29 Apr 2019 - The 'Tolkien' UK Premiere

April 29th, 2019.

For the third time in less than a week, the Curzon Mayfair in London got one over on Leicester Square, the self-proclaimed ‘Home of Premieres’, holding the premiere of the biopic for everyone’s favourite JRR : ‘Tolkien’!

Here’s how it went down:

For the first time in quite some time, I’m INSIDE a premiere rather than outside it. What changed? Well… last premiere, security weren’t just helping people to steps with a view of the premiere, happily allowing people to take photos over the barriers and even literally advising me on where a good shot was to be had.. but this time I/we were told it was a Strictly Private Event - wristband… or keep on walking. What could cause this? Well.. this is a Fox Searchlight picture… and they?    Are owned by Disney   .

For the first time in quite some time, I’m INSIDE a premiere rather than outside it. What changed? Well… last premiere, security weren’t just helping people to steps with a view of the premiere, happily allowing people to take photos over the barriers and even literally advising me on where a good shot was to be had.. but this time I/we were told it was a Strictly Private Event - wristband… or keep on walking. What could cause this? Well.. this is a Fox Searchlight picture… and they? Are owned by Disney.

“So many people… and they’re so much younger and more talented than I am…. and I’m TIRED of it”  Yes, it’s frustrating, but we all have our place in the happy ecosystem of movies - some of us are Dealers, some Cave Smearers, some journalists… and others just have little else to occupy ourselves with.

“So many people… and they’re so much younger and more talented than I am…. and I’m TIRED of it”
Yes, it’s frustrating, but we all have our place in the happy ecosystem of movies - some of us are Dealers, some Cave Smearers, some journalists… and others just have little else to occupy ourselves with.

“Oh, yeah. With the new AI they’re building into products I barely even need to point the camera anymore. I can just stand here and…. wait, please don’t tell my boss. I NEED THIS JOB!!”

“Oh, yeah. With the new AI they’re building into products I barely even need to point the camera anymore. I can just stand here and…. wait, please don’t tell my boss. I NEED THIS JOB!!”

“Don’t knock it… it’s a comfortable way to travel…”   Ian Holm played Bilbo Baggins in the Peter Jackson-directed Lord of the Rings Trilogy from 2001-2003 (and had a couple of flash-forward scenes in The Hobbit too)

“Don’t knock it… it’s a comfortable way to travel…”
Ian Holm played Bilbo Baggins in the Peter Jackson-directed Lord of the Rings Trilogy from 2001-2003 (and had a couple of flash-forward scenes in The Hobbit too)

“No eye-contact? Seriously, bro?”

“No eye-contact? Seriously, bro?”

“The photographers took their shots, and now I’m nothing to them… I’m trying not to take this very personally, but it’s hard…”  Adam Bregman plays Geoffrey Bache Smith, a wartime poet in the movie

“The photographers took their shots, and now I’m nothing to them… I’m trying not to take this very personally, but it’s hard…”
Adam Bregman plays Geoffrey Bache Smith, a wartime poet in the movie

“Hold on - I wanna know how he does this trick… it’s gotta be more than just sleight-of-hand”  Ty Tennant, Son of past Dr Who David, plays Young Christopher Wiseman in the movie. And sadly for my feelings of being young and contemporary, I’ve subsequently photographed the actor who plays the older Young Christopher Wiseman …. and he looks disarmingly young, too.

“Hold on - I wanna know how he does this trick… it’s gotta be more than just sleight-of-hand”
Ty Tennant, Son of past Dr Who David, plays Young Christopher Wiseman in the movie. And sadly for my feelings of being young and contemporary, I’ve subsequently photographed the actor who plays the older Young Christopher Wiseman …. and he looks disarmingly young, too.

“If your camera’s any good, this shirt should look a lot more awesome than if it’s some crap camera”  Owing to miscalculation of the distances I figured I’d be shooting at today, my photography is mainly subject to the tender mercies of my Pentax, and its slightly longer zoom and half-the-Nikon’s framerate, and autofocus based on the ancient Babylonian lunar calendar.

“If your camera’s any good, this shirt should look a lot more awesome than if it’s some crap camera”
Owing to miscalculation of the distances I figured I’d be shooting at today, my photography is mainly subject to the tender mercies of my Pentax, and its slightly longer zoom and half-the-Nikon’s framerate, and autofocus based on the ancient Babylonian lunar calendar.

“Yes, I can see you’ve taken a photo of my son. I have also taken photos of him…. except I’m his Dad, which makes what you’re doing fairly considerably more creepy, if you think about it…”  Damnit, after a mere 496 premieres. I may now have to rethink what it is that I do from a moral standpoint.

“Yes, I can see you’ve taken a photo of my son. I have also taken photos of him…. except I’m his Dad, which makes what you’re doing fairly considerably more creepy, if you think about it…”
Damnit, after a mere 496 premieres. I may now have to rethink what it is that I do from a moral standpoint.

