BFI LFF

19 Oct - the BFI LFF Closing Gala 'Fury' Premiere

October 19th, 2014.

So, it's finally over for another year : the BFI London Film Festival and its one-a-day smorgasbord of small, smaller and occasionally disarmingly large and/or rainy and/or crowded premieres. I only signed off for three days - two of those for separate unrelated Film Composer events (a Hans Zimmer concert and a Patrick Doyle Screentalk), and one because I was tiiiiiired (yesterday. sorry, fans of Viggo Mortensen). Still... one day left, and one giant premiere.

I knew I was going to have to get in early, and even then I'd have no guarantee of success.

Here's how it went down

Let's just say I got up early enough to catch a train where late-night revellers from the prior evening in London were still doing things like this

Let's just say I got up early enough to catch a train where late-night revellers from the prior evening in London were still doing things like this

A mere 10 hours later, and with the number 65 on my wrist (or 59 if you read it upsidedown) I had my spot, right next to the stairs leading to the stage on which (I hoped) all the stars would be interviewed. It wasn't quite the 'reward' I was potentially 'entitled' to - I didn't get a front row spot facing the carpet, and to my left were a whole bunch of teen girls with numbers in the 200s and 300s.

A mere 10 hours later, and with the number 65 on my wrist (or 59 if you read it upsidedown) I had my spot, right next to the stairs leading to the stage on which (I hoped) all the stars would be interviewed. It wasn't quite the 'reward' I was potentially 'entitled' to - I didn't get a front row spot facing the carpet, and to my left were a whole bunch of teen girls with numbers in the 200s and 300s.

It was a big red carpet, stretching further to the right and with barriers extending further than that... PLUS the centre of Leicester Square was also packed. But my finger's hardly on the pulse of today's youth (not least of which the screaming girls next to me) - were they here for Brad Pitt? Shia LaBeouf? Logan Lerman? (if you said Logan, you're closest to the mark - screams from his fans were probably the loudest when they were called out)

It was a big red carpet, stretching further to the right and with barriers extending further than that... PLUS the centre of Leicester Square was also packed. But my finger's hardly on the pulse of today's youth (not least of which the screaming girls next to me) - were they here for Brad Pitt? Shia LaBeouf? Logan Lerman? (if you said Logan, you're closest to the mark - screams from his fans were probably the loudest when they were called out)

Here's today's list. And yes, I may have have framed it rather salaciously in this instance.

Here's today's list. And yes, I may have have framed it rather salaciously in this instance.

The thigh, legs and short dress (and list) belonged to this lady, who I will not objectify based on a random assortment of body parts (and ownership of a list)... although perhaps I already have. She's pretty though... (... this premiere featured an almost entirely male cast, so there's plenty of opportunities for objectification of the male form, if I can get around to recognising or bothering to photograph it)

The thigh, legs and short dress (and list) belonged to this lady, who I will not objectify based on a random assortment of body parts (and ownership of a list)... although perhaps I already have. She's pretty though... (... this premiere featured an almost entirely male cast, so there's plenty of opportunities for objectification of the male form, if I can get around to recognising or bothering to photograph it)

Wow. The person or people who owned these striking portraits with in a rather remote and late-opening public pen. Also, rumours were that Angelina Jolie would NOT be joining her husband on the red carpet this time.

Wow. The person or people who owned these striking portraits with in a rather remote and late-opening public pen. Also, rumours were that Angelina Jolie would NOT be joining her husband on the red carpet this time.

After about an hour of loud music that was a bit too contemporary (and rock'n'pop) to fit in with the World War II theme of the film, the stars finally began to arrive.

My spot is not along the main pen running alongside the Red Carpet, rather it faces the stage, and shooting over my shoulder requires balance and space I don't really have, even if the red carpet momentarily clears enough for me to photograph into the interview pens. This is Jon Bernthal facing vaguely forward, flanked by Michael Pena and Logan Lerman.

My spot is not along the main pen running alongside the Red Carpet, rather it faces the stage, and shooting over my shoulder requires balance and space I don't really have, even if the red carpet momentarily clears enough for me to photograph into the interview pens. This is Jon Bernthal facing vaguely forward, flanked by Michael Pena and Logan Lerman.

If I can't shoot him from an extreme distance, it soon becomes clear that if anything I'm a bit too close to the main stage to use my primary portrait lens. Here again is Jon Bernthal, best known for being in The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), the television show The Walking Dead, and having his name screamed by the teen girls to my left.

If I can't shoot him from an extreme distance, it soon becomes clear that if anything I'm a bit too close to the main stage to use my primary portrait lens. Here again is Jon Bernthal, best known for being in The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), the television show The Walking Dead, and having his name screamed by the teen girls to my left.

"Your adulation is appreciated, and, I personally believe, well-founded. I totally rock. Vote 1 Jon Bernthal.... who is me. Thank you"

"Your adulation is appreciated, and, I personally believe, well-founded. I totally rock. Vote 1 Jon Bernthal.... who is me. Thank you"

Our next arrival was actually somewhat of a late arrival, but next up to be interviewed on stage, and I'll be honest I'm having a hard time deciding whether I like the dress or her name better : "Alicia Von Rittberg"

Our next arrival was actually somewhat of a late arrival, but next up to be interviewed on stage, and I'll be honest I'm having a hard time deciding whether I like the dress or her name better : "Alicia Von Rittberg"

Alicia Von Rittberg departs the stage, where I did photograph her but even I have limits (minor, self-imposed) to what photos I'll publish on this site when people are oriented a certain way at a certain elevation on a stage I'm next to. Even the screaming girls to my left were momentarily quiet, making me like Alicia Von Rittberg even more.

