5th Oct 2019 - The BFI LFF Premiere for 'The Report'

October 5th, 2019.

It was another day of two premieres today (yesterday it was ‘The Peanut Butter Falcon’ and ‘Hope Gap’) - though it wasn’t quite as effortless as both premieres were larger today than yesterday. The first was brief, with added zombie content at the bottom of the journal. It was strange.

Here’s how it went down:

We pick up the action after two false starts today (attempting to photograph Michael B Jordan, and attempting to photograph anyone at ‘Abominable’. This is Embankment Garden Cinemas, and if you can find a deckchair you can while about the passing minutes watching the autograph dealers sort out their Adam Driver-themed Star Wars crap.

We pick up the action after two false starts today (attempting to photograph Michael B Jordan, and attempting to photograph anyone at ‘Abominable’. This is Embankment Garden Cinemas, and if you can find a deckchair you can while about the passing minutes watching the autograph dealers sort out their Adam Driver-themed Star Wars crap.

“Well… if they’re not here to see ME, then I don’t want to know who the ARE here to see”

“Well… if they’re not here to see ME, then I don’t want to know who the ARE here to see”

“I hear Adam Driver is really tall. Are you SURE this will get his attention??” ”Yeah, babes. It’s counter-intuitive. That’s why it always works, mostly”

“I hear Adam Driver is really tall. Are you SURE this will get his attention??”
”Yeah, babes. It’s counter-intuitive. That’s why it always works, mostly”

Adam Driver has, against all reports placing him in New York as late as last night, appeared. Meanwhile, Scarlett Johansson, who is in the movie JoJo Rabbit (which has its premiere directly after this one, elsewhere) was also placed in New York, but you’ll just have to click on the link to        The Jojo Rabbit Premiere    to see if she attended (a hint to save you time and bandwidth : she doesn’t)

Adam Driver has, against all reports placing him in New York as late as last night, appeared. Meanwhile, Scarlett Johansson, who is in the movie JoJo Rabbit (which has its premiere directly after this one, elsewhere) was also placed in New York, but you’ll just have to click on the link to The Jojo Rabbit Premiere to see if she attended (a hint to save you time and bandwidth : she doesn’t)

“That stick figure drawing is probably the worst and most anatomically inaccurate bit of fan art I’ve ever seen, and you want me to sign it, implying that I drew it? Not sure, bro….”   - Adam Driver is best known for playing the illogical over-emotional man-child that many people mistakenly summarise as “Complex” in the Star Wars sequel trilogy.  (I should probably clarify that I think he plays the role as well as it’s written… I just don’t think Kylo Ren is as well written as people suggest that character is is)

“That stick figure drawing is probably the worst and most anatomically inaccurate bit of fan art I’ve ever seen, and you want me to sign it, implying that I drew it? Not sure, bro….”
- Adam Driver is best known for playing the illogical over-emotional man-child that many people mistakenly summarise as “Complex” in the Star Wars sequel trilogy. (I should probably clarify that I think he plays the role as well as it’s written… I just don’t think Kylo Ren is as well written as people suggest that character is is)

Adam Driver has smiled in public. I wouldn’t have believed it, but I appear to have photographed it! While I’m not a fan of Star Wars (anymore), I thought he was excellent in the movie ‘Patterson’, he was very good in “Blackkklansman”, and fun in    ‘Logan Lucky’    (where I did at least photograph him). So things are fine between us, I would say.

Adam Driver has smiled in public. I wouldn’t have believed it, but I appear to have photographed it! While I’m not a fan of Star Wars (anymore), I thought he was excellent in the movie ‘Patterson’, he was very good in “Blackkklansman”, and fun in ‘Logan Lucky’ (where I did at least photograph him). So things are fine between us, I would say.

“I really don’t think this is a valid contract. For one thing, it spells the word “Contract” wrong…”

“I really don’t think this is a valid contract. For one thing, it spells the word “Contract” wrong…”

Adam Driver’s smile might best be described as ‘indulgent’. He elected not to be interviewed, choosing instead to head inside the Embankment Garden Cinema.

Adam Driver’s smile might best be described as ‘indulgent’. He elected not to be interviewed, choosing instead to head inside the Embankment Garden Cinema.

“You want him to come out and do an interview? I’m not going to ask him to come out. Have you seen him? He’s huge! Also he likes me, and doesn’t know you. What’s in it for me?”  Scott Z. Burns is probably better known as a writer than director (though he has directed) - he wrote the screenplays for ‘The Bourne Ultimatum’ and (say) ‘The Mercy’, among other things.

“You want him to come out and do an interview? I’m not going to ask him to come out. Have you seen him? He’s huge! Also he likes me, and doesn’t know you. What’s in it for me?”
Scott Z. Burns is probably better known as a writer than director (though he has directed) - he wrote the screenplays for ‘The Bourne Ultimatum’ and (say) ‘The Mercy’, among other things.