“You want me to sign that as the name of the character from the movie I was in? If it’s the one I think you’re thinking of… I’d really not”  - Craig Roberts was excellent in the 2010 movie “Submarine”, but the name of his character in the 2014 movie “Neighbors” is probably best not uttered on this website… check out    imdb   .

“You want me to sign that as the name of the character from the movie I was in? If it’s the one I think you’re thinking of… I’d really not” - Craig Roberts was excellent in the 2010 movie “Submarine”, but the name of his character in the 2014 movie “Neighbors” is probably best not uttered on this website… check out imdb.

“I’ll leave you to figure out my nationality from my country of birth, country I’m from, my name and my parents’ origin countries”  - Dome Karukoski is the director of this movie, and since my country of birth, citizenship, residency and abode are all different… it can be fun, even if not easy….

“I’ll leave you to figure out my nationality from my country of birth, country I’m from, my name and my parents’ origin countries” - Dome Karukoski is the director of this movie, and since my country of birth, citizenship, residency and abode are all different… it can be fun, even if not easy….

I was fairly confident in suggesting that I’ve never previously heard of or seen Genevieve O'Reilly , but it turns out that she played Mon Mothma in    Star Wars Episode III    and again in    Rogue One   , Tarzan’s mother in ‘   Legend of Tarzan   ’, and she was in ‘   The Kid Who Would Be King   ’. And unless I’m told otherwise, I didn’t photograph her at ANY of those premieres.

I was fairly confident in suggesting that I’ve never previously heard of or seen Genevieve O'Reilly , but it turns out that she played Mon Mothma in Star Wars Episode III and again in Rogue One, Tarzan’s mother in ‘Legend of Tarzan’, and she was in ‘The Kid Who Would Be King’. And unless I’m told otherwise, I didn’t photograph her at ANY of those premieres.

At this distance, the pinstripes on Nicholas Hoult’s suit are a very useful baseline for contrast-detect autofocus systems. Unfortunately, my Pentax’s method is the more arcane and esoteric “Phase Shift”, which seems to be based mostly on computational coin tossing. Still, it worked here.

At this distance, the pinstripes on Nicholas Hoult’s suit are a very useful baseline for contrast-detect autofocus systems. Unfortunately, my Pentax’s method is the more arcane and esoteric “Phase Shift”, which seems to be based mostly on computational coin tossing. Still, it worked here.

“The dress with the heart-shaped front? So very last week!”  - Indeed, I last photographed Lily Collins at the    ‘Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile’ premiere    at this very cinema last week.

“The dress with the heart-shaped front? So very last week!” - Indeed, I last photographed Lily Collins at the ‘Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile’ premiere at this very cinema last week.

“… and I suppose all of you want some combination of Signature, Selfie, or Both from me? Well, what about Me? What about what I NEED?”  - true to her pleasant nature, Lily Collins did not demand anybody’s autograph or a photo with her in return for her generosity.

“… and I suppose all of you want some combination of Signature, Selfie, or Both from me? Well, what about Me? What about what I NEED?” - true to her pleasant nature, Lily Collins did not demand anybody’s autograph or a photo with her in return for her generosity.

“Whatever else I know, it’s that JRR Tolkien didn’t wear ties when he was my age. Or at least as certain as I’m able without further research, which at present I am unwilling to do because it sounds boring”  Harry Gilby plays the young JRR Tolkien in the movie.

“Whatever else I know, it’s that JRR Tolkien didn’t wear ties when he was my age. Or at least as certain as I’m able without further research, which at present I am unwilling to do because it sounds boring”
Harry Gilby plays the young JRR Tolkien in the movie.

“How did you know I was in that movie? What the hell is an imdb? How did you know I’d even be here this evening? What, in other words, is going on??”  Apparently Lily Collins is still best known on imdb for being in the ‘Mortal Instruments’ movie… but I first saw in the fun Snow-White inspired movie ‘Mirror, Mirror’ with Julia Roberts.

“How did you know I was in that movie? What the hell is an imdb? How did you know I’d even be here this evening? What, in other words, is going on??” Apparently Lily Collins is still best known on imdb for being in the ‘Mortal Instruments’ movie… but I first saw in the fun Snow-White inspired movie ‘Mirror, Mirror’ with Julia Roberts.

“I could sign that… but legally and for reasons I’m not going to go into, I will not”.  Some days you want to see what’s on the other side of that piece of paper… other days you probably don’t.

“I could sign that… but legally and for reasons I’m not going to go into, I will not”. Some days you want to see what’s on the other side of that piece of paper… other days you probably don’t.

Nicholas Hoult is best known for playing the role of warboy Nux in the brilliant Mad Max : Fury Road, but he’s also known for playing the younger ‘Beast’ in the X-Men series of films.