Alicia Von Rittberg departs the stage, where I did photograph her but even I have limits (minor, self-imposed) to what photos I'll publish on this site when people are oriented a certain way at a certain elevation on a stage I'm next to. Even the screaming girls to my left were momentarily quiet, making me like Alicia Von Rittberg even more.

" I regret nothing!" . Me neither!

"I regret nothing!". Me neither!

I'm a big fan of Michael  Peña  (slightly less than I'm now a new fan of Alicia Von Rittberg who I only just met, though) - I recognise him as far back as the underrated and fun Nic Cage "Gone in Sixty Seconds (1999)".

I'm a big fan of Michael Peña (slightly less than I'm now a new fan of Alicia Von Rittberg who I only just met, though) - I recognise him as far back as the underrated and fun Nic Cage "Gone in Sixty Seconds (1999)".

My view of the stage, as taken by my GoPro. So obviously when I wasn't being shoved and pushed by the teens to my left, I was pretty optimistic.

My view of the stage, as taken by my GoPro. So obviously when I wasn't being shoved and pushed by the teens to my left, I was pretty optimistic.

"I just wanna throw a bit of thanks out to my fellow Mexicanos on the westside... whether that be of Mexico, The USA or even Germany like this guy".  Thanks, man. Appreciate the shout-out

"I just wanna throw a bit of thanks out to my fellow Mexicanos on the westside... whether that be of Mexico, The USA or even Germany like this guy". Thanks, man. Appreciate the shout-out

"Crash, Babel, The Lincoln Lawyer, End Of Watch, Gangster Squad, Battle Los Angeles.... nah, if I had to do a sequel it'd be to Gone in Sixty Seconds".  Longer gaps between original and sequel have existed, but right now I can only think of Tron (1982)

"Crash, Babel, The Lincoln Lawyer, End Of Watch, Gangster Squad, Battle Los Angeles.... nah, if I had to do a sequel it'd be to Gone in Sixty Seconds". Longer gaps between original and sequel have existed, but right now I can only think of Tron (1982)

"Shia LeBeouf's beard was amazing to work with. And Shia himself was good, too" . David Ayer is the director of this film, and his filmography includes the (I think) excellent End Of Watch (2012) which he wrote and directed, the very impressive Training Day (which he was the screenwriter for) and... well... he also wrote the first Fast & The Furious movie. Insofar as that had a writer, rather than notes where Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez would growl.

"Shia LeBeouf's beard was amazing to work with. And Shia himself was good, too". David Ayer is the director of this film, and his filmography includes the (I think) excellent End Of Watch (2012) which he wrote and directed, the very impressive Training Day (which he was the screenwriter for) and... well... he also wrote the first Fast & The Furious movie. Insofar as that had a writer, rather than notes where Vin Diesel and Michelle Rodriguez would growl.

Next up to be interviewed, young Logan Lerman waits for his director to finish being interviewed, and the teen girls to my right go into writhing paroxysms of hysteria the likes of which I probably haven't seen since the movie World War Z, coincidentally starring Brad Pitt, who has arrived and is being interviewed over <indicates> there in the distance.

Next up to be interviewed, young Logan Lerman waits for his director to finish being interviewed, and the teen girls to my right go into writhing paroxysms of hysteria the likes of which I probably haven't seen since the movie World War Z, coincidentally starring Brad Pitt, who has arrived and is being interviewed over <indicates> there in the distance.

"I couldn't hear that... could you repeat the question? Or rather, could you sign it or write it down because that screaming is really really loud"

"I couldn't hear that... could you repeat the question? Or rather, could you sign it or write it down because that screaming is really really loud"

"Nope... still not hearing you. Maybe if you tweeted my assistant back in LA and she texted me what you're asking...?"  Semaphore via nautical flags would be my suggestion.

"Nope... still not hearing you. Maybe if you tweeted my assistant back in LA and she texted me what you're asking...?" Semaphore via nautical flags would be my suggestion.

I just want to pause here a little and get on my soapbox briefly (feel free to skip this) but in the past I have called the autograph dealers "scum", whose presence infects premieres with the kind of money-driven aggression that can make them very unpleasant unless they voluntarily sequester themselves at the drop-off point where chances of getting signatures are greatest.

However, I have discovered a new form of much greater aggression, and surprisingly it comes in the form of teenage girls at premieres. Their response to anyone with the vaguest modicum of fame verges on the hysterical and sees them mercilessly barge, shove, wriggle and claw their way forward without any hesitation. What's worse, they act safe in the knowledge that in any confrontation between them and an adult male will automatically see the male considered the aggressor. It's appalling. I wish I had pepper spray handy...

(If you're a teen girl reading this, you're obviously exempt from this criticism. I'm sure you and your friends are all exemplary vanguards of a great new generation)

But I guess my advice is : stay away from smelly unwashed homeless autograph dealers if you can.... but DEFINITELY steer clear of teenage girls anywhere near Logan Lerman.

We resume....

Good news : Shia LaBeouf's beard has brought the actor himself as its date for this event. The fact that the teenage girls are still screaming and shoving relentlessly may safely be inferred.

Good news : Shia LaBeouf's beard has brought the actor himself as its date for this event. The fact that the teenage girls are still screaming and shoving relentlessly may safely be inferred.

"Is my beard real? What do you think -- of course not!"

"Is my beard real? What do you think -- of course not!"

"I just want to... want to..... reach out and...." "Please don't"

"I just want to... want to..... reach out and...."
"Please don't"

"Baaaby... sure I'm drunk... but if I kissed you right now, do you think you could find Logan Lerman and kiss him? I think that would be almost like me kissing him. Also... is that beard real?"

"Baaaby... sure I'm drunk... but if I kissed you right now, do you think you could find Logan Lerman and kiss him? I think that would be almost like me kissing him. Also... is that beard real?"

