12 Mar 2019 - 'The White Crow' UK Premiere

March 12th, 2019.

For what I think is only the third time ever, I got a chance to go to a SECOND premiere for a movie that already had a FIRST premiere. In this case, the movie ‘The White Crow’ had a BFI London Film Festival Premiere last October, but today it had its (official?) UK Premiere. The other two times something like this has happened were with “A Little Chaos” and “A Little Chaos” (nb. the second premiere was the better one); and “Their Finest” and “Their Finest” (nb. in that case the first one was the better one).

As for today? Anyone’s guess. Here’s how it went down:

A rare BLACK carpet premiere, and it’s for a movie called “White Crow”. It’s so overt it’s basically covert.

A rare BLACK carpet premiere, and it’s for a movie called “White Crow”. It’s so overt it’s basically covert.

“F**k it. I’m putting a hard border right here. Let’s see anyone try to stop me.”

“F**k it. I’m putting a hard border right here. Let’s see anyone try to stop me.”

The list of attendees for this premiere is quite long and wide, covering every combination of cast, crew, reality TV stars, chefs, choreographers… and Stanley Tucci !

The list of attendees for this premiere is quite long and wide, covering every combination of cast, crew, reality TV stars, chefs, choreographers… and Stanley Tucci !

“I wanna say you’re all too young to appreciate how this scarf recalls the signal test patterns of early televisions… but I’m also too young. So make of it what you will”.  I’m just going to stand here and feel old.

“I wanna say you’re all too young to appreciate how this scarf recalls the signal test patterns of early televisions… but I’m also too young. So make of it what you will”. I’m just going to stand here and feel old.

“It took two different identical focus groups to decide on the optimum number of undone buttons for my shirt. I still think they lowballed by one or two, but nonetheless I accept the decision.”  Oleg Ivenko stars as the titular white crow Rudolf Nureyev in the film.

“It took two different identical focus groups to decide on the optimum number of undone buttons for my shirt. I still think they lowballed by one or two, but nonetheless I accept the decision.”
Oleg Ivenko stars as the titular white crow Rudolf Nureyev in the film.

“Your politicians are voting on a deal to leave the EU and all anyone wants to ask me is about the shoes I’m wearing. Good call - I was hoping they’d be controversial”

“Your politicians are voting on a deal to leave the EU and all anyone wants to ask me is about the shoes I’m wearing. Good call - I was hoping they’d be controversial”

“I’m equal parts relieved and devastated that in my discreet position he doesn’t even notice me…”

“I’m equal parts relieved and devastated that in my discreet position he doesn’t even notice me…”

Oleg Ivenko looks so cool in this picture that I had to entirely remove the reflective bald head of the dude behind him rather than risk it being a distraction. Given my lamentable lack of hair myself, I don’t really feel entirely comfortable with my decision, but damnit I made that call.

Oleg Ivenko looks so cool in this picture that I had to entirely remove the reflective bald head of the dude behind him rather than risk it being a distraction. Given my lamentable lack of hair myself, I don’t really feel entirely comfortable with my decision, but damnit I made that call.

I’m so taken aback by screenwiter David Hare’s expression I can’t actually find a comment to go with it. I mean… I’m wearing one of my better beanies today, and my jacket and jumper combination is quite adequate under the circumstances.

I’m so taken aback by screenwiter David Hare’s expression I can’t actually find a comment to go with it. I mean… I’m wearing one of my better beanies today, and my jacket and jumper combination is quite adequate under the circumstances.

“The only thumbs-up sign I’ve seen that’s more casual than this one is the one Tom Hardy gives in Mad Max Fury Road and I’m deliberately choosing not to contest its superiority. I’m sorry what was the question again?”

“The only thumbs-up sign I’ve seen that’s more casual than this one is the one Tom Hardy gives in Mad Max Fury Road and I’m deliberately choosing not to contest its superiority. I’m sorry what was the question again?”

