2016 - Trooping the Colour

June 11th, 2016.

Note : technically 'trooping the colour' refers to a larger event that involves The Queen inspecting her troops. You need to apply for a lottery to have a chance of viewing that inspection. However, just like many events, you can line the route and watch it all go past to and from Buckingham Palace...

Up until today, I'd successfully managed to convince myself that Trooping the Colour was the kind of thing I didn't need to photograph. Which is weird, since I can be convinced to photograph pretty much anything, including many things considerably smaller. This is an event that involves police, army, guards, (probably) snipers, horses, lancaster bombers, and even a little old lady wearing neon green.

Here's how it went down:

Forgetting that it's before 7am, this is quieter than I've ever seen Buckingham palace. I guess The Queen has given strict instructions to keep things the f**k quiet 'cause it's a Saturday morning, and I don't care how many commoners are outside and why....

Forgetting that it's before 7am, this is quieter than I've ever seen Buckingham palace. I guess The Queen has given strict instructions to keep things the f**k quiet 'cause it's a Saturday morning, and I don't care how many commoners are outside and why....

"I think we could run a wind turbine off this flag...." Curious fact : I'm given to understand when you see the Union Jack flying above Buckingham Palace, that means the Queen is *not* in residence. If it's this flag - then either she is, or she's on her way.

"I think we could run a wind turbine off this flag...." Curious fact : I'm given to understand when you see the Union Jack flying above Buckingham Palace, that means the Queen is *not* in residence. If it's this flag - then either she is, or she's on her way.

"The bell's too heavy and it's too analogue. From now on, all us town criers are using this App...."

"The bell's too heavy and it's too analogue. From now on, all us town criers are using this App...."

"Us? Monarchists? Nah... we just like any excuse to dress up like this. We'll be doing this tomorrow as well..."

"Us? Monarchists? Nah... we just like any excuse to dress up like this. We'll be doing this tomorrow as well..."

"With these lenses I'd prefer to be about a kilometre away, otherwise it's a bit too close..."

"With these lenses I'd prefer to be about a kilometre away, otherwise it's a bit too close..."

"This is really complicated equipment and I'm only seven years old, Dad. Also... hand me that spanner....."

"This is really complicated equipment and I'm only seven years old, Dad. Also... hand me that spanner....."

"Is this really the time for us to be holding hands, Terry?" "There couldn't be a BETTER time, George"

"Is this really the time for us to be holding hands, Terry?"
"There couldn't be a BETTER time, George"

Our first arrivals : Prince William and the Duchess of Cambrige, who I guess will change or freshen up, and then get into their carriage or onto their horse or whatever they've decided. Just as an aside, my car is both newer and more convenient to park in urban spaces than theirs is. And it's not currently for sale.

Our first arrivals : Prince William and the Duchess of Cambrige, who I guess will change or freshen up, and then get into their carriage or onto their horse or whatever they've decided. Just as an aside, my car is both newer and more convenient to park in urban spaces than theirs is. And it's not currently for sale.

"We brought Ma'am her sandwiches. They're still fresh"

"We brought Ma'am her sandwiches. They're still fresh"

".... next time perhaps they could remember the Diet Coke..."

".... next time perhaps they could remember the Diet Coke..."

The wireless speakers for my iPhone look just like this.

The wireless speakers for my iPhone look just like this.

You could fit a really good quality speaker system for your iPod under that, and nobody would ever know.... (that you still used an iPod for music in this day and age)

You could fit a really good quality speaker system for your iPod under that, and nobody would ever know.... (that you still used an iPod for music in this day and age)

The Clydesdale Horse drummers and mounted band take up spots right next to us. I'm not sure they're taking song requests from the crowd, though...

The Clydesdale Horse drummers and mounted band take up spots right next to us. I'm not sure they're taking song requests from the crowd, though...

I'm selling this royal memorabilia on ebay as soon a this is over...

I'm selling this royal memorabilia on ebay as soon a this is over...

It's finally started (well.. from my persective it has) - the Duchesses of Cambridge and Cornwall are the first to leave Buck House and head towards the Horse Guards... thingy.... at the other end of the mall, where they will presumably not have to queue for popcorn and Pepsi for the event being held there.