"I think Voldermort was misunderstood, is all. We were all just kids, making mistakes...." Jason Isaacs played the villainous Lucius Malfoy in the Harry Potter movies. And to think, I only photographed Professor Snape one premiere ago (and Daniel Radcliffe - Harry Potter himself - will be in Leicester Square tomorrow for the movie "Horns")

"I think Voldermort was misunderstood, is all. We were all just kids, making mistakes...." Jason Isaacs played the villainous Lucius Malfoy in the Harry Potter movies. And to think, I only photographed Professor Snape one premiere ago (and Daniel Radcliffe - Harry Potter himself - will be in Leicester Square tomorrow for the movie "Horns")

At this point, interviewer Edith Bowman left the stage, and somebody called out "Aren't you going to interview Brad Pitt up there?" And she said... no.

Oh.

"Buddy, can I grab that microphone?" Instead of being interviewed, Brad Pitt gave a quick shout-out to the fans in Leicester Square. He then did more media interviews and then returned to signing autographs. But... but... my spot next to the stage was.... RIGHT NEXT TO THE STAGE. The one he would now not be interviewed on.

"Buddy, can I grab that microphone?" Instead of being interviewed, Brad Pitt gave a quick shout-out to the fans in Leicester Square. He then did more media interviews and then returned to signing autographs. But... but... my spot next to the stage was.... RIGHT NEXT TO THE STAGE. The one he would now not be interviewed on.

Brad Pitt and I share a moment, but it wasn't enough for me to get an autograph on a photo I'd taken at the Baftas in 2012 when we shared a slightly different but somewhat related moment.

Brad Pitt and I share a moment, but it wasn't enough for me to get an autograph on a photo I'd taken at the Baftas in 2012 when we shared a slightly different but somewhat related moment.

Brad Pitt signs near my area. Either that or I've just taken a screen-grab from the movie 'World War Z' the zombie movie he starred in and whose premiere I *just* missed.

Brad Pitt signs near my area. Either that or I've just taken a screen-grab from the movie 'World War Z' the zombie movie he starred in and whose premiere I *just* missed.

Brad Pitt does a few more interviews, the crush of the teen girls behind and to the side and behind me has reduced to breathable levels, and the guy in the background of this shot really REALLY wants to take that photo with his iPad.

Brad Pitt does a few more interviews, the crush of the teen girls behind and to the side and behind me has reduced to breathable levels, and the guy in the background of this shot really REALLY wants to take that photo with his iPad.

"But Brad! You can't leave us! What if there's a zombie outbreak?" The first thing I'd think about doing is killing the girls next to me. Because I think they'd have even less moral scruples as zombies than they do as human beings.

"But Brad! You can't leave us! What if there's a zombie outbreak?" The first thing I'd think about doing is killing the girls next to me. Because I think they'd have even less moral scruples as zombies than they do as human beings.

Brad Pitt heads indoors to do photos and introduce the film, but promises to return and sign some more. And because he's effectively a AAA-lister, his promise does have some plausibility. But will he stay inside for the full 134min runtime, or leave earlier? I'm betting (also hoping) the latter.

Brad Pitt heads indoors to do photos and introduce the film, but promises to return and sign some more. And because he's effectively a AAA-lister, his promise does have some plausibility. But will he stay inside for the full 134min runtime, or leave earlier? I'm betting (also hoping) the latter.

About 10-15mins later, the stars begin to exit. Jason Isaacs has either been summoned by the dark lord, or is heading to the afterparty (or both, if Voldemort is at the afterparty)

About 10-15mins later, the stars begin to exit. Jason Isaacs has either been summoned by the dark lord, or is heading to the afterparty (or both, if Voldemort is at the afterparty)

"Worst popcorn ever, right?"  Jon Bernthal exits next, followed by Michael  Peña.

"Worst popcorn ever, right?" Jon Bernthal exits next, followed by Michael Peña.

David Ayer Staredown!! Seems like I won't be getting a Brad Pitt autograph OR the five dollars David Ayer owes me

David Ayer Staredown!! Seems like I won't be getting a Brad Pitt autograph OR the five dollars David Ayer owes me

"I know I earn tens of millions of dollars per movie, but obviously I don't carry it on me, for precisely the reason you might expect"  True to his word, though, Brad Pitt did sign in the far reaches. I do believe the dude with the large Brad Pitt Art got it signed (not sure if he also signed the Angelina Jolie one...)

"I know I earn tens of millions of dollars per movie, but obviously I don't carry it on me, for precisely the reason you might expect" True to his word, though, Brad Pitt did sign in the far reaches. I do believe the dude with the large Brad Pitt Art got it signed (not sure if he also signed the Angelina Jolie one...)

Didn't get the autograph, but glad I stayed til the end.

Didn't get the autograph, but glad I stayed til the end.

So.. that's the end of BFI London Film Festival for 2014 and another movie for The Archive of Movie Premieres which resides Here. Regular Premieres are scheduled to resume..... tomorrow, weirdly.

Until then!

By the way, if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or facebook at premieresdotco.

17 Oct - The BFI LFF 'A Little Chaos' Premiere

October 17th, 2014.

This premiere journal is the companionpiece to another premiere journal which rather incredibly was taking place AT THE SAME TIME on the SAME RED CARPET.

Although.... I've since learned it was even stranger than that.

Here's how it went down

Two Lists, Two Premieres, one carpet. This journal is for Alan Rickman's "A Little Chaos", the other one was for the James McAvoy-led  "The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby : Them" . And...

Two Lists, Two Premieres, one carpet. This journal is for Alan Rickman's "A Little Chaos", the other one was for the James McAvoy-led "The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby : Them". And...

