The 2017 Evening Standard Theatre Awards

December 3rd, 2017.

Unlike 2015 and 2016, when the Evening Standard Theatre Awards were held south of the Thames at the Old Vic, this year they were at the Royal Theatre Drury Lane, which for fact fans from all around the world is a misnomer : the Royal Theatre Dury Lane is not actually ON Drury Lane.

Which is about all you need to know. Here's how it went down:

It's the Evening Standard Theatre Awards. I'm here... where are you? (if your answer is any combination of "warm" and "dry", you don't even need to add "drunk" to claim victory)

It's the Evening Standard Theatre Awards. I'm here... where are you? (if your answer is any combination of "warm" and "dry", you don't even need to add "drunk" to claim victory)

I feel like I should know who this is... and after a good night's sleep (or otherwise) I'm going to try to figure it out. But not tonight, and not this late. (edited to add : possibly Cush Jumbo, and/or the guy facing her (who I did not photograph) might be Nonso Anozie? With thanks to Nicola King, because I'm floundering here!)

I feel like I should know who this is... and after a good night's sleep (or otherwise) I'm going to try to figure it out. But not tonight, and not this late. (edited to add : possibly Cush Jumbo, and/or the guy facing her (who I did not photograph) might be Nonso Anozie? With thanks to Nicola King, because I'm floundering here!)

Glenda Jackson has won two Best Actress Oscars, meaning I'm posting her photo with or without eye-contact. If Charlize Theron shows up, my criteria will be even lower (though my anguish at a badly taken photo greater) (edited to add : Glenda Jackson won the Best Actress Awards on the evening)

Glenda Jackson has won two Best Actress Oscars, meaning I'm posting her photo with or without eye-contact. If Charlize Theron shows up, my criteria will be even lower (though my anguish at a badly taken photo greater)
(edited to add : Glenda Jackson won the Best Actress Awards on the evening)

"Please don't ask me that question. Last time I made a comment about Star Wars, it cost me about half my friends. Not the better half, mind you, but it still hurt". I don't know who this is, and I'm not looking forward to The Last Jedi - it might cost me much of the remaining quarter I myself have left.

"Please don't ask me that question. Last time I made a comment about Star Wars, it cost me about half my friends. Not the better half, mind you, but it still hurt". I don't know who this is, and I'm not looking forward to The Last Jedi - it might cost me much of the remaining quarter I myself have left.

"Oh, if only there was an ornate letter 'T' a girl could pose next to on a chilly Sunday eve..." Good news for Charlotte Hope - The Evening Standard Theatre Awards gives afficionadoes a choice of up to four. Take that, The Oliviers!

"Oh, if only there was an ornate letter 'T' a girl could pose next to on a chilly Sunday eve..." Good news for Charlotte Hope - The Evening Standard Theatre Awards gives afficionadoes a choice of up to four. Take that, The Oliviers!

Embarrassed to add later : Amber Riley, who won the award for best musical performance on the night.

Embarrassed to add later : Amber Riley, who won the award for best musical performance on the night.

Embarrassedly added later : Andrew Polec and Christina Bennington , who accepted the BBC Radio 2 Audience Award for Best Musical for "Bat Out Of Hell" (I was at that premiere, but couldn't parley it into a regular gig shooting musical premieres/openings #regret)

Embarrassedly added later : Andrew Polec and Christina Bennington , who accepted the BBC Radio 2 Audience Award for Best Musical for "Bat Out Of Hell" (I was at that premiere, but couldn't parley it into a regular gig shooting musical premieres/openings #regret)

I don't know of Arinze Kene's association with theatre (which is not an accusation, merely an admission of my lack of knowledge), but I do know that he was in and at the premiere of the movie "The Pass" back in 2016.

I don't know of Arinze Kene's association with theatre (which is not an accusation, merely an admission of my lack of knowledge), but I do know that he was in and at the premiere of the movie "The Pass" back in 2016.

Fashionista Anna Wintour - on the night before the Fashion Awards and WITHOUT glasses. Damnit, if glasses aren't cool anymore then the fashion cred of my daily ensemble rests almost entirely on my off-brand jeans and thinsulate beanie...

Fashionista Anna Wintour - on the night before the Fashion Awards and WITHOUT glasses. Damnit, if glasses aren't cool anymore then the fashion cred of my daily ensemble rests almost entirely on my off-brand jeans and thinsulate beanie...

This may be former Chancellor George Osborne, who is also associated with the Evening Standard. There were protesters on site whose accusations were that the paper was paying for theatre awards by running sex ads, but their accusations seemed phrased more like questions, and near as I could tell they didn't start chanting until about half an hour after Osborne had gone inside. Back to the drawing board, protesters...