Nicholas Hoult is best known for playing the role of warboy Nux in the brilliant Mad Max : Fury Road, but he’s also known for playing the younger ‘Beast’ in the X-Men series of films.

“Hey, hey, now. I’m an actress. I don’t need to be told where to stand by anyone… except maybe a director or photographer”

“Hey, hey, now. I’m an actress. I don’t need to be told where to stand by anyone… except maybe a director or photographer”

“The shirt I’m wearing under this is possibly the greatest feat of seamstressing skill this country has seen in decades… but there’s a slight breeze, you understand.”  Patrick Gibson is also in this movie, whose cast is turning this into a journal totally inconsistent with me getting this journal done any time soon.

“The shirt I’m wearing under this is possibly the greatest feat of seamstressing skill this country has seen in decades… but there’s a slight breeze, you understand.”
Patrick Gibson is also in this movie, whose cast is turning this into a journal totally inconsistent with me getting this journal done any time soon.

“I heartily endorse this product, service, blog or whatever!!”   Albie Marber plays someone or something called ‘young robert’ in this movie.

“I heartily endorse this product, service, blog or whatever!!”
Albie Marber plays someone or something called ‘young robert’ in this movie.

“I actually prefer my right shoulder, but since you’re all so set in your ways…”

“I actually prefer my right shoulder, but since you’re all so set in your ways…”

“Right shoulder… I know, right??”

“Right shoulder… I know, right??”

Tom Glynn-Carney’s other big movie credit is Christopher Nolan’s “Dunkirk”. And if that’s not enough to win a staring contest… then, well, he’s still been in a Christopher Nolan movie.

Tom Glynn-Carney’s other big movie credit is Christopher Nolan’s “Dunkirk”. And if that’s not enough to win a staring contest… then, well, he’s still been in a Christopher Nolan movie.

A single mobile phone is raised above the parapet, and I’m guessing that the same security staff (who supported, nay encouraged photography of this fashion a week ago) probably tasered this poor person and dragged them to some kind of non-extradition black-site. All Hail Disney.

A single mobile phone is raised above the parapet, and I’m guessing that the same security staff (who supported, nay encouraged photography of this fashion a week ago) probably tasered this poor person and dragged them to some kind of non-extradition black-site. All Hail Disney.

“We don’t know what it is, or what is’ made of. I mean… it’s probably a red carpet, but this one’s green so we’re wary of it, is all I’m saying”

“We don’t know what it is, or what is’ made of. I mean… it’s probably a red carpet, but this one’s green so we’re wary of it, is all I’m saying”

Lily Collins: “ ‘What was Zac Efron like to work with?’… Why is everyone asking me that?” Nicholas Hoult : ”Okay, then… what was    I    like to work with?” Lily Collins : ”Zac was charming, obviously…”

Lily Collins: “ ‘What was Zac Efron like to work with?’… Why is everyone asking me that?”
Nicholas Hoult : ”Okay, then… what was
I like to work with?”
Lily Collins : ”Zac was charming, obviously…”

“Well, yes, obviously they considered turning his biopic into a trilogy….”

“Well, yes, obviously they considered turning his biopic into a trilogy….”

“I don’t really want to head to the Convention circuit yet…”  - Anthony Boyle’s rather lengthy imdb.com credits include an episode of Game of Thrones as a guard of Ramsay Bolton.

“I don’t really want to head to the Convention circuit yet…” - Anthony Boyle’s rather lengthy imdb.com credits include an episode of Game of Thrones as a guard of Ramsay Bolton.

“The essence of this selfie is that you’re not in it… I hope you appreciate it’s part of my Art. Do you want your phone back, by the way?”

“The essence of this selfie is that you’re not in it… I hope you appreciate it’s part of my Art. Do you want your phone back, by the way?”

“The suit’s not for sale. Also, the guy behind me asked if he could have it. Yes, he’s far too big for it to fit him, but do you want to be the one to try telling him that?”

“The suit’s not for sale. Also, the guy behind me asked if he could have it. Yes, he’s far too big for it to fit him, but do you want to be the one to try telling him that?”

“What was ‘he’ like to work with? Have you seen the cast list? - you’re going to have to be more specific”

“What was ‘he’ like to work with? Have you seen the cast list? - you’re going to have to be more specific”

“Okay… that’s enough. Now just promise me that you’re not going to put this journal anywhere near any anti-Disney rants. Because if they bought Fox, they can buy us all, and quite frankly I want to keep on their good side” . Well, if Disney want to buy this website, all they need to do is put a “1” on a cheque and just keep adding zeroes til I tell them to stop

“Okay… that’s enough. Now just promise me that you’re not going to put this journal anywhere near any anti-Disney rants. Because if they bought Fox, they can buy us all, and quite frankly I want to keep on their good side”.
Well, if Disney want to buy this website, all they need to do is put a “1” on a cheque and just keep adding zeroes til I tell them to stop

So… that was that, and I’m tired now…. so Until Next time!

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