This is not merely a random good-looking fashionable salmon-wearing Suit-jacked woman... this is Kalki Koechlin who is in the movie "Margarita With A Straw" which was ALSO having its (very brief) premiere at the same time. I'm not quite sure whether I like this "Red Carpet As A Busy Airport Runway" thing they're doing... but I tend to think I do.

This is not merely a random good-looking fashionable salmon-wearing Suit-jacked woman... this is Kalki Koechlin who is in the movie "Margarita With A Straw" which was ALSO having its (very brief) premiere at the same time. I'm not quite sure whether I like this "Red Carpet As A Busy Airport Runway" thing they're doing... but I tend to think I do.

Sleeves with zippers... holes torn out of the waist of a formal jacket.... salmon pink colour... I'm so out of touch with the nuances of today's fashion I'm wondering if it's still okay to wear a black beanie when you step outdoors and it's cold.

Sleeves with zippers... holes torn out of the waist of a formal jacket.... salmon pink colour... I'm so out of touch with the nuances of today's fashion I'm wondering if it's still okay to wear a black beanie when you step outdoors and it's cold.

Meanwhile, this is not a battle suit for Elysium or Edge of Tomorrow constituting a 4th/5th simultaneous premiere, but rather a BBC cameraman with a counter-weighted, gymbal-stabilised, waist-mounted, possibly-also-cup-holder-included camera rig. And to think, I still use two hands to hold my camera. Or one if I'm feeling particularly adventurous.

Meanwhile, this is not a battle suit for Elysium or Edge of Tomorrow constituting a 4th/5th simultaneous premiere, but rather a BBC cameraman with a counter-weighted, gymbal-stabilised, waist-mounted, possibly-also-cup-holder-included camera rig. And to think, I still use two hands to hold my camera. Or one if I'm feeling particularly adventurous.

Contrary to (possible) popular belief, people don't just randomly stand on a red carpet to be interviewed or photographed. Sometimes there are markings on a carpet to show where people will stand. Alternatively, you have to be realistic... are you REALLY going to tell Professor Snape or Hans Gruber where he's meant to stand?

Contrary to (possible) popular belief, people don't just randomly stand on a red carpet to be interviewed or photographed. Sometimes there are markings on a carpet to show where people will stand. Alternatively, you have to be realistic... are you REALLY going to tell Professor Snape or Hans Gruber where he's meant to stand?

BBC Dude did a couple of practice runs along the carpet when it was still fairly unoccupied. I'm sure you could mount a couple of flamethrowers and a hand-grenade launcher on this rig and it would pretty much go unnoticed.

BBC Dude did a couple of practice runs along the carpet when it was still fairly unoccupied. I'm sure you could mount a couple of flamethrowers and a hand-grenade launcher on this rig and it would pretty much go unnoticed.

Security and Reporters came into our area and warned us that while we had a front-row spot, we should be aware that our views would likely be blocked by Media and interviewers. So.... this could have been quite the journal for "Blurry, Therefore Art" shots. Fortunately, my newly renovated previously waterlogged 70-200mm lens was capable of taking advantage of gaps. Plus I'd brought my GoPro... just in case.

Security and Reporters came into our area and warned us that while we had a front-row spot, we should be aware that our views would likely be blocked by Media and interviewers. So.... this could have been quite the journal for "Blurry, Therefore Art" shots. Fortunately, my newly renovated previously waterlogged 70-200mm lens was capable of taking advantage of gaps. Plus I'd brought my GoPro... just in case.

He's arrived! Alan Rickman is both the star and director of this film. Several autograph dealers literally went along the lines of fans at this premiere making sure that nobody had Harry Potter stuff for him to sign, because apparently not only will he not sign such items, but he'll snub anyone around anyone who does. I have no idea if that's true, but I'll happily escalate that rumour by saying he'll headbutt babies and burn down cafes nearby if anyone so much as mentioned Severus Snape.

He's arrived! Alan Rickman is both the star and director of this film. Several autograph dealers literally went along the lines of fans at this premiere making sure that nobody had Harry Potter stuff for him to sign, because apparently not only will he not sign such items, but he'll snub anyone around anyone who does. I have no idea if that's true, but I'll happily escalate that rumour by saying he'll headbutt babies and burn down cafes nearby if anyone so much as mentioned Severus Snape.

"What's that? Did you say you once knew someone who once WATCHED a Harry Potter movie? I'll torch your home town if that's even half-true" .

"What's that? Did you say you once knew someone who once WATCHED a Harry Potter movie? I'll torch your home town if that's even half-true".

BBC reporter near me clutches interview questions nervously, has one last look to ensure that the words "Harry", "Potter" don't appear - even out of context - anywhere... and hopes that he doesn't accidentally refer to the film "A Little Chaos" as in any way "magical"

BBC reporter near me clutches interview questions nervously, has one last look to ensure that the words "Harry", "Potter" don't appear - even out of context - anywhere... and hopes that he doesn't accidentally refer to the film "A Little Chaos" as in any way "magical"

Alan Rickman glowers at the BBC as they do a couple of soundchecks, keeping him waiting on the red carpet.

Alan Rickman glowers at the BBC as they do a couple of soundchecks, keeping him waiting on the red carpet.

He then realises it means a reprieve from signing autographs and torching villages and cheers up immediately. (I kid... Alan Rickman is in fact very cool)

He then realises it means a reprieve from signing autographs and torching villages and cheers up immediately. (I kid... Alan Rickman is in fact very cool)

"Those rumours that an angel get its wings torn off by me personally every time anyone asks me about Harry Potter were actually started by me. How was I supposed to know that my dry wit would be interpreted as malice?" Still, best to restrict your autograph requests to such things as Galaxy Quest and Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, just to be sure.