“Okay, I’ll sign. But if I ever see this on ebay, then I’m telling everyone that I was never in ‘Shakespeare in Love’ - that was my brother”  - Ralph Fiennes both directs and stars in this movie.

“Okay, I’ll sign. But if I ever see this on ebay, then I’m telling everyone that I was never in ‘Shakespeare in Love’ - that was my brother” - Ralph Fiennes both directs and stars in this movie.

“The ‘t’ at the end of ‘Voldermort’ is a silent ‘t’. I’m pretty sure JK confirmed that years ago….”

“The ‘t’ at the end of ‘Voldermort’ is a silent ‘t’. I’m pretty sure JK confirmed that years ago….”

“I’m still looking at you… yes, you with that poster I signed”  Ralph Fiennes is arguably best known for being Voldemort in the Harry Potter films…  and he ‘s also the current incarnation of “M” in the Daniel Craig James Bond films.

“I’m still looking at you… yes, you with that poster I signed”
Ralph Fiennes is arguably best known for being Voldemort in the Harry Potter films… and he ‘s also the current incarnation of “M” in the Daniel Craig James Bond films.

He’s Ralph Fiennes… and you are not. (Unless you actually are Ralph Fiennes, in which case  Welcome to my website, Sir ).

He’s Ralph Fiennes… and you are not. (Unless you actually are Ralph Fiennes, in which case Welcome to my website, Sir).

“This is how all the cool kids wear watches, now that they put the time on mobile phones..”  Special guest at this premiere : Helena Bonham Carter, whose connection with Ralph Fiennes (outside of the possibility that they’re actually friends) is that she was also a death-eater under Voldemort as Bellatrix Lestrange in the Harry Potter films.

“This is how all the cool kids wear watches, now that they put the time on mobile phones..”
Special guest at this premiere : Helena Bonham Carter, whose connection with Ralph Fiennes (outside of the possibility that they’re actually friends) is that she was also a death-eater under Voldemort as Bellatrix Lestrange in the Harry Potter films.

“So you think the Death Eaters lost?  Ha! You obviously haven’t looked too closely at parliament in this country”

“So you think the Death Eaters lost? Ha! You obviously haven’t looked too closely at parliament in this country”

“That’s the smartest question I’ve been asked all day. And the answer is YES. Yes I do want to go inside and have a nice warm tea”

“That’s the smartest question I’ve been asked all day. And the answer is YES. Yes I do want to go inside and have a nice warm tea”

I don’t know who this is, but I feel I need to admit that I don’t wear my beanies quite this stylishly.

I don’t know who this is, but I feel I need to admit that I don’t wear my beanies quite this stylishly.

“You’re right. We absolutely should catch up and talk about beanies and stuff.”  I’m busy most of this week, but sometime late-next week might work?

“You’re right. We absolutely should catch up and talk about beanies and stuff.”
I’m busy most of this week, but sometime late-next week might work?

“And now that I put my glasses back on, maybe people will stop mistaking me for a superhero…”  Stanley Tucci’s superhero credentials are that his character developed the serum that turned Chris Evans into Captain America.

“And now that I put my glasses back on, maybe people will stop mistaking me for a superhero…”
Stanley Tucci’s superhero credentials are that his character developed the serum that turned Chris Evans into Captain America.

“So you kids are holding phones like this to take selfies now? Okay… I’ll make sure to tell all my friends”

“So you kids are holding phones like this to take selfies now? Okay… I’ll make sure to tell all my friends”

It’s Liam Neeson! Again, outside of the possibility that he’s friends with Ralph Fiennes, they both starred in the unlikely duo of “Schindler’s List” and “The Lego Movie” together. (Neeson is the voice of Good Cop/Bad Cop; while Fiennes is the voice of Lego Batman’s butler Aflred)

It’s Liam Neeson! Again, outside of the possibility that he’s friends with Ralph Fiennes, they both starred in the unlikely duo of “Schindler’s List” and “The Lego Movie” together. (Neeson is the voice of Good Cop/Bad Cop; while Fiennes is the voice of Lego Batman’s butler Aflred)

“I was in a Star Wars? I have no idea what you’re talking about…”

“I was in a Star Wars? I have no idea what you’re talking about…”

Some days you get within arm’s length of Liam Neeson… and sometimes your camera’s lens gets even closer. Eye contact not guaranteed, though.

