Theron is texting your friends that you’re hanging around with Charlize Theron. I’m not entirely sure about this.

“Hold on… I’ll get in the car in a moment…”
They say the only thing cooler than hanging around with Charlize Theron is texting your friends that you’re hanging around with Charlize Theron. I’m not entirely sure about this.

“Dude… why are you texting me? I’m right here behind you….”

“Dude… why are you texting me? I’m right here behind you….”

So… for all the confusion and ambiguity, the waiting and the uncertainty, and the fact that not ONE website even had this premiere listed…. that was that. And if I’m lucky, next Monday, I’ll get to do another one, and add another +1 to the Archive of Premieres.

Until next time!

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