"Those rumours that an angel get its wings torn off by me personally every time anyone asks me about Harry Potter were actually started by me. How was I supposed to know that my dry wit would be interpreted as malice?" Still, best to restrict your autograph requests to such things as Galaxy Quest and Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, just to be sure.

"You had the words "Pensieve" and "Potion" running through your mind, didn't you?"

"You had the words "Pensieve" and "Potion" running through your mind, didn't you?"

Reporter 1 (left): "Am I allowed to mention Die Hard?" Reporter 2 (right) "No, you fool. He'll kill us all"

Reporter 1 (left): "Am I allowed to mention Die Hard?"
Reporter 2 (right) "No, you fool. He'll kill us all"

"Hey, is that Alan Rickman?? Awesome, I brought a copy of The Halfblood Prince for him to sign"  In my imagination, James McAvoy said this and was immediately tackled to the ground, his DVD confiscated and replaced with a copy of "Love, Actually"

"Hey, is that Alan Rickman?? Awesome, I brought a copy of The Halfblood Prince for him to sign" In my imagination, James McAvoy said this and was immediately tackled to the ground, his DVD confiscated and replaced with a copy of "Love, Actually"

"No, I will not say why Kate Winslet, Helen McCrory, Stanley Tucci and Matthias Shoenaerts arne't here, and no it has nothing to do with anything that can be traced to me."

"No, I will not say why Kate Winslet, Helen McCrory, Stanley Tucci and Matthias Shoenaerts arne't here, and no it has nothing to do with anything that can be traced to me."

There was one other star on the red carpet at this premiere, not attached to any of the two (three) movies having premieres, and that's Homeland's Damian Lewis. Although I now note that the blurry dude in front of him is almost certainly Actor/Director Dexter Fletcher whose appearance at premieres for movies he's not involved in used to a source of derision. However, I've since watched his rather excellent film "Wild Bill" and I was very impressed.

There was one other star on the red carpet at this premiere, not attached to any of the two (three) movies having premieres, and that's Homeland's Damian Lewis. Although I now note that the blurry dude in front of him is almost certainly Actor/Director Dexter Fletcher whose appearance at premieres for movies he's not involved in used to a source of derision. However, I've since watched his rather excellent film "Wild Bill" and I was very impressed.

"I'm going to sign some autographs. Pam, hand me my pen. By which I obviously mean "Silencer" "

"I'm going to sign some autographs. Pam, hand me my pen. By which I obviously mean "Silencer" "

"Wait.. .is that a Quiddich Broom??"

"Wait.. .is that a Quiddich Broom??"

"I can hold this smile for four seconds more. Then I'm going back to scowling. it's much easier on my jaw muscles"  A frown is my natural 'resting' face too. They say it takes less muscles to smile, but I don't believe them.

"I can hold this smile for four seconds more. Then I'm going back to scowling. it's much easier on my jaw muscles" A frown is my natural 'resting' face too. They say it takes less muscles to smile, but I don't believe them.

"My movie ticket? Pam, hand me my silencer."

"My movie ticket? Pam, hand me my silencer."

" These aren't my fingerprints. Honestly. They're Stanley Tucci's. Just ask him"

"These aren't my fingerprints. Honestly. They're Stanley Tucci's. Just ask him"

So... .that was a bit of an experience. And lest it be misunderstood... Alan Rickman was very nice. Although he didn't sign anything from Harry Potter either. And it's Another Movie For The Archive Of Movie Premieres

Tomorrow I'm going to do the impossible and NOT go to any London Film Festival events : Instead I'll save my strength and grab some sleep and prepare myself for the BFI LFF Closing Film - the Brad Pitt-led "Fury". I assume that'll be a madhouse.

Until next time!

By the way, if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or facebook at premieresdotco.

16th Oct - the BFI LFF 'Foxcatcher' Premiere

October 16th, 2014.

Well... something bad happened. I got to Leicester Square to learn that owing to the predictable (but underestimated-by-me) consequence of me shooting so many torrential-downpour premieres this London Film Festival (eg. Yesterday), my MOST IMPORTANT lens is broken. It's got condensation inside the lens elements and .... well... this is BAD.

Worse would be not finding out until you're literally at the premiere.

So... that's kind of what happened. Here's how it went down.

*obviously* I don't go to a premiere with just one (1) DSLR... although my decision to go with a long-term interim mobile phone so primitive it doesn't have a camera might have come back to hurt me. Still... it's all on one camera (D700) and one non-zoom prime (50mm f1.8). Shit just got real people. I might start swearing and everything.

*obviously* I don't go to a premiere with just one (1) DSLR... although my decision to go with a long-term interim mobile phone so primitive it doesn't have a camera might have come back to hurt me. Still... it's all on one camera (D700) and one non-zoom prime (50mm f1.8). Shit just got real people. I might start swearing and everything.

Our list for this premiere has only FOUR photos. And to the dismay of a whole bunch of teenage girls to my right, absent from that list was the mighty Channing Tatum. They tried to put a brave face on and say they also liked Steve Carrell and were looking forward to meeting him, but it was hard to be convinced....

Our list for this premiere has only FOUR photos. And to the dismay of a whole bunch of teenage girls to my right, absent from that list was the mighty Channing Tatum. They tried to put a brave face on and say they also liked Steve Carrell and were looking forward to meeting him, but it was hard to be convinced....

This is not one of the four people on The List, however he was recognised as a TV (?) personality (?) from Ireland (?) by the guy from Dublin to my left, who was here desperate to get Steve Carrell to sign an Anchorman poster.