It's finally started (well.. from my persective it has) - the Duchesses of Cambridge and Cornwall are the first to leave Buck House and head towards the Horse Guards... thingy.... at the other end of the mall, where they will presumably not have to queue for popcorn and Pepsi for the event being held there.

Worst Airbag Design Ever.

Worst Airbag Design Ever.

"No, I am NOT updating my facebook profile...."

"No, I am NOT updating my facebook profile...."

"The airconditioning on this vehicle isn't particularly effective.... I can still mostly just smell horses"

"The airconditioning on this vehicle isn't particularly effective.... I can still mostly just smell horses"

"And you're not even wearing a CAP??" - I have photographed Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge before - she attended the royal premieres of War Horse, African Cats and most recently the premiere of the James Bond film Spectre. Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall was most recently at... I think it was Skyfall?

"And you're not even wearing a CAP??" - I have photographed Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge before - she attended the royal premieres of War Horse, African Cats and most recently the premiere of the James Bond film Spectre. Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall was most recently at... I think it was Skyfall?

"If any of you ran up to me right now, you'd either be tackled by police, or be riddled with bullets from snipers. But if you could make it past that, I'd totally high-five you before you bled out...."

"If any of you ran up to me right now, you'd either be tackled by police, or be riddled with bullets from snipers. But if you could make it past that, I'd totally high-five you before you bled out...."

I can't really be bothered to consult a Royal Family Tree or genealogical diagram to figure out where Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice fall in the line of royal succession.... but their hats are pretty great?

I can't really be bothered to consult a Royal Family Tree or genealogical diagram to figure out where Princesses Eugenie and Beatrice fall in the line of royal succession.... but their hats are pretty great?

I think this might be Zara Phillips, but I'm going off people in the crowd who are older and more British than me. (CORRECTION : with thanks to Cathie Trannent : this is Sophie, Countess of Wessex, wife of Prince Edward) (In my defence, if you're not on the back of coins and banknotes, or married to somebody who is, or is directly related to somebody who stands to be.... then you're mostly just a particularly well-dressed fellow human being!)

I think this might be Zara Phillips, but I'm going off people in the crowd who are older and more British than me. (CORRECTION : with thanks to Cathie Trannent : this is Sophie, Countess of Wessex, wife of Prince Edward) (In my defence, if you're not on the back of coins and banknotes, or married to somebody who is, or is directly related to somebody who stands to be.... then you're mostly just a particularly well-dressed fellow human being!)

"We wholeheartedly feel that this taxpayer-funded Monarchy is a good thing!!!"

"We wholeheartedly feel that this taxpayer-funded Monarchy is a good thing!!!"

I believe this is Princess Anne, the Queen's sister**. I'm not sure what wars she won those medals for, but I still have over a decade's worth of medals for completing Sydney's City to Surf eleven times. That's what I'd be wearing to this thing.  (** CORRECTION : She's her daughter, with thanks to BGoddard and ET) (Oops! and no, I am not hitting on The Queen by using a very obvious compliment - I'm much more (less?) subtle than that)

I believe this is Princess Anne, the Queen's sister**. I'm not sure what wars she won those medals for, but I still have over a decade's worth of medals for completing Sydney's City to Surf eleven times. That's what I'd be wearing to this thing.  (** CORRECTION : She's her daughter, with thanks to BGoddard and ET) (Oops! and no, I am not hitting on The Queen by using a very obvious compliment - I'm much more (less?) subtle than that)

(Oh, for a slightly taller monarch)... it's The Queen!!!

(Oh, for a slightly taller monarch)... it's The Queen!!!

Two days later, and I want nothing more than to recrop the above image to the one below. So I have:

Horse Photobombs Queen!

Horse Photobombs Queen!

"One has already authorised one's husband to wave at one's subjects on one's behalf"

"One has already authorised one's husband to wave at one's subjects on one's behalf"

"I've got a whole beer keg under this thing. And it's really heavy!" "I told you before that this carriage has stubby holders, dear...."

"I've got a whole beer keg under this thing. And it's really heavy!"
"I told you before that this carriage has stubby holders, dear...."