“Please sign this you just GOTTA SIGN THIS!!!!” ”But that’s Star Wars stuff. I was neve in Star Wars, or associated with it” ”It’s gone beyond that now… PLEASE SIGN! IT’s important”  The dealer content of the pens at this premiere was basically 100%

“Please sign this you just GOTTA SIGN THIS!!!!”
”But that’s Star Wars stuff. I was neve in Star Wars, or associated with it”
”It’s gone beyond that now… PLEASE SIGN! IT’s important”

The dealer content of the pens at this premiere was basically 100%

I last photographed the newly arrived Annette Benning (who is in this movie) yesterday, at    the premiere of “Hope Gap”    (which she’s also in). The background of this image isn’t great, and the foreground blur of the photographers I’m standing behind is also not ideal.. but as stated, the pens were entirely filled with autograph dealers.

I last photographed the newly arrived Annette Benning (who is in this movie) yesterday, at the premiere of “Hope Gap” (which she’s also in). The background of this image isn’t great, and the foreground blur of the photographers I’m standing behind is also not ideal.. but as stated, the pens were entirely filled with autograph dealers.

Although I take a camera with me more or less everywhere I go, I kind of feel that the commentary I write in journals is an indelible part of the overall “premiere photography” thing I do. Which is a long way of saying : there’s not much of a narrative you can weave when the background is a wall. That’s why I prefer to shoot from a public pen and not from a media pen. …. and more than anything, I feel Annette Benning understands this.

Although I take a camera with me more or less everywhere I go, I kind of feel that the commentary I write in journals is an indelible part of the overall “premiere photography” thing I do. Which is a long way of saying : there’s not much of a narrative you can weave when the background is a wall. That’s why I prefer to shoot from a public pen and not from a media pen. …. and more than anything, I feel Annette Benning understands this.

“I asked him to teach me to use a lightsaber in exchange for me telling him my story, but he declined. Politely, I should add”  - Daniel J. Jones is the real life Daniel J. Jones that Adam Driver plays in the film.

“I asked him to teach me to use a lightsaber in exchange for me telling him my story, but he declined. Politely, I should add” - Daniel J. Jones is the real life Daniel J. Jones that Adam Driver plays in the film.

“Wait… Adam Driver is in STAR WARS films? I had no idea! I just asked him to teach me lightsaber skills because I’m interested in learning them!”

“Wait… Adam Driver is in STAR WARS films? I had no idea! I just asked him to teach me lightsaber skills because I’m interested in learning them!”

“He’s a very attractive man, sure…. but it shouldn’t surprise you when I say that I’m not John Hamm”  Jennife Fox is a producer of the film and not (say) the actor John Hamm, which the unreliable source MediaEye claimed was going to attend this event.

“He’s a very attractive man, sure…. but it shouldn’t surprise you when I say that I’m not John Hamm”
Jennife Fox is a producer of the film and not (say) the actor John Hamm, which the unreliable source MediaEye claimed was going to attend this event.

“Wait! WAIT! I can see something!!” ”Is it the piece of paper you’re holding in front of your eyes?” ”Well…. yes”

“Wait! WAIT! I can see something!!”
”Is it the piece of paper you’re holding in front of your eyes?”
”Well…. yes”

Adam Driver returns, looking considerably cheered by his absence from this premiere, however temporary it was.

Adam Driver returns, looking considerably cheered by his absence from this premiere, however temporary it was.

“Fine. But only because you enjoyed ‘Paterson’ so much”  I was actually induced on what amounted to near-false-pretenses to watch that film blindly on faith without even knowing its title or subject or story… but yeah, surprisingly I really liked it.

“Fine. But only because you enjoyed ‘Paterson’ so much”
I was actually induced on what amounted to near-false-pretenses to watch that film blindly on faith without even knowing its title or subject or story… but yeah, surprisingly I really liked it.

“Using two fingers to point at the thing I can’t see isn’t going to do more than using just one….”

“Using two fingers to point at the thing I can’t see isn’t going to do more than using just one….”

“I’m not actually this short, and neither is he as tall as he appears. They’ve done a weird thing with this floor, making it all…. level… and stuff”

“I’m not actually this short, and neither is he as tall as he appears. They’ve done a weird thing with this floor, making it all…. level… and stuff”

“So do you all have premiere blogs? How do you differentiate each other?”

“So do you all have premiere blogs? How do you differentiate each other?”

And after (or, technically, BEFORE) that…. there were even some Zombies nearby…..

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But I have no explanation for this whatsoever….

“There’s something even weirder happening over there…. if you can believe it”

“There’s something even weirder happening over there…. if you can believe it”

So…. that was that. And I still had another premiere to go to - for Jojo Rabbit at Leicester Square, perchance to (just) beat the pen lockdown time of 4:30pm, approximately <checks watch> 10 minutes from now, and approximately <checks map> 12 minutes away.

Until Then!

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