This is not one of the four people on The List, however he was recognised as a TV (?) personality (?) from Ireland (?) by the guy from Dublin to my left, who was here desperate to get Steve Carrell to sign an Anchorman poster.

That blue illuminated dot in the distance is Steve Carrell. It's at distances like this that I reach for my trusty Tamron 70-200mm attached to the sometimes-savvy autofocus of the Pentax it's mounted on and remember that I just found out that the lens makes the world look like it's in perma-fog. Awesome though it is (and it is), a 50mm prime lens doesn't have much reach.

That blue illuminated dot in the distance is Steve Carrell. It's at distances like this that I reach for my trusty Tamron 70-200mm attached to the sometimes-savvy autofocus of the Pentax it's mounted on and remember that I just found out that the lens makes the world look like it's in perma-fog. Awesome though it is (and it is), a 50mm prime lens doesn't have much reach.

On the plus (and also rather awesome side) the silvery-haired SIX-TIME Oscar Nominee (incl. 1x win) Vanessa Redgrave struts down the carpet to be interviewed, and I choose to believe she's brought an entourage / posse of truly spectacular size... alternatively she might just be overtaking slow-moving civilians to her right.

On the plus (and also rather awesome side) the silvery-haired SIX-TIME Oscar Nominee (incl. 1x win) Vanessa Redgrave struts down the carpet to be interviewed, and I choose to believe she's brought an entourage / posse of truly spectacular size... alternatively she might just be overtaking slow-moving civilians to her right.

"Hells no, I ain't signing. I'll be hangin' with mah b1tch-h0s over they-ah".  Sorry for the language, but I just lost my #1 lens and I'm still raw. Also : Vanesssa Redgrave came over and signed because she's super-classy and nice.

"Hells no, I ain't signing. I'll be hangin' with mah b1tch-h0s over they-ah". Sorry for the language, but I just lost my #1 lens and I'm still raw. Also : Vanesssa Redgrave came over and signed because she's super-classy and nice.

"I smile like this because I know at least six pressure-points that can incapacitate a fully-grown man. Got a problem with that?".  No, ma'am, because I choose to believe it too.

"I smile like this because I know at least six pressure-points that can incapacitate a fully-grown man. Got a problem with that?". No, ma'am, because I choose to believe it too.

"well, standing here in this ill-lit non-carpeted nook behind the mysterious and vaguely chemically-hazardous-looking yellow "H" on the wall behind me reminds me that maybe I'll be treated even better once I get that seventh Oscar Nomination. What do you think? " I say Vanessa Redgrave would win in an arm-wrestle.

"well, standing here in this ill-lit non-carpeted nook behind the mysterious and vaguely chemically-hazardous-looking yellow "H" on the wall behind me reminds me that maybe I'll be treated even better once I get that seventh Oscar Nomination. What do you think?" I say Vanessa Redgrave would win in an arm-wrestle.

If you can pull your focus away from the blurry girls young enough to be your daughter, the man in the background of this particular lens I'm using is director Bennett Miller, who got an Oscar nomination for directing the late Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Capote (2006)" and whose follow-up film "Moneyball (2011)" with Brad Pitt was in my opinion even better.

If you can pull your focus away from the blurry girls young enough to be your daughter, the man in the background of this particular lens I'm using is director Bennett Miller, who got an Oscar nomination for directing the late Philip Seymour Hoffman in "Capote (2006)" and whose follow-up film "Moneyball (2011)" with Brad Pitt was in my opinion even better.

Random female on the Red Carpet. She's not in this movie, but crucially she's at a great range for me to take photos, and until director Bennett Miller gets interviewed, Steve Carrell heads towards our part of the crowd, or Sienna Miller arrives she'll tide me over.

Random female on the Red Carpet. She's not in this movie, but crucially she's at a great range for me to take photos, and until director Bennett Miller gets interviewed, Steve Carrell heads towards our part of the crowd, or Sienna Miller arrives she'll tide me over.

"But if that lens is broken and/or un-usable, how will he use to take photos at tomorrow's TWO premieres and Sunday's Gala-closing "Fury" premiere? I feel so sorry for him. "  I feel so sorry for me too.

"But if that lens is broken and/or un-usable, how will he use to take photos at tomorrow's TWO premieres and Sunday's Gala-closing "Fury" premiere? I feel so sorry for him. " I feel so sorry for me too.

"Still... I'll try to go on in a spirit of optimism and determination".  Hmpf. Easy for him to say, his last movie got a Palm D'Or nomination for best film AND won him the best director award at Cannes this year. Meanwhile, my premiere for yesterday's "Whiplash", at which my lens broke in the service of photographing J.K.Simmons, has had views numbering what I will optimistically exaggerate as "low double digits"

"Still... I'll try to go on in a spirit of optimism and determination". Hmpf. Easy for him to say, his last movie got a Palm D'Or nomination for best film AND won him the best director award at Cannes this year. Meanwhile, my premiere for yesterday's "Whiplash", at which my lens broke in the service of photographing J.K.Simmons, has had views numbering what I will optimistically exaggerate as "low double digits"

Oh, but there is one other thing I didn't mention. Purely on a random whim, I brought my little GoPro to this event. And while its zoom is even worse than the Nikon's.... as well as the megapixels.... and the autofocus... and the range... and the low-light capability. The point is : it shows both a small picture of Steve Carrell and they guy to my right who was desperate to get his poster signed. Sadly, it wasn't. It was that kind of day.

Oh, but there is one other thing I didn't mention. Purely on a random whim, I brought my little GoPro to this event. And while its zoom is even worse than the Nikon's.... as well as the megapixels.... and the autofocus... and the range... and the low-light capability. The point is : it shows both a small picture of Steve Carrell and they guy to my right who was desperate to get his poster signed. Sadly, it wasn't. It was that kind of day.