"One just remembers that one has left one's Bumper Book of Sudoku in the back seat of the Bentley. That's annoying"

"One just remembers that one has left one's Bumper Book of Sudoku in the back seat of the Bentley. That's annoying"

So... that was Round 1. Having now passed us, the Queen would go to the Horse Guards Palace Place (?), inspect stuff, and then in about an hour and a half return and head up to the balcony of Buckingham Palace to watch a Red Arrows fly-by. Or so I was told. And due to the seven- or eight- deep crowds, I wasn't really in a position to leave, so I figured I might as well stay.

"I spy, with my little eye...... something beginning with-" "I've got a machine gun, Jeff. And I'm telling you to stop"

"I spy, with my little eye...... something beginning with-"
"I've got a machine gun, Jeff. And I'm telling you to stop"

"But if she doesn't sign autographs and she doesn't do selfies, then why the hell am I even here??"

"But if she doesn't sign autographs and she doesn't do selfies, then why the hell am I even here??"

"Enough of this classical music crap. Time for some Hip-Hop!!"

"Enough of this classical music crap. Time for some Hip-Hop!!"

I'm kind of mesmerised by the layers of circularreflections and re-reflections in this trumpet. Should we stop spending money on expensive supercolliders and pump more money into investigating brass instruments?

I'm kind of mesmerised by the layers of circularreflections and re-reflections in this trumpet. Should we stop spending money on expensive supercolliders and pump more money into investigating brass instruments?

"We're back. And how was it? Ummm... loud."

"We're back. And how was it? Ummm... loud."

"And I didn't get a single choc-top...."

"And I didn't get a single choc-top...."

"What does this staff symbolise? It symbolises the great view I'm getting standing here. You want this view? Get this staff...."

"What does this staff symbolise? It symbolises the great view I'm getting standing here. You want this view? Get this staff...."

The Queen is still en route in her carriage, but most of the extended Royal Family are briefly on the balcony, enjoying the view.

The Queen is still en route in her carriage, but most of the extended Royal Family are briefly on the balcony, enjoying the view.

The horse guards are running some pretty impressive Defence on Her Majesty.. I didn't get a single decent shot of her returning to Buck House.

The horse guards are running some pretty impressive Defence on Her Majesty.. I didn't get a single decent shot of her returning to Buck House.

The Queen's hat, however, I did not miss.

The Queen's hat, however, I did not miss.

"And the Queen explicitly requested "something bitchin'??" "Her exact words, I believe...."

"And the Queen explicitly requested "something bitchin'??"
"Her exact words, I believe...."

"To reitrate : that's the last time I let you put your workmans vest in with my formal wear. "

"To reitrate : that's the last time I let you put your workmans vest in with my formal wear. "

"Yes, Doug. Now would be too late to buy stuff Duty Free"

"Yes, Doug. Now would be too late to buy stuff Duty Free"

"Honestly? I don't know who more than half of these people around me are...."

"Honestly? I don't know who more than half of these people around me are...."

"Sir, is that a radar malfunction, or is the Queen really wearing that colour?"

"Sir, is that a radar malfunction, or is the Queen really wearing that colour?"

Weirdest thing about the people on the balcony? Not one of them has their iPhone out, taking selfies right now.

Weirdest thing about the people on the balcony? Not one of them has their iPhone out, taking selfies right now.

"I don't care how toxic it might be for the environment or the people below... one of us should have had THAT colour green."

"I don't care how toxic it might be for the environment or the people below... one of us should have had THAT colour green."

"If any of that lands on my property, somebody had better clean it up."

"If any of that lands on my property, somebody had better clean it up."

"Okay, we're all done, and we're all grateful. Now if you'd just kindly get off my property...."

"Okay, we're all done, and we're all grateful. Now if you'd just kindly get off my property...."

So... that was that. It was quite civilised despite the crowd. Next time I'd consider being on the far right hand wall for an elevated position, and I'd be wanting to get myself onto the road itself when they open it up to the people on The Mall. That's assuming the UK doesn't vote to leave the EU and I'm forced outta here as the disrespectful heathen foreigner I am.

I'd miss the premieres, that's for sure.

Until next time!

PS. If you want to know whenever I post a new Premiere journal (or Event journal), feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or on facebook by clicking here. You can also share this journal, comment on it below, or tell me how, when (if) 90 years old I am, look as good I will not.