This may be former Chancellor George Osborne, who is also associated with the Evening Standard. There were protesters on site whose accusations were that the paper was paying for theatre awards by running sex ads, but their accusations seemed phrased more like questions, and near as I could tell they didn't start chanting until about half an hour after Osborne had gone inside. Back to the drawing board, protesters...

Wireimage doesn't recognise her, but I choose to recognise Formal Orange on a red carpet for this event. (nb. the badge she's wearing says "Actresses Equal Representation - 50:50". Which I think is ludicrous . in my view 100% of actresses should have equal representation) (edited to add : wireimage now does, and she's Laura Donnelly)

Wireimage doesn't recognise her, but I choose to recognise Formal Orange on a red carpet for this event. (nb. the badge she's wearing says "Actresses Equal Representation - 50:50". Which I think is ludicrous . in my view 100% of actresses should have equal representation) (edited to add : wireimage now does, and she's Laura Donnelly)

It's photos like this - of actress Ellie Bamber - that make me wonder whether I've chosen my spot at this event wisely or poorly. Might be time to think about shifting one or two people too late.

It's photos like this - of actress Ellie Bamber - that make me wonder whether I've chosen my spot at this event wisely or poorly. Might be time to think about shifting one or two people too late.

"Cate Blanchett is expected to attend this event? Well... I might just stand here and elaborate on this very complex question I've just decided you've asked me. What was that question, by the way?" (edited to add, with some embarrassment, that he's Jez Butterworth, who won the Best Play award for "The Ferryman")

"Cate Blanchett is expected to attend this event? Well... I might just stand here and elaborate on this very complex question I've just decided you've asked me. What was that question, by the way?"
(edited to add, with some embarrassment, that he's
Jez Butterworth, who won the Best Play award for "The Ferryman")

"At this stage I'd prefer to lip-sync them, but overall I still think they're great tunes" - Dame Shirley Bassey sang the themes to several James Bond films, including Goldfinger and Diamonds Are Forever.

"At this stage I'd prefer to lip-sync them, but overall I still think they're great tunes" - Dame Shirley Bassey sang the themes to several James Bond films, including Goldfinger and Diamonds Are Forever.

Edited to add : Tom Glynn-Carney won an award (or, to be fair, in a gallery I saw online he was clutching an award and the caption didn't say whether it was his or not and what for. Damn... I need better researchers...) (edited to edit to add : he won the 'Emerging Talent' award)

Edited to add : Tom Glynn-Carney won an award (or, to be fair, in a gallery I saw online he was clutching an award and the caption didn't say whether it was his or not and what for. Damn... I need better researchers...) (edited to edit to add : he won the 'Emerging Talent' award)

Wireimage says " Savannah Miller " and I'm not arguing with Wireimage on this.

Wireimage says " Savannah Miller " and I'm not arguing with Wireimage on this.

Sorry to all the many fans of Jeremy Irvine, foreign brand ambassador for the smart-casual fragrance 'Andy by Hamish' (RIP that radio show) - this is as good a photo as I managed.

Sorry to all the many fans of Jeremy Irvine, foreign brand ambassador for the smart-casual fragrance 'Andy by Hamish' (RIP that radio show) - this is as good a photo as I managed.

"I never did ask what "C" was short for" - Andrew Scott is possibly best known for playing Moriarty in the 'Sherlock' series, but he was also 'C' in the most recent James Bond film 'Spectre'

"I never did ask what "C" was short for" - Andrew Scott is possibly best known for playing Moriarty in the 'Sherlock' series, but he was also 'C' in the most recent James Bond film 'Spectre'

Alan Carr. Further commentary as it becomes available.

Alan Carr. Further commentary as it becomes available.

"Let's blow this cold carpet and grab a beer" - I'm not sure whether it's me or Sir Patrick Stewart thinking this, but I'm in total agreement with one or both of us for thinking this

"Let's blow this cold carpet and grab a beer" - I'm not sure whether it's me or Sir Patrick Stewart thinking this, but I'm in total agreement with one or both of us for thinking this

Sick(ish) of the blocked views of foliage around the corner, I've decided to shift position to the other side of the Theatre Royal Drury Lane, which as noted is not on Drury Lane. still.. hopefully even with the shoving of autograph dealers and lower levels of light, the angle for photography might be better. I hope.

Sick(ish) of the blocked views of foliage around the corner, I've decided to shift position to the other side of the Theatre Royal Drury Lane, which as noted is not on Drury Lane. still.. hopefully even with the shoving of autograph dealers and lower levels of light, the angle for photography might be better. I hope.

Andrew Garfield was (insert name of London Theatre Production here) but is possibly best known for being in The Amazing Spider-Man duo of films (post Maguire, pre Holland) but that said he was great in films like The Social Network, Hacksaw Ridge and 99 Homes.