Another shot... even closer. This GoPro has possibilities. And since I have it in a waterproof casing at all times, it could yet be the ULTIMATE camera of final resort.

Another shot... even closer. This GoPro has possibilities. And since I have it in a waterproof casing at all times, it could yet be the ULTIMATE camera of final resort.

Excitingly, Steve Carrell has moved into the range of the slightly more robust and capable full-frame Nikon...

Excitingly, Steve Carrell has moved into the range of the slightly more robust and capable full-frame Nikon...

... where he is promptly blocked by a PA chatting up the pretty girl with The List from earlier. I'm not really sure... ordinarily I'd fantasize about throwing something, but all I've got handy is my GoPro and while it'd survive the impact, I kind of need in its crucial capacity of taking photos.

... where he is promptly blocked by a PA chatting up the pretty girl with The List from earlier. I'm not really sure... ordinarily I'd fantasize about throwing something, but all I've got handy is my GoPro and while it'd survive the impact, I kind of need in its crucial capacity of taking photos.

Still... on the Awesome side, the beautiful Sienna Miller has taken up a spot on the Red Carpet, facing in my direction, to be interviewed....

Still... on the Awesome side, the beautiful Sienna Miller has taken up a spot on the Red Carpet, facing in my direction, to be interviewed....

.... until she's blocked by Awesome Moustache Guy, who at the last few premieres had merely awesomely been displaying his one-month-early Mo without blocking views of actresses. I'd throw something, but Francis is borrowing my otherwise useless K3 with its vaguely okay 40mm pancake lens. And as noted, I need the GoPro. And whatever else, the Moustache is frikkin' amazing.

.... until she's blocked by Awesome Moustache Guy, who at the last few premieres had merely awesomely been displaying his one-month-early Mo without blocking views of actresses. I'd throw something, but Francis is borrowing my otherwise useless K3 with its vaguely okay 40mm pancake lens. And as noted, I need the GoPro. And whatever else, the Moustache is frikkin' amazing.

Sienna Miller's look of disbelief and disdain sees Awesome Moustache Guy scuttle sideways about a meter. Between her and Vanessa Redgrave, you could easily harass and intimidate a small-to-medium sized town. And be both stunning-looking and classy while doing so.

Sienna Miller's look of disbelief and disdain sees Awesome Moustache Guy scuttle sideways about a meter. Between her and Vanessa Redgrave, you could easily harass and intimidate a small-to-medium sized town. And be both stunning-looking and classy while doing so.

For all of three frames at 5fps, Steve Carrell regarded our part of the crowd with about the same regard as Sienna Miller did Amazing Moustache Guy moments ago.

For all of three frames at 5fps, Steve Carrell regarded our part of the crowd with about the same regard as Sienna Miller did Amazing Moustache Guy moments ago.

"I just wanna know what the "H" on the yellow sign stands for, Bob. Come back to me when you know, or don't come back"

"I just wanna know what the "H" on the yellow sign stands for, Bob. Come back to me when you know, or don't come back"

I only recently photographed Sienna Miller a bit over a week ago at the "Effie Grey" premiere... but I would certainly not be averse to photographing her at more premieres, whether it's movies she's in, or whether she just attends, John Hurt-like, because she got an invite.

I only recently photographed Sienna Miller a bit over a week ago at the "Effie Grey" premiere... but I would certainly not be averse to photographing her at more premieres, whether it's movies she's in, or whether she just attends, John Hurt-like, because she got an invite.

I had the GoPro taking one photo every half-second and in my other hand while I concentrated on using the Nikon, hoping that the wide angle would prove some interesting views taken purely by happy accident. This? Might be one of those.

I had the GoPro taking one photo every half-second and in my other hand while I concentrated on using the Nikon, hoping that the wide angle would prove some interesting views taken purely by happy accident. This? Might be one of those.

"If that guy were to start a Kickstarter campaign for a new Tamron 70-200mm f2.8 lens, I'd totally make sure to contribute" . And I'd make sure to let you.

"If that guy were to start a Kickstarter campaign for a new Tamron 70-200mm f2.8 lens, I'd totally make sure to contribute". And I'd make sure to let you.

"I love your dress. But don't worry, you don't have to demean us both by complimenting mine, which is obviously not as nice" "But it is warmer...." "Yes, it certainly is"

"I love your dress. But don't worry, you don't have to demean us both by complimenting mine, which is obviously not as nice"
"But it is warmer...."
"Yes, it certainly is"

And one more photo from the GoPro. By no means the worst photo I've taken at a premiere.

And one more photo from the GoPro. By no means the worst photo I've taken at a premiere.

So... that was another one. It was frustrating, it was disheartening... it'll probably be both expensive and inconvenient to try to find a replacement for the Tamron, and it almost certainly won't be solved in time for tomorrows, or in any case Sunday's or Monday's premieres.

But there are worse emergencies, like my laundry and the pile of dishes in my sink back at the apartment. By which I mean - which Bentley to be driven home in, and whether I should invite Charlize Theron up to St Albans on Saturday or wait until next week when London Film Festival is over.

Until next time! (ie. Tomorrow) when I'll complain about how I miss my lens and how inferior my kit-lens replacement is (ironically... it's waterproof).

UPDATE : IT APPEARS THE LENS IS OKAY. I UNSCREWED OFF THE FRONT ELEMENT/CAP, WIPED AND DRIED IT AND LET IT REST... THIS MORNING IT WAS UNFOGGY. MIGHT HAVE A BIT OF LIFE IN IT YET (WOOHOO)

Either way, it's another movie for my "Archive of Movie Premieres".

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or facebook at premieresdotco.

 

15th Oct - the BFI LFF 'Love is Strange' Premiere

October 15th, 2014.