Some days you get within arm’s length of Liam Neeson… and sometimes your camera’s lens gets even closer. Eye contact not guaranteed, though.

Excitingly, now that I know what Eve Delf looks like, it should be slightly easier to answer the question of “who is Eve Delf?”.

Excitingly, now that I know what Eve Delf looks like, it should be slightly easier to answer the question of “who is Eve Delf?”.

“I’m not saying I doubt that you guys are the kind of people who have ever watched Schindler’s List… but I am saying that the complex messages of The Lego Movie might prove somewhat beyond several of you”

“I’m not saying I doubt that you guys are the kind of people who have ever watched Schindler’s List… but I am saying that the complex messages of The Lego Movie might prove somewhat beyond several of you”

“It’s a pretty sweet jacket, yes. And it’s telling me I don’t have to sign autographs for you guys”  The third of three people from the Class Of Harry Potter : it’s Rhys Ifans - he played Luna Lovegood’s dad / The Minister of Magic in the films.

“It’s a pretty sweet jacket, yes. And it’s telling me I don’t have to sign autographs for you guys”
The third of three people from the Class Of Harry Potter : it’s Rhys Ifans - he played Luna Lovegood’s dad / The Minister of Magic in the films.

Rhys Ifans’ imdb credits include such exciting roles as the villain in the Andrew Garfield Amazing Spider-Man movie, a DJ / Rock God in The Boat That Rocked, and the Earl of Oxford in the Shakespeare conspiracy theory movie “Anonymous”… as well as arguably still his most famous role as Hugh Grant’s flatmate in “Notting Hill”

Rhys Ifans’ imdb credits include such exciting roles as the villain in the Andrew Garfield Amazing Spider-Man movie, a DJ / Rock God in The Boat That Rocked, and the Earl of Oxford in the Shakespeare conspiracy theory movie “Anonymous”… as well as arguably still his most famous role as Hugh Grant’s flatmate in “Notting Hill”

“Stop looking at me… especially when my hand is quite obviously answering the question”

“Stop looking at me… especially when my hand is quite obviously answering the question”

“The T-shirt? It’s barely keeping me warm, but it’s not for sale”  - Wayne Sleep is (I believe) a dancer/choreographer.

“The T-shirt? It’s barely keeping me warm, but it’s not for sale” - Wayne Sleep is (I believe) a dancer/choreographer.

“I saw the pretty girl do a pose that went a bit like this and it worked for her… but I probably should have practiced it more…”  - Louis Hofmann is also in this film.

“I saw the pretty girl do a pose that went a bit like this and it worked for her… but I probably should have practiced it more…” - Louis Hofmann is also in this film.

“Okay, I’m done answering questions. Now hand me that sharpie and let me draw a moustache and glasses on every poster featuring Oleg… I don’t care how childish it is, I’ve been wanting to do it all evening.”

“Okay, I’m done answering questions. Now hand me that sharpie and let me draw a moustache and glasses on every poster featuring Oleg… I don’t care how childish it is, I’ve been wanting to do it all evening.”

So.. .that was that. An enjoyable enough chilly evening spent in a small, not-overcrowded pen outside the Curzon Mayfair. Meanwhile, in a country where asking a population that voted 52% to 48% to leave the EU to reconsider that vote over two years later would be a ‘betrayal of Democracy’, a government that was defeated something like 69% to 31% on their Brexit deal in January was allowed to ask substantively the same question in Parliament again, and the result was another large defeat albeit with a shift of 10% just two months later. Ask me again how Democracy works… I forget.

In any event, it’s +1 for The Archive of Premieres… and is that what REALLY matters? (It is)

Until next time!

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