Andrew Garfield was (insert name of London Theatre Production here) but is possibly best known for being in The Amazing Spider-Man duo of films (post Maguire, pre Holland) but that said he was great in films like The Social Network, Hacksaw Ridge and 99 Homes.

"What do you mean "Tom Holland was Pretty Good as Spider-Man"?? I paid that voodoo priest good money for those curses...." (edited to add, by way of consolation: Andrew Garfield won the Best Actor Awards on the evening)  

"What do you mean "Tom Holland was Pretty Good as Spider-Man"?? I paid that voodoo priest good money for those curses...."
(edited to add, by way of consolation: Andrew Garfield won the Best Actor Awards on the evening)

 

I'm not entirely certain what actress Keira Knightley's bona fides are where theatre is concerned, but given mine is limited mostly to "Hey, I'm At This Event And It's Cold", I suppose I'm not one to judge.

I'm not entirely certain what actress Keira Knightley's bona fides are where theatre is concerned, but given mine is limited mostly to "Hey, I'm At This Event And It's Cold", I suppose I'm not one to judge.

"My autograph is worth how much? Well let's talk profit-sharing before I walk over there and basically give you free money!"

"My autograph is worth how much? Well let's talk profit-sharing before I walk over there and basically give you free money!"

Through the wonders of highlight-extraction on a full-frame Nikon I can now proclaim to have photographed Director Sam Mendes (who won on the night for "The Ferryman" but also directed the James Bond films "Skyfall" and "Spectre")

Through the wonders of highlight-extraction on a full-frame Nikon I can now proclaim to have photographed Director Sam Mendes (who won on the night for "The Ferryman" but also directed the James Bond films "Skyfall" and "Spectre")

It's Australia's own Cate Blanchett! My Australian visa is still lost in bureacratic hell (or perhaps has simply disappeared) so my residency status is currently "not Australian" but come on... I might not support Australia in The Ashes, but I totally cheered them beating England in the Rugby League world Cup!

It's Australia's own Cate Blanchett! My Australian visa is still lost in bureacratic hell (or perhaps has simply disappeared) so my residency status is currently "not Australian" but come on... I might not support Australia in The Ashes, but I totally cheered them beating England in the Rugby League world Cup!

"You liked Thor Ragnarok? Well, thank you!". Thor Ragnarok wasn't bad, but it felt like a movie that assumed that because I liked ice cream, and because I liked beer, I'd naturally like Ice Cream Flavoured Beer. I like drama and I like humour, but not at the same time.

"You liked Thor Ragnarok? Well, thank you!". Thor Ragnarok wasn't bad, but it felt like a movie that assumed that because I liked ice cream, and because I liked beer, I'd naturally like Ice Cream Flavoured Beer. I like drama and I like humour, but not at the same time.

I feel like I should know who this is. You know... even though this is a theatre event and I'm an impostor who knows nothing about theatre.

I feel like I should know who this is. You know... even though this is a theatre event and I'm an impostor who knows nothing about theatre.

"I wore this jacket especially and not one of you asks for my autograph?" - I shoulda photographed his shoes : he's Christian Louboutin, and he designs those shoes with the red soles that women wear (this fashion tip from me : wearing cheap sweatshop manufactured black Nikes almost exclusively since 2011)

"I wore this jacket especially and not one of you asks for my autograph?" - I shoulda photographed his shoes : he's Christian Louboutin, and he designs those shoes with the red soles that women wear (this fashion tip from me : wearing cheap sweatshop manufactured black Nikes almost exclusively since 2011)

Once heard, it's hard to claim you've never heard of the name "Ophelia Lovibond". I think I last (or perhaps best) photographed her at this year's TV Baftas.

Once heard, it's hard to claim you've never heard of the name "Ophelia Lovibond". I think I last (or perhaps best) photographed her at this year's TV Baftas.

Androgyny. So hot right now. (I'm wearing stubble and a beanie... it's not a look everyone can pull off so effortlessly)

Androgyny. So hot right now. (I'm wearing stubble and a beanie... it's not a look everyone can pull off so effortlessly)

I'm not sure who this is, but technically she's not copying Annabelle Wallis' dress, Annabelle Wallis is copying hers. (wireimage says : Margaret Clunie)

I'm not sure who this is, but technically she's not copying Annabelle Wallis' dress, Annabelle Wallis is copying hers. (wireimage says : Margaret Clunie)

During a break in the madness (during which I probably missed Christian Slater, damnit...), let's remind ourselves (and random tourists walking past who don't Do Signs) why we're here.

During a break in the madness (during which I probably missed Christian Slater, damnit...), let's remind ourselves (and random tourists walking past who don't Do Signs) why we're here.

Wireimage says : " Elena Perminova". I say : "nice dress" (I'm suave like that.)