Mere half an hour before the premiere of the bigger and bolder (and wetter) premiere for "Whiplash", I happened to meander to the much more petite carpet in front of the Odeon West End to discover... not exactly a 'Premiere'... but more of a 'Premierelet' - a star and a director, two interviewers and a few photographers.

And a few confused-looking tourists.

Here's how it (briefly) went down.

"Premiere going down. Right here. Right now. No... seriously. Where are you going? Alfred Moline is about to be In Da House!"

"Premiere going down. Right here. Right now. No... seriously. Where are you going? Alfred Moline is about to be In Da House!"

If you don't recognise Alfred Molina, it's possibly because in his most famous recent(ish) role as Doc Ock in the second Tobey Maguire Spider-Man film, he was clean-shaven and usually wore sunglasses. And had four giant robotic metallic arms emanating from his back.

If you don't recognise Alfred Molina, it's possibly because in his most famous recent(ish) role as Doc Ock in the second Tobey Maguire Spider-Man film, he was clean-shaven and usually wore sunglasses. And had four giant robotic metallic arms emanating from his back.

"Check it out! It's me! I'm on a movie poster. No... not the grey-haired dude in front. That's John Lithgow. He's not here. I'm very sorry if that disappoints you"   

"Check it out! It's me! I'm on a movie poster. No... not the grey-haired dude in front. That's John Lithgow. He's not here. I'm very sorry if that disappoints you"
 

"No, I'm not the ticket stub collector at this cinema. I'm the director of this film. That said, I'm pleased you're attending cinema. It keeps the industry going"

"No, I'm not the ticket stub collector at this cinema. I'm the director of this film. That said, I'm pleased you're attending cinema. It keeps the industry going"

If you haven't heard of Ira Sachs (and I haven't) then that's your (my) own damn fault. He's almost certainly won more film awards than you have (not you, if you're reading this Steven Spielberg) - for instance he won the 2005 Sundance Grand Jury prize for his film "Forty Shades of Blue". Which I'm guessing YOU didn't.

If you haven't heard of Ira Sachs (and I haven't) then that's your (my) own damn fault. He's almost certainly won more film awards than you have (not you, if you're reading this Steven Spielberg) - for instance he won the 2005 Sundance Grand Jury prize for his film "Forty Shades of Blue". Which I'm guessing YOU didn't.

It's not the biggest media pen I've ever seen. But on Sunday I saw a completely empty carpet with nobody there at all, so this is considerably grander (and brighter) than that.

It's not the biggest media pen I've ever seen. But on Sunday I saw a completely empty carpet with nobody there at all, so this is considerably grander (and brighter) than that.

"Seriously? You wore THAT to interview me? Oh, I'm sure it's very comfortable. But that's not really the issue at hand". I have no evidence that Ira Sachs said this as I had my headphones on. For all I know he might have negotiated to buy the jacket this guy was wearing because it looked so stylish and comfortable.

"Seriously? You wore THAT to interview me? Oh, I'm sure it's very comfortable. But that's not really the issue at hand". I have no evidence that Ira Sachs said this as I had my headphones on. For all I know he might have negotiated to buy the jacket this guy was wearing because it looked so stylish and comfortable.

"What was it like working with John Lithgow? Why don't you ask him... oh, that's right. He didn't bother to come. Also, asking him that question would have been slightly weird. I'm sorry : I don't know where I'm going with this."

"What was it like working with John Lithgow? Why don't you ask him... oh, that's right. He didn't bother to come. Also, asking him that question would have been slightly weird. I'm sorry : I don't know where I'm going with this."

"What was it like working with John Lithgow? I kept asking him to sign Spider-Man toys for my kids. He didn't like it. It was this thing we had throughout the shoot"

"What was it like working with John Lithgow? I kept asking him to sign Spider-Man toys for my kids. He didn't like it. It was this thing we had throughout the shoot"

Alfred Molina is possibly even more famous as the young kid at the start of Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark who won't throw Indy the whip until Indy throws him The Idol. I won't spoil it by saying what happens next.. you should totally watch the movie if you haven't seen it (also : why haven't you seen it?)

Alfred Molina is possibly even more famous as the young kid at the start of Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Ark who won't throw Indy the whip until Indy throws him The Idol. I won't spoil it by saying what happens next.. you should totally watch the movie if you haven't seen it (also : why haven't you seen it?)

"Seriously, you should check out my high score on this. It impresses even me, quite frankly"

"Seriously, you should check out my high score on this. It impresses even me, quite frankly"

"To the left. No... more to the left. Now turn around. Now look over your left shoulder. No, your OTHER left shoulder. There. Now you know how dumb you guys sound whenever you do that"  Alfred Molina exacts easy vengeance on a couple of Paparazzi.

"To the left. No... more to the left. Now turn around. Now look over your left shoulder. No, your OTHER left shoulder. There. Now you know how dumb you guys sound whenever you do that" Alfred Molina exacts easy vengeance on a couple of Paparazzi.

"This man? Is the Shit. Am I allowed to say "The Shit" in this country? It's totally a compliment"

"This man? Is the Shit. Am I allowed to say "The Shit" in this country? It's totally a compliment"

So... that was that. A short journal. Hey... if you have have Short Stories, Short Films and.... Short People, you can have short journals. And obviously it still goes into the Archive of Movie Premieres

Time for me to drag myself off to the next premiere, mere moments later, for "Whiplash". Until Next Time...... (which sounds a bit weird since I posted the "Whiplash" premiere before I posted this one. Still... tomorrow there's another premiere as BFI LFF continues.

ps. if you ever want to know when I post one of these journals, feel free to follow me on twitter @berndt2_photo or facebook at premieresdotco.