Wireimage says : " Elena Perminova". I say : "nice dress" (I'm suave like that.)

I'm not sure if this isn't (or is) director Dee Rees, who directed the movie Mudbound, which had its BFI LFF premiere a few months back. It was warmer then.... (edited to add : no, she's Naomi Ackie)

I'm not sure if this isn't (or is) director Dee Rees, who directed the movie Mudbound, which had its BFI LFF premiere a few months back. It was warmer then.... (edited to add : no, she's Naomi Ackie)

Identification pending. Or not. Wireimage has four pages on this event and they don't seem to include this lady.

Identification pending. Or not. Wireimage has four pages on this event and they don't seem to include this lady.

"So... do you prefer to pronounce it "theetr" or "thee-aii-tarh"?" - Billie Piper is In Theatre.

"So... do you prefer to pronounce it "theetr" or "thee-aii-tarh"?" - Billie Piper is In Theatre.

"I can distract you from the autograph dealers shouting for you out in the crowd, but sadly we don't have enough people on staff to distract them..."

"I can distract you from the autograph dealers shouting for you out in the crowd, but sadly we don't have enough people on staff to distract them..."

I don't (yet) know who this (or 'these') is ('are')...

I don't (yet) know who this (or 'these') is ('are')...

"I'm coming over not so much to sign for you guys but just to annoy my posse of minders who don't  like crossing roads" - Phoebe Waller-Bridge

"I'm coming over not so much to sign for you guys but just to annoy my posse of minders who don't  like crossing roads" - Phoebe Waller-Bridge

"And now we're walking over here. Come on, Posse..."

"And now we're walking over here. Come on, Posse..."

"Of course once you step past a certain point on the red carpet, you stop being a desirable person to photograph and instead become nothing more than Money for the autograph dealers in the crowd...". Autograph dealers might not know theatre, but they do know money.

"Of course once you step past a certain point on the red carpet, you stop being a desirable person to photograph and instead become nothing more than Money for the autograph dealers in the crowd...". Autograph dealers might not know theatre, but they do know money.

It feels a bit unfair to mention that Annabelle Wallis' biggest contribution to my 2017 was being in the truly awful Tom Cruise movie "The Mummy", a movie that was like spending all of a crappy first date talking about how great the date was going and how awesome the next few planned dates would be. And you just don't do that on a date with Annabelle Wallis.

It feels a bit unfair to mention that Annabelle Wallis' biggest contribution to my 2017 was being in the truly awful Tom Cruise movie "The Mummy", a movie that was like spending all of a crappy first date talking about how great the date was going and how awesome the next few planned dates would be. And you just don't do that on a date with Annabelle Wallis.

Helen McCrory is possibly unfairly best remembered by me for being the MP who grills Judy Dench's "M" in parliament in Skyfall. But she's done other things, including wearing red dresses.

Helen McCrory is possibly unfairly best remembered by me for being the MP who grills Judy Dench's "M" in parliament in Skyfall. But she's done other things, including wearing red dresses.

This is Ruth Negga. That's all I've got right now. (edited to add : apparently I should be watching "Preacher" on something called "Prime"- thanks, Konstantin!)

This is Ruth Negga. That's all I've got right now. (edited to add : apparently I should be watching "Preacher" on something called "Prime"- thanks, Konstantin!)

Dominic Cooper is nominally Iron Man's father, though I have no idea whether that plot strand ever went beyond the first Captain America movie.

Dominic Cooper is nominally Iron Man's father, though I have no idea whether that plot strand ever went beyond the first Captain America movie.

I was all set to suggest that I have no idea who this is, but I've since learned it's Suki Waterhouse, and now I'm just confused because the last two times I photographed her she looked nothing like this. Perhaps she's more of an idea than a specific person?

I was all set to suggest that I have no idea who this is, but I've since learned it's Suki Waterhouse, and now I'm just confused because the last two times I photographed her she looked nothing like this. Perhaps she's more of an idea than a specific person?

"Is that it? Is it over? Can we go inside now?" sure, why not. I'm going home myself.

"Is that it? Is it over? Can we go inside now?" sure, why not. I'm going home myself.

So... that was that. Once again I'm an impostor at a theatre-related event, and unlike last year (and the year before) when I at least made time to see one (1) theatre production, this year all I did was photograph The Olivier Awards.

On the plus side, it's another +1 for both this largely disregarded "theatre and fashion" section of my website (tomorrow should get another one) AND my archive of premiere journals, AND another chance to invite all-comers to follow me on (a) facebook at premieresdotco or (b) twitter at berndt2_photo if you want to know whenever I post one of these things.

Or... never mind. Let's do it again next year anyway, Darling.

Other winners hastily added later (refer above)